


Captivated

by kyloewok



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, BDSM, Bondage, Consensual Underage Sex, Daddy Dom Kylo Ren, Domestic Violence, Dominant Kylo Ren, Dubious Consent, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Exhibitionism, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gaslighting, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Masochism, Minor Character Death, Nude Photos, Physical Abuse, Praise Kink, Professor Kylo Ren, Sadism, Sexual Violence, Size Kink, Slapping, Smut, Violence, light dd/lg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:00:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 117,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29325879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyloewok/pseuds/kyloewok
Summary: Photography was your safe haven. You depended on it for a source of tranquility, which was a steel factor as to why you have been retaking the class for years.Things change for the better (and the worse) when your photography teacher retires and a new and young, brooding man-- 𝗞𝘆𝗹𝗼 𝗥𝗲𝗻-- fills her position with a mysterious demeanor that captivates you.Between the lust and the chaos that has taken over your life since the moment you met him, the chaos always seemed to win.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Reader, Poe Dameron/Finn
Kudos: 14





	1. Whatever Fits to You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kylorensgf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kylorensgf/gifts).



The forenoon sun beamed through the polished pane of your windshield. The intoxicating scent of coffee beans wafted into your face, as tendrils of steam emitted from your latte. 

A mixture of gratitude and trepidation was electrifying your twiddling veins, as you zoomed down the familiar course guiding you to the fragile home of your best friend, Poe Dameron. 

The first day jitters were pumping your blood full of adrenaline and distress, only you persevered through the turmoil and sipped on your warm coffee. 

Despite your morning voice being croaky and hoarse, you rasped the music blaring from the stereo, drumming the leather curve of the steering wheel. You swerved into the narrow driveway buttressing Poe's house, typing him a brisk message to alert him that you were outside. 

He emerged from his front door in a matter of seconds, his bookbag draped over his shoulder, as he pawed his tousled, chestnut locks out of his fatigued face. He flashed you a dreary smile, jerking the passenger door open, plopping down brashly with a content sigh.

"We are finally seniors!" He chirped, and you chuckled giddily in response, shifting gears and cautiously backing out of his twisty driveway. 

"I'm already anticipating the last day of school." You mused, winking at him flagrantly, and he snickered in agreement. 

"There has to be something you're looking forward to." He narrowed his eyes at you, with a quarrying head tilt, as you shrugged blatantly.

"Retaking photography." You retorted, and Poe scoffed at you in disbelief. 

"Are you seriously taking it again? It's the third year in a row." He grumbles, and you nodded fervently, taking another noisy gulp of your scolding coffee. 

Photography was a refuge for you, a sweet escape from the bustling world and all of its exasperating prosperities. It was pacifying, peaceful, and you could envision yourself being a professional photographer in your future, if you continued acing the class and taking online courses to improve the summary of your college resume. 

You were looking forward to reacquainting with your cherished teacher, Mrs. Harris—  
she was hospitable and eld, and you always swooned over her sagacious advice. 

Once you arrived to the school, you chugged the remnants of your coffee— even though the scolding contents burned your throat, and discarded the trash in the back seat of your car.

The horn chimed boisterously as you locked your car, both you and Poe shuffling through the vacant parking lot. 

"What's your first period?" You asked inquisitively, adjusting the straps of your bookbag, that weighed the equivalent of a boulder. 

"Algebra." He wiggled his eyebrows. "You?"

You feigned a dramatic groan, "Drama." 

Poe breached the doors open with his forearm, and you smiled gratefully as you sauntered past him and into the building— that reeked of a musty air conditioning unit, and accumulated dust. 

Navigating the tarnished halls was futile. You bid your farewells to Poe, and skipped to the photography classroom— you had fifteen minutes before first period would start, so you decided just to pop in to visit Mrs. Harris. 

The mahogany door was bulky and heavy, as you nudged it open with a supple smile splaying on your lips. 

Your amiable grin faltered, contorting into a lopsided, bewildered smile, when your eyes locked with a diabolical pair of honey-speckled irises. 

He peered up at you through the trim of his John Lennon styled glasses, his plump, rouge lips twisting into a poised smirk. His large, veiny hands briskly ruffled with a pile of papers, as he slipped his glasses off of his face and stood up to his full, colossal height. 

"Is there something I can help you with?" His navally, husky voice reverberated around the scalloped walls of the classroom, his broad arms crossing over his swelling chest. 

Your cheeks were flushed scarlet with sheepishness, as you staggered over the words stimulating on the tip of your tongue. His raven, coiled locks swayed with the bristle of his shirt, as he rolled his shoulders and expectantly narrowed his eyes. 

"No— I mean yes." You babbled, and his flamboyant smirk deepened. "Do you happen to know where Mrs. Harris is? Or what room she switched to?" You asked bashfully, subconsciously nibbling on your bottom lip. 

His alluring, titillating features scrunched up in contemplation as he sighed mundanely, strutting back to his belching office chair and lowering himself into it slowly. He twiddled with his pen, lips pursed as he pondered.

He appeared young. Older than an adolescent, but merely teetering towards his thirties. 

"Mrs. Harris retired, dear." He breathed monotonously. "I've been hired to fill her position."

He noted the solemness that filtered your once cheery features, as the articulation of her retirement wounded you, by a minuscule. "It's unfortunate, I know. I heard she was extremely kind."

Your candied smile was refurbished, as you reminisced on the past few years you spent under the guidance of Mrs. Harris. "She was," You giggled softly, "She taught me everything I need to know about photography." 

He clicks his tongue and smirks, placing his glasses back on his face as he observed a manila file that was perched on his desk. "What's your name?" He asked, and you gulped down your lechery for the brooding man swiveling in his seat. 

You mumbled your name, glancing around the classroom, "And yours?" 

He huffed voluminously, "Mr. Ren. Or, you can just call me Kylo, if you would like." He stated blandly, and nodded stiffly to himself as he continued reading the contents of his folder. "Whatever fits to you." 

The bell emits a blaring ding, and you glanced at the clock mounted to the wall, grimacing when you noticed that first period would be beginning in a couple of minutes. 

"Shit." You hissed, clearing your throat and scrambling towards the door, "I gotta get to class, it was nice to meet you, Mr. Ren." 

He glimpsed your through the vail of his dark eyelashes, offering you an idle wave, "You too. I'm looking forward to seeing you in class today." He exclaimed dolefully, wrinkles brimming his eyelids as he smiled benevolently.

You lingered by the threshold, charily swaying on your feet, before trampling out of the room without uttering another word.

~

All of your classes ticked by tediously, as teachers presented an array of dull syllabuses, and introduced each student to the diminutive rules and regulations that were permitted in their class. 

You sighed exaggeratedly, plucking your cuticles, when the bell indicating sixth period— your photography class— chimed. You stumbled up and out of your chair, dashing for the door, as the teacher hollered a cheerful, "Have a great day!" 

Pacing the halls, that were as familiar as the soft crevices of your palm, you smirked to yourself as you approached the photography classroom. As you meandered past the threshold, you noted that there were only a few students supplying the array of seats— and your teacher, Kylo Ren, was hovering before his grimy whiteboard, hands clasped behind his back. 

His hazel eyes darted to yours, scanning your face with the essence of benign familiarity. He greeted you with a prudent smirk, and the nimble, curt nod of his head. 

You smiled timidly back, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, as you scanned the rows and rows of desks for a place to sit. 

"Where do I sit?" You asked meekly, glancing around at all of the empty seats, before looking back to Ren with an eyebrow cocked. 

Your heart stammered in your chest, as you swallowed thickly, and observed the way he hummed and stroked his jaw in consideration. After a moment, he gestures towards the single desk at the forefront of the classroom, perched merely three feet away from his desk.

You bowed your head in a subtle nod, scampering towards your designated seat. You could already predict the difficulties of concentrating, with your insanely attractive teacher only a breathscape away from you. 

You avoided the libido of his quarry gaze, and instead, opened up your cell phone. Only to groan internally, when a long, pathetic message from your ex-boyfriend articulated on the screen. 

He left three long voicemails, and there were several missed calls. Your breath hitches in your throat, and you can feel your cheeks heat up to be a rouge blush, as your eyes glazed over with a layer of gloss, skimming the message diligently. 

Hey, baby.   
I miss you and love you.   
I know you will never forgive me and things will never be the same, but I just wanted to wish you luck on your first day of senior year. My little sister said she misses you too.

The menacing silhouette of Rens figure was embedding itself into the surface of your desk, as you gulped down the somber lump bobbing in your throat, and peered up at him sheepishly. His eyes were hooded with pique and concern, jaw clenching, as he loomed over you consequentially. He reaches out a hand, gesturing towards your phone. 

Instead of obliging to his wordless demands, you gritted your teeth, and slammed your phone facedown on the desk. "I'm going to the bathroom," you breathed, zilching out of your chair brashly and stomping towards the door, as a trail of humiliation and coyness flaked behind you and peppered the mosaic tiled flooring. 

You were fuming with rage, and tactile sadness, as you trudged your way to the nearest restroom. The relationship you had with him, was toxic, to say the least— and the break-up was still fresh and scathing. The last thing you needed was to be notified of everything that happened, on your first day back to school. 

You speed walk to the nearest restroom, sliding down the tile floor once you reach it. You couldn't believe the audacity your ex had to even text you at all. After all the shit he did to you? He must've known the message would throw you off. There's no way he had good intentions. 

Tears brimmed your eyelids, and your mind was muddied with distraught. The peril inflicted upon the once serene plains of your mind, caused you to sit and sulk on the grimy bathroom floor, for the entire period. 

Peculiarly enough, your heart pulsated in your throat with unease as you thought about explaining your predicament to Ren. 

After about fifteen minutes, you tread through the hallways, that were vacant with quietude due to the amount of students huddling up in their final class period of the day, scurrying towards the photography room. 

You gingerly pealed the door open, roots sprouting from the floor and twining you into a frozen, wide eyed position, as a whole class of students snap their necks to glare at you for interrupting Rens lecture. 

His dark eyebrows furrowed, his chest swelling with his harbored breath, as he pried you with his ravenous gaze. "Excuse me," he waved to the class apologetically, "I'll be just a moment." 

He sauntered through the heedfully silent classroom with long, leisure strides, slipping past the threshold and sealing the door shut behind him. He untucked your phone from the back pocket of his crisp dress pants, handing it to you briskly. 

"I'm sorry, Mr. Ren. I just-"

"What did he do to you?" He murmured abruptly, observing you through squinted, apprehensive eyes. 

"Excuse me?" You asked softly, blinking at him in bewilderment, as you chuckled in perplexion. 

He stiffened, shifting his weight to one foot, crossing his arms defensively. "I saw the text." He stated earnestly, his plump lips curling into a faint scowl. 

Your breath labored in your chest, as you chewed the corner of your lip in consideration, and sighed exaggeratedly. "Theres too much to explain," you giggled breathily. "I don't want to take up any of your time." 

His calloused hand platonically cupped your shoulder, and you suppressed the urge to jolt when electricity pulsed through your veins at his tender touch. "Let's talk another time, then." He offered benignly, with a nurturing smirk. "I'm always here, if you ever need to talk."

You smiled solemnly in response to his benevolent offer, and he smiled back hospitably, slowly reeling his hand back— and your smile contorted into a frown when your eyes caught onto the gleaming, golden ring encompassing his third finger— his ring finger.  
The nymphet in you crumbled at the sight.

"We can over the syllabus after class, if you are free." He suggested, with a tantalizing smirk, as you nodded exuberantly. 

Going over the syllabus seemed reliable, because Mr. Ren could teach his class in methodical ways that opposed Mrs. Harris' teaching methods— and, being alone with him after school did seem to be in your best of interest...

"Great, see you then." He turned for the door but then stopped, and yanked your phone out of your hands. "I think I should keep this. Don't want you getting distracted in any of your other classes." He chuckles darkly and you just nod stiffly, your mouth wouldn't form the words to deject it, and you weren't too mad about having your phone off of you for a bit. 

He gives you one last nod before entering the class again, your phone in his abnormally large hands. "Sorry, class. Where were we?" You hear him explain before the door shuts between the two of you.


	2. Be Responsible

The remainder of the school day went by a tad bit faster, considering you only had seven periods in a day, and not having the distraction of your phone to use during the class made things much more boring. 

One bright side about this class, specifically dreadful physics, is that Poe is in this class as well, and you know the two of you are going to cause some real shit for the teacher. 

The dismissal bell rings, and you walk over to Poe's desk to fill him in on what the rest of your evening was going to look like, as you originally promised him a ride back home, but you had to meet Ren now.

"Don't be mad at me..." You begin, and Poe looks up at you while he continues packing up all of his things. "I can't give you a ride home. You can just take my car and I'll have someone pick me up later. I have to meet with... a teacher." You mumble while turning away from Poe and gazing out the window. 

"Damn, in trouble already? Which teacher?" He asks curiously but with a laugh, and you sigh as he stands up from his desk and you both begin walking out of the classroom.

"My new photography teacher. He's... interesting." You try to maintain a serious face, not trying to sound suspicious but your brightening cheeks betrayed you.

He gave you one glance and his eyes widened and his mouth popped open as he playfully slapped your arm. "You like him!"

You glare at him from the corner of your eyes, pursing your lips tightly. "I- I mean, he's very hot-"

"Oh my god."

You hadn't even realized you were approaching the photography room now and you look back to Poe who is still gawking at you, and you pull out your car keys and hand them over to him. "Speaking of," you point to the door. "Gotta go. I'll see you at the party tonight." You reassure, and he gives you a quick side hug and a wave before running off in the opposite direction. 

You were about to open the door, your hand only inches from the knob, when you hear muffled shouting erupt from the opposite side of it. 

You freeze in your spot and lean forward a bit to get a better listen, only to recognize that deep voice as Kylo Rens. 

"I'm working with a student! Can't you be patient? It won't take that long." You hear him yell with annoyance, and you realize he's on the phone. Your cheeks grow a whole new level of red as you realize he's talking about you. 

"You've got to be kidding me. I'm not fucking having this conversation with you!" He bellows, and you hear the beep of the call ending, and you were feeling guilty- as if you could be responsible for whatever argument he was having.

You stay frozen for a second, afraid to walk in when he's having a moment, when the door abruptly opens and you meet eyes with his, which were furious and dark.

He swallowed thickly and eyed you for a moment, he was clearly trying to restrain the anger which was formed on his face. 

He exhales loudly and rubs his face roughly. "Sorry, y/n. I'm afraid I don't have time to discuss things right now." He says, pulling your phone out of his back pocket and slipping it into your hands. 

"Oh. That's okay." You mumble simply, worried you'll anger him if you argued even though you were eager to know what you missed. "Do you need a ride home?"

You bite your lip nervously once again and your cheeks heat up for what felt like the hundredth time today, but you nod. You didn't have a way home now anyways, Poe took your car and neither of your parents would be home until late. 

He nods curtly and takes a step out of the classroom, locking the classroom behind him before placing a hand on your lower back, guiding you towards one of the main doors.

You hadn't realized just how huge this man was. He was towering highly above you, you had to crane your neck to look up at him. "Thanks." You mutter, and he simply hums in response as he leads you outside.

The crisp breeze blew his raven hair in his face, and he used his free hand that wasn't easing you forward to paw at it. He met your gaze suddenly and smirked, and you looked away, your cheeks flushed. Busted. You weren't checking him out intentionally, it came naturally. 

You reach a shiny, black Porsche and you gasp at the sight of it, the luxury car stuck out compared to all of the other cars in the parking lot. He opened the door for you and you blushed while you stepped inside, buckling yourself in and allowing yourself to take in the fancy interior of the car as he rounds his side of it.

You knew the way he was acting was out of simple kindness and sympathy- but you imagined how suspicious this would look to anyone that could've seen. A student in the car with a new teacher...possibly close in age?

The rattling of the engine starting makes you snap out of your thoughts, and you peek over at Kylo to see him doing the same, before he pulls out of the parking space he had been in. 

He was a fucking psychotic driver- you seriously thought you would crash at any given moment. He was going well over 15 miles over the speed limit, not slowing down for speed bumps or stop signs. You gripped onto the side of your seat, clawing at the extravagant leather. 

Suddenly, a phone begins to ring and you knew it wasn't yours. Kylo mumbles something bitterly under his breath and he snarls before answering the phone. 

"What?" He barks, one hand on the wheel as he continues driving recklessly. Silence for a moment.

"I don't want to talk about this right now. I'm almost home. I just need to make some stops first." He sounded impatient as he listened to whoever he was talking to.

You glance over at him and your eyes catch his hand, the golden ring reflecting the bright sun and you frown as you drown out the rest of Kylo's conversation.

The car begins moving impossibly faster while Kylo grunts and slams his phone into the cup holder, his breaths labored and his nostrils flaring as he holds an intense stare with the road ahead.

That was concerning. Frightening, almost.

"Are you alright?" You ask softly, absentmindly placing a hand on his should and rubbing gently in away to comfort him. 

You remove your hand quickly once you realized what you did and place your hand in your lap. That was inappropriate for a student to do, and you both knew that. 

"I'm fine." He grumbles, sighing loudly before looking at you briefly, then back to the road. "Address?" He asks roughly, pointing towards the electronic panel in his overpriced car at the address search bar. 

You don't say anything as you type in your street name and house number. The air around you felt as if it was slowly suffocating you, his anger made the atmosphere uncomfortable.

"Are you sure you're okay?" You ask again, your eyebrows furrowing as you watch his breath stagger. 

"Yes. My wife is just being a pain in my ass, per usual." He grits through his teeth and you just nod, unsure of how to respond, your heart stammering at the mention of his wife- and how things appear to be rather rocky.

"I'm sorry if I caused you any trouble. I shouldn't have left class like that." 

He simply waved a hand of dismissal at you, a silent, forgiving act. 

A silence fell between the two of you briefly until an idea comes to your mind. 

"I don't know if this is weird, but could you text me what I missed in class today?" You ask shyly, not tearing your eyes away from the passing greenery. You secretly wanted his number for obvious reasons, but you also wanted him to send you a syllabus or anything to help you understand how he will be running the class, new teacher; new rules.

"Of course. I would prefer to discuss it in person but that isn't an option at the moment." He puts out a hand and you place your phone in his palm. He glances from your phone and to the road as he puts in his phone number.

That's probably inappropriate too. It isn't normal for a student to have a teachers phone number but then again, nothing about this moment was normal. 

You nod and flash him a small smile before looking back out the window to see that your house was coming up, and you see your car is in the driveway. 

"Oh." You accidentally mutter out loud when you uncovered that Poe was at your house already, most likely waiting to get ready for the party with you. 

"Who is that?" Kylo mutters curiously, eyeing Poe wearily who was waving at you from the porch. "Do you know him?" 

"Yes. Thank you for the ride." You smile sweetly at him when the car stops, and he cocks his head up, smirking.

"Anytime."

Your brain whirred at his words as you shut the car door behind you, does that mean he will give you a ride again? You can't help but get giddy as you wave to Kylo over your shoulder and make your way towards the porch. 

He doesn't pull out of the driveway until you enter the house, and he honks the horn goodbye as he drives away, and you watch out the window until his car is out of sight, a smile touching your lips.

What the hell.

Snap out of it. He's your teacher. He's just being friendly. That's all. 

"What the fuck was that all about?!" Poe exclaims, exchanging glances with you and the window. 

You were startled by his confrontation, you were hoping he wouldn't mention anything about what he just witnessed.

"Nothing." You mumble simply, looking down nervously at your feet. He was about to say something else when you held up a finger to stop him. 

"We have a party to get to!" You change the subject and chant excitedly, ready to loosen up and party after the long day. 

————

"Hurry up, the party started half an hour ago!" Poe yells at you from down the stairs, and you frantically slip in a pair of hoop earrings to top off the outfit Poe picked out for you. A tight and low cut, laced black shirt and shorts that basically went straight up your ass.

After you put on the earrings, you run frantically down the stairs and meet Poe by the door, and you both slip out of your house and into your car rapidly. 

It was around 8pm now, and you just realized you haven't checked your texts for the information today, but you wave it off, ready to get your party on as you drive a few blocks away from your house to the usual party spot- a massive house in the suburbs that belonged to a fellow classmate you couldn't even name.

"I'm ready to get so drunk." Poe says with a cheesy smile, and you nod with agreement. It's been a long time since you got shit faced and you were looking forward to it.

Once you arrive to the house, the loud music blares from the home and sends vibrations through the neighborhood, multiple people stepping out of there cars as well and entering the house.

Poe begins pumping his arms enthusiastically to the music while you walk together towards the huge house, and you chuckle.

The inside of the house was overflowing with other seniors who were celebrating the last-first day of school, taking shots and getting high in every corner of the room, and Poe leaves your side instantly to hit some random chicks blunt. 

You take yourself to the kitchen where the array of drinks were seen, and you pour yourself a whole solo cup full of vodka- it felt well deserved after the rather stressful day. 

You chug the whole cup and squeeze your lids shut as you consume the bitter taste, a few random kids hyping you up as you do so, and you laugh at the attention, quickly feeling drunk from the amount of alcohol you just consumed.

————

You couldn't even count how many drinks you've had now- you just knew your brain was fuzzy.

You were dancing with a random ass boy, grinding on him and cheering joyfully to the beats echoing through the crowded living room, colorful lights consuming everything.

The boys hand was gripping your bottom and you giggled then hiccuped, drunk out of your damn mind. You will not be able to manage school tomorrow morning. 

"Come upstairs with me," the boy whispers in your ear and all the fun was lost. You weren't looking for a random hookup.

You ease yourself away from the unnamed boy after he speaks and decide to seek out Poe, you were getting beyond sleepy and lightheaded and you were ready to go home.

You looked in every. Single. Room. He was nowhere to be found. You groan, too drunk and sick of the little hide and seek game and you pull out your phone to call him when you see a message from him that makes your blood boil. 

Took the car to hook up with some guy at his place. I promise I will come back and get you.

You palm yourself in the face, furious that he would take your car without permission. No way in hell he was coming back either. Now how were you going to get home? It was at least 1am now. All of your friends had already gone home, and you surely weren't going to call your parents. 

You scroll through your contacts, desperate for anybody you can call when you come across a contact in your blurred vision. Kylos contact. 

Fuck, are you really going to do this? 

You hesitate for a long time, debating on if you should bother him and ask him to help you, and you were about to forget about it when that same boy started heading in your direction, a devious smile on his face.

Nope. 

You sprint out the front door, avoiding the man altogether who you knew just wanted to fuck and go as you dialed Kylo. 

You bit your nails nervously as it rung once, twice- "Who is this?" His voice was groggy and full of sleepiness. 

You let out a breathe of relief since he answered. Thank god. 

"It's y/n. III have a s-slight problem." You slurred, nearly stumbling on the huge front porch of the house, which was covered in different couples slipping tongue. It was hard to hear him over the blaring music escaping the house. 

"What's wrong? Where are you?" His sleepy voice was laced with concern.

"A party, my friend took my car and l-left me here." You slurred again, your tongue dry and your eyes hardly able to open. 

Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse, that boy exited the front door, and you could tell he was coming straight for you. 

You weren't sure what it was about him, but something about him screamed predator and you began running again. "Hey, wait!" The boy shouts and you shriek as he starts hurdling in your direction. 

"What's happening?" Kylo asks frantically as he heard your scream. 

You were getting ready to reply, when the boy tackles you to the ground. He had your wrists pinned to the ground as he looked down at you and licked his lips. 

You squirmed beneath him, attempting to release yourself from his restraint. 

"Get off of me, asshole!" 

The boy grunts and tries to force his mouth on yours and you shimmy away from his mouth, grimacing at the nerve. 

"Stay where you are, I'm coming." Kylos voice echoes from your phone, and you feel a new wave of relief wash over you. You had no idea how he was going to find you, but that wasn't important. What was important was he was coming to get you, and that only fueled your tiny school girl crush for him even more.

You started growing impatient and furious underneath the disgusting man, and you knee him as hard as you can manage in the balls, and he winces and collapses to the grass. You stand up unsteadily, nearly toppling over and you feel nausea wash over you but you ignore it as you see car lights shining brightly in the distance, heading your way. 

That familiar black car speeds ungodly fast up to the curve, running over it and it stops abruptly, Kylo steps out of the drivers seat within a second of stopping the car. He was in sweats and a t-shirt, his hair disheveled and eye bags apparent. 

You run to the car as fast as your feet can carry you, which wasn't fast at all considering how you were about to black out at any given moment. 

Kylo opens the door for you and you slip yourself inside, your head feeling too heavy for you neck and limping to the side. It was getting harder and harder to keep your eyes open, fighting off the horny teenage boy was exhausting. 

You feel yourself being buckled in, then hear the car door slamming and the other one opening up. 

You felt like you were floating as the car sped away from the house. 

"What the hell is going on?" Kylo barked angrily, which you were expecting. You would be furious if a student woke you up in the middle of the night to pick them up. 

You hiccup, leaning your head against the back of the seat. "Drank. A lot." You click your tongue, lulling your head to the side and onto his bicep, still not opening your eyes. 

"Thank you for c-coming to get me." You hiccuped between your words, trying to smile at him. "I would have been getting raped in someone's yard right now if you didn't." You chuckle, too drunk to process how bad everything that's happening is, still slouched against his arm.

Silence.

"It isn't funny. You need to be careful. Be responsible." His tone was dark and serious, almost disappointed. 

"Let's go on an adventure." You mumble, completely disregarding his mini lecture. "Where are you taking me?" You ask as you look outside at the darkness consuming everything.

"Home. You have school tomorrow."

You groaned and whined, pouting. You crossed your arms over your chest and huffed, lazily leaning away from his arm and leaning it into the window instead. 

"You're drunk. You need to get some sleep when you get home, okay?" 

You begin to nod, when the nausea quickly comes back to you and overthrows your senses and you gag, covering your mouth. 

Kylo slams the breaks instantly, your body flying forward as your mouth threatens to spill out all of the alcohol you've accumulated throughout the night. 

You push open the door, attempting to get out but the seatbelt restrains you. You tug it off and run out the door until you reach a patch of grass. 

You began releasing everything that has built up inside you into someone's poor, unsuspecting yard. You heard a car door shut behind you, and before you know it you feel a large hand rubbing your back. 

You were too distracted with your own vomit to even react to his soft touch, and once you were finished Kylo gave you a moment before patting your back. 

"Come on, let's get you home."


	3. Test me Again

You awake to the warm sun pouring in through your window, and the sound of your phone buzzing and vibrating beside you.

You open your eyes slightly, and you realize your safe and sound in your own bed, your blankets engulfing you. 

You have no fucking clue how you ended up back here. You just knew you were an absolute idiot, calling your teacher to pick your drunk ass up. You couldn't remember anything from after you hurled in somebodies yard. 

You don't even attempt to sit up- your brain was foggy as a sharp pain nagged at your head. You're hungover. 

You groan sleepily, stretching before you reach for your phone and blink at it until you regain your sight- you're already three hours late for school. 

As much as you knew you should be jumping out of bed and fleeing the house, you couldn't. The pain in your head was like no other hangover you've ever had, you weren't sure if you would be able to get up if you tried. 

You also noticed while eyeing your phone there were multiple messages from different people, and you were too exhausted to care. 

You placed your phone back on the bed and curled up in a ball, allowing yourself to get comfortable once again. You weren't shocked neither of your parents awoke you this morning, as they both leave for work earlier than when you wake up for school anyways. 

You rolled around in your bed, the warm blankets making you grow tired once again as you plead to fall into a sleep once again just to to soothe the pain in your head.

————

You jolt awake to the sound of your ringer blasting on full volume, forgetting you fell asleep once again. 

You don't even look at the phone, you just grumble and groan as you answer the call, lazily holding up the phone to your ear, your head still in contact with your pillow.

"Hello?" 

Silence for a moment.

"Are you alright?" 

You knew that deep and husky voice. Kylo Ren. 

"I don't know." You mutter sleepily with a yawn. "What time is it?"

"Four in the evening."

You shot up from the bed, wincing at the massive headache you have. You hadn't meant to sleep that long. 

"Shit! I'm sorry, I missed your class again." You groan annoyingly with yourself. You should've atleast made an effort to show up to his class. 

You suddenly remember his words to you last night- be responsible. You were certainly coming off as an animalistic child to him right now, a complete disaster who can't even show up to class on the second day of school. 

You're a train wreck. 

"I expect to see you tomorrow." He sounded pissed, and just as he said, he sounded expectant. His tone a warning, not a choice. 

"Yes, sir." You mutter, and then he hung up on you without exchanging another word. Shit. You were showing up tomorrow no matter what- even if he randomly chose to get you suspended for drinking underaged or something.

You take your time rolling out of bed, trying to make the transition as least painful as possible. 

Your feet immediately take you downstairs and to the kitchen, and you fill yourself up a glass of water and chug it relentlessly. Your throat was extremely dry from the amount of alcohol you had the night before. 

You couldn't lie- you were almost afraid to see how Ren would handle you after what happened last night. He sounded beyond angry on the phone, and you've seen him mad once, and just witnessing it was frightening itself.

You decided to text him and ask about both things you missed now, hoping to show you atleast have some dedication and authority.

Can you send everything I've missed?

You send the message and wait patiently for a response.

You run yourself a hot bath, planning to relax for the rest of the evening, taking things easily, and once you had yourself settled in the scolding hot water your phone buzzed.

You sat up out of the water, drying your hands off lazily before scooping up your phone in your hand and finding that Ren replied.

No. We will talk about this tomorrow.

Oh great fucking job. 

Now he was really pissed, you're sure he'll hate you for the rest of the year now. Just fantastic.  
You could tell it wasn't a discussion to be had, and you just sigh while throwing your phone back down on the toilet seat, not responding.

You're in deep shit, you're sure of it.

————

Your whole body was overtaken by trembles as you make your way over to the photography classroom. It was before school hours once again, you didn't want to be lectured by Ren in front of the whole class, so you came early.

You fidget with your fingers nervously as you approach the door, refusing to open it for a solid five minutes. Staring at the oak wood of the door.

You take a deep, calming breath and push the door open, only to see Ren standing with his arms crossing his chest and his face stone cold, as if he was expecting you. 

He was still overly flattering- even with the dark under eye bags that you were the source of. 

You opened your mouth to speak, but he shook his head and began taking slow, methodical steps towards you, and you closed the door. Your body tensed up and you subconsciously began backing away the closer he got. 

And just like that, your back collided with the door you had entered through. You swallow thickly as he approaches you, so close to you. His body was basically pressing into yours now.

You look down to the ground as your cheeks heat up, he places one hand on the side of your head on the door, and his other pinches your chin, forcing you to look up at his dark eyes, gleaming with wickedness.

You couldn't help the desire that flowed through you freely- his beautiful face and eyes consuming yours as he has you trapped against the door.

"Did you know that skipping class comes with consequences?" His voice was low, seductive even.

Your body shivers at his intense stare, and your only response was nodding weakly. His hand found its way along your jaw, brushing gently and down to your throat. He gripped it firmly in his hands, nearly cutting off your air supply.

There was no fucking way this was happening, and there was no way you were enjoying it.

"You deserve to be punished." He squeezes around your throat harder one last time before he lets you go altogether, taking a few steps back as he watched your breath falter in your chest. 

His words made fresh goosebumps bubble on your skin and you swallow the lump forming in your throat as you try your best to meet his gaze. Shit. 

You wanted to be punished. You wanted him to punish you. 

"But we don't have time for that. Now explain to me everything that happened last night."

He sounded intrigued and curious, and instead of responding to him you simply shrugged, breaking the intense eye contact. You didn't respond. 

"That's how it's going to be, hm?"

You shrugged again. You fought off the devious smile that was threatening to form on your lips, and the wetness beginning to pool in your panties.

"I see. I know what you want." He teases, a smirk ghosting his lips.

"You do?" 

He nods, then huffs with amusement.   
"And I'm not going to give it to you. We have a lot to talk about." 

He marches over to his desk and slowly sits down in his chair, his eyes still on you. He cocks his head towards the chair he had pulled up to his desk. "Sit." He commanded, and you obliged.

You plopped yourself down on the chair, looking around the room anxiously, your heart was threatening to beat out of your chest after what happened. You couldn't deny how badly you were craving him- his large hands. And if you weren't already before, when you first laid eyes on him, you definitely were now. 

He began rambling about something that you completely tuned out, zoned out on a large photo on the wall. You were too busy trying to drown out your arrousel to listen to whatever he had to say. 

A loud slam on his desk snapped you out of your trance and you jolted at the sound to see Kylo with his fist clenched against the desk, his eyes burning holes in yours. 

"Do you ever listen?" He growled, and you nodded pathetically. There's that familiar anger. 

"You're lucky that I don't report the events that took place last night to the school counsel."

You gasp, flashing him a glare from the corner of your eyes. "You wouldn't."

"Test me again and I will not hesitate." He shoves a folder in your hand and stands up abruptly, brushing past your sitting figure and heading straight to the door. He opened it up and waited expectantly for you to leave. 

You frowned, rather offended by how much of an asshole he could be. You saw him get angry yesterday, sure. But this man was different than the one that greeted you kindly and helped you home yesterday. 

You don't even look at his face again, you storm out of the room with the folder he gave you clutched tightly to your chest. You were certainly going to be in a bad mood today.

————

You couldn't stop replaying the scenes of this morning inside of your head. The way he turned dominant on you, threatened you. It was all overwhelming in the most perfect ways. 

But of course, you wanted more. 

You're skipping his class today. 

You weren't missing much anyways, the only thing you could possibly miss out on was being scolded, so you took the risk of skipping class once again, overly aware of the consequences. 

Seventh period was your last class of the day and it was physics, a class you've retaken since sophomore year because you seem to keep failing it, so you don't even bother showing up to the class either. It was senior year after all, nobody cares much about what you do. 

You get a pass from the office to take leave in the middle of sixth period, acting as if you were PMSing, and head out to your car when your phone vibrated. 

A text. From Ren. 

Oh?

That was all it read. Your eyes widen and you freeze in your spot briefly, before shaking out the fear that crawled it's way into you and pulling out of the student parking lot. 

Once you got home, you allowed yourself to drink a few glasses of your parents luxury wine, regretting drinking again so soon after you feel yourself get a bit tipsy. You were getting comfortable on the couch, a glass of wine in hand when an idea comes to mind. You take a picture of your wine and your legs spreaded on the couch, suggesting that your relaxing at home during Kylos class.

And you sent it.

Oh. You mock after the picture. 

You chuckled to yourself as you chugged down the remainder of wine, cleaning up any remnants of your drinking so your parents wouldn't know. And then you hear your phone vibrate on the couch as you finished up with the dishes. 

Your breath hitches in your throat as you expect a response from Kylo, but instead it was a message from Poe. 

Where are you? You haven't spoke to me since the night of the party. I'm sorry, okay? Can you just call me?

You roll your eyes as you read over the text, and you don't even bother to respond. If he wouldn't have left you in the first place none of the things between you and Kylo would've went down, and you weren't sure if that was a blessing or a curse.

And as if on cue, your phone rings. 

You decided not to even check who it was or answer for that matter. You weren't positive who exactly it was, but you knew you didn't want to talk to them. 

You continued cleaning up the kitchen when your phone rung, again. 

You exhale loudly, brushing past the counter and picking up your phone from the couch only to see it was your mother calling. Oops.

"Hello?"

"Where are you? The school just called and requested you meet with them after school hours!" 

Your heart paused in your chest. "Um, what? Why?" 

"Don't play dumb young lady. They say you've been skipping photography."

That fucker.


	4. You owe me an Apology

Your blood was boiling with anger as you panted furiously, slamming your car door shut as you stomp towards the school building. 

He really did report you. You truly couldn't believe it, you were feeling unforgiving at this moment and you weren't sure if it was the wine or because you're genuinely flustered. 

That's another thing- showing up tipsy to a meeting with the principal does not look good for you. Things were going swell. 

You make your way towards the principals office, brain buzzing with different excuses you can make for why you haven't been to class. 

You knock on the door to the office, only to hear that gut wrenching, female voice call for you to come in. 

You hated this bitch, and it was going to be near impossible to keep a reluctant face as she positively will beat you down to the bone. 

"Hello, y/n. I'm assuming you know why we're gathering here?" You flash her a revolted look, before you eyes lock on Rens. You had no idea he would be here to. 

You didn't realize you were just staring there snarling at him until Miss Hunt, the principal, clears her throat and gestures towards the seat next to Ren. "Take a seat."

You break eye contact with Ren and look at her, your face and neck were growing red from how pissed off you were. It wasn't fair. 

"No, actually. I don't know why I'm here."

She laughs a humorless laugh, glancing between you and Kylo who are both staring at her with a blank face. "Go ahead. Tell her why she's here." 

Ren sighs and turns his body towards you, and you keep your eyes straight ahead. Refusing to make eye contact with him. You were angry- and a small part of you wanted to just tell the principal everything that happened today, knowing he would get in huge trouble too. But you couldn't do it. Unlike him, you would never snitch. 

"She knows very well why we're here." 

You scoff, crossing your arms over your chest and finally turning to face him. "Fuck off."

He looked taken a back by your words, his eyes widening and he darts his eyes to you and the principal, whose jaw is dropped to the floor. Oops. 

"That isn't appropriate. Take responsibility for your actions and apologize to Mr. Ren right this instant." 

You sighed defeatedly, sure you'll admit that you skipped class. Not a problem. But there was not a chance that you would be apologizing to him. 

"I skipped class, simple as that. That's what you wanted to hear, so I'm done here." You push yourself out of your chair, ignoring Miss Hunt who was frantically yelling at you to sit back down, and your eyes flicker to Ren, who had his pokerface plastered on.

This was your senior year, and you weren't taking shit from anyone again, regardless of their authority over you. You did what you were told, and you were finished. 

You exit the room without another word, and you were beginning to head towards the door that lead the the school parking lot, when someone snatched your wrist.

"Ow-" You were yanked into the janitors closet, and one of those large hands clasped your mouth. Ren. 

His eyes were lust filled, his breathing frantic as he looks down at you, your eyes wide and pleading silently. You were pissed off with him, yes. And you still wanted him. 

He slowly removed his hand from your mouth, "What the fuck-" Your whisper yell gets cut off by your teachers tongue thrusting into your mouth, and the shock of it all only lasted a moment until you moved your tongue in rhythm with his, both of his hands cupping your cheeks and yours placed on his chest. 

The kiss was fierce, passionate- and it didn't last as long as you had hoped when he pulled away from you with a smack and pushed you to your knees. 

He began fuddling with his belt and you knew exactly what was going down and you didn't bother to protest, you were hungry for him. You were anticipating it.

He grunts as he releases his belt and allows it to clatter to the floor, before he unzips his pants, his throbbing length breaking free. 

Your mouth begins watering as you watch him stroke himself gently, you were desperate for him in this moment. You didn't care that you were in public. 

"You want this?" His voice was low and taunting. You nodded eagerly, wetting your bottom lip.

"Yes."

"I think you owe me an apology first." 

Your eyes finally break free from his hardened cock and meet his, a smugness consuming him. You swallow your pride, not caring if you have to apologize to get what you want. 

"I'm sorry." You mumble, and he leans forward and snatches your jaw roughly in his hands at your weak response. "I'm sorry, sir." You correct yourself, speaking louder. 

"Good girl. Now beg for it." Shivers went up your spine, and you nodded, keeping your doe eyes on his.

"Please, sir. Can I have your cock." 

He grunts at your words and without warning, rams his massive length down your throat and begins pounding recklessly into you. 

You whimper while dropping your jaw open to take all of him, your gaze unbreaking from his as you accommodate his length in your throat. 

He groans as he sinks into your throat rapidly, causing you to choke and gag, tears welling up in your eyes and your cheeks growing red from the force of his thrusts. 

"Apologize to me again." He grunts and pulls out of your mouth briefly, slapping your face with his saliva covered cock. "I'm really sorry, sir." You whine, pressing your thighs together for friction in between your legs. 

He thrusts into you again, his hips snapping against your face while he takes a handful of your hair in his hands, guiding you closer into his pelvis as you bob your head and moan against him. 

"This is your lesson for being a very bad girl, do you understand?"

You nod against his throbbing length, whining as your jaw starts growing sore and you're vision is growing blurry with tears as you attempt to maintain eye contact. 

The pain and pleasurable mix didn't last much longer- for he releases his cock from your mouth, your lips sucking the tip and he seethes as he pulls it out of your mouth completely, 

"Open." He demands and you oblige, opening your mouth wide and sticking your tongue out as hot spurts of white shoot out from his cock and into your mouth, on your clothes and surely all over the janitors closet. 

"Clean this up." He commands, pointing to the liquid dripping off of him. You hum with content, licking the remains of the cum off of his length and swallowing. "Fuck." He moans, massaging his fingers through your hair, his wedding ring getting caught in a few strands as you clean up the mess. 

You couldn't believe that just happened. In the school, with your married teacher. You loved every fucking second of it, you breathed the passionate air around you, taking in the moment. 

You were aching for your own release badly as you stood up wobbly, your panties soaked to the point it was dripping down your exposed leg. 

Ren notices the gleam of your wetness on your thighs as he tucks himself away and smirks wickedly, and he drops to his knees and maintains eye contact with you while licking a stripe up your thigh, his hands firmly on your ass, collecting your wetness on his tongue. You shivered at the sensation, and he stood up while gathering his belt. 

————

You were unbalanced as you walked to your car, lightheaded from the power Ren had just held on you. 

You were too consumed in the lust you feel for him to think too much about the situation before- it was dangerous and you realize that now. The sad part being that you are willing to risk it all just for that to happen again. 

Being caught could jeaporodize both of your futures, specifically his. He would be fired and never manage to find another job that will take him. Neither of you seemed to care.

You get inside your car and fumble with the car keys, the engine making an awful rattling sound and refusing to start. 

"Shit," You groan out loud, slouching into the seat defeatedly. Now you had absolutely no way home. You were eager to get back so you could clean yourself up. Your makeup was surely smudged, your cheeks were rosy and tear stained, and there were remnants of dry cum patches everywhere.

You slumped back in your seat, sighing loudly, when you see Ren getting ready to step into his Porsche from a distance, his phone up to his ear. 

Well. You don't have any other options. 

You slam your car door shut and lock it, trudging towards the Porsche in the distance, planning to call somebody to tow your car later. 

You approach him rather discreetly, afraid he'll get upset you interrupted his phone call. He was leaning against his shiny black car, a cigarette dangling from his mouth as frantic yelling blistered from his phone. 

He rolls his eyes to the sound, not even realizing you were there yet. You snap your fingers to get his attention, not wanting to talk when he's on the phone and he snaps his head to look at you. He tilts his head, silently asking you what you want while taking a hit of his cigarette.

You didn't respond, still not wanting to interrupt the phone call and he sighs. "I'll call you back." He hangs up without another word.

"Um, my car broke down. Can you give me a ride?" 

Things definitely felt different between the two of you now. Sexual tension was lingering in the air around you both, making you feel as if you're in your own world together. 

Even thought that's certainly not the case. You gasp to yourself as you catch his wedding ring with your eyes, suddenly remembering he is a married man, which you were aware of the whole time, except you seemed to be trapped in a haze in the janitors closet. 

Your heart pounds in your chest, you can't take your eyes off of the ring. You feel terrible. Not only because of his wife, because you loved every minute of it and didn't regret it, even after knowing he was married. 

You were disgusted with yourself. 

"Sure." His response was simple, a slight edge to his voice and you weren't sure if it was because he was annoyed with you or because of the phone call. 

He opened the car door for you, allowing you to hop in and close the door as he got in his side of the car.

You were almost home now, and you haven't spoke a word to each other. You haven't even looked in his direction until now, and your eyes instantly go to the wedding ring. 

You frown, and clear your throat, words were begging to be released from your mouth but you refused to let them. You had so many questions and things you wanted to say.

"Kylo?"

"Hm?"

"Y-you're married I-"

His head snapped to look at you, his eyes once again dark and deadly. You cowered a bit, shifting in the seat uncomfortably. 

He didn't respond and you don't bother mentioning anything again. His jaw clenched tightly and he looked back to the road, refusing to look back to you the whole way home. 

He pulls into your driveway, obviously flying like the maniac he is and stops by the porch. You open the car door and allow yourself out, and just when you were about to thank him he leaned over and pulled the door shut for you, and zoomed away without another word. 

Not a goodbye, nothing. 

You really fucked up. Again.


	5. Tough to Handle

The past week had gone by in the blink of an eye. 

You started showing up to photography class, you have the principal to thank for that, but Ren hasn't even acknowledged you in that week, not even bothering to look your way. 

It was a Friday and you had to arrive early for school anyways to pick up a canvas your art teacher had prepared for you, so you decided to pop into the photography room and see if he was there. 

You heard a sound echo out of the room as you were approaching- it sounded like a moan. You stilled as the sound rung in your ear. You thought you were hearing things and you reached for the doorknob when you heard it again. 

You froze for the second time. 

"Fuck," You hear Kylo moan, and your heart drops to your feet. He's with somebody else. 

You had no right to be upset. He was married and you weren't in no means a couple. But you were raging. The air puffing out of your nose felt like steam, your hand was clutching the door knob so hard your knuckles turned white.

You busted the door open, your teeth gritted angerily, expecting to see a random girl hoisted up on his desk, only to uncover he was all alone.

He looked up to you wide eyed, his cock free from his cargo pants, his hand paused mid stroke around it- your school photo in his other hand. 

You were too relieved to acknowledge the fact he was masturbating to a photo of you. You stormed in that room prepared for murder, and you were startled with yourself over how angry you got. 

A grunt snaps you back in reality, and his eyes were trained on your body as he continued stroking his length roughly, a smacking sound erupting through the room. 

You eyed him down eagerly as you shut the door and lock it behind you.

You shivered as he watched over you precisely, groans leaving his throat as he leans back in his chair and pumps himself. 

"Come here." He groans through thrusts into his hand, and you oblige without question, your panties already soaked from the sight. 

You sit in the chair which was straight a crossed from him, only a few feet away and facing him directly. 

He pants and cocks his head towards you. "Touch yourself." 

You whine just from his words- nodding frantically, spreading your legs and dipping a hand into your pants without hesitation, both of you playing with yourselves as you stare into each other's eyes. 

Your moans and whimpers match his groans and grunts. "I've been waiting to see you like this again." He growls through his teeth, keeping his eyes on yours as he gets closer to his climax.

You arch your back, his words make your moans quake and your legs begin to shake- just when you hear a knock on the door. 

Both of you freeze completely, not moving a muscle. Fuck. The knock comes again. 

"Honey? I brought you breakfast." A muffled female voice came from behind the door. You still couldn't move. It was his wife. Kylo cursed under his breath and sprung up from the seat, quickly tucking himself away and moving towards the door. 

You pull your hand out of your panties and wipe your wetness on your leggings, you were still in a daze from your anticipated high. You were longing for the moment to rekindle with Kylo. 

He opens the door and allows his wife in, the smell of coffee flooding your nostrils. You refused to turn around and meet her face. You sat in the chair awkwardly and stared at the whiteboard, pretending to read the notes displayed. 

"Y/N." His voice came, a warning. You were being sketchy. 

You turned slowly to meet them, his hand rubbing her shoulder and she gives you a sincere smile. You wanted to be sick. She was sweet. 

"This is my wife, Julia." He introduces her to you and you plaster a fake smile on your face which felt unconvincing- your cheeks burned red and your eyebrows involuntarily furrowed as you smile at her. 

She waved and placed coffee and a box of donuts on his desk, turning back to Kylo and placing a kiss on his lips. 

You had to turn away. You couldn't watch. Not only because it made you feel guilty, because it made you jealous. Those were the same lips that have praised you.

You exhale obnoxiously and look down at your phone, seeking out any sort of distraction from the pain you were feeling watching them, forbidden tears welling up in your eyes.

"This is one of my students, she's a tough one to handle." He says and you can hear his smirk, and she chuckles in response. You don't turn to look at them. You can't. His words about you ringing in your ear. You were surely a pain in his ass more than he claimed his wife to be.

Their relationship appeared stable to you in this moment- your brain temporarily neglecting the multiple fights you've overheard. You felt like you were ruining a couple that could still be salvaged.

You noticed you feel possessed by him whenever he is around. You lose all self control, forgetting that what your doing is way out of line and awful. Meeting his wife made things a thousand times harder. You felt sorry for her, but you knew you wouldn't stop thinking about Kylo the way you do.

"She seems sweet, give her a break." She said defensively, and a tear trickles down your cheek as you hear her words. You can't do this to her. You are not sweet, your a feral home wrecker. 

You sniffle, trying to cover it with a cough as if your coming down with something. "I'm not feeling too well. I'm going to go, thanks for the extra help Mr. Ren." You lied, pushing yourself off of the chair and wiping off your tear with your sleeve as you push yourself past them and towards the door, not looking at either of them.

"Wait." 

You stilled by the door, your hand placed on the oak as you looked over your shoulder at Kylo, who had his lips parted and eyebrows furrowed as he watched you prepare to leave.

Another tear rolled down your cheek and you brushed it off instantly. He stared at you in silence for a moment, his wife watching everything happen unknowingly. 

He clears his throat and breaks his gaze from you and sets it to the floor, turning to his wife. "We have a new assignment on Monday." He muttered, useless information he already informed your whole class multiple times about throughout the week. 

You just nod and flash them a sad smile, turning for the door and leaving without another word. 

————

Tonight, your ex boyfriend was hosting a birthday for his little sister. And as much as you didn't want to go- his little sister always loved you, and you loved her and always will. She was your sidekick while the two of you were together, so you sorrowfully accepted the invitation. 

This will be your first time seeing him since the breakup- which was a few months ago, and you knew how dreadful the night would be, but you'll go just for his sisters sake. 

He had a caring family, the opposite of him, and you told yourself that you would be fine as long as you keep a distance away from him himself. 

You tug on a flowy, flower printed sundress, curled your hair and did your makeup naturally- trying to cover up the sorrow you were feeling. You didn't want to go at all, but it was a distraction from the morning you had. 

Anyways, your parents were away on a business trip- two weeks- and you needed to go somewhere soon so you wouldn't grow too lonely. 

You were finishing everything off, slipping on a pair of sandals and adding some jewelry, when your phone begins ringing. You let it sit for a moment, continuing your accessorizing and when you look at your phone, it was Ren.

You do the right thing and ignore it. As much as you want to pick up the phone, you won't. What happened between you was a mistake and it shouldn't happen again. 

————

The birthday party went surprisingly well, your ex barely muttered a word to you the whole time and you were thankful for that. 

Things went smoothly and you had a fun time revisiting his family, his mother and sister were exceedingly happy to see you and you were glad. It was nice getting to check up on them after everything that happened. 

You bid your goodbyes to everyone at the party once all the kids had a sugar crash from the excessive amounts of cake and made your way to your car which had been repaired, checking your phone for the first time that whole night since you left the house. 

What happened? Are you alright? Mr. Ren came up to me at school today and asked if you were doing okay.

A message reads from Poe, and you simply roll your eyes and type a response. 

I'm fine. 

You weren't in the mood to deal with any of the drama that you've seemed to have gotten yourself into. You should've known things weren't going to be easy with Ren.

Half of you blames Ren for even cheating on his wife in the first place, the other half blaming yourself. You allowed him to do it to you- and you were fully aware he was married.

You aren't angry at him, and your sadly still longing for him, but you know it's better for the both of you to keep a strictly professional relationship from now on. Enough damage has been done and you don't need to create anymore. 

————

The weekend came and went quickly per usual, you spent the whole time being lazy at home. You ignored most of your friends calls and texts- simply enjoying the alone time. 

When Monday rolled around, you certainly weren't prepared for school. You drank a whole bottle of your parents liquor the night before, and you were still slightly drunk as well as hungover when you woke up in the morning. 

You may or may not have a drinking problem. 

You didn't bother stopping by Rens room in the morning like you usually do, you were maintaining a distance the best you could. The less you had to be around him, the easier it would be to forget anything ever happened, even though you were dying to visit him.

Your head was pounding the entire day, and it was a struggle to keep your head up during classes. You drank as much water as possible but nothing seemed to help. 

Dreadfully, the bell dismissing everybody to sixth period rings. You weren't looking forward to it, and it saddens you to know that this situation has changed the way you feel about your favorite class. 

You stumble in the room quietly, bowing your head down low and watching the floor pass beneath your feet, trying as hard as possible not to look at Ren. You were afraid the desire for him would come back like a wave the second you locked eyes with him. 

You swallowed thickly and began pulling out your folder from your bag, and you can feel his eyes searing through your skin as he stands in his usual spot in front of the whiteboard. 

Don't. Look. 

You looked. 

His dark eyes were consuming you, his face remaining blank as he stared you down. You got lost in his gaze for a moment until you came to your senses and broke contact, looking out the window to see the slim trees sway slightly with the breeze. 

The bell rung that indicates class has begun, and you kept your eyes trained outside as everybody got situated. 

Kylo clears his throat obnoxiously, trying to get the class which was loud with people talking to pay attention to him, and he clapped his hands in front of his chest and held them there. 

"I'll wait until I have everybody's attention."  
You could still feel his gaze locked on you and you knew what he was getting at, but you only propped your head up on your hand and continued staring at the nature surrounding the building. 

You hear him taking slow, methodical steps closer and closer to you, and he stops right in front of your field of vision, blocking the window from your sight, his massive frame impossible to look around. 

You sigh, roll your eyes and turn the opposite way. Of course he was going to pick on you in front of everybody. 

He taps his pen on the table right in front of you, and you keep your eyes fixated on a random photo in the room, not giving in. 

He finally sighs loudly and gives up, strutting away from you and back to his spot in front of the whiteboard and you let out a breath you hadn't meant to hold in. 

"Our first project of this school year is as simple as an assignment can get." He begins, eyeing around the classroom. 

"I want you to capture a photo of anything, anything at all, that you wish other people would appreciate. Something that you find captivating that not many other people do."

He takes steps towards you again as he speaks with his heart about the assignment, and this time you meet his gaze. It was dark and terrifying- replicating the deepest depths of the sea. He got closer to you and stopped in front of you once again. 

"This is everyone's first time taking photography in here, except for our little y/n/y/l here." He chuckles deeply and pats you on the head, walking back to his spot again. 

Your cheeks turned bright red as everybody turns to look at you, murmurs and whispers echoing from different people. 

"Would you like to demonstrate proper photo taking skills to the class?" He tilts his head at you, a devious smirk on his lips. 

This fucker. 

"No, but thanks for the offer. I'm sure you could demonstrate with all those dick pics you take though." You give him a taunting smile, narrowing your eyes at him as the class laughs hysterically. 

Kylo froze but only for a second, before he inhaled sharply, leaning back against the whiteboard and crossing his arms over his chest. 

He gave you this look- a terrifying, warning look only you understood. That was not a smart move, and the longer the class laughs the longer fear creeps it's way inside of you. 

He gestures with his hands for everyone to quiet down, an unamused smile touching his lips. "Maybe you should try taking drama instead of photography."

You're already taking drama. But you weren't going to say that because that'll only prove his point. "Maybe I will. Maybe I'll just graduate and take your position. I would be a way better teacher than you anyways." 

The classes laughter only grew harder at your comeback- and little did they know how personal the words you two were exchanging were. None of it was a joke. It was a real, bitter argument that appeared comical with the way you mused sarcastically. 

His jaw locked as he stared blankly at the floor, his anger radiating off of him and straight to you. You made a mistake.

No words were exchanged between the two of you for the rest of the class. He didn't even look at you anymore. You knew you pushed him to the limit, and when the bell finally rings you let out a breath of relief. 

Everybody started rushing out of the room to get to their last class of the day and so were you until Kylos voice broke through the loud sound of the class dispersing. 

"Y/N. You'll be staying with me after class."

You freeze in the middle of the classroom, your bag hanging off of your shoulders and you close your eyes, exhaling loudly. 

"Yikes. Good luck." A kid jokes as he looks back to you and Kylo who were now having a stare off. 

"I would never hurt a student." Kylo says seriously towards the student, and the kid walks out of the room with a chuckle, the door closing behind him and leaving the two of you alone.

"But I'll make an exception for you."


	6. You aren’t superior to Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight dub-con in this chapter— remember that consent is always key in any real life scenario!**

Your heart was racing unsteadily, and only about three seconds after the words escaped his lips, he pounced. 

Just like that, you were pinned to the brick wall behind you, one of his hands holding your wrists down above your head, his other squeezing your throat to the point you thought a blood vessel was going to pop. His lips attacked yours viciously, and you whimpered breathlessly into his mouth as his growing, clothed, length grinds into you. 

Fuck it. You want him. In a matter of seconds your mantra is gone, all worry and stress you had previously about your incidents with Ren were chucked out the window. 

"You're so fucking bad. So naughty." He growls furiously against your lips, the only response you could form were raspy whines, your airway being nearly completely cut off. 

"Apologize." 

His restraint on your neck loosens a bit, just enough so you could respond to him. 

"I'm sorry, sir." 

"There we go." He begins, tilting your head to the side swiftly and placing sloppy kisses along your neck, his hand still squeezing one side. 

His hand left your throat and glided up to your mouth, and he roughly thrusted two fingers passed your lips, pressing down firmly on your tongue and causing you to gag. 

You were soaking, your pants sticking to your legs from the wetness. He temporarily removed his hands from your wrist which you didn't even try to move as he thrusted his fingers into your mouth, making you grow needier for him by the second, and he removes his belt with one hand- not removing his mouth from the sweet spot on your skin. 

His fingers leave your mouth and you whine as he uses a knee to spin you around, now chest first with the wall. His hands tugged your wrists behind your back, and he grunted impatiently as he tied your hands together using his belt. 

You were growing anxious, you weren't sure how much longer you could wait for him. He pulled down your pants enough to expose your ass, one of his hands snaking it's way down the front of your pants, and you moan as he begins rubbing slow, torturous circles into your clit, his breathe ragid in your ear as he pressed against you. 

Suddenly, when you were preparing yourself to beg for him, a large hand forcefully collided with your ass and you moan at the painful but pleasurable collision. 

"I want you to count for me. That's for thinking you can be a little bitch to me in front of everybody." He groans angrily into your ear, and you whimper and squirm beneath him.

"One." You whisper softly, your mouth unable to form words as he rubs his rough fingers into you.

Another harsh smack, your tender skin buzzing and tingling, you shout out. 

"That's for thinking your superior to me. That your better than me." 

You whimper in response, unable to form words as he begins rubbing you faster and faster, your climax slowly approaching. 

He spanks you again, harder than all the other times. 

"I thought I told you to count for me." 

You swallow thickly, biting back a moan. "T-three."

"Tell me what you want me to do to you." He brings his fingers off of your clit and you shudder at the lack of his touch, only for him to tug your pants fully down and to your ankles.

"I... I want you to-" You begin, but he cuts you off by using his free hand to shove your head against the wall, your cheek squishing against the cold bricks, his hand holding your head there, his fingers kneading roughly through your hair. 

"If you ever speak to me like that again, I won't hesitate to take you right there in front of the whole class." He growls, yanking your head back by your hair, not allowing you to finish speaking and you nod swiftly. 

"I'll make sure everyone knows your my little girl. That your dirty fucking mouth belongs to me." He uses his other hand to pinch your jaw hard enough to leave a bruise, before the same hand leaves your face and finds the panty line of your underwear. 

His words drove you wild- you were his, and you fucking loved it. You wanted to be his little girl.

His fingers graze your soaking folds and you jolt forward, biting your lip to conceal the moans that were threatening to spill from your lips, his long fingers using your wetness to tease your entrance. 

"Mm. Wet all for me." He grumbles appreciatively, bringing his fingers that were coated in your juices and licking them off, before he eases those fingers into you, using two to pound into your aching sex. 

"Yes!" You cry out, thankful he finally inserted you, pants leaving your body as he continued pulling your hair back and plowing his fingers inside of you. 

He curled them and began hitting the perfect spot and you moaned freely, his hand in your hair snapping your neck towards him so his lips can tackle yours, muffling your moans as his thumb begins circling your clit, his fingers continuously sliding in and out of you. 

You were so close, on the verge of cumming, when his fingers suddenly leave you altogether and you scream in protest, your wrists wiggling in the restraint as you wish you could touch yourself. 

He snickers and you heard the sound of his zipper, and before you could even think too much about it his free hand that wasn't tangled in your hair found your hip, gripping it roughly and he slid his cock into you with one full thrust. 

Your moan cracks as it escapes your lips, the slight burn turning into pleasure as your wetness coats his massive length while it pounds into you relentlessly. 

You were in a daze, overwhelmed by how amazing it felt for him to thrust roughly into you at a rapid speed, his grunts were quiet and barely noticeable. 

"From now on you ask my permission whenever you want to cum. I don't care where you are. If your touching yourself and you think you're gonna cum, you better fucking call me first."

You nod frantically as his words made you moan louder and his hand yanked your hair back so hard to the point you heard your neck crack, and he nibbles on your earlobe gently before breathing into it, panting.

"Quiet the fuck down. Unless you want everyone in this building to know who gets to fuck you like this." He whispers harshly in your ear and you purse your lips, your moans coming out as muffled whimpers. 

God, you wanted him more than anything in the universe. You didn't care what the circumstances were, or how things had to be. You wanted everyone to know that you got to have him this way. 

His hand on your hip snakes down to your clit and he rubs circles into you once again, and that's enough to nearly draw you all the way to the edge. 

"P-please I need to cum!" 

He rubs into you faster and it's getting nearly impossible for you to hang on as the tip of his cock felt as if it were pounding into your chest. 

"Cum, little girl." 

You clench and spasm around him, your toes curling and your mouth popped open and moans that matched with his rapid thrusts left your lips, reaching your climax.

"Fuck! You're mine." He groans as he finds his only a few seconds after you, his seed pumping deep inside of you. You mewl in response and you both catch your breathes for a moment, and right on perfect timing, you hear a knock on the door. 

Kylo didn't pay any mind to it, he scooped up the cum dripping down your legs and put in front of your face, you swirl your tongue around it and clean off his fingers, obeying his silent order.

You were panting rapidly, your legs shaking beneath you as sweat pools on every crevice of both of your skin. Kylo pulls up your underwear and pants for you, giving your ass a pat once he had your pants on fully. 

He tucked himself away and removed the restraint from your wrists, placing his belt back on as your rub the spots on your wrist that were slightly blemishing. 

That was... perfect. 

Your ass was tingling still from where he spanked you, your throat was surely covered in hickeys and you were one hundred percent positive there was drool all over your face. 

The knock came again, loud and impatient this time and you try your best to make yourself look presentable as Kylo walks over to the door and opens it, his chest heaving and sweat glistening on his forehead as a random student stood on the other side of the door. 

"Sorry, sir. I forgot my folder last period." The kid mumbles and Kylo holds the door open for the kid, allowing him in so he can pick up his materials he left. 

The kid stared at you for a few seconds and you just smiled awkwardly and gave him a small wave. The kid doesn't say another word to the two of you, and he steps out of the room with his folder in hand, nodding goodbye to Ren. 

You exhale with relief when the kid leaves and the door shuts behind him. You wobble over to your backpack which was in the middle of the floor, and slump it lazily over your shoulder. Your inner thighs were aching outrageously. 

He was massive. 

"Don't forget about the assignment." He nods curtly toward you and you nod back, both of you coming back to the sad reality of the real word. 

You headed for the door, not sure what to say, your brain was still muffled after your rough climax. 

"I will see you tomorrow." He states, and you flash him a small smile over your shoulder. "See ya." 

As you marched towards your car, you replay all of the things he said to you as he fucked you like no other. His possessive statements were intoxicating, you wanted it all- everything he said, even if he only meant it in the cloud of ecstasy— but little did you know there was way more to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get used to the Sackler references... there are a shit ton, lmao.


	7. Blurred with Intoxication

You were full of mixed emotions- the dominant emotion being content. Regardless of how guilty you felt, you couldn't bring yourself to want to stop the madness you've created upon yourself. To make things right.

For the sake of your humanity, you wished you could stop craving your teacher. The teacher you know absolutely nothing about, but after being claimed by him, you feel a new type of attached. 

You can't deny the anguish you feel after you leave the scenes of intimacy, the forbidden act places a heavy rock on your chest, a crushing boulder even.

You promised yourself you wouldn't cry over it again, and you failed miserably. 

You wanted to be his 'little girl', you wanted him to take control over you- which he has so simply before- but you don't know if you'll be able to handle all the guilt and shame you feel once the adrenaline fully leaves your body. 

After crying for hours and hours on your bedroom floor that evening, a couple of ideas come to mind. The first and foremost being; confronting Ren. 

You can't let this go on any further without audibly understanding the risks you're taking. He's a responsible man and your trusting him to make the right decision for you, even though you shouldn't consider anyone but yourself liable. 

The second idea had nothing to do with Ren, but just photography in general. He described the first assignment for the class as a personal piece- an admirable thing, and you were coming up with many different options for what you wanted to photograph. 

Once you narrowed your long list of options down, you chose to go down the creative road. You had a plan to take Poe to the enchanting forest near your house and take some photos of him there. You admired nature and your best friend, so it fit perfect with the requirements and you were hoping to impress Ren. 

You changed into a hoodie that covered the bruises and ring indent on your neck, not wanting to reveal yourself to Poe. You redid your makeup simply. You changed into a new pair of leggings as well, the ones you were wearing before were sticky and sweaty, and as you were changing you got a glimpse of your ass in the full body mirror on your door. 

Fucking handprints. And not just any handprints, massive handprints, a similar indent of his wedding ring like the one on your neck.

You packed up your things for the photo shoot and texted Poe the place to meet, who happily agreed to helping you with your assignment. The two of you made up quickly after the party incident, you could never go more than a day without talking to one another. 

You waited for the sun to begin setting and once you loaded up all of your camera equipment into the car and made sure everything was in order, you headed towards the dirt driveway that lead to a path that entered the forest. The drive is only about 5 minutes. 

You parked and sat patiently on your phone as you waited for Poe to arrive, who showed up only a couple minutes after you. 

"Hey, long time no see." He says playfully, and you both laugh. You wince as you step out of the car, your legs still sore from earlier today.   
You wobble over to him and pull him into a side hug. 

"What happened to you? You're walking like there's a broom shoved up your ass." He jokes, gesturing towards your crotch and your cheeks heat up while you laugh nervously. You were hoping it wasn't noticeable. 

"Don't know, must've just slept on them wrong." You smile, and raises an eyebrow before he helps you gather all of your equipment from the car and carry it through the forest. 

"By the way... I got caught with my juul at home and I was wondering if I could, you know. Hide it in your locker? Just for a week or two." He scratches his neck nervously as you walk through the grass, and you glance up at him. "That's fine, as long as I don't get caught with it." You chuckle, and he nods appreciatively. You notify him of your locker combination, and he memorized it. 

The spot you found was beautiful- a quiet, gentle stream coursing through the mossy rocks and grassy terrain, ginormous trees surrounding the sight. 

"Wow." Poe gasps, impressed, and you nod your head with a smile. This was the perfect designation for your assignment. You eyed the sight carefully, allowing all of the ideas for the photo you wanted to take to flow through your mind. 

You were deep in thought as you did this, and you finally settle on the picture you wanted to take. You wanted to capture a moment that looked natural. 

"Okay, see that patch of flowers over there?" You ask, pointing to the the daisy's that were placed in bunches near the stream, the golden sun shining brightly in the background and glistening off of the water. 

Poe nods and heads over there without further question, waiting for instruction. "Hunch over and examine them, make it seem as natural and relaxed as possible." You flash him a tight lipped smile and prepare your camera as he does what you instructed. 

He was an expert on making it seem real, and you smile once again as you bring the camera up to your eye, adjusting some settings that made everything in the photo come together perfectly. A slightly blurry background and the focus all on Poe and the flowers. 

You take a few photos just for good measure and praise Poe when finished. "That was good! I think we're done here." 

"Do you wanna go to Olive Garden? I could really use some bomb spaghetti right now." Poe asks, rubbing his grumbling stomach and you nod in agreement, humming. You could use some too. 

Once you pack everything back up in your car, you part ways temporarily and meet at the closest Olive Garden. You were excited to just sit down and have dinner with your best friend, you haven't been able to sit down and talk about how the school year was going with each other. 

————

You had a fantastic time at dinner, using your fake ID's to order a bottle of wine to share and eating pasta, catching up on all of the things you've missed out on each other's life in the few days you didn't speak. 

There was one obvious thing you didn't mention- any of the sexual events with Ren. You surely didn't need to think about that whole situation right now, you just wanted to enjoy your dinner and you really were having a good time. 

Until things just had to go downhill. 

"I seriously don't even know why he reported me, dude! He's a fucking snitch!" You say enthusiastically, bringing up your third glass of wine to your lips. You were slightly tipsy.

"Sounds like an asshole." Poe mutters and you chuckle, allowing your eyes to wander the room as you take another sip, only for your eyes to fall on the one person you weren't expecting to see. 

Not only Ren, but his wife as well. 

He was focused on his wife as she sat acrossed from him and visibly rambled about something, his head nodding every once in awhile to apply he's listening. 

You turn away from him quickly, not wanting him to notice you as you chugged the remainder of the wine in your glass. Of course he had to be here. 

The sight of him eating dinner with his wife made you jealous just a tad, and you tried not to think about it and focus on Poe but all of his stories were now going in one ear and out the other. 

You feel eyes on you in your peripherals, and you turn your head to face Kylo again to see him staring at you, his elbows rested on his table, his food untouched in front of him. His wife was too busy storytelling to even realize he wasn't paying attention. 

You locked eyes for what felt like ages- the chattering and clinking of dishes around you being drowned out by the hold of his gaze. 

You snap out of the trance his dark eyes put you in, and you have to look away and back to Poe, who also hadn't noticed you weren't listening to him. 

You let out a shaky breath and pour yourself another glass of wine, your hands were growing clammy. There he was having dinner with his wife, when only hours ago he was making you feel as if you were the only girl in the world.

You tried your best to ignore his presence altogether, scarfing down the wine as if it was free. Your nerves were shot, you didn't know if you would ever be able to stop drinking. 

You got drunk to the point where your words were running together and it was getting hard to keep your eyes open, just like the night of the party. You listened to Poe talk about nonsense, not absorbing anything he was saying when a distant shout comes from across the room. 

You snap your neck wobbly to look over in Kylo's direction immediatly- only to find that was the exact source of the shout. His wife was flipping her shit on him, and he was visibly trying to contain his anger as he struggled to calm her down, stop her from making a scene. 

You laughed hysterically at the sight, almost manically, and you had to clutch a hand over your mouth to keep the sound from echoing through the room. You were giggling and hiccuping all in one, your drunk state of mind finding the situation hilarious. 

"Okay... I think we should get going. You might've had too much wine." Poe chuckles as he watches you struggle to catch your breath, he only had half a glass of wine. The whole bottle you were sharing was almost gone.

"I agree." A deep voice raptures from your side and you jolt in your spot, looking up and seeing Ren standing right beside your chair and looking down at you, his face blank. His wife was nowhere in sight, she must've stormed off.

"Pfft, no. I'm not even d-drunk." You giggle, reaching for the bottle of wine, but large hands find it first and yank it away roughly. 

"Hey-"

"That's enough." He holds the bottle tight in his hand and you pout, crossing your arms over your chest and kicking your legs like a child. 

"I'll take her." He says towards Poe, and once Kylo looks away from him he widens his eyes, mouthing something unintelligible before gathering his things from the table and flashing you one more look, leaving the restaurant without another word to you, not even a goodbye.

"Come on, let's get you home." Kylo says, gripping onto your shoulder with one hand and helping you gain balance as you step out of your seat. You giggle, his strong hand holding you firmly, the wine in his other hand.

You reached out for the bottle but he yanked it away and held it behind his back. "You've had enough to drink. I'm serious." A warning. 

"Whatever, daddy." You chuckle again, his fatherly attitude an unfamiliar sight, one that made you feel safe. 

He freezes and inhales sharply, removing the wine from behind his back and slamming it on the table. He leaned in close to your ear, his other hand firmly squeezing your arm, his breath warm and delightful, and you giggle as it tickles the skin.

"Don't tease me. I'll punish you right here, right now. You will listen. I said that's enough."

You swallow harshly, nodding swiftly as he pulled away. You didn't laugh at his words for the first time that night. He started pulling you away from the table but you planted your feet to the floor.

"I need to pay, dumbass." You laugh and fumble with your purse, beginning to pull out your wallet, but Kylo holts you, his hand circling your wrist tightly and removing your hand from your purse.

He looked around for a waiter and when he found one he held a hand up and they came in your direction. "Add her order to my bill." He says stiffly to the waiter and they nod, and he drags you out of the restaurant without another word to anybody.

You didn't want to go home. You wanted more wine and you wanted more food. Alcohol gives you the munchies. You start slowing down, attempting to stop him and turn back and go inside when he holts in his spot and looks down at you, the muscles in his face flexing and his nostrils flaring. 

"Cut it out. Now. I won't tell you again." He warns, squeezing your wrist hard and pulling you in the direction of his car. 

"But-"

He stopped again and without warning, hoisted you up and flung you over his shoulder, his shoulder poking your tummy. 

You squeak at the sudden movement as he places a hand on your back to keep you from falling. You were beginning to grow nauseous as you hung upside down, the blood rushing to your head. 

Normally, you would protest against this. You were in the public eye- there was always a risk of someone who recognizes you seeing you. You can't be seen like this with your teacher. But you were feeling the opposite, you wanted to touch him, you didn't care who saw. 

"Kylooo." You chuckle breathlessly as you lightly bounce up and down on his shoulder, using your fingers to drum his back. He didn't respond.

"You know I can drive? I'm a reallly good driver." You blubber, remembering your car was still here. "And I have my very own car, too. Because i'm a big girl. I can also walk."   
You slur teasingly, gesturing towards the fact he was carrying you. You had no control over your own mouth, the wine speaking for you.

"You've proven otherwise. I'm not allowing you to drive." He says seriously, and you finally reach his car. He opens the passenger door and gently places you in the seat, a queasy smile refusing to leave your lips as your eyes flutter shut and your head lulls to the side. Kylo buckles you in and places his hand on your cheek softly, pushing your head back up. It only slumped back down. 

He sighed and shut the door, rounding to his side and starting the vehicle, the car shaking gently, but your drunk ass thought it felt like an earthquake. "Woahh." You breathe, one of your hands pressing against the window and the other flying out to grip his shirt, fisting the fabric in your hand as you felt like you were going to collapse, even though you were sitting.

"It's just the car, it's alright." He mumbles, trying to be reassuring. You nod pathetically and slowly ease yourself off of the window and off of his shirt, your eyelids squeezed shut. 

He waited a few seconds for you to adapt to the shaking until he pulled out of the parking space and did his usual thing, zooming out of the parking lot. 

You kick off your shoes and free your feet with a content sigh, allowing yourself to get as comfortable as possible. 

You were only in the car for a minute, when a bop starts playing quietly on the radio. You snicker and crank up the volume to the level where it was blasting, ear bleeding, and begin screaming the lyrics. You were having the time of your life, chanting the music. Your enthusiastic singing was horrid and you knew that, but you didn't care.

Your throat was raw and your chin was pointing to the ground, it felt impossible to lift your head. Kylo wasn't paying any mind to your god awful voice, instead focusing on the road and not even acknowledging you.

"Kylo?" You scream over the music, trying to lift your head to look at him but struggling. He turns down the music all the way, and you can see him glance at you through your eyelashes. 

"I'm hungry." You mumble, slouching down into the seat in a strange position. You were starving, even though you just got finished eating a whole platter of spaghetti. 

He didn't respond, but one of his hands gripped the wheel and the other patted your thigh. "You need to sit up. I don't want you getting sick."

You grumble something unknown, trying your best to sit up. You turn your head and rest your forehead on the window, your pants fogging up the glass. It was silent for a moment, except for your non stopping humming of the tune you had just been listening to. 

"Kylo?"

"Hm?"

"...Can you get me some fries?"

He sighs defeatedly, and takes a quick, sharp turn. Your head starts pounding even more as you watch the bright lights of different buildings flash by, but you just chuckle as your vision grows blurry. 

"I'm really, really hungry." 

"Mhm."

"... And I really like french fries." 

"Mm."

"Y-yup."

"Mhm." 

You pull up to a McDonalds, a short line in the drive thru. You chuckle over the fact he actually listened to you, as the lights nearly blind you, and you slowly make your way to the ordering station. 

"Welcome to McDonalds, can I take your order?" A muffled voice sounds, and you close your eyes as you turn your head to face Kylo, the back of your head now pressed to the glass.

"Yes. A large fry." Oh my fucking god you fucking love this man right now. A large. He looks to you with his eyebrows raised, silently asking if you wanted anything else. You shook your head no.

"And a water." He mutters blankly, his fingers tapping the steering wheel.

The employee gave the total and you both remained silent as you pulled up to the window to get your food. He payed and grabbed your food and he handed you the bag, gassing up the pedal and speeding away. 

"Thank youu." You leaned forward lazily and pressed a wet kiss on his cheek, not thinking about your actions as you smile and hum, grabbing the bag and preparing to grab the fries when he clicks his tongue at you, not reacting to the kiss you placed on his cheek. 

Kylo pulled over onto the side of the road, putting the car in park and grabbing the straw out of the bag, ripping the wrapper off with his teeth and spitting it out of his mouth, putting the straw in the cup of water. 

"What are we-"

He brings the straw up to your lips and you meet his eyes, they were glistening with concern. "I don't want it." You mumble and turn your head away, pawing at it lazily and curling your lip in disgust.

He closes his eyes and brings his free hand to pinch the bridge of his nose, letting out an annoyed sigh before opening his eyes and pushing the straw into your lips. 

"Drink it." He was trying to soften his aggravated, impatient voice. You stare him dead in the eyes as you shake your head no. You were the worst type of person when drunk.

"You're being stubborn. Drink the fucking water, y/n. I'm not messing around." 

He pushes the straw into you again, scooping up the back of your head with one of his hands and holding your head up, and you lazily wrap your lips around it, closing your eyes as you swallow loads of water at once. The water was cool and refreshing, and it soothes your dry throat. You hum appreciatively and he places the cup in the cup holder once your finished with the ginormous sip you just took, you drank half the cup and went straight for the fries in the bag. 

He began driving again- speeding of course, as you take handfuls of fries in your mouth at once, humming with content from the flavor. "Do you want some?" You ask with your mouth full, holding the box of fries out to him and he simply shakes his head no and you lift both of your legs up and rest them on the dashboard.

It was silent for a moment except for your occasional hiccups that followed with chuckles at yourself. You were having a blast, and you were sure Kylo was miserable, and in the depths of all the alcohol, you felt guilty. 

"Kylo?"

"Hm?"

Your stomach begins to grumble painfully, a nausea washing over you and you completely forgot what you were going to say. You hold your stomach and purse your lips, while also trying to appear nonchalant, your toes curling on top of the dashboard. 

Kylo notices since you didn't respond, and he placed a hand on your thigh again, squeezing it firmly once before relaxing it there, caressing the clothed skin with his thumb. He watched over you carefully, still driving rapidly down the road. You whine, your eyebrows furrowing as your stomach burns. You were ready to go home for the night now, but you didn't want to be alone. 

His hand remained on your thigh as he drove you home, not another word leaving your drunken lips. You were afraid if you opened up your mouth you would hurl all over his car. 

Once you pulled in, he stepped out of the car first and found your side. He unbuckled your seatbelt and lifted you in his arms like a child, his hands gripping the back of your thighs and you wrap your arms lazily around his neck. He used a hand to grab the cup of water, holding it against you as he kicks the car door shut and takes you to your house, leaving your shoes in his car. 

You couldn't believe it. He was being exceedingly careful, tender- way different than he was with you only earlier today. You loved it. You rested your sweaty forehead against his shoulder. 

He leads you into your house which you seemed to have left unlocked, and he began searching your house until he found the bathroom. He carefully placed you down on the cold, tile floor in front of the toilet, and as if on cue you felt the vomit find it's way up your throat. 

You gag, and Kylo crouches beside you and untucks the hair caught in your hoodie and gently holds it back as you wretch into the toilet, releasing the horrible feeling in your stomach as your throat begins burning. 

"You didn't," You gag again, this time no more puke formed. "You don't have to help me. I'm fine." You attempted to appear defiant, but your shaky voice gave you away. You rest your forehead on the toilet bowl and flush it without looking. 

"You look fine." He taunts, standing up slowly and easing you up with him. Even at the slow pace he lifted you up at, you began seeing stars and almost toppled over. 

Before you knew it, you were in his arms once again and he was carrying you carefully to the living room. You didn't bother speaking as he splayed you along the couch. He cups your forehead and brushes the fallen hair out of your face, his eyes were full of something you couldn't recognize through the blur of intoxication. He covered you up with the throw blanket on the couch, and took a step back, watching over you protectively for a solid five minutes. 

"I need to get home. We have an early morning tomorrow." He clears his throat and puts his hands in his pockets, "Will you be okay alone? Do I need to call a parent?" 

"Oh fuck no." You slurred, shaking your head vigorously and he snickered. 

"Or are they unaware that my little girl is an alcoholic?" 

You tensed at his words. Not sure if it was from the arrousel you were suddenly feeling from his pet name or the fact he called you an alcoholic. You took his words in consideration, and the longer you thought about it the more you realized it was true. 

"Where is your fake ID?" He asks, and you simply shake your head no, your throat was still burning and you didn't want to speak. 

He took a step forward, leaning over your deranged body. He slipped a hand under your back and eased you forward so you were sitting up, and snatches your purse from off of your body. You didn't even notice it was there at all. 

He lays you back down and begins rummaging through your purse. "Thanks for being such a good daddy, and taking good care of me." You roll your eyes and scoff, mocking him sarcastically, your voice excessively high pitched, for how fatherly he's been acting all night. Possessive, protective. 

"Enough. You're going to tell daddy where the ID is." His voice was low, husky and seductive and your body shivered. Oh fuck. You never thought you would enjoy the word being used in that way. That wasn't how you intended it, but now you wished you had.

His dark eyes were consuming you and you got lost in his gaze until you shook your head violently, inhaling sharply, suddenly feeling less drunk. 

"It's in m-my wallet." You hiccup, gesturing towards the purse pathetically. He smirks and reaches for your wallet and slips your fake ID out, shoving it in the pocket to his black button up shirt. 

"Now be a good little girl and get some rest." He leans down and whispers in your ear and you nod eagerly. He adjusts the blankets on top of you briefly and lingers there for a moment- his eyes resting on yours. 

He inhaled sharply and turned away, taking unwanted steps towards the door. "Thank you." You say sincerely this time as he reaches the door, truly appreciative for everything he did for you. He nods curtly and opens the door. "Sweet dreams." He whispers so quietly you didn't hear him, and he disappeared through the door.


	8. Pathway and an Obstacle

Your morning was absolute shit, as expected. 

You woke up on the couch, curled into a ball and the throw blanket wrapped tightly around your body. The pounding in your head was inevitable after your night. 

You laid there in agonizing pain, rolling around and groaning as your recollect everything that happened between you and Kylo, and how you certainly made a complete and utter fool of yourself. And that's when you remembered another important thing. 

Your car. 

"Fuck," You whisper shout, throwing the blanket off of you and tumbling off the couch, the pads of your bare feet colliding with the wood floors. 

You trudged your way over to the front door, your eyes squinted with exhaustion and pain. You swung open the door quickly- your eyes took a moment to readjust to the sun pouring down on you, but when they finally did... you noticed your car was parked properly in the driveway. 

You had no clue how it got there, you distinctly remembered leaving it at Olive Garden. You stare in disbelief for a moment, until you glance behind you at the clock, it read 6:31am.

School starts in less then 15 minutes. You mumble curses to yourself as you slip on a pair of slippers and gather your purse, sprinting to your car. The keys were still placed inside, and your phone sat on the passenger seat. 

You check your phone first thing, your eye catching a message from Poe.

Heyyy lover girl! How'd things turn out last night?

You completely disregarded the message, shaking your head frantically as you start your car and pull out of the driveway, still in your clothing from the night before. 

You were obviously hungover, a feeling you were growing accustomed to, except today it felt far worse. The nausea you felt last night never fully went away, your stomach churning and aching as you drive slightly over the speed limit to the school. 

You threw your hair up in a lazy, messy ponytail, your hair was a tangly disaster and you had no tools to fix it. You sigh as you slip your phone into your purse and head for the building, locking up your car. 

The loud chatter in the hallways were furthering your migraine, but you allowed the school day to past quickly, having to abandon your classes a few times as you nearly puked, only for it to be a false alarm each time. 

Photography class finally approached, and you kept quiet as you slipped into the room which was already full, you weren't as early as you usually are due to a pitstop at the restroom. 

Kylo was eyeing the crowd of standing students in the room for you, and when you finally locked eyes you gave him a small but sincere smile. He smirked back and let out a deep exhale, he seemed relieved to see you. He ran a hand through his hair and looked down at his desk, fiddling with papers as the bell rings and you all take your seats. 

You crossed your arms on the desk and laid your head down, the pain was starting to become more noticeable to you now. 

You ended up dozing off, a rather delightful slumber for being in a freezing cold classroom, when a loud ringing wakes you up instantly. 

You glance around the room only to find it completely empty of students and dark, the only light was the daylight gleaming through the windows. 

"Kylo?" You mumble sleepily, slowly sitting up and rubbing your eyes, it was silent for a moment except for the ruffle of papers.

"Yes?" You remove your hands from your eyes and see Kylo sitting at his desk, not even looking at you as he keeps his full attention on whatever papers were in front of him. 

"What time is it?" You ask curiously, not sure how long he let you sleep as you release your hair from it's ponytail and scratch your head.

"It's after school hours." He mumbles quietly, not fully listening to you, still not looking up at you. That means you missed physics again.

You hum in response, slouching back down against the desk and stretching your limbs. Neither of you spoke to each other for a long period of time, you were slowly emerging yourself out of sleepiness and Kylo was still extremely fixated on school work.

And then you remembered. You never submitted the photograph you took yesterday.

"Ah, shit!" You begin, palming yourself in the face and Kylo looks up at you for the first time since you woke up. "I never turned in my assignment, but I did it. I promise." 

He stares at you blankly for a moment, until he blinks and looks back down to what you now noticed were the photographs the class had turned in, his elbows propped up on the desk as he dwindled with a pen in between his hands.

"That doesn't matter to me right now. Just get it to me whenever you can." 

You were shocked by how chill he was about it, and you hesitate before nodding. You wanted him to see it. 

"I have it on my phone, it automatically transfers there from my camera. It's nothing too special, but I want to show you." You say flashing him a smile even though he wasn't looking at you, he nodded briefly. 

You pulled your phone out from your purse and started scrolling through your camera roll, and you smiled to yourself when you saw the photo you took of Poe yesterday. 

You were rather impressed with yourself and you stood up from the chair, stretching one more time as your limbs were sore from laying in the same position for so long. Kylo's eyes look up to you again, and this time he watched you intently the whole time you walked to his desk. Once you got close enough he temporarily looked down at one of the papers, holding out an arm for you to walk into. 

He snakes his arm around your waist and pulls you into his lap and you squeak at the impact, your cheeks growing hot. Your whole body was resting on one of his thighs, his legs spreaded widely. He rested his chin on your shoulder, still looking down at one of the papers he was holding in his hand that wasn't wrapped around you.

You were rather shocked by how he was being tender with you when you had a clear state of mind. He was only ever this touchy with you in a nonsexual way when you were drunk, as you learned the two times he cared for you. 

You waited patiently with your phone in hand as he looked at the paper in front of him briefly one more time, and he plopped it down on his desk when finished. "Show me."

You open your phone back up and find the picture again, and he snatches your phone out of your hand and holds the phone further away from his face, eyes consuming the photo. 

You bit your lip nervously as you anticipated a response, he stayed silent for a moment before sighing and handing your phone back to you. 

"It's good, each detail of the photograph is adequate." He begins in your ear, and he sighs again. He uses his arm to pull you away from him slightly so he can see your face, still planted on his lap.

"It's a fantastic photo, but it's not what I asked."

You stare blankly at him for a second. You were disappointed in his response, you did exactly what you were told.

"What do you mean? I captured a moment I found admirable, exactly as you instructed." You ramble frantically, your eyes darting from his and to the photo still opened on your phone, pointing at it aggressively. 

He chuckles darkly, using his free hand to tuck a piece of strand hair behind your ear. You enjoyed his gentle touch, yet you still pawed his hand away and pointed to your phone again, humming at him in confusion.

He ignored your frantic fascination for feedback and ran his rough finger along your bottom lip, staring at how it slightly flicks after he pulls it away. 

He was looking at you the same way he did last night, the way you had too much trouble identifying, but you were left on the edge of wondering where you went wrong with your assignment to try and piece things together.

You were about to push him further, but when your gaze went back to his you saw his eyes were already settled on yours now. You swallow thickly and clear your throat after you catch yourself staring back, and you were having trouble forming anymore words.

"How are you feeling today?" He stares in your eyes ask he asks this, not looking to your phone as he pulls it out of your hands and places it down on his desk. 

You were endeared by his sympathy, and you grin at him cheekily before shrugging and glancing around the room. "Hungover, like always. Except i'm way more nauseous then usual."

"Mm." He hums, keeping you held close to him as he begins focusing on the array of photographs once again, not acknowledging you were there for awhile except for the hand around your waist that was gripping your upper thigh, squeezing and caressing it softly.

You looked over the room as he did his work, when there's another ringing of a phone. You lean forward and check if it's yours but it wasn't. He didn't bother to check his phone at all. For some reason this clicks something in your mind, and you realize you forgot your shoes in his car. 

You began fumbling with his crimson tie between your hands, the silk material slippery. "Kylo?"

"Mm?"

"I forgot my shoes in your car last night." You mumble, eyes still fixated on his tie as he turns to face you. 

He froze for a second, his eyes unblinking, causing you to look up at him. "They weren't in my car this morning." He responds, bewildered. 

You thought it was strange but it was a pair of shoes you didn't care about anyways so you let it go. Your phone buzzes and you pick it up from the desk, and your dad was calling you. You take a deep inhale before answering. This couldn't be good, he never even acknowledged you the majority of the time. 

"Hello?" 

"Y/n. Your mother informed me of your little incident with the school."

Kylo plops his pen on his desk and leans back a bit, using his free hand to move your hair to one side of your head, tilting your neck to the side. You glanced over at him with your phone to your other ear, and he was smirking faintly as he exposed your neck. 

Right as you opened your mouth to speak, Kylo's soft lips found your neck, sucking and placing wet kisses all around. You bite your lip to hold back a whimper, unsure of how to respond now. "Oh?" Your voice cracks, the delightful ways he was working on your neck becoming too much to bear.

"I am very disappointed in you. You know better than to disrespect your teachers and the principal."

You accidentally sigh with pleasure as he nips hard at your neck, smirking against the skin as his other hand slowly snakes down your body, until it finds the line of your leggings. You glare at him, knowing what he was about to do, and you wanted it- but now was not the time. 

He dips a hand in your pants anyways and begins rubbing gentle circles onto your clit and you jolt forward, a breathy moan escaping your lips from the pleasure. You squeezed your eyelids shut as your brows furrow, his tongue and fingers working over you.

"I-I know. But um, daddy I gotta go. I'm feeling sick." You reply, trying to get him off the phone as soon as possible, the whimpers leaving your lips nearly silent.

"We will be talking about this further when your mother and I get home next weekend, but there's a few more things we need to discuss."

Kylo began increasing the speed of his fingers and you pant, your lids shut and mouth propped open as you grip his wrist, urging him on as your shoulders tense up, toes curling. 

"Dad, I really should go. I'll call you later." You whine, the pleasure building quickly. The mixture of his rough fingers, plump lips and large hand massaging your thigh was overwhelming, and once the moans became impossible to contain you knew you were getting close and you hung up on your dad without another word. 

"Kylo," You moan, squeezing his wrist harder, your head falling back and he chuckles wickedly against your neck. "Remember who your daddy is," He mumbles against the skin, breath hot. 

Suddenly in a quick movement, he had you placed on top of the desk and he flung himself from his seat, dropping to his knees in front of you. You whine from the lack of touch but it doesn't last long as both of his hands begin running up and down your thighs, his gaze on yours was animalistic.

He tugged down your pants and underwear in one swift motion, letting them drop to your ankles that were dangling off of the desk. You were propped up on your elbows watching him, your breaths still pants. 

He massaged your bare skin now, eyes never leaving yours. He wet his bottom lip and leaned into you, placing gentle kisses along your inner thighs, getting closer and closer to where you need him the most. 

You whimper at the tingling sensation his lips leave behind, as he trails slowly to your sex. "I want to take care of my little girl." He purrs, his breath sending vibrations through your pussy.

After you don't respond he snickers and he flicks your clit with his tongue and you lull your head back and tremble. "Ah. Ah. You're going to watch me."

You lift your head back up and try your best to keep your eyes trained on him and finally, his lips attack your sex. His tongue works in magical ways against your folds, thrusting into your entrance as he uses his hands to lift both of your thighs and place them over his shoulder.

You moan freely, his tongue slowly licking its way to your clit. He flicks its once, your toes curling and your breath hitching in your throat. 

One of your hands found his hair, your fingers massaging through his dark locks as you release soft, pleasured sounds. 

Finally, he seals his lips around the bundle of nerves with his soft lips. "Fuck, yes daddy." You moan out, using the new title you uncovered he liked last night.

He groaned into you and pushed his face even further into you, lapping and sucking your juices up. One of his hands left your thighs and he thrusted two fingers into your entrance without warning, your legs tightening around his neck and he pounds and sucks you. 

Your climax nearly reached its peak in an instant, clenching on his fingers and every breath coming out as a moan. "May I p-please cum?" You stutter, about to topple over the edge.

"Cum for daddy." He growls, his relentless fingers and tongue never stopping and his words send you over the top, moans and curses leaving your lips as you cum all over his face and fingers, your skin flushed and sweaty, your legs trapping Kylo in place. 

He slowly pulls his fingers out of you and you whimper from the emptiness, and you loosen your grip around his neck, your fingers still twirling through his hair as you catch your breath, lost in a euphoric dream. 

He brought his drenched fingers up to his mouth and sucked them clean, his eyes never leaving yours as he did so. He licks his lips after. "Mm. My good little girl tastes amazing."  
He praises, his hand slipping around the back of your neck and pushing your face into his. 

He swirled his tongue in your mouth and you tasted yourself, a groan leaving your lips and entering his as he kisses you passionately.

Suddenly, his phone rings for the third time this hour, and this time he pulls away with a smack, sighs and picks it up. Your breaths were still coming out as quiet whimpers and pants, and when Kylo answered the phone he leaned over you, pinning you to the table and used his free hand to clasp your mouth.

"What the fuck is it?" He barks, his spit flying in your face as you watch him wide eyed. Silence for a moment. 

"I don't know what the hell your even talking about. What shoes?" He glances at you knowingly, your eyes growing even wider, his were too. Oh fuck. 

"Can you stop yelling and speak like an adult? I can't understand a word your saying." He rolls his eyes and exhales through his nose, his hand still covering your mouth. A long silence now, except you could hear the muffled shouting leaving his phone. 

"Fine. I'm on my way." He mutters bitterly, jabbing his phone and hanging up without another word. He scoffs and leans down to pull up your underwear and panties for you, picking you up off the table and placing your feet to the ground. Your legs were shaking, and he leans forward and against your body, both of his hands finding your ass and giving your cheeks a rough squeeze, his nails digging into you as he helps you regain balance.

"I have stuff I need to take care of." He says, clearing his throat and removing himself from you altogether. You stood there quietly as he rummaged through files on his messy desk, grabbing a few and tucking them in a brown leather bag, lazily throwing it over his shoulder. 

"I'm sorry." You mumble, he was getting in yet another fight with his wife all because of your stupid ass shoes. 

He stares at you for a long time, his tall figure hovering a couple of feet from you. He steps closer and lightly brushes a piece of hair out of your face and grips the back of your head, his eyes flickering back and forth between yours. He hesitates, but he leans forward and placed a pliant kiss on your forehead. 

That was new, and you adored it. Adored him. You knew this wasn't just a random hookup anymore. You weren't sure if it ever was.

He pulls away from you without another word and walks past you towards the door, and you scoop up your phone and purse and follow behind him. 

You walk in silence side by side out of the building, until you exit the main doors. "See ya tomorrow." You smile softly and he nods curtly, not saying another word as you part ways to your cars. 

You knew he was trying his best to be in a good mood with you after the phone call he received, so you didn't push him to say anything if he didn't want to. The kiss he planted on your forehead was enough, still blooming.

You smile happily the whole drive home, your body still trembling from the events that occurred. You had completely forgotten about the pain you were feeling now, and you were in a much brighter mood. 

Kylo was perfect. You couldn't stop drowning in the infatuation, how you felt protected with him. Secured. That was something your father was never able to offer you. He was an alcoholic which was most likely where you got your drinking problem from, and he never proposed you safety. 

Thousands of diverting feelings were sprouting for Kylo. Feelings that you couldn't decipher or determine, because every event that had led to this moment of comprehension had been a daze. 

His wife never left your head, but you didn't care the least bit anymore. Over the past 24 hours you've uncovered she isn't as sweet and kind as she made herself out to be when you met her. 

That by all means doesn't make what you're doing any better, but it makes it worth it to you. You decided to invite Poe to spend the evening with you, you were going to be alone still and you were too happy to let it go to waste. You would rather see Kylo, but he had his own problems to deal with right now- ones that you caused.

Poe agreed to come over and said he would be on his way, and everything was going smoothly until he mentioned booze. "Do you want me to bring some drinks?" 

Your hand tensed on the steering wheel and you took a deep breath. You wanted a drink, you craved a drink. Because what Kylo said about you was true. You were addicted to alcohol. 

"Um... I..." You didn't know what to say. You knew you should say no. You were about to tell him to bring it on, when the concerned look on Kylo's face the night before flashes in your head. You can't let him down. He can't always be there to save you from your childishness.

"I think we should hold off on the d-drinks tonight." You stutter, blinking away the tears forming in your eyes. You needed help. And there was only one person that's help affected you, and he couldn't be here right now. 

He isn't supposed to be your babysitter. He shouldn't have to help you, and you knew that, but you had no other options, and he was the only person who managed to make you feel like someone genuinely cared about you.

You were a wreck. The tears began flowing down your cheek and you sniffled, flooring the pedal and flying the rest of the way home. You just wanted to get better, but you also wanted alcohol to make the anxiety go away. You don't know what to do for yourself. 

"I- I can't hangout actually." You hiccup, hanging up on him without another word. You were defeated. Alcohol was two separate things. A pathway through the darkness and an obstacle on the road to dignity. It was impossible to ignore, it was the only guidance you've known throughout the past few years, which have really taken a tool on you. You're family only cared about money. You didn't even have a real family. 

————

The next day, you had a substitute in photography. There were no words exchanged about it between you and Kylo until around 6pm, when you got a message from him as you were exiting the shower.

Meet me at the library on the west wing of the school. We need to talk.

You were terrified. The fact that he was in the midst of an argument with his wife the day before, didn't show up to class, and texted you this? It was suspicious, and worst of all it was worrying, but you obliged without question. 

You changed into a fresh sundress, the air was humid and you wanted to allow your skin to breathe. Your hair was still wet as you entered the car and drove to the school as quickly as the law would allow. 

You hurried into the school and made your way to one of the libraries, it was a rather large building and had multiple. You entered through the shiny glass doors, being engulfed in shelves and shelves of numerous books. 

You haven't been in this specific library before, and you were fascinated by the vast amount of books compared to the other one that was closest to your classes. 

"Hello?" You call out, your soft voice echoing through the giant room, the sweet musky smell of olden books flooding your nostrils. 

It was silent for a moment, the only sound piercing your ears was the sound of the air conditioning whirring, when you heard a creak of the rustic floorboard from the depths of distance bookshelves. 

You search frantically through each isle of books until you find Kylo standing in the one closest to the tall, cherry oak walls of the library, his hands in his pockets and his eyes averting to yours sorrowfully. 

"Is everything... okay?" You ask hesitantly, taking slow steps towards him. 

He sighs and averts his gaze to one of the bookshelves, eyes flickering over the collection of miscellaneous novels scattered along the shelves.

"I'm assuming you're familiar with Shakespeare. You're a smart girl." He mumbles, gaze unbreaking from the books, and he clicks his tongue and reaches for one. 

You shot him an incredulous look that he didn't catch, you were wondering what he even asked you to meet here for, you were frightened by his dullness and what he was even getting at.

"Um... yeah, I am. But-"

"Then I assume you're familiar with Romeo and Juliet. The tragic love story. The one where they wanted nothing more than to be together even though it wasn't socially acceptable?" 

He finally turns to face you, and his eyes were hooded and bloodshot, watery. A permanent frown on his lips as you try to piece everything together, his hands still in his pockets as he drops his gaze to the floor after meeting your eyes only for a moment. 

You've never seen him so defeated. "Kylo... Whats going on? Talk to me..." You ask quietly, your eyebrows furrowed as you take steps closer to him. You remained a couple of feet away, wanting to keep your distance just in case. 

He sighs and brings one of his hands out of his pocket to stroke his jaw, his shimmering black diamond watch reflecting the dim lights of the library, turning back to the bookshelf. 

He remained silent for a very long time, refusing to look at you as you stared up at him, waiting patiently for him to talk to you. You wanted to be the one to help him for once. 

He sniffled and scratched his nose, trying to cover up the fact tears were forming in his eyes. He blinked them away quickly, grabbing the book again and staring at it blankly. It was Romeo and Juliet.

"Kylo?" You say slowly, you were more than worried, you were afraid.

"I'm filing for divorce." He says urgently, his face blank except for the sorrowful eyes mow meeting yours. 

It felt as if your entire body went numb. Not a beat of your heart, not a twitch of a limb, your eyes nearly bulging out of your head as you consume his words.

You felt like you've been anticipating this moment until the words came out of his mouth. He was hurting, and you can't believe you would've even thought about this happening. 

You felt tears beginning to pool in your own eyes, and you wipe them away. You stepped into him, draping your arms around his neck and pulling him close to you. His arms wrap around your waist tightly and he leaned down to nuzzle his face in the crook of your neck, you could feel the wetness dripping off of his eyelashes and on your skin, even though he still wasn't crying yet.

You stroke his hair and hold him like this for awhile, gently swaying side to side, just wanting to be a source of comfort for him. No words, just embracing him. 

He recollects himself and pulls away from you, and you pat away the wetness on his cheeks and smile sadly up at him. He shudders under your touch, his eyes fluttering shut as you caress his cheek. 

"I'll be staying in a motel at the edge of town until things are finalized, which is hopefully soon." He mumbles, his hand reaching for yours on his cheek, thumb brushing your hand. 

You frown at the thought of him basically living in a motel, and a horrible but practical idea comes to mind. You were going to have the house alone for another week... 

"I have the house alone for a week. You're welcome to come stay with me." You say shyly, averting your gaze to the ground and dropping your hand to your side. 

You felt like an idiot, he was in the midst of a divorce. You thought there was no way he would even consider your offer until he softly uses his hand to tilt your head to look back at him. 

A faint smile was on his lips- not a smirk, a smile. His dimples slightly appearing on his skin. "I- I need someone right now anyways too. I need you. It's not safe for me to be alone, and it isn't good for you to be alone at a time like this either." You say sadly, referring to your alcoholism and his divorce. You wanted to help him, and you needed him to help you. 

"I'll stay for tonight... I wouldn't be able to get into a hotel this late." He murmured, then pulled your face to his and placed a shaky kiss on your scalp and held it there for awhile. When he pulled away he nodded curtly, a silent agreement. 

You smiled a warm, genuine smile. You were grateful you would get to have him by your side even for just a day, you just knew you had to be as discreet as possible while going along about this. If you got caught, the world would come crashing down around the two of you even more than it already had.


	9. Things got out of Hand

After the emotional moment you two shared at the library, you lingered there a bit longer and parted ways temporarily- you headed home and he stopped by his house, gathering the stuff he needed to stay with you. 

You were antsy with excitement, idly cleaning up your already spotless home as you waited for his arrival. He took longer than you had originally thought he would, and you assumed his wife was giving him a rough time. 

You started gathering up different vegetables, seasonings and chicken to cook, and you were turning on the stove when you heard a faint car horn and a knock on the door. You finished what you were doing and basically sprinted to answer it. 

You opened the door and it revealed Kylo, and your whole body shivered as you saw his face. His perfect, handsome face being consumed with a bruise right under his left eye. 

You gasp and instantly reach out and cup both of his cheeks, his face was blank except for the slight flinch when you shot out your arms. "What the hell happened?" You yell frantically, pulling him into the house with you, his bag falling off of his shoulder and onto the floor. 

"It's nothing. Things just got a little out of hand." He says seriously as if it truly wasn't a big deal, and you open your mouth wide and furrow your eyebrows.

"Kylo, it is not nothing. I swear-"

He cut you off with a quick but hungry kiss, his hands firmly on your hips and your hands exploring his chest, your lips detaching and reattaching every time you thought of pulling away. He bites your lip and snags it with his teeth and you moan against his mouth.

"I was about to make some food. You hungry?" You ask with a smile as your hands leave each other's bodies, attempting to change the subject. 

You knew exactly where that bruise came from, who gave it to him. And you loathed her- you didn't feel guilty anymore that he was going to be here with you while she grieved, he was surely going to be fucking you while she anticipated her approaching divorce. A wicked grin starts pulling in your lips at the thought, and you bit your lip to suppress it.

You turn for the kitchen and he follows behind, you can feel him checking you out so you giggle and sway your hips dramatically, running your hands along your sides. "You like what you see?" You tease, and his hands find your hips again and he plants you to the floor, pulling you backwards and against him, your back flush with his chest. 

"Mhm." He hums with a smirk, his hand twirling around your hair and brushing it to the side, and he leans forward and places a slow, wet kiss on your neck and suckled on the spot, placing more along the flesh.

"I'm hungry, come on." You say with a chuckle and he pulls away, his plump lips glistening with spit. You crane your neck to the side to look up at him, and he brings his mouth to your ear and nibbles on it softly. "Mm." His whisper hum was hot against your ear and you shudder, ready to give in but you snap out of the trance his words put you in.

"Come on. Let me cook for you." You say excitedly, turning around to face him and drumming his chest with your hands. 

He shakes his head no. "I can help." He says with determination and you smile. Only a couple of weeks ago you would've never expected to be cooking dinner with your photography teacher, drowning in your feelings for him. 

You head over to the kitchen together, and you point at the raw chicken with a revolted look spreaded on your face. He took one look at you and knew what you were getting at, and you handed him a cutting board and knife. 

He began chopping up the meat silently in perfect slices as you fired up the stove and poured olive oil on top. You went to the counter opposite of him and began chopping all the vegetables, a comfortable and warm silence fell in between the two of you, the sound of sizzling and chopping flooding the room. 

It stayed like this for awhile, and you were just about done cutting the vegetables when you glanced behind you to look at Kylo, and you snagged your finger with the knife, blood pouring out of the tiny wound.

"Shit!" You scream, shaking your injured hand frantically, the cut burning and blood running down your finger. Kylo whirled around to face you, his eyebrows raised. "What did you do?"

"I c-cut it, Ky-" You begin incrediciously, cutting yourself off with a groan, frantic as a surprising amount of blood drips down your index finger. He walked over to you and took your hand in his and examined it, before pulling your hand to his mouth and sucking the blood off of your finger, his tongue lapping up the crimson escaping your cut. You whimper, the sensation new and delightful. 

He pulls your finger out of his mouth with a wet plop, and he smirks at you before returning to his cutting board and continuing slicing the chicken.

You froze there for a moment unmoving, taking a moment to process what just happened, before blinking rapidly and gathering all of the vegetables that weren't covered in your blood and walking to the stove, the pan sizzling louder as you toss in the veggies. Kylo added the chicken only a moment later, steam erupting from the pan. 

You minced up garlic and chopped onions, being extra careful this time not to cut yourself, adding that to the pan as well. Kylo grabbed a spatula and began stirring up the food. It was an interesting sight to see such a large man doing something so... wholesome? And that's when a hilarious idea comes into play. 

When you were little, you picked out one of those 'chef daddy' aprons for your dad for father's day. You burst out laughing at the thought of it as you walk over to the drawer it's tucked away in, and Kylo only glances at you before focusing back on the food. 

"I have something you're really going to like..." You giggle again, pulling the apron out of the drawer. "Oh?" He says simply, not looking at you this time. You unfold the apron and walk over to him quickly and reach up on your tiptoes to place the strap around his neck before he can say anything. 

He looks down at it and pauses his stirring, before slowly looking up to you with an eyebrow raised. You purse your lips to suppress a laugh, and you sprint out of the room to grab your camera and catch this fucking hilarious moment. 

You run back in and he was stirring again as if he wasn't wearing the apron, his face blank until he hears you giggle from the corner of the kitchen and he snaps his head to look at you, and the second he does, you snap a photo.

"You've got to be kidding me..." He shakes his head in disbelief and scoffs, the picture you caught was fantastic. His face looked confused, the words to the apron were perfectly in sight, and he was stirring the food lazily around. You loved it. 

You place the camera back down and move towards him, watching him watch the food which was almost done cooking. "I think it's sexy." You say with a chuckle and he cocks a brow, glancing over at you briefly before tapping the spatula clean and gathering the pan in his hands. 

You pull two plates out of the cupboard and place them at the bar, and he dumps an equal amount of food on each plate before rinsing they pan and spatula off of the sink for you. I'll be damned.

"Thanks for doing all the work, chef daddy." You say in a mocking tone with a snicker, and he flashes you an unamused look as he finished scrubbing off the pan. 

"Never call me that again."

You chuckle at his seriousness, admiring the way his body language was relaxed in your home. It felt like he belonged here almost, like he's stayed here numerous times before.

You both settle down and eat your food together which was pleasantly tasty, and you hopped down from the barstool and opened the wine cabinet, staring at it for a moment. Wine would taste good with the meal you made, and you knew it was just the alcoholic in you. You hesitated, and you were about to reach for it when Kylo shouts at you with his mouth full.

"Don't." He warns bitterly, jabbing his fork in your direction with his eyebrows raised and you sigh before slamming the cabinet shut. That's all it takes for you to deny your craving of alcohol. "Good girl." His husky voice rings as you walk back over to him, shivers running through your body. 

"Are you coming to class tomorrow?" You ask curiously as you climb the stool again, instantly bringing another bite of food to your mouth. 

"Yes." He says at length, devouring his food as if it would run away if he didn't eat it fast enough. 

After you both finished you cleaned off both of your dishes and cleaned up the kitchen a bit. 

"Do you want me to sleep on the couch?" He asks simply, cocking his head towards it and you shrug, unsure of whether he would be comfortable sleeping in your bed with you or not. 

"You can sleep... wherever." You bit your lip nervously, and he visibly pondered on his options. You didn't want to overwhelm him since he's going through so much, so you chose to allow him to make the decision on his own, but you wanted him to understand he could sleep with you; you wanted him to. 

"You can sleep with me if you want to." You mumble nervously, and he nods curtly without a verbal response. 

It was only around 8pm now and you both make your way to the couch, and you hand him the remote to the TV and allow him to skip through the channels, your thighs pressing against one another's. 

You take a thorough look at him, just admiring how damn hot he is, especially in the apron that he was still wearing. You feel a trickle of desire flow through you as you watch him relax in such a natural state as he chuckled at whatever the TV was saying, something you completely disregarded as you appreciated every ounce of his being. 

His sacred moles scattered around his delicate skin, the way his dark eyes turn hazel, his large nose and bright pink lips. 

You hadn't even noticed that you were tracing every outline of his face gently with your fingertips until his gaze met yours eagerly. His face softened as his eyes darted around every square inch of your own face. 

That was enough for you- you were craving him in a new way now, the motivation of it all being- knowing you aren't sharing him anymore. 

Kylo cups your cheek and pulls you into him, your tongues instantly fighting for dominance as you exchange spit, your lips soft against on another's. You hop up from your position and straddle him, grinding your hips into him slightly as you kiss each other passionately, digging for lost treasure in one another's mouths. 

You fist one hand in his hair, the other exploring his chest freely as he squeezes both of your hips hard enough to bruise them, his tongue thrusting sloppily in and out of your mouth, starving for more. 

You whimper in his mouth as he brings one of his hands up to spank your ass, causing you to jolt and grind against his hardening cock even harder and he groans against your lips. 

"Mm. My little girl." He whispers against your lips before tilting your head to the side roughly and holding it there, biting your neck and pressing kisses in the same places gently. His other hand glides up your bare thighs underneath the dress, and in one quick motion he leans down, the hem of your dress covering his head. You were anticipating what he would do next, and he bites down into the fabric of your panties and rips then off with his teeth, using his hand to toss them carelessly behind the couch before returning his mouth to yours in a needy 

You pull off the string keeping the apron on him from over his neck, rolling the material down until it stopped at his thighs, revealing the tightness of his pants as his bulge stares back at you. He guides your hands to unbuckle his belt and you toss it over your shoulder, working eagerly at his zipper until his length springs free.

You sigh in content as you watch his large cock throb with arrousel, begging for release. You meet eyes with Kylo again, his eyes had the familiar gleam of wickedness in them. "I want you to use your hands first." 

Kylo sucks in a breath as he watches you reach in between your legs and gather your own wetness, before you use your juices against his cock. You start fisting it slow and steady at first, staring in his eyes and watching the way his face twitches with pleasure, his lips slightly parted.

You whimper as your hand slides up and down his shaft, your own wetness seeping down your legs. He had one hand tangled in your hair, yanking it slightly and his other hand came up and pinched your jaw painfully. 

"Make daddy cum first. Then you can have me." He growls with a grunt, his teeth clenching as you nod and begin pounding his length harder, moving swiftly and spreading your wetness all along it, still straddling his lap. You loved getting to please him with your hands, which were tiny compared to the size of his shaft. 

His cock twitches in your grip as he grows close to his climax and you pound roughly now, your hand moving rapidly with ease and he groans, wrapping his whole hand around your neck and pulling your lips into his. It was nearly impossible to breathe through the assault on your lips and grip on your throat, your breath faltering as you continue jerking him off. 

His hips buck into your hand and you whimper has he begins thrusting into your hand, implying he's on the edge. "Fuck-" He groans breathlessly, pulling away from your lips and you stroke him impossible harder and you feel the way his cock twitches once again, and this time you duck your head down and seal your lips around the tip of his length as he releases his hot load down your throat, moaning around it. "Such a good girl." He praises with a sharp exhale and before you can say anything further he flips your around by your neck and slams you back first into the couch. 

You squeak at the sudden movement and he hovers over you, untying the tie he had been wearing and wrapping the silky material tightly around your wrists, pinning them above your head. His gaze and hands roamed every curve of your body, palming your breasts, massaging your hips and caressing every inch of skin as his cock hardens again from the sight of your submissive state, breathless and eager beneath him. 

He continues gripping your throat tightly, your breaths coming out wheezy as his other hand flicks your clit once, forcing a whine out of you.   
He adjusts himself to be directly in front of your entrance, and he uses the tip of his length to tease your soaked folds. "Who am I?" He whispers in your ear as his body leans over you, one of his massive hands pressed against the couch next to your head, the other still squeezing your neck.

"Daddy." You whimper while biting your lip, making your eyes wide and doe like, fluttering your eyelashes.

You loved the rush and delight it brought you to call him his new profound title, the way it felt for him to use yours too. He was your daddy and you were his little girl. 

Without another word he thrusts into you with one rough thrust and you groan as you accommodate his massive length, which was moving at a quick tempo already. You wrap your legs around his waist as he leans in and bites your lips viciously, blood elevating from the surface of the tender pink skin and you whimper at the slight burn as he licks up the blood he caused, enjoying the sensation.

"Nobody can stop me from fucking you like this. You're mine." He grunts, and you buck your hips into his as you feel your climax building up, the tip of his length finding the sweet spot inside of you and you moan with no restraint, panted moans leaving every time he pounds into your cervix. "Say it." 

"I'm y-yours." You pant, his hips snapping into yours and his length impaling you. You loved the way the words rolled off your tongue. "Shit, you're so tight." He seethes, his cock twitching inside of you as you both get close to reaching your climax. You groan and he removes his hand from your throat and begins circling your clit, and you scream out his name as it sends you over the edge, your cum blending with his as he finds his second release seconds after you, shooting it up inside of you. 

You were on birth control, and there was no fucking way you wanted to see a condom a day in your life when you've already had his cock the way it comes. 

He presses his sweaty forehead against yours as you both catch your breaths, and he pecked your lips before untying the soft restraints of his tie and tucking himself away. You were floating on cloud nine, the situation intoxicating with pleasure.

You sit up unsteadily as Kylo scoops up your torn up panties and his belt off of the floor. You stand up as he gathers your things and you interlock your fingers with his empty ones and drag him sleepily upstairs and to your bedroom, you were exhausted. After showing him there, you let go of his hand and plop yourself on the bed, wrapping yourself up in warm blankets, not bothering to change your clothes. You curl up into a ball and pat the bed behind you, gesturing for him to lay. 

You hear him exhale quietly and he throws your belongings to the floor, and you hear the shuffle him removing his pants and the apron before he crawls into bed with you and you turn off the lamp on your bedside table, blacking the room out. 

Kylo hesitated for a long time next you, you could feel his arm hovering a few inches from your frame, and when you silently scooched back closer to him he finally wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you closer into him. 

"Goodnight," You whisper, your eyes fluttering shut from his warm embrace, and his legs begin entangling with yours. "Goodnight." He whispers back against the back of your head, and you fall into a blissful sleep knowing whose entangled in the sheets with you.

————

You wake up to the sound of your alarm ringing, the dreadful sound echoing through the room. You groan unintelligible words and turn the other way only for your face to smash into Kylo's chest. You nearly jolted in your spot, you forgot he was there was for a split second, but once you remembered you nuzzled your head into him

He sighed and stroked your hair and you grumbled some more, the softness of his fingers in your scalp nearly making you fall asleep again. 

"We have to get up." His rough and sleepy voice mutters, twirling pieces of your hair between his fingertips. You thrash your legs dramatically and don't make an effort to move, taking in the warmth of his body against you. You aren't a morning person. You mumble muffled words against his chest and he lifts your head up by your hair gently. "Hm?"

"I don't wanna." You grumble, and he snickers before sitting up and rubbing his eyes, causing you to sit up too. You watch the way his muscles flex as he stretches and steps off of the bed. You tumble back in the sheets, crashing your head against the pillow. "You can use my shower." You mutter while pointing to the bathroom door in your bedroom, your eyes fluttering shut. 

He doesn't respond, but you hear shuffling and the sound of the floor boards creaking, and then the water running from the bathroom. You nuzzle your face further into the pillow and sigh contently, when you hear steps coming closer again. "Come."

You jump up from the position you had curled yourself back into and threw yourself off the bed, suddenly not sleepy anymore. 

Neither of you said a word to each other as you stripped bare. You eyed his perfect toned chest and muscles, and he admired all of your curves, nobody saying anything. 

You step into the shower first, allowing the warm water to soothe your aching limbs, and Kylo steps in only a moment after. You wash yourselves in peace, not bothering the other person as you clean yourselves. 

You catch Kylo staring at you and you shudder, instantly tangling your hand in his wet locks and pulling his face into yours in a slow but needy kiss. You reached for his cock but his wrist caught you just in time. 

"We're going to be late." He says seriously, pressing his lips into yours again before pulling away and continuing to wash himself. You pout and whine, going about your own thing once again too. 

"Stop pouting. We have to go." He warns, and you roll your eyes as you both step out of the shower and dry yourselves off. 

You threw on another sundress, it felt like the only appropriate thing to wear for the excruciating heat, and you sent Kylo downstairs to make himself some coffee.

After drying your hair and doing your typical skincare, you exited your room and found Kylo perched on the edge of the bed in fresh clothing, his hands clasped in his lap as he looks up at you. 

"Ready?" He asks simply, and you shake your head no. "I need to put on makeup." 

He gives you the biggest what the fuck look you've ever seen, and he steps off the bed and walks up to you. He brought his hand up to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing the skin.

"You don't need to put on makeup. Let's go."

You wave him off and walk over to your vanity, pulling out concealer that would best suit his skin tone, which was only a tad bit darker than yours. "Fine. But you need some." You say with a chuckle, walking back over to him as he raised an eyebrow. "For the the bruise." You clarify, and his face falls as if he had completely forgot about it. 

You brush his dark waves out of his face and apply a tiny amount of concealer under his bruised eye, and use your finger to pat it in to his skin. You meet his eyes to see him watching you work your magic. You smile and sigh, returning the makeup back where you found it.

You took deep breaths, trying to soothe your anger that eyeing the bruise caused. You each headed to your cars, and he got situated in his and began pulling out of the driveway. You waited a few minutes after he left before pulling out behind him, it would be suspicious if the two of you arrived at the same time.

Once you arrived to the school, you chose to give Kylo his space for obvious reasons- you would be spending an exceeding amount of time together for the next week, and you knew he would need at least a little bit of alone time, considering the circumstances. 

You were heading to the art room as it was your first period even though you were early, when you hear a vile throat being cleared from behind you. "Y/n. I need to see you in my office. Now." Miss Hunt growls, and you curse under your breath as you spin to face her, shooting her a nasty glare as you walk by and into her office.


	10. Consider your absence Excused

The air around you was cold and suffocating- the principals piercing blue eyes locked on yours, a disappointed look plastered on her wrinkly face. 

"May I ask why i'm here?" You ask sarcastically, even though you were secretly afraid. Afraid that this was about Kylo. 

"I'm not in the mood for games today, so i'm going to get straight to the point. You've been skipping physics every day since the first day of school. Care to explain?" 

You sigh obnoxiously, fiddling with your hands in your lap as you avert your gaze around the dull and plain office. "Not really. Can I just take my detention or whatever and get to class?"

She laughs humorously, rolling her eyes. "Actually, no. A detention won't do. But a 48 hour suspension will." She smiles wickedly and your jaw drops to the floor. As much as you've misbehaved throughout the years of high school, you've surprisingly never been suspended. 

"Are you- Are you for real?" You stutter bitterly, your arms flying out in front of you while you look at her incredulously. She just nods and points to the door.

"You're excused. I'll be notifying your parents. I'll see you when you return on Monday."

You huff and storm out of the room without another word, and you storm angrily to the photography room to inform Kylo of everything that just happened. 

You bursted the door open and slammed it shut behind you, revealing Kylo who had his reading glasses on and photographs placed around him, a smug look on his face. "Missed me?" He muses, but when he gets a good look at your furious face he stands up abruptly, walking towards you with his arms out consolingly. 

"I just got fucking suspended!" You scream, thrashing your hands and stomping like a child, crossing your arms over your chest. You knew how fucked you were once your parents found out. 

"What did you do?" He asks slowly, he was directly in front of you now, and when you didn't respond he pressed his body against you, your back flush with the door. 

"Nothing." You sigh, averting your gaze to the floor, his dark gaze was too intimidating. He slowly snaked his hand up your body until it found your throat, and he took time to carefully wrap his fingers around it gently. 

"What. Did. You. Do?" He whispers in your ear and you swallow harshly, your anger and arrousel mixing together now. 

"I haven't been going to physics. It's so-" You get cut off by his hands squeezing your neck harder, a squeak erupting from your throat. "Mm. That's very naughty." He says tauntingly, his voice seductive as his other hand firmly grips your hip. 

You feel the warmth growing in between your legs, and the only way you could respond was with a whimper. "I want you to go home and take a video of you touching yourself while thinking of me. Then send it. Consider your absence of my class excused then." He orders roughly, and you nod frantically as you bite your lip, you were intrigued and turned on by the idea. "Yes, daddy."

"Good girl." He smirks and presses a long, needy kiss against your lips before pulling away and making his way back to his desk. "Go. I don't want you getting in anymore trouble." He waves a hand of dismissal at you as he sits back down and places his glasses back on his face, examining the photographs. "Don't forget to cum for me."

You exit the room without speaking, your anger completely drowned out by the throbbing need in your pants, which was exactly how he was hoping to leave you, hot and bothered. 

You rushed home rapidly, certainly going over the speed limit, eager to release the ache in between your legs. You were almost debating on doing it in the car, but that was outrageously dangerous. 

Once you arrive to your house, you sprint inside and dart straight to the bedroom and to your closet. You had the perfect thing to wear for this occasion tucked away in the depths of your clothes; sexy black and lacey lingerie.

He was instructing you to tease him already, but you wanted to make it as excruciating as possible. You slip out of your clothes and tug the lingerie on instead. 

You checked yourself out in your body mirror, tracing over the curve of your hips with your fingers and chuckling at yourself. You plopped down onto the bed and spread your legs, grabbing your phone out from your bag. 

You've never done anything like this before, and you weren't quite sure how to. You pulled your phone out and began recording, making sure your barely covered body was in view of the camera. 

You started by gently rubbing your covered yet soaked folds, allowing soft sighs and whimpers to escape your lips as you think of Kylo. His flawless, sexy face. His perfectly chiseled and toned body, and most importantly his enormous cock. 

You dip your fingers into the lacey material of your lingerie and began slowly rubbing your clit, a breathless moan leaving your mouth. You continued teasing yourself pleasurably as the camera continues focusing on you, the sound of your whines and slickness being picked up. 

You prepared yourself as you stuffed two fingers inside of your entrance, thoughts of them being Kylos fingers instead flooding through your mind as you squeeze your eyelids shut. "Ah- I wish this was you. I wish this was you, daddy." You moan over the sound of your fingers sliding in and out of you, your face twisting in pleasure. 

You pump your fingers inside of yourself for a moment, your grip on the phone tightening as you imagine Kylo pounding into you roughly, your climax already approaching quickly and you begin rubbing your clit with your thumb, your wetness getting all over the bed.

"Mmm- ah, I fucking-" You begin moaning, when your climax crashes into you like a wave and you clench around your fingers, cumming all over them. You pant breathlessly as you tilt the phone up a bit, and you bring your drenched fingers up to your mouth and suck them clean, your eyes locked eagerly on the camera as you bob your head into them and bat your eyelashes innocently. You end the video there and fall back into the bed, curling up in a ball as your recover from your climax, caught in a euphoric daze.

You took time to catch your breath before removing the cum covered lingerie and tugging your sundress back on, laying back down in the bed as you prepare to send him the video. You didn't bother watching it, you weren't fond to see how submissive and desperate you appeared, and you made sure it was him as you sent it. 

————

You spent the remainder of the day watching netflix in bed, repeating the events that occurred only hours ago. You already missed Kylo, but you shrug it off as you decide to relax by the pool.

You're family was filthy rich- except instead of spending it on fancy cars and italy's finest wines, your parents saved the money for important things, and apparently a massive pool with a fountain was necessary. 

You dipped your feet into the cool water, your butt planted to the rough cement as you slowly frail your legs to the water and lay down on your back, closing your eyes and taking in the heat of the bright sun. You remained like this for an hour or so, when the sound of a car horn echoes from the front of the house. 

Your eyes snapped opened and you sat up rapidly, nearly toppling over into the pool. You sat on nerve wrecking silence for a moment, when the back door creaks open. "Come inside." Kylo's low and blank voice booms in your ears, and you swallow the lump forming in your throat and oblige. You weren't expecting him to be back. Once you creep inside he's standing by the door waiting for you. 

He snatches you by your wrist and pulls you into him, his lips fervently working along yours momentarily before he leans down and throws you over this shoulder, hoisting you up and marching up the steps and to your bedroom without a word.

You squeak as he throws you to the bed, and he doesn't waste a second before pulling something out of his coat pockets- two sets of shiny, metallic handcuffs. You gawk at the site, and you watch as he roughly clasps one cuff of each set on one of your wrists, clasping the other end to your headboard. You wiggle your wrists and you can already feel bruises forming. 

You squirm in your position as Kylo pulls out his phone from his back pocket, his free hand palming and pinching your nipple, his mouth attacking your neck hungrily. Soft whimpers escaped your mouth and he pulled away.

"You're going to watch me fuck myself to the video you sent me." He growls, and you nod eagerly, your eyes widening as he releases his belt in one quick motion, throwing it to the side and unzipping his pants, releasing his aching cock. 

He pinched the tip, unloading a small bit of precum onto his finger and slightly stroking his shaft with it, his other hand pressing play on the video. You instantly heard your own whimpers leaving the phone and he grunts as he pumps himself slowly. 

You press your thighs together and whine, in dire need of him as he begins pounding himself harder and harder as your moans escalate from his phone. "I wish this was you, daddy." Your soft voice escapes his phone and he groans, a smacking sound erupting through the room as he thrusts his cock in his hand relentlessly. 

You whimper as you watch him like a hawk- your eyes flickering back and forth from his hard cock and his twitching face, your panties soaked and leaking onto the bed. He twists his hand and grunts while he pounds himself, his cock twitching as you find your climax in the video. 

He releases his cock and shuts his phone off, slamming it on the bed and inches forward and thrusts his cock into your mouth, pounding relentlessly past your lips until he releases his hot load down your throat, your lips sealed tightly around it as you bob your head into him eagerly, both of you moaning.

His hands entangle in your hair as you suck him clean, swallowing the salty flavor of his warm cum. "You're such a good girl. So good for me." He praises with a groan, and he releases his cock from your mouth, your lips sealing around it until he completely pulls out, making a popping sound. 

He inches backwards and tucks himself away. His gaze finds your bare feet, and he takes one in his hand and begins rubbing it soothingly, a content whimper leaving your lips as his thumbs massage the pads of your foot in magical ways, his eyes now set on yours and unbreaking. He leans down and kisses the bottom of your foot, then the top of it. He continues rubbing your foot as he licks and kisses up your calves and to your knees, his fingers now tracing the skin there and massaging them instead. 

He kisses your knee and caresses your calves, licking up your thigh as his other hand finds your other leg and spreads your legs wide open. You shudder at the way he gently massages your skin and reveals your wetness. 

"You're mine." His low voice hums against the flesh over your thigh, and his hands move up until they find your hips, gripping them firmly. "These thighs," He bites down on the skin, causing you to jolt, "Are mine." 

He licks along your thigh until he finds your warm, melting pussy, and his eyes lock on yours as he flicks your clit with his tongue, excusing a moan from your lips. "This beautiful, tasty fucking pussy." He licks a flat line up your swollen sex. "Is mine." 

You shudder from his words and he eases himself up enough to be directly in front of your pleading face, so close to you that his lips brushed against yours. You pushed yourself into him and kissed him needingly, swirling your tongue in his mouth when he pulls away suddenly. "And most importantly," He points to your heart in your chest roughly, jabbing the skin where your heart thudded, staring deeply into your eyes and pecking your lips. He pulled away and pointed again. "This belongs to me."

He was right. Your heart belonged to him, and it has ever since the second you laid eyes on him. You loved him. You knew you had to wait until he wasn't in the middle of divorcing his wife to admit that to him, but it was good enough you were even admitting it to yourself. 

He averted his face back to your sex, and he inhaled sharply before attacking your clit with his lips, sucking and licking as if his life depended on it, his fingers digging into your hips as you moan and buck your hips into his face.

"Yes!" You scream, and he awards your moan by thrusting two fingers into your entrance, tears strolling down your face from the overwhelming pleasure, your wrists burning in the restraints. "Daddy," The moan rolls off of your tongue effortlessly has he begins pumping his long fingers into you, curling them in delightful ways as he sucked your clit.

You grind into his face, begging for your second release of the day as he laps up your wetness with his tongue and begins hitting your spot with his fingers. You pant and whimper as your whole body buzzed and burned, your climax swiftly building and nearly reaching the peak. "Cum in my mouth, little girl." He groans against your clit and it sends you in to override, your hips bucking into him furiously and strained moans exiting your lips as you cum all over his face. 

He licks his lips clean, swallowing as he watches you fail to catch your breath, your eyes squeezed shut and your body falling limp, the handcuffs making your wrists ache as you pull against them. He leans forward and places a gentle kiss on your forehead, stroking the hair that was matted to your head with sweat off your face before unclamping the handcuffs from your wrists and throwing them carelessly to the floor. He took both of your wrists in his hands and massaged the bruises and you watched him with hooded eyes as he placed soft kisses on both of them. 

You felt loved, the way he tenderly caressed and kissed your skin as if it was a holy grid he had to find made you cherish him even more.

He pulls you forward and cradles your limp body in his hands, his arms embracing you tightly as you rest your forehead on his shoulder, still catching your breath. 

One of his hands trails down to your ass and squeezes roughly, a light slap following after, causing you to jolt forward into him even more. "This is mine too. All of you belongs to me." He says in a hushed tone against your ear, and you nod against him. 

He pulls away and grabs both of your wrists in his hands again, examining them carefully. "Did I hurt you?" He asks sincerely, pressing another soft kiss to one of your wrists. "No." You say simply, smiling at him when he looks back to you. 

You enjoyed the moment together for awhile, staring into each other's eyes as he massages your aching wrists, when your phone rings. 

You freeze instantly, expecting the worst, and of course it was your father. You release one of your wrists from Kylo's grip and answer. 

"Are you serious? Can you do anything right? What is going on with you! Suspended?" Your dad screams bitterly in the phone, and you frown. You knew he always saw you as a mistake, and this just confirms it. You feel tears slightly forming in your eyes. 

"Dad-"

"No. I've had enough of your behavior. What the fuck is wrong with you? You're making your mother and I's life a living hell!" 

A tear strolls down your cheek as you look down at your lap, and one of Kylo's hands brushes the tear away softly and you sniffle, averting your gaze back to his. 

"I'm sorry-" You begin, your voice cracking when Kylo yanks the phone out of your grip and holds it up to his own ear, huffing bitterly. He hesitated for a moment, snarling as his mouth opened and closed a couple of times, "Your daughter..." His eyes flickered to yours and when he was about to continue,

"Who the fuck is this?" You hear your fathers voice boom from the speaker, and Kylo brings up a hand to brush your tears away again, using one hand to gently grab the back of your head and pull it to his chest, massaging your scalp as you cry quietly into his chest. 

"I'm her photography teacher. She stopped by after school today to study and do makeup work that she's missing." He lies, continuing to rub your head soothingly as you weep, the fact your father basically admitted to hating you ringing in your ears. 

"Oh, my apologies sir. Could you put my daughter back on the phone?" Your father asks with fake sweetness, and Kylo scoffs. "No. She's busy making up a test." He growls angrily, hanging up without another word- being sketchy, yet neither of you gave a shit. 

Kylo slams your phone on the bed and brings up his other hand to caress your back now, hushing you consolingly. "Shh. You're my little girl and I won't let anybody hurt you." He says seriously as he rubs you, and you nod against his chest, trusting him. You feel safe and protected in his arms, in his presence.

"Thank you." You blubber, the tears slowly fading away. He hums in response and you pull away from him, bringing up your hands to cup his cheeks and kissing him appreciatively. 

————

Kylo returned to the school shortly after- he claimed he still had stuff to grade and that he abandoned it to see you, so he had to get it done now. 

You were laying on the couch, you changed into a random band t-shirt and you were in your underwear, watching TV as you relaxed at home, still recovering from your emotional breakdown. 

You ended up falling into a blissful nap on the couch, not even awaking when the front door opened. Large hands caress your cheek, and your eyes flutter open to see Kylo crouched down on the floor, a smirk touching his lips as he brushes your cheek with his thumb. 

You smile back and yawn as he lifts a bag of food in his hands, the savory smell flooding your nostrils. "Up. Time to eat." He says simply, standing up and placing the bag on the coffee table, sitting at the opposite end of the couch by your feet. You chuckle and lay your feet in his lap, and he glances at you before locking his gaze on the TV, both of his hands finding your feet like earlier and massaging them tenderly. 

You whimper at the delightful sensation, squirming as it begins to tickle. You giggle and he smirks, still not looking at you as he massages your feet fluently- relaxing and calming nerves filling your body from the gentle touch. Your eyes flutter shut again and you take deep breaths, focusing on his attention on your feet. You accidentally moan as he worked his thumb harder into you, and he snickers and glances at you. "Oh." He muses, rubbing slow and tauntingly. 

You bite your lip and sigh contently, and his hands leave your feet altogether causing you to whine in protest. "Hey!" You pout, sitting up and crossing your arms over your chest, your feet still in his lap. He chuckles darkly whine he leans forward and grabs the bag of food off of the table, pulling out a box of chinese and placing it on your lap. "I called to ask what you wanted and you didn't answer. It isn't my fault if you don't like it." 

You sigh dramatically and open the box, and to your surprise it was your usual order. You giggle and look up to him as he hands you a fork, his eyebrows raised. "My favorite." You say, taking the fork and eating a bite. 

"Good." He says simply, opening his own food and eating it, placing the box on the arm rest of the couch. His free hand found your foot again, and he began massaging it as you both watched the show playing on the TV and ate your food.

You never stopped and took the time to think about what the two of you were- and it didn't matter, not anymore. All that mattered was you felt safe and comfortable with each other, as if you've been doing this your whole life. Even though you only met a few weeks ago. 

You felt spiritually connected to him, soulmates you supposed, if that's even a real thing. Unless, it's just all one big coincidence that he was having a hard time when you met him, both of you puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly.

"How was your day?" You ask with your mouth full after a long moment of silence, your attention set on him. He glances at you before looking to his food and bringing another bite to his mouth, still rubbing your foot. 

"It was fine. I mentioned a new assignment to the class for tomorrow." He says, gently cracking your toes and caressing the pads of your foot. 

"Oh, like what?" 

"Just a little something to help them with editing skills. Learning some basics." He sighs, putting his fork down indicating he's done, and using his other hand to massage your other foot.

"Guess it's good that i'm suspended while your teaching them stuff I already know." You chuckle, and he nods his head with a huff of amusement. 

"That's why i'm directing that now. I didn't want you to miss anything new and useful that could benefit you, so i'm proposing the basics now instead of later." 

You nod slowly and smile widely to yourself. "Not sure if there's anything more you can teach me." You say humorously, and he raises his eyebrows and looks at you. 

"Oh? Is that so?" He grins wickedly and brings up your foot to his face and pressed a kiss on the top, his thumbs working on the bottom. "I think i've already taught you plenty." He says suggestively, and your cheeks grow hot. 

He unleashed a new being out of you that you never knew even existed, so technically he was right, except you meant strictly photography wise.

"You know what I meant." You narrow your eyes at him, taking one last bite of your food and he chuckles. 

"Mhm. I think you're taunting me, and that should stop now. Before I have to do something about it." He says seriously and flashing you a warning look, while brushing your feet off of his lap and gathering both of your trays, getting off of the couch and throwing them in the trash.

His mood changes can be hard to keep up with. It's all worth it though, just to have the bright side of him to yourself.


	11. I’ll make it Hurt

In the midst of your comforting night with Kylo, you completely forgot about all of the online work the principal had assigned you to do on your days "off" from school. 

It was around 1am, and you and Kylo had both fell asleep, his arm was draped around your waist, his face nuzzled into the back of your neck when you remembered everything you still needed to do. 

You sighed dramatically and slowly slipped away from his embrace, your feet colliding with the soft carpet beneath you. You admire him as he slept for a moment, the way he snored quietly through his parted lips, the way his chest swelled with every breath, before you tiptoed away from the bed and out the door, still in nothing but a t-shirt and panties. 

You knew you could just do everything in a bundle tomorrow, but your brain was already determined on getting it done now and you knew you wouldn't be able to fall back asleep.

You creep carefully down the steps and gather your bag from the floor by the front door, and take out your computer, textbooks and notes from the classes you have been attending. 

You had algebra, literature and a shit ton of physics to catch up on, and at the rate you were trudging sleepily through the house you knew you would be up all night doing your school work. 

You collected all your things and sat at the bar, preparing everything to start working, when you hear loud, slow footsteps coming from upstairs.

"Shit." You whisper out loud, cursing yourself for waking him. He had to wake up early to get to his class, and you felt guilty. You opened up an assignment on your laptop and began taking notes that your physics teacher had prepared for you, when the sound of feet colliding with the tile floors indicate he was down here. 

You slowly turn to meet him and catch his sleepy gaze, his eyes squinted as he adjusted to the bright kitchen light, scratching the back of his head. "What are you doing?" His voice was groggy, and you smile at him before looking back to your notes. 

"Sorry if I woke you, I just remembered that I have a lot to catch up on." You sigh, closing your notes and taking out your algebra papers. You were awful at math. 

"That's what happens when you're not responsible." He says, voice still scruffy as he walks over and sits on the barstool next to you. You wave a hand of dismissal at him and sigh. 

"Go back to sleep. You have to wake up early." You say seriously, beginning to answer a math problem when his hand finds yours, a pen in your hand.

"You should come back to bed. You can do all of this tomorrow." He commands lightly, removing the pen from your hand and placing it on the counter. You glance at him before picking it back up, beginning to answer another problem. You just wanted to get it over with. 

He sat there silently and watched you as your face twisted bitterly while you attempted to solve the problems, your brain not processing anything you've obtained in algebra. 

"Fuck," You groan, rubbing your face. "I suck at this. This is so stupid." You pout, slamming the pen down and thrashing your legs. You huffed and crossed your arms, slamming your face into them on the counter. 

You hear the dark sound of Kylo's chuckle, and his hand caresses your hair gently before snatching it back roughly, forcing you to remove your face from your arms, and once your head was up he went back to massaging your scalp. 

You purr at the touch and he smiles, his gaze set strictly upon you. "Come on. Don't give up that easily, i'll help you. I've always been rather skilled in mathematics." He says, and you roll your eyes and paw his hand away. 

"Show off."

He smirks and removes his hand, finding your pen instead. He picks it up and taps his chin with it as he examines the work you already did.

He clicks his tongue and hums, shaking his head as he brings the pen to point at one of the problems, silently telling you that it was wrong. "That's not even close. Do you pay attention in algebra?" He asks with a barely noticeable smirk, but you don't find it amusing. You glare at him and sigh, crossing your arms over your chest again. 

"I don't need help." You shrug dramatically, biting your lip as you look down at the paper. He points at the problem again. "Don't be stubborn. I said i'll help." He says in a stern tone, and you pout again. 

You sigh multiple times as he tells you everything you missed, idly explaining everything. You were only getting more pissed off, you weren't sure if it was from the lack of sleep or the fact he kept degrading your math skills, but he was growing frustrated with your stubbornness as well. 

"Kylo, being mean to me isn't teaching me how to do the fucking problem." You growl, and he snarls at you while snatching the pen out of your hand again. 

"Lose the attitude. I don't have to help you at all." He says bitterly, and you scoff while taking the pen back out of his hand. 

"I said I didn't need your help to begin with! Go the fuck to bed!" You bark, following with a dramatic groan, and once you caught a glimpse of his face you knew you were absolutely fucked. 

"I-"

His hand flies out to your throat and cuts you off, squeezing to the point that stars filled your vision. He hoists you up on the counter like this, your ass planted on multiple pieces of paper, the pen dropping out of your hand as your fingers go limp from his grip on you. 

You choke and croak, his face blank of any emotion except for the anger sparkling in his dark irises. Despite your will to breathe, you felt the wetness pooling in your panties. He uses his knee to spread your legs, and he steps into the gap, his hardening cock grazing your sex.

"You have such a dirty fucking mouth." He growls, his other hand suddenly collided with your cheek and you moan from the painful yet blissful tingling overtaking where he slapped you, and he rams two fingers down your throat briefly, gagging you. You never thought you would be into being hit, but your desire was fueled by anything he did to you. 

You gagged on his fingers as his grip on your neck loosened just enough for you to allow breath into your lungs, your cheek still buzzing. "Apologize." He grunts, the hand that slapped you removing from your mouth and dipping down below and tracing your covered sex. You whimper and buck your hips into his fingers eagerly, desperate for him.

"I'm sorry, daddy. Please-" He cut you off once again, his lips attacking yours furiously, his tongue slipping in and out of your mouth as he continues tracing your folds, soft whimpers escaping your lips against his. When he pulled away from your lips, his were sparkling with spit. 

"Never speak to me that way again. Understood?" He demands, and you nod your head frantically as he pushes your undies to the side, not bothering to remove them. 

He continues gripping your neck as he untucks himself from the sweats he changed into, releasing his aching cock. You moan simply from the sight, thoughts of him pounding into you flooding your brain.

"Tell me what you want." He commands, slowly and tauntingly tracing every crevice of his length with his finger. He was only inches away from your warm entrance. 

"I want you to fuck me." You groan as the words escape your lips, the vision of him teasing you growing too much to bare, your wetness leaking all over the papers, your sex swollen and begging for him. "Please."

He smirks before aligning himself with your entrance, one of his hands firmly on your hips as the other chokes you, his tip grazing your aching clit. You buck your hips into him on command, whimpering. 

"My needy little girl." He purrs, his lips attacking yours with dire need briefly, distracting you before he thrusts into you all at once, a cracked moan escaping your lips.

He thrusted into you at a steady pace, mewls passing through your mouth as he leans over and causes you to slowly collide with the counter, the cold granite sending shivers up your back as he thrusts inside of you patiently, leaning over you. 

You entangled one of your hands in his hair, fisting it and twirling it as your other hooks around his back, wrapping your legs around his torso as his lips still assault yours as if he was starving for your tongue. You moaned into his lips as he began picking up his speed, your wetness making him pound into you with ease, grunts leaving him while he chokes you and fucks you. 

"Look at you fall apart for me. You're pathetic. You're my pathetic girl." He growls, and when your only response was a moan he began pounding into you relentlessly, his hand squeezing your neck to the point you nearly passed out. "Say it." 

"I'm your p-pathetic girl." You manage to croak out, and he loosens his grip before you fall out of consciousness, and just like that, his cock finds your sweet spot and your toes curl, your nails digging along his back as you moan freely. 

His other hand left your hip and began circling your clit, your climax nearly at its edge. "May I cum?" You scream and groan, your legs squeezing his torso. 

"No." He says with a snicker, pulling out and removing himself from you altogether as soon as you found your climax. 

"Fuck!" You cry out, your body and sex aching and burning. You needed to cum. You felt tears forming in your eyes as he snickers, and you snake your hand down your body to touch yourself but his wrist catches you just in time.

"I didn't give you permission. Now finish your work." He waves a hand of dismissal at you and pulls away, tucking himself in his pants and releasing your throat. Your clit was throbbing and your juices were covering the table. You were frozen out of sheer shock, your need to cum still ringing in your ears. "Please. Please don't do this to me. Please." You whine, tears strolling down your sex flushed cheeks and burning the skin he slapped, ready to do anything just to cum.

"You did this to yourself." He mutters nonchalantly, and without another word to you he marched up the stairs. 

You laid there lifeless for awhile, your mind blank and trying to ignore the throbbing ache in between your legs, and your thighs simply brushing against you clit sent you over the edge, your ruined climax hitting and your cum leaking onto the counter. 

You sob- your body and sex aching and sensitive, craving affection after your climax was destroyed, emptiness erupted inside of you as you came with no pleasure. Tears were pouring down your cheeks and you were choking on your own spit from how hard you were crying. He has never been this much of an asshole to you, and you truly hate him in this moment. 

You hear the sound of the shower running upstairs and you know exactly what his goal is. A cold shower to cleanse himself of his own throbbing need. Tears still strolling down your cheeks, you hop off of the counter and leave your mess there unbothered as you drag your feet up the stairs, your sex was hurting awfully bad, causing you to cry more as you step into your bedroom. 

The door was slightly cracked open to the bathroom, and you could hear his grunts escaping the sound of water running and you roll your eyes, gathering your phone and fuzzy blanket off of the bed, your pillow as well. You were sleeping on the couch for the remainder of the night.

You removed your cum covered panties and placed them right on his pillow. You wanted him to know you came without his permission, even though it wasn't a pleasurable climax. You slide on a fresh pair and sprint out of the room as you hear the water shutting off. 

You collapsed to the couch, wrapping yourself up in your fluffy blanket and nuzzling your face into your silk pillow, just wanting to fall asleep and forget about the soreness between your legs, when you hear those steps again. 

"Go away." You mumble against the pillow as your hear his feet colliding with the tile once again. He doesn't stop until he's leaning over the back of the couch and staring down at you, his soaking hair dripping pallets of water all over you, your drenched panties hanging off one of his fingers. His gaze was deadly, if looks could kill. You rolled your eyes and turned the opposite way.

"Leave me alone." You say through new tears starting to form, as pathetic as it sounded you were truly upset. He circles around the couch until he's right in front of you, and he crouched down to be directly in front of your face, fully naked and wet except for the towel clutching his waist. He caressed you cheek as he brushed hair out of your face.

"I didn't mean to make you upset." He sighs as he brushes your tear away, softening his angry voice then booping your nose, and your eyes flutter shut from his gentle touch, temporarily forgetting you were mad. 

"It isn't fair. You were the one being mean to me first." You pout like a child, turning away from him and facing the back of the couch. He begins stroking your back and you lift up your middle finger at him. "I'm going to sleep." It was silent for a moment, and he surprisingly obliged, but not without pressing an innocent kiss to the side of your head first. "I'll make it up to you." He whispers against your hair, pulling away and leaving without another word.

————

You awake to the sound of the coffee machine whirring, and you groan loudly while thrashing your legs, covering you face with the pillow from the sound. You were exhausted, and the sound only grew louder. 

"Shut the fuck up," You yawn, stretching your legs out and arching your back with a grunt. You hear a deep chuckle and lift the pillow from your head instantly, craning your neck up and off the armrest, and from your upside down view you spot Kylo rounding the counter with coffee in his hand, in a formal dress shirt and pants.

"Good morning to you too." 

You grumble and cover you face with the pillow again, cocooning yourself further into the couch and under the blanket. Your blissful sleep made you forget you were angry at him, but the fact he was being obnoxiously loud in the morning was making it easier to remember.

You mumble something inaudible as you hear him maneuver his way around the coffee table, and the couch dips by the end, before he lifts your feet and places them in his lap again. 

"I can't hear you when your face is covered." He says seriously, taking a noisy sip of coffee- the smell of the fresh grounds flooding your nostrils as he removes the pillow from your face roughly, throwing it on the floor.

"Are you done sulking now?" He asks with a smirk, his eyebrows raised, bringing his coffee to his lips. You bite your lip to suppress a devious smile, shrugging in response, cuddling further under the blankets and tucking the top of the blanket under your chin. 

He lifts a hand and placed it on your thigh, stroking up and down gently as he continued drinking his coffee, a comfortable silence fell between the two of you- and you nearly fell asleep again from his soft touch, your face nuzzled back into the pillow and your hands tucked under it. 

He suddenly slaps your blanket covered thigh and you jolt awake, opening your eyes and glaring at him only to see a smug look plastered on his face. "Ouch." You whine dramatically, and he smirks while gently rubbing the spot on your thigh he slapped, his other fingers tapping the mug- and that's when you noticed a change. His wedding ring was gone.

"You should go up to bed now. I'm leaving soon." He says, taking another drink of coffee. You sit up slowly and stretch, scooting closer to him. He glances at you before looking back to the mug and holding it out in front of your lips. You take a sip, the hot and bitter flavor consuming your tongue.

You hum in appreciation, leaning your head sideways to rest on the couch cushion, closing your eyes as he continues to stroke your thigh tenderly. Then you remember- the school will collect everything you need out of your locker for you and have you pick them up so you had all your materials at home... and Poe's fucking vape is in there.

You groan obnoxiously, rubbing your face before placing your hand on top of his. "I have to go too." You say, lifting your head to look at him. You were afraid they were going to find it in your locker and you would be further punished.

"Why?" He asks incredulously, placing his coffee on the table and setting his full attention on you. Your cheeks grow hot and your heart beats rapidly in your chest, you knew how pissed he would be if he knew you had a vape, even if it wasn't yours. You shrugged and averted your gaze to the floor nervously. 

Suddenly, his large hand wraps around the back of your neck and yanks your face to his when you didn't respond, only a few inches away, his breath tickling your face as his dark eyes stare you down. You swallow harshly, his gaze intimidating. 

"Tell me. What are you hiding?" He demands, and you were startled about how easily he caught on. His grip on the back of your neck slightly tightens, and instead of responding you push your lips into his, kissing him hungrily before he pulls away sharply with a grunt and in one swift motion, slings you over his shoulder. You squeak as you dangle off of him and the arm of the couch, your legs flailing up and down. 

His hand collides with your ass with a harsh smack and you yelp, biting your lip to suppress the sound. He massages the spot he slapped and stands up, your frame still hanging off of his shoulder. "I'm not in the mood for this shit today. Now tell me." He growls as he marches up the stairs, your body bouncing up and down with each step. 

You inhale sharply as he runs his hand up and down the back of your thigh. "I can't-"

He spanks you again harder and it stings, your barely covered ass surely bright red. You squeal as you jolt forward against his shoulder, and he kicks your bedroom door open with his foot. 

Once you reach the bed, he sits on the edge and flips you over and splays you across his lap, your ass high in the air and your stomach flush with his thighs as he holds you up with his legs which were planted on the floor. He traces every curve of your bottom before squeezing it roughly, and tugging your underwear down to your mid thigh.

"Enough. Say it, or i'll make it really hurt." He barks, slapping your ass again. You squeak, your hands clutching onto the bed sheets. There was no way he had time for this, and quite frankly you didn't either. You needed to get that vape out of your locker- but you were intrigued, desperate even. You wanted this. So you were going to misbehave.

"No." You chuckle, and he grunts as he rips his belt off in one quick movement and the black tie he had chose to wore, and he snatches your wrists and ties them behind your back with his tie, before the rough leather and metal clasp of his belt collide with your ass.

You scream out, the sensation horribly painful and desirable all at once. You feel tears welling up in your eyes and you squirm in the restraint, his other hand snatching a load of your hair in his hands and snapping your neck up to turn and look at him and you whimper.

"We'll do this again until you get it right." He says simply, and he yanks your head back further and bucks his clothed cock into your soaked sex. "Say it." 

You were unable to form words, spit lodged in your throat, and you simply shake your head no as your eager for more. He snickers wickedly and the belt collided with your cheeks harder then before, the skin tingling and burning as you cry out, tears strolling down your cheek as you squirm against his hardening length. "You want more don't you? Beg." He orders, his hand coming back to caress the aching skin on your bottom. 

You whimper as he touches the burning skin. "Please, daddy." You plead, and he brings down the belt to your ass again and you jolt forward, a cracked moan escaping your lips as your butt is now completely numb, the skin broken and sore, surely bruised as well. 

"Are you ready to tell me? Or do I have to break you?" He asks slow and tauntingly, massaging your bottom once again. You nod frantically, tears flowing down your hot cheeks. You loved it, except it hurt like hell.

"I-I have a vape in my locker and they're going to find it." You manage to whine out, and with your response he smacks your ass again but with his palm and lighter- still painful, the skin buzzing.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" He growls, his hand still yanking your hair. You were too distracted by the tingling in your ass to care how angry he got. 

"It isn't mine." You say quietly, your neck aching and cracking. He kneeds the flesh of your burning ass with both hands now, your head lulling as he let's go of your hair, and he sighs and helps you up after finishing your massage. 

He stands up and helps you regain your balance, you were lightheaded and you could barely stand from the pain in your rear end. "I'll take care of it. Don't worry." He says suddenly consolingly, leaning down and kissing your head as he holds both of your arms to keep you standing, before he pulled up your underwear and gently lays you back on the bed and covered you up with a blanket.

Holy fuck it hurt, you whimpered as your ass touched the sheets, stinging it. He noticed and flipped you over to lay on your stomach, palming the flesh of your raw and bruised skin in his massive hands. 

"Kylo," You whimper from the gesture which was soothing the burn slightly, "You should go. You're going to be late." You say with a hushed tone, and he removes his tie from your wrists finally and tugs it back on. You sit up with the best of your ability, your ass tingling beneath you, as you stare him in the eyes and readjust his tie for him.

He smiles a genuine, toothy smile, his dimples displayed on his cheeks, an unfamiliar look on him- and it was beautiful, it sent warmth through your veins and endearment in your heart. You finished fixing his tie for him and traced your finger down the buttons on his chest, biting your lip, and he leans forward and smoothed back the top of your hair before pressing a kiss there once again. 

"I'm already late." He claims, and you nudge him playfully. He slowly makes his way to the nightstand on his usual side of your bed, and he carefully placed his designer watch around his wrist- the dark, black diamonds reflecting the daylight seeping in from the window.

"Should've left earlier then, hm? Maybe I would be able to sit on my ass normally." You muse sarcastically with a giggle, and his face remained blank as he finished putting on his watch. 

"I'll always make time for you." He says, tone harsh and serious suddenly, not an ounce of kindness in his words, and you just nod in understanding. You knew he was right, time didn't have any value to him if it meant he could do shit like that to you, and it was the same on either end.

"I'm going to take a shower, i'll see you when you get back from work." You say, slowly standing up from the bed wobbly. 

He rushes over to you and grips onto one of your biceps, easing you back down. "That isn't a good idea. It will be painful... I can help you later." He suggests and you just nod as your bottom tingles when it touches the sheets, fisting his shirt in your hand as you wince. 

It was a pain like no other, but it was an exceptional one. A feeling that marked and reminded you of him, and you wanted to grasp the feeling even if it hurt. You almost enjoyed the ache in itself, the burning and buzzing sending tingles throughout you.

The only problem about it, was it was painful to the point it was going to be a struggle to move for the next few days or possibly more.

"It already hurts." You breathe urgently, your words running together, your eyes squeezing shut as you clutch onto him. It was astonishing how simple it was to break the skin of your sensitive flesh, and how you enjoyed it. 

"Mm. Are you going to be alright?" He asks, concern lacing his deep voice. You hesitate for a moment, considering tell him you aren't, but then you nod- but your tight grip which was refusing to leave his shirt said otherwise.

"Kylo, I-Please?" You weren't sure what you were asking for, but you saw the guilt spreading across his features, and you wanted him to fix it- even though there's not much he can do for you. "Whatever, just forget about me. Go, you're going to be even more late." 

His frown is visibly noticeable, and he presses a firm and apologizing kiss against your lips, his eyebrows furrowing as he pulls away and readjusts his button up shirt. 

"I'll pick up medicine and such to help the pain on the way back from school, mkay?" He cocks his head at you, and you nod. He was coming back again. He truly was going to take care of you. "Just be patient for me. If you need something call, i'll try to answer." He says, and he ruffles your hair like a child with a faint smirk while you smile up at him, before leaving the room without another word.

————

"It feels like it's on fire. I'm about to jump butt ass naked in the pool right now just so it will stop burning." You groan dramatically to Kylo on the phone, still laying with your ass high in the air to relieve the pain. 

"Do not do that."

"Fine, it just hurts. And why didn't you tell me there were fucking metal indents?" 

"I didn't want to scare you. I'll be there shortly, i'm in the middle of a class right now." He says accusingly and you huff and hang up without a goodbye. He was the one who said to call if you needed something- and you needed to complain.

You decided to finally try and get up after laying in bed all day, you were a little wobbly and your ass burned and ached with every step, but it wasn't dreadful. 

You attempted to pull on a pair of pants and that only hurt worse, so you said fuck it and remained in a t-shirt and undies. After awhile you grew accustomed to the pain as you walked around the house with no specific destination, until you went to sit down again, forgetting the aching. 

You yelp as you attempted to sit on the couch, your ass stinging and tingly. Tears pool in your eyes and you wince, the pain only growing worse instead of better the longer you left it unnoticed. You flailed your hands out and gasped.

As if on cue, you hear the faint sound of the car horn and the front door opens roughly, and you set your tear filled eyes to the door, your gaze meeting Kylo's. He looks genuinely upset about your current state, a drug store bag in his hand. You let out a breath of relief and slowly stand up.

"How do you feel?" He asks sincerely, shutting the door behind him and taking a few slow steps towards you. You shrug with your watery gaze fixated on him, you were glad he was back to fix you up. 

"It r-really hurts." You whine and he nods and stops in his tracks directly in front of you, before sitting down abruptly and leaning back comfortably, lazily. 

He pats his lap and gestures for you to spread across it as you did earlier, and you hesitantly oblige and lay across him. "Ass up." He commands blankly and you listen, arching your back slightly and keeping your ass high so he can get a better look at it. "There we go." He praises quietly, and he traces his fingers gently against the red flesh and you bite your lip while you wince, your view the arm rest of the couch. 

"Does this hurt?" He asks curiously, gently pressing into the skin, and you nod frantically as you take in a shaky breath. "Mm." Is his only response, and he temporarily removed his hands from your bottom to rummage through the plastic bag. 

You hear him opening something but you don't bother to look, your neck was growing weak from holding it up for so long. He tugs your underwear down to the backs of your knees and suddenly, a cold and soothing cream is plastered on the raw skin. The sensation is cool and tingly, and his large hands lather it around and massage it into your ass. You sigh appreciatively as he caresses and rubs your cheeks in delightful ways, the cream slowly calming the burning sensation. 

"What is that?" You ask through a content smile he can't see, and you hear him squeeze the bottle and gather more on his hands before rubbing it into you again.

"Antibiotic ointment." He replies simply, fixated on your raw and red skin, which was peeling and breaking where the metal had hit you. "Is it helping?"

You nod again, relaxation crashing into you like a wave. He uses one hand to pick up a throw pillow, and he gently eases your head up and places it beneath you, calming the slight pain in your neck from craning it.

"Thank you." You whisper against the fabric, your eyes fluttering shut as you focus on his hands working on your wounds, and he hums in acknowledgement, barely paying any attention to anything other than your ass. 

"I will help you take a shower later. I want you to relax right now." He says seriously at random, and your heart flutters in your chest. He genuinely cared, and it made up for the fact he did this to you at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick disclaimer to be made; this dynamic is not intended to portray a healthy relationship at all— the complete opposite, actually. this is extremely toxic and should not be romanticized in any real life scenario. thank you.


	12. Distraction from the Pain

You let out soft, content sighs occasionally as he kneeded the ointment into you, and that lasted for awhile, sitting in a comfortable silence as he did so. 

"Okay. Up." He says blankly after he was finished with a pat on your ass, and he pulls up your underwear and places his hands on your waist, standing you up between his legs. He smirks at you and places both hands on your ass, pulling you closer into his sitting frame. 

You smile and wrap your arms loosely around his neck as he looks up at you, and he drums the skin. It slightly burned, but the ointment really helped. "Is it better now?"

You nod and lean down to kiss him on the lips thankfully, his soft lips working along yours before he pulls you into his lap, your legs straddling him, his hands still on your ass as you pull away from the kiss. You stare at each other in silence for a moment, each of you scanning each other's beautiful features while he brings up a hand from your bottom and brushes your cheek with his finger, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. 

You were enjoying the relaxing moment when you remember the vape, and you gasp while placing a hand on his shoulder. "I still have to go get the vape." You say frantically, and he brings up his finger to shush you, a humorist look on his face.

"I took care of it." He says without further explanation, focusing specifically on your hair which was now twirling in his fingers. 

"How?" 

He sighs and brushes the hair he was twirling over your shoulder, his eyes finally meeting yours. "Don't worry. It's taken care of." 

You narrowed your eyes at him, expectant for an explanation, but he remained reluctant, so you just waved it off and placed another kiss to his plump lips. 

"How was school? Did the class do well with the new material?" You ask, one of your hands finding his hair now, massaging your fingers into his dark waves. 

He shrugged lightly and leaned into your hand, his lips twitching into a small smirk, both of his hands back to squeezing your butt. "Mm, it was fine. It's better with you there. You could've helped me today." He says seriously, and your cheeks turn pink. Was that a compliment? 

"Oh, really? You needed me?" You chuckle, and he narrows his eyes at you and pats your ass lightly, a gentle slap. You still winced, the cream could only do so much. The raw skin was still burning and tingling, just less anguished. 

"Careful." He grumbles, and you giggle at his seriousness. He suddenly leans forward and presses a delicate kiss on your neck, sending shivers up your spine. He grips your ass harder and begins sucking and kissing and you whimper. 

You come to your senses and realize this could only go one way, and you wouldn't be able to handle any rough sex right now, regardless of how much you wanted it. 

"Kylo," You breathe out, using your hand to gently nudge him away and he pulls away without question, his lips sparkling with spit. "That isn't a good idea right now." 

"I'll be gentle." He reassures, leaning in and kissing your neck again. You grasp his hair in your hand as he bites down and kisses you tenderly, pants passing through your lips as he sucks your pulse. 

He squeezes your ass a little too hard as he suckles on your neck, and you seethe. It will be impossible not to hurt you while you were in this condition, and he seemed to realize this too as he pulls away from your neck and loosens his grip on your bottom. 

A better idea comes to mind, and you smile at him wickedly, slowly dragging your hand down his chest until you find the hem of his pants, the same belt he spanked you with clutched tightly around it. 

You bite your lip and tug on it, and he smirks once he realizes what you're doing. You step off of his lap and get down on your knees in front of him eagerly and he leans forward, one hand gently clasping your hair and the other fumbling with his belt. 

He yanks it off and throws it to the side, unzipping his pants and releasing his hard length. Your mouth waters and you instantly leap forward and take it in your mouth, lapping his precum on your tongue and swirling it around the tip before sealing your lips and bobbing into him. 

He grunts and shoves his whole length down your throat and you gag, his hand yanking your hair now and directing you to his cock. You place both of your hands on his knees as you whimper against him, warmth spreading along your body as you suck and lick his shaft.

"You're such a good girl. Pleasing your daddy." He grumbles with a groan, your eyes on his as he sucks in deep breaths, his jaw clenching as he chokes back his pleasured sounds, his dark eyes burning through yours. 

You moan against him from his words, and he rams into you harder, his tip hitting the back of your throat and making tears form in your eyes, and you drop your jaw to take him fully, his pelvis rocking into your face. 

He fully pulls out of your lips for a moment, and you twirl your tongue in desirable ways against his tip before he groans and rams it back into you, choking on his massive size. 

"Fuck- You're my good little girl. You look perfect like this. You're Mine." He rambles, and his cock twitches in your throat, and without warning he thrusts into you harder, his hot load being released down your throat and you swallow around him as he groaned your name, making you shudder as you swallowed all of his cum. 

"You make daddy feel so good." He praises lowly, removing himself from your throat, your saliva and a small amount of cum remained on it. "Clean this up, then i'll help you shower." 

You obliged, licking the remains up and swallowing, and he pats your head before pulling away and tucking himself in his pants. You were too distracted with his cock to even notice the ointment was already starting to wear off, your ass tingling underneath your heels. 

"It hurts again." You whine, and he bends down and presses a soft kiss on your forehead before standing up. "I know." He says consolingly, gripping onto one of your arms to help you off of the floor.

He guides you upstairs and to the bathroom, and he was being rather patient with you as you winced after every slow step up the stairs, clutching onto his shirt as he placed a hand on your lower back.

Once you reach the bathroom, his hand lightly traces around the curve of your ass briefly before he trudged over to the shower and started the water, dipping his hand in and testing the temperate, and coming back and taking you by the wrist to help you over. 

You grip both of his shoulders to keep your balance as he tugs down your underwear, your shirt pulled off after. His eyes linger on your breasts, before he tugs off his own shirt and pants.

You felt more vulnerable than usual, the raw skin on your bottom the instigator. Your cheeks grow red as he looks you up and down, the pure fascination clear in his dark eyes. 

He averts his gaze to the shower curtain and he opens it slightly, and you hold onto his hand as you step inside. The hot water instantly collided with the burning skin and you yelp, jolting forward, and he steps in right behind you and blocks the water from crashing into you with his massive frame. 

You whimper as the skin continues tingling and stinging, and you brought a hand to rub it yourself but Kylo nudges your hand away and does the job for you. He gathers soap on his hands and lathers it up, one of his hands massaging your ass as the other worked on washing the rest of your body.

You were in awe as he stood behind you, your back mere inches away from his toned chest, as he used one hand to massage the soap all over your body, beginning at your shoulders, then your back. Then he took extra time on your breasts- squeezing and pinching, a whimper escaped your lips and you could hear his quiet, dark chuckle. 

He washed your stomach, arms, thighs, and anywhere else he missed that was in his reach, before crouching down, allowing the water to collide with your aching skin again, and he tenderly washes your calves. 

He spins you around to face him so the water isn't hitting your stinged skin, and he taps your ankles gesturing for you to lift them, and washes your feet as well before standing up. 

He watches over you carefully as he pulls you closer into him, both of his hands now rubbing your ass gently, kneeding it in his hands. He gently taps your cheeks and you jolt forward into him, both of your hands finding his chiseled chest. 

"Ow." You whimper, and he removes one hand from your bottom to cup the back of your head, leaning down and kissing you fervently, his tongue working along yours as if he hasn't kissed you in years. Passionate and hungry.

"I missed a spot." He mumbles lowly against your lips, and his hand leaves your head and travels down your body, rubbing your clit with his wet fingers. You whimper into his mouth and lean into his hand, nails dragging down his chest, not caring if your ass is on fire anymore.

"I want to distract you from the pain." He whispers in your ear, his warm breath mixing with the steam erupting from the hot water. He was still rubbing your clit and you were still clutching onto his skin, quiet and breathless moans escaping your lips as your nails scratch his chest. 

He spins you around to where the water collided with your back and soaked your hair, before ramming you into the tile walls behind the shower head, one hand catching your ass before it could collide with it. 

He instantly dropped to his knees, the water running down the back of his head and back, and he hoists your thighs up on his shoulders in one swift motion, your back flush with the wall, his breath hot against your swollen sex.

"Mm." He hums appreciatively as he inhales, and you squirm against him, his mouth so close to where you need him most. He presses soft kisses along your inner thighs, content sighs escaping your lips. You've been anticipating this moment ever since the night before. 

"What's my name?" He groans against your skin, his hands digging into your hips, and just as you opened your mouth to answer he licked a fat, wet line up your sex and you buck your hips into his face. "Daddy." 

He starts by slowly easing one finger into your soaked entrance, teasing you and you moan, instantly clenching around him. He begins thrusting it moderately, and he flicks your clit with his tongue and you entangle his hair in your hands, yanking him closer into you. 

"Yes," You pant enthusiastically, the pleasure overwhelming. Your body was tingling and your legs shook on his shoulders as he slowly eased a second finger in, pounding it into you. 

"Nobody gets to have you like I can. Nobody gets to please you this way." He mutters against your sex, sending vibrations throughout you, your toes curling. "You're my dirty little girl aren't you?"

"Yes, daddy." You moan, your whole body trembling as you get closer to the edge. He pushes his face further into you, lapping and sucking at your clit now, and you can feel the warm knot in your stomach forming.

Just when you thought the pleasure was at its peak, he thrusted a third finger into you and you gasp in surprise as you begin bucking your hips into his face, forgetting about the burning in your ass. 

"Mmm- Ah- Kylo." You blubber out, drool dripping down out of your mouth as he pounds three fingers into you, filling your hole and licking your clit. 

He pulled away from you suddenly and smacked your pussy and you yelped, your clit throbbing and stinging from the impact. "Try again." 

"Daddy!" You scream, and he begins thrusting relentlessly into you and attacked your sex with his lips again. "Cum." He growls, and it sent you over the edge immediately. He removes his fingers and licked all around your pussy, and you curse unknown words as you cum with no remorse into his mouth, your legs spasming and your jaw dropped open. 

He didn't stop there- he flicked your clit with his tongue again and you whimpered, the sensation overwhelming for your sensitive sex. "No more." You whine, your eyelids squeezing shut, and he only licks harder. 

"Mm- Too much." You grumble, your eyebrows furrowing from the overstimulation as he prods at your sex with his tongue. 

"You've had enough when I said you've had enough." 

"...Please." You weren't sure if you were begging for him to stop or continue, the pain slowly being washed over with pleasure once again, a second climax building quickly. Once you began letting out pants, he smirked against your sex as he sucked determinedly. 

"Good girl." He groans simply, and you cum instantly, the overstimulation made your climax come in a rush. He swallows your second load of cum and you moan dramatically, nails digging in his scalp. 

Your clit was stiff and aching as he pulled away and you whimpered. You were caught in a cloud of ecstasy- floating on pleasure and content, and he gently picks you up and removes you from his shoulders.

You were completely immobile. "I think you broke me..." You mumble seriously, gaze unbreaking from the wet porcelain floor beneath you. You were unable to process any thoughts, your legs shaking as Kylo used to hands to keep you standing. 

He chuckles hysterically, watching you caught in a daze. "Trust me, little girl. I haven't broken you yet." He says, and you don't obtain his words. You close your eyes and let the warm water collide with your body, still burning the   
skin on your ass. 

"Kylo. I'm broken." You whisper, you've never felt so desirably wrecked before, the constant pleasure and pain too much. You've never had someone handle you in such a majestic way. You shove your forehead against his chest and bow your head low. 

His demeanor changed when he saw your sudden lack of enthusiasm, and he uses one hand to cup your ass and the other to stroke the back of your head comfortably. He placed a kiss on your scalp as you stare blankly at your toes. 

"I forget your fragile sometimes." He mutters against your head before pulling away, and you finally have some sort of reaction- you giggle. 

"Is that funny?" He asks deadpan, pulling your face from his chest as you begin to laugh maniacally, his serious face making you laugh harder and you nod frantically. 

"I think we should get you to bed."

————

Once you exited the shower Kylo handled you as if you were the most delicate piece of architecture to exist. 

He dressed you in your underwear and one of his oversized cotton t-shirts, which smelled of his luxury cologne, and carried you wedding style to your bed.

He proceeded to wrap you up in a blanket and place a kiss on your forehead, and you smiled appreciatively at him as he did so, tucking you in under your sheets. You decided to take advantage of the fact he was babying you, and you point to the TV in your room, suggesting for him to turn it on. 

He sighs and glares at you, picking up the remote from the nightstand, turning it on, and tossing the remote in your direction. 

"Thanks, daddy." You muse sarcastically, and his face twitches before he turns for the bedroom door, his steps strong and stable as usual. 

"I'll be right back." 

He walks out of the room without another word, and you stare blankly at the empty doorway for a moment before fumbling for your phone on the bed somewhere, and once you find it you pick it up and realized you had six missed calls from your parents. 

You called your mom back, you weren't prepared to handle any of your fathers wrath. It rings for a few seconds and you tap your phone nervously as you sit up, winching with pain when she answers. 

"I have all of my work caught up. Stop worrying about me." You say as soon as she answers. 

"That's good. It isn't about that though, we just wanted to let you know we'll be staying here in Boston for another week or two, things got hectic after the meeting this evening." 

Your eyes widen in glee and you pump your arm up and down excitedly. The longer they were gone the better, and the more time Kylo got to spend here with you, considering that he kept coming back to you every night.

"Oh okay, see you then."

"Yup, continue doing your work and keep your grades up."

"Alright. Well I gotta go... do homework." You lie and hang up without another word, and you slam your phone excitedly and jump up from the bed for a brief second, when you hear footsteps coming up the stares and you hurry back in your position from before, wrapped in a blanket. 

Kylo walks in the room with an eyebrow raised, and you struggle to contain your smile, biting your lip to suppress it as you wrap the blanket around your head as well, your legs crossed. 

"So..." You begin, and he watches you attentively as he sits next to you on the bed. "My parents will be gone for another week. If you want to... um. If you want to stay with me for longer you can." You flash him a bright toothed smile, and he just nods. 

His blank reaction made you frown a bit, and you knew he would surely need some space to himself. You form a plan on leaving the house tomorrow and letting him have his alone time for the Saturday. 

You think to yourself of things you can do, when you settle on your typical activity- photography. You weren't sure at what destination, but that wasn't a necessary factor until later. 

"I'm going to leave tomorrow," You begin, and your face must give your intentions away for his eyebrows furrow as he turns his head sharply to look at you. You opened your mouth to speak but he shook his head. 

"No." He stands up abruptly from the bed again, and he paces back in forth. You eye him wearily and sigh. "I just figured you might... want some space. I guess." You stutter nervously, and he shakes his head again while pursing his lips and swallowing harshly. 

"I do. But not from you. From everybody else." 

Your eyes widen at his response and he sits back down again, clasping his abnormally large hands in his lap, eyeing the TV idly, not truly watching it. You were shocked he wasn't tired of you already, and your heart flutters.

You want to be with him, and you want to be here for him through all of this. The divorce. The technicality of his mental health being decent if doing this alone was unlikely- and you wanted to be the one to help him, even if you were unsure of what the two of you were.

"I'm still going tomorrow. You can come with me." You beam at him, and he hesitates before he nods.

"Where are you planning on going?" He asks stiffly, shifting in his spot and leaning against the headboard, directly next to you. His hand brushed against yours, and you hesitate before interlocking your fingers with his.

"I don't know yet. I just wanted to take some pictures." 

"Mm." He hums in acknowledgement, leaning his head back further and squeezing your hand slightly tighter. "I know another thing we could do. It will be a fun... learning experience for you." He breathes stiffly, and you raise your eyebrows at him. You wondered what he could have in store for you. You knew whatever it was, you would love it.

"What is it?"

He sighs and slowly turns his head to face you, still leaning against the headboard. "You'll see. You might not like it. But I want to teach you. It will be interesting to say the least." 

It was a relief he wanted to spend time with you, you were starting to worry it was all becoming too much for him, and you're thankful to say it's not.

There was silence for awhile, his eyelids sealed shut and his head titled upwards as he held your hand. You were just watching a random series on netflix, curled up in the blanket, only your hand and head exposed as you chuckled occasionally at the show.

"Are you hungry?" Kylo asks at random, tilting his head down and using his other hand to brush the hair out of your face so your eyes could meet. 

You simply shook your head no, you were way to comfortable to move, and you were just not hungry. You were slightly queasy now that you thought about it. 

"What did you eat today?" 

You shrugged, you could tell by his tone he wasn't going to let it go. You frowned and averted your gaze back to the show playing, and his free hand pinched your jaw to turn you to look at him. 

"What's wrong?" His tone was dark and quite worried. He reads you like a damn book, it's almost alarming. 

"I just feel a little nauseous. That's all. I have been recently." You say shyly, patting your stomach. His eyes widen a bit, and he lets go of your hand and scooted to the end of the bed, perching his elbows on his thighs and bringing his finger to the top of his lip, seemingly deep in thought.

You crawl over to him with the blanket still wrapped around you, and just when you were about to sit on your bottom he placed a hand there and kept you off of your ass, not looking at you as he did so. 

"Are you on birth control?" He swallows harshly, his jaw clenching as his fearful eyes found yours nervously, and you freeze in your spot. You were on the pill, yet you were terrified.

"Yes. Yes." You say frantically, your cheeks growing red. You rip yourself from his grip and stand up suddenly, clutching the blanket closer to you and pacing back and forth. You weren't sure why you were feeling anxious and clammy now, maybe it was his tone- almost convincing you that you could be pregnant even though that's not possible.

"Hey, hey. I didn't mean anything. Just a precaution." He hushes consolingly as he stands up to meet you with his arms opened, and your heart beats rapidly in your chest as you lightly wrap your arms around him, his engulfing you gently, his chin resting on your head. 

You felt a new, strangely comforting feeling, a cozy sense. It was a feeling you were growing contently accustomed to the longer you spent time with him, in his arms.


	13. Brutal, passionate Mistake

It was the crack of dawn, the morning dew lingering on all the windows, the soft amber of the sun rising slowly pouring into your room, when you feel a soft finger tracing your jaw.

You shift in your spot under the sheets, your legs still entangled with Kylo's, your eyelids still sealed shut and your lips parting, turning away from his finger. "It's time to get up." His low and raspy morning voice whispers warmly in your ear, now tracing and booping your nose.

You smile faintly, refusing to open your eyes as his finger grazes the arch of your nose, memorizing the curve of it. "Come on." His voice was louder this time, but still soft.

"It's early." You grumble, tucking your hands under your cheek when you turned to face him, your eyes fluttering open.

His dark shoulder length hair was messy and untamed, his eyes and lips slightly puffy with sleepiness, his shirtless body barely tucked away under the soft sheets. Sexy.

His finger now begins tracing your lips lightly, his eyes focused purely on them. You kissed his finger gently and his gaze met yours. "We have a long day ahead." He mumbles, seemingly snapping out of a trance and turning away, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. 

You squirm beneath the sheets and stretch, sitting up on your side and staring blankly out the window, still waking up when his hand brushes your shoulder. 

He waves a hand at you and you unzone yourself out, shaking your head swiftly before stepping out of bed and following him downstairs, into the kitchen. 

You climb the barstool and prop your elbow on the counter, holding up your head with your hand as you squint your eyes, watching him brew a cup of coffee. 

When finished, he stands on the opposite side of the counter and blows into the mug before holding the cup out to your lips, and you take a calm sip and hum in appreciation, smiling happily. 

He smirks and takes a sip of it on his own, the mug looking tiny in his large hands as he holds it loosely.

"So what's the plan, big guy?" You ask, opening your mouth slightly and gesturing for another sip, and he holds it out to you again as you take a large gulp. 

"I want to take you out on my boat. It's a good distraction from everything that's happening." He waves a hand of dismissal as he speaks and takes another drink.

Your jaw drops to the floor excitedly, and you smile the biggest smile you could manage with your still sleepy muscles. 

"Kylo!" You yell excitedly, and he slightly tensed and flashes you a bewildered look, taking another sip of coffee as his eyebrows furrowed. "I'm excited." You mumbled through a giggle.

His whole body seemed to relax and he smirked as he clutched the mug, his other fingers tapping the counter. "Good."

You sigh contently, still smiling as you do grabby hands for the mug and he hands it to you completely, leaning away from the counter and drumming it with his hands. 

"I need to go and get the boat from the house." He says carefully, averting his gaze to the granite countertops, and you reach out a hand and squeeze his reassuringly. 

"I'll leave here in a few minutes, get ready when i'm gone." 

You nod and he squeezes your hand back before letting it go and heading for the stairs, and you stare at his toned and chiseled body as he trudged up them, smiling against the mug as you brought it to your lips.

You felt an overwhelming sense of endearment for Kylo. You knew your feelings were much more... difficult than that, but you also knew you had to be patient for him.

When he returned downstairs, your heart skipped a beat and your eyes widened- that sense blooming into a new, overgrown flower of adoration. He was wearing a white t-shirt, red and black checkered flannel, a ball cap and black cargo shorts- his large calves and knees revealed, the sexy yet shocking clothing was unlike him, he was normally covered in button up shirts and ties; formal.

Your breath hitches in your throat when his eyes meet yours, adjusting the collar on his flannel, and he smirks at you knowingly while heading for the door and fumbling with his car keys in one hand. 

"Are you going to be my good little girl until I get back?" His voice was husky and laced with seduction, and you feel your hands go weak around the mug as you nod eagerly. 

"Good. I shouldn't be long." He mumbles, and he exits out the front door. You blink rapidly to rid your mind of him and the suffocating feeling, and you hop off of the barstool, your ass burning slightly, and you drag your feet to the fridge, opening it up and eating strawberries straight out of the container. 

You head back up stairs when you're finished and change into a fresh gray t-shirt and jean shorts, pulling on a pair of white nike's. You've never been on a boat before, except for a yacht when you would go on vacations, and you were beyond excited for the experience you were about to face with Kylo. 

You wash your face, brush your hair and teeth, and make sure you have the things you need, and just as your walking down the stairs you hear the front door opening. 

"You ready?" Kylo cocks his head at you from the doorway and you nod with a smile, and he holds the door open for you as you walk out. You gave him a key to the house earlier in the week, and he used it to lock the door behind you. 

There was a noticeable change in his mood since when he left the house- as if there was an occupation subconsciously nibbling at him, but he refused to take part or make it visible to you, and you brush it off of the forefront of your mind. 

"The boat is already docked down at the lake."   
He says simply as you walk to the car, and you notice fishing pools and other equipment in the back seat of his Porsche, and he fumbled with something in the back and pulled out another flannel that matched his.

You smile cheerily as he holds it out for you, and you turn around and slip your arms through the sleeves and he adjusts it on you. It was way too big, the hem nearly went to your knees and the cuffs of the sleeves were covering your hands. 

He admired you for a second before you hop into the car and he shuts the door for you, circling the car onto his side and revving the engine, pulling out of the driveway swiftly.

He places his hand on your thigh as he speeds through your neighborhood, subconsciously squeezing and brushing it with his thumb, his eyes directed on the road. 

He was focused on the road ahead, trapped in his own daze. You were slightly antsy, tapping your foot against the floor, and the ride went like this for around half an hour until you arrived at the entrance of the lake. 

The car snaked through the curves and turns of the cracked roads, hidden away in the depths of the forest surrounding you, until you pull up to a docking bay- numerous boats displayed in the water. 

————

The boat swayed and rocked slightly back in forth with the waves of the water, the brightness of the sun was reflecting against the surface. You heard Kylo fumbling with a bag, but your gaze was strictly set on the lively, beautiful water surrounding you. 

You saw him approaching you in your peripherals, and suddenly his hands collide gently with your cheeks, a cold cream being rubbed into your face.

"What are you doing?" You mumble breathlessly, attempting to turn your head away frantically, but one of his hands holds your face in place. 

"Stop squirming. It's sunscreen." He demands, rubbing it into your cheeks and then your forehead. You whine and continue trying to move your face, and he dabs sunscreen on your nose and walks away when he's finished.

"I know how to put on sunscreen."

"Mm."

He places the sunscreen back down and instead pulls a ball cap out that was similar to the one on his head, and he walks back over and places it on top of yours. It drooped a bit, it was too loose for your head and you giggle as he removes it.

"That won't work." He mumbles more to himself, and instead he removes the hat and untucks a pair of sunglasses out of one of his numerous pockets, and he places them snuggly on your face. 

"There we go." 

You adjust them on your face and continue taking in the gorgeous atmosphere around you. The birds soaring, the waves crashing into the shore, the swaying of trees in the distance on land. You hear more ruffling and don't pay any mind to it, zoning yourself out and closing your eyes as the crisp breeze blows lightly.

"Come here." Kylo says after a few moments, and you open your eyes to see a fishing pool in his hands, beckoning you with two fingers. You oblige, standing up out of the leather seat you had been sitting in while pulling your hair up into a loose, low bun with strand hairs and placing the sunglasses on your head, walking over to him, your hands on your hips. 

"This is a fishing pool," He begins as if you were completely clueless, and you narrow your eyes at him, a humorous smirk barely tugging on the corner of his perfect lips. "This is the rod. This is the crank. Here's the hook." He points at everything he named, and you nod, your full attention on him now. 

"You have to know how to put the bait on first." He says, and you stare at him blankly as he pulls out a plastic container from the cooler next to his feet. Worms.

"Ew." Your upper lip curls as he grips a worm and pulls it out of the dirt filled container, squirming in his massive hand. He tries to hand it to you and you take a step back, flashing him a disgusted look.

"I am not touching that." You mutter, and there was no humor left in his face, a warning plastered all over it. 

"Y/N." He says darkly, beckoning you again, and you sigh defeatedly while taking a step closer. He snatches your wrist and guides your hand to the hook helping you place the worm on it. 

"Now, this is how you cast it. If you feel a tug on the end, just real the crank right here." He directs your hand to the crank and he hands you the pool, taking a step back. 

"Mm..." You hum, staring blankly at the rod as if you hadn't obtained a word he said. He sighs and steps behind you, your back flush with his chest, and he walks you over directly to the edge of the boat with his hands on your elbows. 

"Like this." He mutters against your hair, and he guides your arms to pull the pool back a bit, and then he casts it far out with your hands, the string and hook soaring across the water and landing a good bit away. "And now we wait." 

You rest your elbows on the edge of the boat as you hold the pool tightly in your hand, and he removes himself from you and mimicked your actions directly beside you. He watched you with a smirk on his face as you watched the bobber, waiting for it to move.

"Why is it taking so long?" You ask already, and he huffs in amusement, walking over to the cooler and pulling out a bottle of beer, using his teeth to pop off the cap as he walks back to his original spot, leaning next to you.

"You have to be patient." 

You don't respond to that comment as he takes a few good sips of his beers, and you nudge him with your elbow and smile. "Can I have one?" You ask, tilting your head towards the cooler and he shakes his head no firmly. 

"Absolutely not." He says blankly, staring out at the water as he took another sip. You pout, sighing obnoxiously and turning your head the opposite way, sighing loudly again. 

"Don't pout. You know better." 

You snap your head to look at him and roll your eyes, and he was about to say something when you felt a tug on the pool and you squealed excitedly, and he placed his beer down, wiping the residue of the cold bottle on his flannel. 

You begin cranking the real quickly, and he puts a hand on top of yours. "Slower." He says quietly, and you huff and listen, cranking the real in slower when you see the flopping on the surface of the water, a small fish appearing. 

Kylo leans forward over the edge and grabs the string, guiding the fish up into the boat. It flipped and twirled along the floor and you stared at in awe, as he crouched down and pulled out a pair of tweezers and ripped the hook from its mouth. 

"You hurt it." You say meaningfully, frowning as blood leaves the fishes mouth, and he only glances at you before standing up and offering you it. 

"Hold it like this." He gestures to the way he's holding it, his hands covering the finns, and he hands it to you. You yelp as its slippery and squirms in your hands, your eyes widening as you see the blood and water dripping down your hand. 

"Kylo, it's bleeding on me." You say deadpan, too afraid to move, your hands squeezing the fish as it tries to flip out of your hand. "What do I do with it?" You ask frantically, staring at the fish. 

"We will keep it and use it as bait for the bigger fish." He says nonchalantly, and you look up at him horrifically, still squeezing the fish.

"What? No!" You yell seriously, startled by his words. The fish was beginning to go lifeless in your hand and you panic, tossing it back in the water. 

Kylo palms himself in the face as you wipe your hand off on your pants, and he rubs his face furiously before taking a deep breath and clenching his jaw, staring at the spot you threw the fish. "If you look at it that way this won't be any fun, baby."

Your cheeks grow pink and you smile lightly at the name he called you, and he didn't even acknowledge the fact he called you baby. He took a ginormous drink off his beer, slamming it back down on the edge of the boat and wiping his lips with the back of his arm.

"I just feel bad." You say simply, sighing and leaning both arms against the edge of the boat now. 

"They're just fish." He huffs with amusement, raising his eyebrows at you as if he was in disbelief. The comment slightly pissed you off, and you glare at him before dragging your feet back to the spot you had been sitting in and plopping down into it dramatically. 

"What are you doing? Come back over here." 

"No."

He clenches his jaw firmly and wet his lips, rolling his eyes as he dangled his hands off the edge of the boat, staring blankly for a moment as you huffed and crossed you arms, standing up and heading back to your original spot next to him defeatedly.

"Do you want me to try again?" You ask sympathetically, trying to brighten the mood again, and he waves a hand and brings his beer with him as he walks away and sits down in a seat under the shaded cover, directly in front of the steering wheel. 

There was silence for a moment and he stared blankly at the floor, taking occasional sips of his beer without blinking. When you walk over in his direction to sit in the chair next to him, he pulls you into his lap, cradling you like a baby, his face blank of any and all emotion except for the twitch of his lip as he stares down at you. 

Silence. Empty and overwhelming silence.

"My wife is pregnant." He says suddenly and blankly, the flawless atmosphere around you corrupting into ruins at your very feet, pins and needles stabbing at every individual limb attached to your body. 

"I didn't want to talk about this now, but." 

His words were muffled and distorted in your ears. You were overtaken by trembles, shaking relentlessly while your breath hitched as it escaped your now dry throat, a heaviness displayed on your weakening heart. 

You had the sudden urge to throw up, and you jumped off of his lap even though he tried to pull you towards him and ran to the edge of the boat, clawing at it wildly as you gagged and puked in the unsuspecting depths of the lake. 

You felt his hand pressing against your arm and you yank it away, your eyes sealed shut as you take in shaky breaths and try to focus on the breeze blowing in your hair, your mind whirring down a black hole of thoughts. 

"Don't touch me." You rasp, a tear gliding down your warm cheek as you take another step away from him. When you opened your eyes they met his, the darkness usually overtaking them was sealed with a beautiful hazel, his chest heaving as he watched you back away from him. 

"H-how could-" You cut yourself off with a sniffle, more salty tears streaming down your face. The guilt was visible all over his tense features, and you shook your head frantically as you sat down in your original seat, your body spasming in unknowing ways. 

This was all a mistake. A brutal, passionate, mistake. A mistake you loved. You loved him.

You broke down into endless tears, clasping your face in your hands as you sobbed into them, caught in a haze of disbelief and sorrow. 

"Don't cry." Kylo coos, walking over and beginning to rub your back, and you nudge him away, removing your hands from your tear soaked face and staring out at the blue brightness of the clouds, not able to bring yourself to look him in the eye. 

"Take me home." You say breathlessly, using the back of your hand to wipe your tears, and he stands there without moving watching over you carefully. 

"Please." You whisper, squeezing your eyes shut, and he slowly makes his way back to the wheel and he starts the boat back up, and you don't say another word to each other as he speeds back to land. 

Once your reach the dock, you don't even wait for him to stop the boat before climbing out and marching away without glancing at him. You left him to gather all of his things and made your way to the parking lot, and once you found the car you got into the passenger seat and slouched down, zoning out on the dashboard as your brain digs deeper and deeper into a pit of depression, heartbreak. 

This meant you could never be together. This meant things would never be the way you had hoped they would be all of this time. 

After a good 10 minutes, the back door to the Porsche opens and he settled all of his stuff in the back, making sure everything was in place before getting in the drivers seat. He was staring at you attentively, and he placed a hand over yours desperately. 

"Talk to me." He says softly, brushing your knuckles with his thumb, and you don't make an effort to face him or even glance at him. You couldn't form any words. 

"Why..." You begin with a whisper, and your throat begins to feel as if it was closing in and you shut your mouth quickly, another tear gliding down your cheek. He uses his free hand to brush it away lightly. 

"You love her, huh? You want to have a baby with her and completely forget about me, don't you? Tell me!" You demand bitterly at random, your tear soaked eyes finally meeting his as you removed your hand from his and wave your free hand frantically, your heart feeling as if it shattered into a million pieces at what you thought was reality. 

"No. I don't. I want you," There wasn't an ounce of hesitation in his firm and consoling tone. His honesty made a difference, changed everything.


	14. You will always be my Little Girl

New feelings crashed into you like a massive wave, drowning you in forbidden love and excruciating passion, one you were so desperately trying to unleash yourself from before the words left his mouth- the words that changed everything. 

"I want you, too." You whisper, a bubble of spit popping in your mouth as tears stroll down your cheeks and you finally meet his penetrating gaze, and he cups your head and pulls it into his chest, allowing you to cry into the soft fabric of his cotton t-shirt. 

It was all overwhelming- you wanted him in unimaginable ways, ways that could never work out now. 

"Kylo... we can't do this anymore." You sniffle against his chest and he pulls your head away, a flame of urgency and pure fear burning in his eyes as he wipes your tears away frantically. 

"You will always be my little girl. No matter what." 

Things escalated from there.

You attacked his mouth with yours as soon as the words rolled off of his tongue, swirling your tongue around his hungrily, needing his lips on yours as reassurance, a reminder that he has chosen you and you chose him, regardless of what punishment or consequences may follow. 

You press your lips into his further, every inch of your faces colliding and brushing against each other, and when he brings a hand to your ass and lifts you up, pulling you over the console and into his lap, straddling him, you moaned into his mouth, the kiss getting wetter and sloppier. 

He removes one hand from your bottom to lean the seat back further, the same hand snaking up your body and finding your throat, clutching it firmly as you kiss him passionately and breathlessly, grinding against his clothed length as he parts his lips against yours and groans. 

He takes his hand away from your throat and unbuckles his belt, throwing it in the passenger seat as his hand squeezes and pinched the burning flesh of your ass, you groan into his mouth and he unzips his pants, revealing his massive length as you worked at your own pants, not unlatching your mouths for a second. 

You threw your pants to the side as well and he tugs on your panties, simply shoving them to the side, and his free hand grips your hip firmly. He eases you down slowly and tauntingly on his throbbing cock, and you moan into his mouth as you accommodate his massive length. 

He bucks his hips and thrusts into you moderately and you moan as he fills you up, and he removes his mouth from yours and you tilt your head to the side, his lips find the sweet spot on your neck, sucking and kissing lustfully, his cock pounding up into you as both of your hands wrap around and scratch his back, pants and whimpers leaving your lips. 

"I fucking- mm, daddy." You moan breathlessly, feeling helpless and needy, needing him and wanting him in every way possible. He grunts at that and pounds into you harder, and you help by using your legs to fuck yourself with his length, gliding up and down his shaft rapidly as you moan freely.

"My naughty little girl. You don't care if someone sees us do you?" He breaths lowly, thrusting up into you with ease with a groan, and you shake your head and find his lips again, one hand cupping his cheek as you search his mouth throughly with yours. You hadn't even thought about the people, and you didn't care. 

"Do you?" He barks, yanking you back by your hair and you whimper, sweat forming on every crevice of his and your skin, the windows fogging up from the rush of sex. 

"No." You groan, biting your lip to suppress your moans as he fucked you rapidly, your eyelids squeezing shut and pressing your forehead on his shoulder as you slide up and down his throbbing cock, your body beginning to shake with every thrust. 

"Do you want them to see who gets to have you like this?" 

"Yes," You rasp breathlessly, and one of his hands leaves your bottom and he nudged your head away from his shoulder, shoving two fingers down your throat without warning.

You suck and gag as he begins rolling down the foggy window next to you, still pounding into you relentlessly with no hands guiding you, and once the window is down you get hit by a cool breeze which slightly eased the sweat, his dick driving further into you and his fingers thrusting into your mouth. 

"Do you think you deserve to cum?" He asks through a grunt, bucking into you impossibly faster and you muffled a yelp by sucking harder on his fingers, when his other hand trails to your clit, and he begins rubbing rough and swift circles into you and your moan comes out broken and eager, every breath you took overtaken by desire and greed. 

"Yes, please." You whine as you feel the warm knot forming in your stomach, the pleasure becoming overwhelming as he rubs into you and thrusts deeply into your gut, suddenly striking your spot with his cock and you scream. 

You moan loud enough for the entire docking bay to hear through the open window, one of your hands fisting his dark locks roughly as he grunts and groans, his shaft easing in and out of you and causing your climax to build.

"Cum for me and scream my name. I want everyone to hear." He whispers in your ear, and you nod frantically as he rubs your clit impossibly rougher, your climax crashing into you quickly. "D-daddy," You scream out, your legs shaking and toes curling, your core clenching as you milked his cock, and he came after you. 

You pressed your foreheads together as you caught your breaths and he rolled the window back up without his eyes leaving yours, still not pulling out as you feel the pulse of his cock throbbing inside of you, caught in a daze of euphoria. 

You had no words to speak on the subject, and he places a soft kiss to your lips, a saddened smile forming on yours. The awful reality came flashing in vibrant colors- things will never be perfect between you two, and that is going to be a rocky mountain to climb together. 

You were prepared to make that descent.

You sigh and slide off of his cock, cum dripping down your thighs. He readjusts your underwear for you and pats you on the ass and leans the seat back up. You get up off of him and climb over to your spot in the passenger seat, not a word exchanged as you hand him his belt and tug on your pants. 

The mood was in desperate need of lightening, and you search through each window wearily, hoping to discover a source that had the power to change the subject; and when you saw the hurdle of people staring in your direction with fear overtaking their features, you were about to say something, but your lips refused to unpurse themselves.

Kylo places his usual hand on your thigh and starts the car, one hand gripping the wheel as he sped past the flock of unsuspecting strangers and down the curvy roads.

There was a heaviness hanging over you even as you thought you released it all just moments before. A pitiful emotion burdening your pounding heart. You loved him, and despite the situation you wanted things to work out with him...

Except if his wife is pregnant, you can't trust yourself to make the best decision for you. You will always choose the best thing for everyone else- and this wasn't an exceptional situation to seek out everybody else first. Not Kylo, not his wife, and not his potential baby. 

You needed a moment to yourself to calm your whirring mind, a silent and peaceful landscape of self comfort, and you tapped your knee anxiously the whole ride back to your house, itching to breathe your own air for a split second, an unfamiliar feeling for you when you were with Kylo. 

Once he zoomed into your driveway, you took a deep breath of relief, unbuckling and not looking at him as you open and unintentionally slam the door shut. You take unsteady steps along the gravel towards your own car when you felt his large hand grip your shoulder and spin you around to face him. 

"Where are you going?" His tone was a mixture of stern and worried. You shrug him off and pivot back on the coarse to your car.

"I'll be back. I just... I just need to think. I won't be too long." You say meekly, sucking in a deep breath and getting in your car without another word, afraid you might change your mind and stay with him if you saw his face. 

He half jogged to your car, opening up the passenger door and leaning down to look at you. You bite your lip nervously at his piercing gaze, confusion glistening in the specks of his hazel eyes. He opened his mouth to speak and closed it a few times, swallowing harshly. 

"Be careful." He chose to say, his voice dropping a few octaves, and he shuts your car door and turns for the house without another word. You watch him with hesitation as he rolls his shoulders, before shifting the gear and pulling out of the driveway, unaware of your suspected destination. 

You wanted to scream. You wanted to punch. You wanted to cry. You wanted to be with him.

Tears form in your eyes as you cruise freely down the road, no place to be or go, rolling your window down and allowing your hand to flow with the harsh breeze, listening to your favorite music and sulking. 

It was all unbearable, the thought of him having a baby numbed every aching limb in your body. After everything that's happened between the two of you, the thought of losing it all was excruciating. But in the depths of it all-

He's choosing you over his baby. 

A single tear rolled down your cheek, and you pay it no mind as you sing with the music and wave your hand to the beats out the window, needing to forget everything occupying your mind. 

If only it were that easy. 

You drove around like this for hours, enjoying the physical alone time, disregarding the fact that mentally you were anything but alone, your thoughts keeping you company, when your phone rung.

You sighed and removed it from the consul, noticing it's Kylo and sliding your thumb against the screen and bringing it up to your ear, your hand leaving the window and gripping the wheel.

"Where are you?" His voice was husky and rather croaky.

"I'm in the car."

He sighs audibly and remains silent for a moment. "I'm worried about you. Talk to me. Come back." You could hear the desperation threatening to spill from his deep voice, and you nod to yourself and make a rather sharp turn, pulling into a parking lot and backing out, making your way back home. 

"I'm fine." 

"You aren't fine. Just come back, okay?" His voice was stern and demanding per usual. "I'm coming." You say simply, and you hang up on him after that. You weren't sure how to talk about it over the phone, and you were speeding to get back to the house.

When you pulled into the driveway the sun was setting and it was growing dark, and you saw Kylo sitting on his bottom on the porch with a bottle of whisky dangling loosely in his hand near his lips, watching as you pull in attentively, the porch light flashing dimly above him. 

He was drunk. 

You furrow your eyebrows and purse your lips as you park your car, rushing out and speed walking across the driveway. You were too worried about yourself to even think about how much this was hurting him. You should've never left him. 

He blinks his eyes slowly as he looks up at you, his plump lips shimmering with alcohol. "You're back." He says lowly, taking another lazy and wobbly sip of whiskey. 

"I am... Are you okay?" You ask sympathetically, taking a seat next him and resting an elbow on your thigh, holding up your head with your hand as you watched him attentively, rubbing his knee with your free hand.

"Yes." 

He goes to take another sip of whiskey and a cord snaps inside of you then and you knew you had to take care of him, as he has for you. You pull it out of his hands and place it on the concrete by your feet, your gaze unbreaking from his face.

He keeps his hand out where he was holding the bottle and he stares blankly down at it, before wearily meeting your gaze- a permanent frown forming on his lips. You begin to massage a hand through his hair and give him a sad smile. 

"I'm sorry." He mumbles randomly, slightly leaning back into your touch, now staring at a bush in your yard, his lips slightly quivering. You continue feathering a hand through his hair gently, consolingly. 

"For what?" 

"I should've never brought you into all of this. You don't deserve to go through this with me. I don't deserve you." He mutters quietly all at once, poking the inside of his lip with his tongue. 

You use your free hand to gently cup his cheek, turning him to face you, his bloodshot eyes fluttering and struggling to meet yours. "Don't say that. I want to be here for you." 

He seems uncertain and indifferent, and you lean forward and press a soft, careful kiss against his warm, alcohol flushed cheek. You suddenly stand up and hold a hand out to help him do the same. 

"Come on." You say softly, and he interlocks his hand with yours shakily as you guide him to the front door. Once you were inside, you directed him to the couch and he plopped down, yawning. 

"I missed you." He blurts loudly after a moment of silence, startling you as you were now filling him a glass of water in the kitchen. You assumed his comment was from the alcohol, yet you still blushed.

You looked up from the counter and over at him on the couch, and within seconds he was already asleep. His head was resting on his own shoulder and his lips slightly parted, chest heaving. 

You tiptoe over to him and place the glass of water on the table, kneeling on the couch next to him and stroking his hair out of his face lightly. He jolts awake, a sharp breath leaving his throat while he blinks rapidly to recontain himself. 

"You're back." He mumbles with surprise, completely forgetting the moments that occurred just seconds ago. You sigh and place a kiss on his lips gently, his arm snaking around your waist and pulling you closer to him. You lean forward and pick up the glass of water and hand it to him, and he takes noisy gulps of the water until it was all gone, leaning forward and slamming it back on the table. 

You jolt at the sound and he chuckles breathlessly, pulling you impossibly closer and smushing your face into his, kissing you sloppily on the lips and pulling away, his mouth tasted of whiskey, bringing his free hand to squish your cheeks together now. 

"You're so pretty." He breathes as if he was in absolute awe, and you blush and smile at his comment. You could get used to drunk Kylo. He lets go of his unintentionally harsh grip on your cheeks only to do it again, puckering his lips at you and placing a kiss on your smushed together lips. 

He lets go again and you rub your cheek briefly before running a hand through his luscious raven locks again, and he leans his head into your hand. 

An idea flickers in your mind as you grow sleepy too, and you lay back on the couch with your head on a throw pillow, your legs spreaded. You patted your stomach and gestured for him to lay with you- and with no surprise considering his drunk state he obliged.

He rested his head on your lower stomach, cheek flush with the flesh there, his hair scattered around and his hands at your sides, your legs wrapping gently around his body as he stretches his legs out, laying on you. 

You were thankful the couch was rather long so he could fit, and you massage a hand through his hair while using you free hand to pull the throw blanket of off the back of the couch and covering him up with it. 

"So soft little girl." His deep voice coos against your belly as he brings up a finger to lightly trace the skin there and you hum in acknowledgment while you lace and weave your fingers through his hair, and within a matter of seconds his finger on your stomach and grip on your sides loosened and went limp, he was out cold.

You smiled at the sight of him- content and cozy in your arms- and continued playing with his hair until you fell asleep too. 

————

"What happened?" Kylo croaks against your stomach, slowly sitting up and rubbing his eyes with exhaustion. Your eyes flutter open, squinting to see him in the darkness of the night. He grunted as he rubbed the side of his head and you sat up with your legs crossed, yawning.

"How did you get back?" He asks suddenly, his voice raspy. You chuckle lightly as he leans his head back on the couch cushion, a hand covering his eyes, his fingers pinching them. 

"Hm?" He groans after you don't respond. You hushed him, and he wraps an arm around you and pulls you into his lap, your butt placed directly on his clothed length and your back flush with his chest.

He plays with your hair a bit, gently twirling it in is fingers before wrapping it around his hand and holding it up, and he placed a soft kiss on the back of your neck, tickling the sensitive flesh. You knew he was still drunk, and you squirmed a bit on his lap, it was also the middle of the night.

"Stop squirming. Let me make you feel good." He slurs seductively with a whisper, pressing fervent kisses all along your clothed shoulders, neck and back. You wanted to succumb to his touch, you just didn't want him to be drunk as you did so. 

"Kylo-" You begin, and he hushes you dramatically, tilting his head to the side and sucking on the side of your neck while yanking your hair and you mewl in response, your lips parting subconsciously, giving in to his touch- absentmindly spreading your legs slightly.

"That's a good girl." He mutters so deeply against your skin, licking and kissing all around and sending shivers through your body, wetness pooling in your pants. You bring your hand up and grasp his hair in your hand, feathering it in your fingers. 

You were extremely needy for him and you knew that, needing his touch constantly, craving it. Your connection with him was driven by sex, driven by your overwhelming need for him. A feeling you would never be able to deny. 

His hand dips into your pants and he begins rubbing your clit, snapping you out of your trance and bucking your hips into his hand, whimpering. The pleasure was undeniable, but you knew you had to push your arrousel aside. 

"You're drunk, Kylo." You choked out, and he only circles your clit harder, lapping up his spit on your neck and kissing roughly, biting down as you squeak. 

"I want to watch you cum for me." He exclaims against your skin, and he suddenly slips two fingers into your entrance and you moan, your free hand digging into the couch cushion, grinding into his fingers absentmindly and clutching his hair harder, his thumb rubbing your clit. 

"I love seeing you like this. Eager for me. My little girl." He whispers lowly in your ear and you moan again, his fingers pounding into you slickly, curling and plucking your sweet spot so simply. He knew every point in your body by now. 

You rake your nails into his scalp and he groans, ramming his fingers into you harder as your moans come out as croaks, thumb rubbing and pinching your clit perfectly, your climax approaching rapidly already as you bucked your hips into his hand, your burning ass rubbing against his cock and he grunts- his lips refusing to move from your neck. 

"K-kylo." You moan out, your legs beginning to shake feverishly, and he bites at your neck hard, surely causing blood and you seethe, whimpering. "Address me properly." 

"Daddy." You breathe out through pants and moans, the sensation growing too much as your climax teeters at its edge, and your toes curl as you yelp, his fingers working impossibly faster. "Mm- May I cum?" You force the words out through moans. 

"Yes, little girl." He growls against your neck, and you convulse on his fingers, cumming all over them as your body spasms and shakes, thrashing your head against his shoulder while you moan loudly, riding out your climax as you lazily buck your hips into his hand. 

He slips his fingers out of you and brings them to his mouth, licking your cum clean off of them as you struggle to catch your breath. You will never get used to how fucking perfect he was. 

"Mm." He hums in appreciation, nudging you off of his lap and you stand wobbly, your legs still shaking. His face was blank as he blinked up at you and took deep breaths, obviously exhausted from the effort he just made after all of the alcohol. 

He collapses backward and leans as far back as possible into the couch with a grunt, and you watch him idly before picking up the empty glass off of the coffee table and dragging your feet to the kitchen. 

You filled the glass with water again, nearly toppling over while your legs shook excessively and you walked back to Kylo who was watching with hooded eyes, a small smirk on his lips. You handed him the water and he downed it once again, surely parched. 

He mumbles under his breath, words you can't understand as he gulped the water down, lazily handing the glass back to you as he blinked at his lap. 

"Do you want to go up to the bed?" You ask, and he shakes his head no slowly, his eyes finding yours before standing up with a sigh and trudging slowly to the bathroom, flicking the light on and peeing with the door wide open.

You stand there awkwardly until he trudged back out, heading straight for you while he blinked slowly. Once he got close enough he suddenly hoisted you up in his arms and you squeaked, his hands pressing firmly on the back of your thighs and you loosely wrapped you arms around his neck.

His eyes flicker back and forth between both of your eyes, struggling to settle on one. He plops down on the couch again with you in his arms, straddling him now. He chuckles darkly and pecks your lips lazily, both hands kneeding your ass.

"When I first met you I knew I wanted you. So, so beautiful. My sexy little girl." He rambles quietly and almost to himself, and your cheeks turn a new shade of red. You wanted him from the very beginning too. 

"You and I broke many rules. We could get in a lot of trouble for this." You whisper close to his face, booping his roman nose and he tilts his head up a bit, your finger brushing down to his top lip, his lips slightly parting against your finger, your eyes never leaving each other's.

"We aren't going to get caught." He sounded particularly sure of himself, and you don't respond while you trace his lips and he pecks your finger. 

You couldn't imagine yourself being with anyone else. Only a few weeks ago you hadn't even known of his existence- and now you weren't sure what it would be like without him. He wasn't like any boyfriend you've ever had, he was much more. 

"Kylo?" You ask suddenly, preparing yourself for whatever response he may have to your appending question. You wanted to know what the two of you were, and you hoped that since he was drunk he wouldn't get angry that you asked. 

"Hm?" His eyes fluttered open, he was beginning to drift off from your soft touch. You swallow the lump forming in your throat and remove your finger from his lips, and he looks down at you with hooded eyes, massaging the back of your neck with his hand comfortingly, the other still cupping your butt.

"What are we?" 

He had no physical reaction to your words which came as a shock to you, and he smirks lightly as he rubs your neck harder, imploding a mewl to pass through your lips. 

"You are my little girl..." He begins lowly, leaning in close to your face. His breath was tickling your face and his lips brushed against yours. "And I am your daddy." 

He kissed you on the lips urgently, passionately and pulled away just as quick, allowing the desire to flow through your blood. Allowing his possessiveness to fill your body to the brim with lust.

He appeared to be deep in thought when you unfocused from your thoughts, until he clicks his tongue and gestures in the direction of the kitchen lazily. "Go get your camera." His husky voice commanded, and you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, stepping off of him nevertheless. 

"Just listen." He said sternly, and you swallow harshly as your feet guide you to the kitchen where you camera still laid from only a few nights ago. You picked it up wearily and walked back to Kylo who had an eyebrow raised, a hand out. 

You hesitantly place it in his hand and he snatched it from you, eyes scanning the exterior of your rather upscale camera. You watch him carefully, unsure of his intentions. 

He suddenly seized you by the wrist and yanked you onto the couch, holding your hands behind your back with one hand and using the other to press you into the couch, your face smushed against the couch cushions.

You were about to ask what he was doing when he pulled down your underwear and pants, the cool air tickling your bare skin. You squirm and he slaps your ass, you whimper at the impact, your cheeks still aching from the belt. 

"Ass high. Stomach down." He commanded blankly, his demeanor completely different than it was only moments ago. You oblige as he pulls your thighs up, planting your knees to the cushion. You arch your back and he hums in appreciation, your ass high and rounded in the air. 

"Mm. You look perfect like this." He praises, smoothing a hand around your ass gently before his hands left you completely, but you didn't move. There was no movement for a moment until the bright flash and click of the camera catches your attention and you spin around to face him, seeing the camera held up to his eyes. 

"What are-"

"We will go together and have the photo printed at the library. So I can have a piece of my little girl with me wherever. I. Go." He leans forward and growls the last part slowly, before pulling up your pants for you again. Your only response was a pathetic nod. 

He crashed back down on the couch again with a noisy exhale, placing your camera on the coffee table. The thought of him having a picture of your ass was rather arrousing, hot even. 

"We should go to bed." You suggest, and he blankly nods and stands up wobbly. You grip his bicep gently as you walk up the wide staircase together, and once your reach your bedroom he sits down abruptly on the bed with a quiet but exhausted groan.

"Arms up." You mutter, standing in the space between his legs and he raises an eyebrow, hesitating before he did as you instructed. You gripped the hem of his shirt and tugged it off of his body, and he wet his bottom lip as his eyes began to flutter shut. You knew he was going to have a massive headache tomorrow. 

You threw his shirt to the floor and he dropped his arms to his lap. You nudged him a bit and he stood up again, his eyes closed as he tugged down his pants too, in nothing but his boxers.

You idly scanned over his extravagant features, his godly structure and perfect... well, everything, before he plops back down on the bed, his messy hair spread all around as crashed his head into his pillow. 

You struggled, but with the help of him releasing some body weight you managed to remove the blanket from beneath him, covering him up to his shoulders with it. You turned for the bathroom when finished, when he grabbed your wrist loosely. 

"Where are you going?" He mutters against the pillow, only one eye squinted open to look at you. 

"The bathroom. Go to sleep." 

"I'm not going to sleep until you come back." He mumbled, his eye already struggling to stay open. You chuckle lightly while he releases his grip and you made your way to the bathroom, freshening up for bed. 

When you came back, you found him passed the fuck out, as expected. His hair fell messily in his face, his lips parted as he snored and drooled on his pillow, face smushed into the fabric. His arms were splayed where you normally lay. 

You quietly turn off every light in your bedroom before tip toeing over to your side of the bed, carefully and slowly holding up the blanket as you slip yourself beneath it, trying your best not to wake him. 

He stirs beside you, grunting and subconsciously reaching for you in his sleep, an arm engulfing your waist, shimmying closer to you. His chest was flush with your back and you could feel his chest rise and fall against you. You hum in content, sleep taking you over only moments later from his warm embrace.


	15. Consequences of your Actions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: this chapter contains physically/mentally abusive elements, including the use of a whip, and also domestic violence.

When you awoke the second time, the sun was shinning brightly through the window, birds were chirping and cars were whirring through the neighborhood. Your eyes fluttered open and you yawned quietly, squinting from the brightness of the sun. 

Kylo was still clinging onto you in his sleep, and you smile at the sight of him before slowly releasing yourself from his grip, pulling off the covers gently and repositioning them on top of him. You leaned forward and stroked his hair lightly, admiring his calmness. 

He stirred slightly but didn't awake, subconsciously grabbing your pillow and cuddling it instead, inhaling your scent and holding the pillow close to his body with both arms, his face nuzzled into it. 

You tiptoe over to the window and peek out at the daytime buzz briefly before drawing the curtain shut, barricading the sunshine from flowing in the room. You walk quietly back to the bed and pick up your phone from your nightstand, and the time reads 1pm. Well, shit. That's what Sunday's are for, right?

You left Kylo there to get some much needed slumber after his night, creeping down the stairs with your phone in hand. You were starving, and you were craving a large breakfast. 

Once you entered the kitchen, you idly tidied up before pulling out eggs, bacon and fruit from the refrigerator. You started by frying up the bacon and eggs, and you sliced up strawberries as those were cooking, when you heard slow footsteps coming down the stairs. 

Kylo blinks slowly and scratched his scruffy hair as he trudged towards you, grumbling nonsense. "Are you hungry?" You ask lightly, glancing at him before adding the strawberries to a bowl and returning to the stove. 

He didn't respond, and you heard him trudging his way over to you by the stove, and while you were scraping the eggs around the pan with a spatula, he came up from behind and wrapped both arms tightly around your waist, placing his chin on the top of your head. 

You placed a hand on his wrist and held him there as you finished off the food. You escaped his embrace and headed for the other counter, dumping the eggs on the two plates you had pulled out of the cupboard, placing a couple of slices of bacon with it. 

Kylo dragged his feet lazily to a cupboard and pulled out a glass, filling it to the brim with water from the sink. He downed it thirstily with noisy gulps, slamming the glass down on the counter with a sigh and using his sleeve to wipe off his mouth. 

You pointed to one of the barstools and he plopped down with an obnoxious sigh, propping his elbows up on the counter. You placed his food in front of him and he smirked, fiddling with his fingers above it. "Thanks." He mutters, his voice raspy and croaky. You hum in acknowledgment and climb the stool next to him, wafting in the smell of the food you made.

"Are you feeling okay?" You ask through bites of food, watching him attentively. He shrugs and nods all at once, scarfing down his food. "My head is fucking killing me." He rasped with his mouth stuffed with food and you nod slowly. 

You began to respond when your food went down the wrong pipe and you began choking, your eyes growing watery and you were unable to breathe. Kylo panics and plops his fork down, reaching out for you, and just as he was about to help you, the food finally went down and you weren't choking anymore. You gasped for air and he let out a breath of relief, raking his hand through his hair shakily.

"Jesus christ kid, be careful." He breathes croakily while picking his fork back up, and you nod your head up and down frantically, letting out a few raspy coughs and pounding your fist into your chest. 

"Scared the shit out of me." He mumbles, stabbing his food with his fork roughly and taking an aggressive bite. You cough again in response, your throat burning and the feeling of food lodged in your throat still lingered. 

"S-sorry." You stutter through a huffy cough, leaning forward in your chair and reaching for the glass Kylo had used. You couldn't reach so he grabbed it for you, stepping out of his chair and filling it with water once again and handing it you. 

You took a huge sip and the food flowed down into your stomach, finally. You took deep, shaky breaths and groaned. "Are we still going to the library today?" You mused, trying to change the subject of what just happened.

For a split second he looked bewildered, until realization struck on his face and he nodded slowly with a smirk, rummaging through the remains of his food with his fork. "Yes. What time is it?" He asks with an eyebrow raised, completely disregarding the luxury watch on his wrist. 

"It's 1:32pm." You mumble while glancing at the clock, and he groans and rubs his face. He sat with you as you continued eating your food even though he was finished, when you freeze mid chew, noticing that he was watching you with those hazel eyes. 

"What?"

He shrugs and huffs with amusement, standing up and rounding the counter, rinsing his plate off and doing the same with yours once you were finished. "We are leaving soon." He muttered blankly, and without another word he left you in the kitchen and marched up the stairs. 

You followed behind, entering your room and passing him who was now rummaging through his bag, and heading straight for the shower. You left the bathroom door slightly cracked open, starting the shower and allowing the temperature to grow to your liking, stripping out of your clothing. 

You threw all of your clothes carelessly on the tile floors, pulling the shower curtain back and stepping inside, the steam warming your sleepy limbs and the hot water flowing down every crevice of your body. You heard a phone ring and muffled chatter from outside of the bathroom, and you assumed Kylo was on the phone. 

You washed your hair with determination, massaging the soap into your hair aggressively and rinsing it thoroughly, before moving on to your body, covering yourself in soap and rinsing the suds away, when you heard the door creak open slightly. 

"Little girl?"

"Yeah?" You hum, peeking your head out of the shower curtain, clutching onto it as the water dropped down your face and caused your eyelashes to flutter. 

He remained silent for a second, his head poking through the door and his hand on the door knob as he admired your glistening, wet skin- a glow to his face. And then, he just slams the door shut, disappearing on the other side without another word. That was... strange.

You shrug it off and continue rinsing off your skin, before turning the water off and stepping out of the shower, wrapping yourself in a fluffy towel. You clutch it tightly to your body as you open the bathroom door, only to see Kylo sitting on the edge of the bed with fresh clothing and a smile on his lips. A real smile. His dimples were showing on his cheeks, his teeth slightly showing as he bit his lip to suppress the smile.

He stands up abruptly and hurdles towards you, encompassing your wet body in his arms, one large hand massaging your soaked hair as he took in a deep, content breath. You were confused, but you still embraced him nevertheless. 

"The baby isn't mine." He breathes in your ear, untangling himself from you and placing a hand on your waist, the other caressing your cheek. Your whole body tingled and buzzed, relief washing over you. It was surprising to you how happy he was over it, but then again he made it clear he wanted you; and a baby with the wife he was divorcing would not have been ideal. 

"That's..." He cuts you off with a quick, passionate kiss. When he pulled away his face was blank once again. "Finish getting ready." 

He pulls away from you, his expression change was insane. You just nod slowly and hesitantly, taking small steps to your dresser. You plopped your towel on the floor, sliding on a pair of underwear and slowly clasping on your bra, when you catch Kylo's gaze trapped on your body, his hands in his pockets as he leaned against the doorway of your room. 

Your cheeks grew red as you finished putting on your bra, tugging on a pair of light wash ripped mom jeans and a cherry red v-neck crop top, a string tie in the middle of the shirt and white dots spread crossed it, topping the outfit off with a white ribbon that tied half of your hair up.

You were dressing way better than you usually do, and you enjoyed looking decent for once. When you turned for your vanity, Kylo was now nowhere in sight. You began doing natural makeup; consisting of eyeliner, mascara, and lipgloss. Your cheeks were naturally rosy, so there was no need for blush. 

Just as you were finishing up, Kylo reappeared in the doorway and he looked your sitting frame up and down discreetly. "You look beautiful." His voice was still raspy with sleepiness, and you grin at him- your heart fluttering in your chest. This was the first time he complimented you not in a drunken state. Your cheeks grow flushed as you put all of your makeup away and stand up from your seat. 

"Thank you." 

He nods and reaches out a hand, wrapping it around your waist and placing a hand on your back, nudging you ahead of him. You walked down the stairs and began to slip into your white nike forces, gripping onto Kylo's shoulder for balance and he places his hand on your waist to keep you from falling. 

————

"Let me see your phone." Kylo instructs lowly with an expectant hand out as you walk into the local library. You sigh and pull it from your pants pocket, slapping it in his palm. You walk side by side through the array of books, approaching the digital photo printer. 

"Password?" He asked nonchalantly, your phone looking tiny in his massive, veiny hands. You had nothing to hide and for some reason it didn't bother you if he knew your password. You inform him of the number series which was the code, and your phone unlocked.

He went straight to the camera roll and there it was, the photo of your pristine, properly placed ass- transferred safely from your camera and to your phone. "Mm." He hums appreciatively as he stares at the photo briefly, before doing a few random things to the machine in front of you.

You let your eyes wander the massive library as he worked on printing the photo- and you gasp audibly as you see your ex boyfriend on the other end, laughing with one of his friends in a book isle. The photo began printing slowly, and your eyes widened as you stared in the direction of your ex and poked Kylo's bicep. 

"Hm?"

"We have to go." You whisper, your hands growing clammy as you fumble with your fingers. You knew that if he saw you, you were done for. Even though he didn't technically know that he was your teacher, there's an obvious... atmosphere about the two of you. 

Kylo looked where your eyes were and he clenched his jaw, knowing what you were getting at, even though he had no idea who he was to you. The photo finally printed and he ripped it out quickly, placing a hand on your lower back instinctively and guiding you through the rather large crowd of people, and towards the glass doors of the library.

Once you got outside, you took in a breath of relief. "Who was that?" Kylo asked as you hopped into the passenger side of his car, which was parked on the curb directly in front of the library. 

You swallow nervously and continue fiddling with your hands as he gets in his seat, glancing at you before starting the car, placing the photo of your ass in the clear screen of his damn wallet, where his ID was. 

"He's my ex." You mutter quietly, and his nostrils flare idly before he wipes his expression clean and turns towards the road, zooming out of his parking spot and down the street. 

He grumbles unintelligible words and you sigh, turning to face him with your hand pressed on the consul. He was clenching his jaw again, one of his wrists dangling off of the wheel. 

"Didn't want him to know you moved on?" He growls at random bitterly, pressing the gas further and flying down the road, causing you to claw at the seat. 

"No. That's not it. Are you forgetting that your my teacher? He's not stupid. He would've... figured it out." You spoke with confidence on the matter and he huffed. You knew he would've figured out who he was, because if he saw you with him he would've done everything to find out his relation to you- you could call it stalking.

"Right." He barks, glancing at you with furious eyes before tightening his grip on the wheel, his knuckles turning white. 

"Are you seriously-"

"Don't." He grunts, holding up a hand to stop you from talking. You cross your arms and pout, staring out the window. Why did he get so mad over that? So jealous? It's not fair. He had a whole wife when the two of you met and he wants to get upset about seeing your ex? 

"It isn't-"

"Stop talking. I'm serious." He demands bitterly, glaring at you. You sigh defeatedly and roll your eyes, scoffing. 

"Drop the attitude. If you don't, I have the perfect place to take you so we can buy you a punishment."

You flash him a revolted look- even though deep down you were intrigued. "You're ridiculous." You scoff, and you knew he had it with you then. 

He took an extremely sharp U turn, the car drifting as you fly into the car door, multiple vehicles honking at you from behind. "What the-" One of his hands removes from the wheel and he spanked your clothed pussy, a yelp escaping your lips, the skin on your mound tingling where he slapped you- the wetness pooling in your pants and the anger within your chest colliding together. 

"That's enough, little girl." He spat, his face was unamused and he was down right furious with you. He flew down the road now as you kept your mouth pursed shut, biting back the whines that wanted to leave your throat from the buzzing in your pants. 

He chuckles unhumorously and cocks his head towards you. "Go on. Touch yourself for me." He orders, and you nod eagerly as you dip a hand into the waist band of your pants and underwear, immediately finding your throbbing clit. You pinched and rubbed it in circles, soft moans rolling off of your tongue as you squeezed your eyelids shut. 

He was glancing from your fingers in your pants and the road, his breaths rigid as he ignored his growing cock. You spread your wetness along your clit and rubbed harder, the pleasure building intensively. "Tell daddy how it feels." 

"Ah- It feels g-good." You whimper, massaging your clit faster as you notice he was palming his bulge, his teeth clenching together as he continued staring at you and then the road.   
You felt your climax building, and as if he heard you he released his hand from his bulge and seized your wrist. 

"Only good girls get to cum." You squirm in his harsh grip as he removed your hand from your pants and you whimpered, his hand squeezing it as he used his other to steer the car. "Let me taste you." He mutters, before shoving your fingers into his mouth and groaning as he tastes your juices. You were throbbing for him, the sight making your body trickle with lust.

He continued digging his fingers into your wrists as he drove furiously down the road, until he pulled into a parking lot at a- what the fuck.

An adult world superstore. 

"Stay here and be good for me." He commanded as he let go of your wrist and stepped out of the car, slamming it shut and tucking his hands in his pockets at he waltzed straight into the store. 

You were afraid of what he was going to come out with. Not that you were scared it would hurt you- scared because you knew you'll like whatever it will be. Whatever punishment he had planned out for you. 

You waited impatiently in the car for awhile- at least half an hour, taking in the air conditioning of the still running Porsche and listening to music, ignoring the throbbing in your pants the best you could, when he returned from the store with a bag in hand.

His facial expression was blank as he took long strides towards the car, a plastic bag in his hand. You stared at him blinking as he stepped into the car, his eyes trained on yours as he placed the bag in the seat behind you. 

You reached for the bag as he was getting in the car and he snatched you wrist away, tsking at you as he twisted your arm and you winced. "Be patient. It isn't quite time for your punishment. You'll see tomorrow."

Tomorrow?

The ride back to your house was swift and easy, considering how fucking fast he drove. You were still pouting, and the only words exchanged between the two of you the whole drive was him telling you to stop, and you replying that you couldn't help it.

You were angry with Kylo in this moment and you were sure he knew that. He wasn't going to let you cum and you knew that, and you weren't coming to terms with him. You were being a big ass child. That's just how it worked in your books. 

"Are you going to act like this all day?" 

You didn't respond. You just stared out the window as you pulled into the driveway. He grabbed your hand from your lap and held it, urging you to face him. You did, but not without the biggest pouty lip you could put on. 

"Aw. Poor baby didn't get to cum?" He mused and mimicked your pouty face, giving your hand a harsh squeeze and you rolled your eyes,   
snatching your hand from his and turning away once more. 

He sighed obnoxiously and put the car in park, and you huffed while you pushed the door open and slammed it behind you. You were being over dramatic on purpose, yet you were slightly upset. Just a tad. 

You marched into the house and slammed the door shut behind you before he could enter, and you dramatically plopped yourself down onto the couch when he walked into the house; his face was flustered and overtaken by fury. I mean, you had slammed the door in his face...

He threw the plastic bag on the floor with a thud and roughly rubbed his jaw as it clenched, his watch shimmering elegantly on his wrist. You swallowed harshly and turned away. 

"Come here." He commands, and you hesitated, but still obliged. Dragging your feet and narrowing your eyes at him as you met his overly tall frame. 

He stared at you blankly for a moment before his lip twitched into a snarl and he seized you by your jaw, holding you inches off of the ground as his hand gripped you painfully, your breath hitching in your throat as he held you up effortlessly. 

"Rethink your attitude, baby." He whispered in your ear, voice dark and husky. You squirmed in his grip as you felt your clit throb for him once again from the unfinished business only moments ago.

"P-put me down." You tried to remain defiant, your voice stuttering as you thrash your legs in the air. 

"Beg for me to put you down." He demanded and you knew what he was trying to do. He wanted to regain his superiority over you, making you beg for something as stupid as this. 

"No." You spat, and just like that he flung you over his shoulder and in one swift motion he yanked down your pants just beneath your buttocks and placed a painful slap on your ass, the skin tingling and still aching from where he belted you. 

"I won't ask you again. Beg, little girl." He seethed and you whimpered, clawing at his clothed back as you hung upside down, inches from the door. 

You rolled your eyes and sighed. "Please put me down." Your voice remained expressionless, and he slapped you in the ass again and you yelped.

"That's enough!" He bellowed, marching over to the couch and throwing you roughly on top of it as you squeak, and he turns you around so your ass is high in the air, your back instinctively arching for him. 

You refused to move from your position as you heard him rummage through the plastic bag, pulling one out of what you assumed was multiple things based on the size of the bag when you had saw it earlier. 

There was silence for a moment- and you heard it before you felt it, the loud smack of leather against your ass. You scream and cry out as you clutch the couch, the pain in your rear end was unimaginable, instantly numb after one strike.

As much as it arroused you- you knew you wouldn't be able to handle it. To bare it. "No, please d-" 

He slapped you with the leather again. A whip. And you loved it and hated it all at once, but you were determined to remain defiant. You didn't want him to know you were melting at his touch. A cracked moan escaped your lips, and before he could bring it down on you again you rolled off of the couch, swiftly pulling up your pants. Tears instantly strolled down your cheeks when your ass collided with the ground. 

"Get back on the couch." He commanded, and you flashed him a disgusted look, your lip curling. You flipped him off, and rolled your eyes struggling to stand back up. 

He threw the whip to the floor with an annoyed sigh. "Come here." He beckoned you again, and you whimpered with every uneasy step you took towards him. 

He gripped your throat roughly, his fingers engulfing your neck and squeezing. You croak as he purses his lips and stares you dead in the eyes. "You should think about the consequences of your actions before you act on them." 

He shoved you away by your throat and you stumbled backwards as he stepped around you and marched up the stairs without another word. He was insufferable. 

You groan, the sudden urge to cleanse your body of the negativity you were feeling coursing through you- and you had that perfect solution. 

You wince as you walk out the back door, immediately tugging your jeans off as soon as you got outside. It was the evening now, it was growing dark and you were ready to skinny dip in your personal pool, a natural remedy to all of your stress. You tug off your shirt as well and let your hair fall freely out of its tie, and without hesitating you jump into the cool water. 

The cooling sensation of the chlorine pool against your burning ass was relaxing, and you let out a content sigh as you allow yourself to float in the water, your body seeping wet. 

You dove beneath the water, allowing it all to encompass you in a new world of peace. When you escaped the depths of the water you took in a deep breath of air, running a hand through your drenched hair, and when you opened your eyes Kylo was parked on a lounge chair, hunched forward with his elbows propped up on his thighs. 

You rolled your eyes at the sight of him and ducked back down and into the water, holding your breath for as long as possible so you didn't have to come into contact with him again. Once it became too much you returned to the surface and inhaled sharply; he was just staring at you with possessiveness, stroking his jaw. 

"Stop looking at me like that." You chuckle nervously, turning the opposite way and towards the colorful sunset, arrays of purples and oranges taking over the sky, the beautiful view from your upscale patio was amazing; the sun overlooking the distant golf courses and suburban homes. 

"Come back inside." He grumbles from behind, and you shake your head no, not turning to face him as you ring the water out of your hair. He sighed obnoxiously and you glanced at him from over your shoulder and he was laying back in the chair now, hands folded in his lap.

It was silent for awhile as you floated around the pool with your eyes closed, a content smile remained on your face while the sun made its way down, darkness consuming everything except for the pool lights. 

You heard the door open and close a couple of times but you payed no mind, until you heard Kylo clear his throat loudly on purpose and you opened one eye to see him standing at the edge of the pool with a towel held out wide in his arms. "Time to come in now."

You groan obnoxiously and palm yourself in the face. "Kylo." You groaned his name and started walking over in his direction nevertheless. "I don't want to." You whine, and he shrugs. 

"It's late." You sighed as he spoke and climbed up the ladder, water dripping down off of every inch of your figure. Your underwear and bra were see through and his hungry eyes were locked on your exposed nipples, and he blinked rapidly before wrapping you up in the towel, rubbing your arms to warm you. 

You didn't meet his gaze once as he did so, you were still being petty. His hand slid up your arm slowly, leaving goosebumps in its wake, and he grasps your jaw gently, turning you to face him. He bowed his head low and stared you dead in the eyes, his lips slightly forming into a smirk while his free hand grips your hip.

He leaned in hesitantly, his thumb brushing your cheek as he leaned down and brushed his lips against yours, your lips parting against his as he breathed into your mouth without kissing you. Your eyes flutter shut and he cups your cheek as he tauntingly parted his lips against yours, slowly latching them onto yours in a leisure manor, tongue running along your bottom lip and he pulls away. 

"Inside." He demanded simply while pointing to the door and you adjust the towel and oblige with a scoff, abandoning your clothes on the ground. He follows behind and slaps you on the ass, making you stumble a bit with a squeak. You glared at him from over your shoulder and he was smiling innocently at you.

"Faster." He slapped your butt again and you stumbled while he snickered, pushing you up the stairs by your ass. "What, why?" You ask frantically, moving quicker and avoiding his hand. 

"I need to make a call. Go." He said urgently and nudged you further with his hand until you reached the top of the stairs and he led you to your room, easing you inside and slamming the door behind you, leaving him out of the room.

You stared blankly at the door for a moment when you heard his muffled voice escaping the other side. You allow the curiosity to flow through you and you press your ear and hands to the door.

"I'm not coming back. We aren't coming back from this."

Silence, and you took in a deep breath.

"Well. If that's what you want. We can try."

You took a step back away from the door, feeling too intrusive. Something about the words exchanged with the person on the other end of the line didn't sit right with you. You didn't want to assume things, but you couldn't ignore the anxiety sparking within you considering the fact he rushed you away from him to take the call. 

You plopped yourself down on the edge of the bed, staring at your feet and trying to ignore the rapid heartbeat in your chest. You couldn't dictate the origin of the stress his words caused you. 

The door creaked open and you saw his huge figure in your peripheral vision, and without looking at him you sigh and clutch the towel tighter to your chest, speed walking towards the bathroom. 

"What's wrong?" 

You avoided him and his words completely, walking into the bathroom and unintentionally slamming the door behind you. You flinch at yourself and press your back into the door, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. 

Your anxiety planted the idea the person he was talking to was his wife, and that's why you felt clammy and irritable. A quiet knock on the door made you jump and you locked the door. 

An annoyed sigh was heard. "What are you doing?" He sounded impatient.

"I'm just," You swallowed thickly, "I-I just, I need to take... um, a shower." You struggled to get the words out of your mouth, and the doorknob jiggled, then a louder knock.

"Open the door." His tone was serious, demanding, and you ignored him, shrugging off the towel. You smelled purely of chlorine and you were eager to wash out the chemical smell. 

You started the water and didn't bother to check the temperature before climbing in, the warm water hitting your hair and neck. You sigh contently, another knock on the door. 

You lather shampoo in your palm and run it through your locks, taking your time on each section. You rinsed it out and did the same with the conditioner, allowing it to settle in your hair as you washed your body. 

"Y/N!" Kylo barks from outside, the door shaking and rattling from his grip on the doorknob. You tensed, you haven't heard him use your name in awhile and his tone was not playful. 

As you were scrubbing your body, a loud boom and crash escapes from the opposite side of the shower curtain and you jumped with a yelp, slapping a hand over your breasts and peeking around the curtain.

Kylo stood there heaving, his nostrils flaring and his lips sparkling with spit- standing on top of the door. It was completely off of its hinges and you glare at him. That's just great.

"Kylo! What the fuck is wrong with you!" You yell with meaning, closing the shower curtain again and resuming your shower, scrubbing annoyingly at your skin. Now you had another problem to worry about, fixing the door. 

"I'll fix it tomorrow." He muttered almost sheepishly, and you peek out at him again briefly just to flash him a deadly look, returning to your rinsing afterwards. 

"It's getting really late." He reminds you, and you hear his heavy steps leaving the bathroom after you heard him scooch the door against the floor. 

You sigh and shut the water off, wrapping a fresh towel around you and exiting the bathroom. You noticed he was perched on the edge of the bed and you didn't acknowledge him before heading for your dresser and pulling out a pair of underwear and a nightgown. 

You tugged on your underwear without removing the towel, and you angled yourself away from him so he couldn't see your breasts when you dropped the towel to the floor, slipping on the silk material of the nightgown. 

He huffs with amusement and clicks his tongue, and when you turn around and leave your towel on the floor he was shaking his head, wetting his bottom lip. You scratched your drenched head and trudged over to the bed, climbing in on your side and turning towards the window. 

"Why are you doing that." You could see him gesturing towards you in the corner of your eyes and you just shrug. He kicks off his shoes and pulls off his clothes, crawling up the bed and turning off the lamp, before he settled against you. He draped his arm around your waist and nuzzled his face into the back of your neck. 

Internally, you wanted to push him away, but your body betrayed you and felt comforted by his touch. You scooted away a bit, and he lifted his head up to look at your face. You avert your gaze and close your eyes. 

You could tell he was still looking at you until he sighed and plopped his head back down, his hand playing with your hair. He kissed your neck softly and the pride was radiating off of him as you fell asleep from his touch. 

————

When you awoke, Kylo was sound asleep and his back was facing you now. You fixated your gaze on his messy hair before you shook your head and yawned, sitting up and stretching. You removed yourself from the blankets and instantly began your descent of getting ready for the first day back since your suspension.

You felt lazy today, and you settled on wearing a pair of leggings and a hoodie, slipping on your white sneakers again. You still weren't particularly fond in the idea interacting with Kylo this morning, and when he came downstairs with his hair wet you looked away, focusing on the cup of coffee steaming in front of you. 

"Morning." He grumbles, and you just nod silently in response. He trudged over to you in the kitchen and you nervously brought the cup of coffee to your lips, but he took it away first and planted it on the counter. 

"What's going on with you?" He seemed worried and concerned, his hand finding your jaw and turning you to face him. You kept your eyes on his tie since it was eye level with you. 

"I'm just tired." You breathed, and he shook his head no. It was obvious to him you were lying and you didn't feel like dealing with the instigation. 

"I have to go. I'm getting coffee with my friend." You lie again, nudging him off of you gently only for him to cup your cheek firmly. 

"Don't lie to me. What is it?" He insisted, and you stared up at him blankly, unable to comprehend how easy it is for him to know when things are bothering you. 

"I already told you. I'm tired." You emphasized your words and he huffed, rolling his eyes but placing a swift kiss on your head nevertheless. He let go of you and adjusted his tie with his jaw tensed, marching towards the door and lifting up his leather bag once he got there. 

"Meet me in my classroom once you get to the school." His voice was dangerously low, and you just nod in response. At that he left without another word.

You finished you coffee and rushed outside, hopping in your car and cruising down the street and to your school.

Once you arrived, you headed straight for the photography room, not wasting anytime. You knocked on the door and opened it all at once, and he was leaning back comfortably in his desk chair, his glasses on and his arms crossing his chest, waiting expectantly. 

Your feet carried you over to him and he stood up abruptly, scooping up a bag with him. 

You stared at him incrediciously as you tiptoed against the tile, approaching his massive figure which was towering over you with a smug look. 

He pulled a box out of his brown leather school bag, slowly handing it to you. Oh, fuck.

A remote controlled vibrator. You had no idea where he was going with this, and you were a mixture of afraid and excited. 

"Put it in before class today. I'll be keeping the remote. If you act out of line or I decide a punishment fits, i'll use it on you." He instructs darkly, removing the box from your hands and opening it, tucking the remote in the back pocket of his formal pants and handing the vibrator back to you.

You were in utter shock- he was going to pleasurably torture you in plain sight, and you wanted it. You were just skeptical. You placed the vibrator in your bag hesitantly and he just stared at you with his eyebrows in a hard line, lips pursed- blank. 

"Okay." You mumble quietly, unsure of how else to respond, and he takes a few small steps forward until he was pressed into you, a hand slowly reaching for your hip and the other cupping your cheek, thumb brushing the you soft skin. 

He leaned down and kissed you fervently, and just when you were ready to pull away you pushed into each other again, starving for each other's lips. Being at school always made the urge for him even more frequent. He bucked his hips into yours and you moaned into his lips, kissing each other passionately, when the sound of heels clacking erupted from the hallways. 

You both pulled away just in time, a random female teacher walking through the door. She slowed her pace once she saw you and her forehead crinkled, an amused yet confused look on her face. 

You and Kylo were both breathing heavily, lips sparkling with spit and your bodies inches apart. You wiped your mouth with your sleeve and averted your gaze to the floor. 

"Is now not a good time, Mr. Ren?" Her voice was low and there was a tone about it that you didn't like a single bit. Seductiveness. You scowled at her before plopping yourself on top of a student desk, not planning on leaving the room.

You didn't trust her. Especially not alone with Kylo, he was too good looking to be left with someone who clearly had a thing for him, and especially after that phone call last night.

"Now is fine." He mutters blankly, sitting back down in his seat. You could tell he sensed the same thing from the teacher as you did, his eyebrows slightly furrowed. "Did you need something?" 

"Well, actually," She began as she perked up, glancing at you- no, glaring at you- and nagging at her lip before taking a step forward. "I was hoping we could talk... alone." 

You scoffed and bit your lip to conceal your anger, clenching your jaw as you turned away, shaking your head. Kylo flashed you a warning look, sitting forward in his seat and propping his arms up on the armrests of his chair.

"Whatever you have to say you can say it in front of my student." There was a slight edge to his voice as he spoke to the other teacher and you had to hold back a proud smirk. 

"Okay then..." She began hesitantly, nervously glancing at you and back to him. "I wanted to talk about the kiss. After the teacher conference on the first day of school." 

Your heart paused mid-beat in your chest. You let out a shaky breath as your mouth fell open. His face was blank, but the fearful urgency in his eyes was clear as he sucked in a breath. 

"What is there to talk about?" He tried not to look back at you as his whole body tensed and he rolled his shoulders anxiously. What the fuck?

You weren't a couple then, and it's not that which was bothering you. It was the fact you weren't the only one he cheated on his wife with. How could you know whether or not things went on further? While you were together? 

"Um, Just... What are we? Is this anything." She gestured between the two of them, and you have the sudden urge to throw up. You puffed out your cheeks and pursed your lips; strongly fighting off the will to cry. 

"This is nothing. You kissed me, and that's final. I'm in a relationship." He barked at the teacher, and her eyes widened as she took a step back, shaking her head frantically. 

"You said that you were divorcing your wife! What changed?"

"I am divorcing my wife, which is none of your business. I'm telling you that i'm in a committed relationship w-" He grunted and slammed a fist on the desk, his nostrils flaring. You were unphased by his anger, accustomed to it, and apparently the teacher wasn't. 

"Oh. How-" 

"Can you knock it off and get out of his business?" You breathe as you slam your hands into your thighs with exasperation. "I mean, seriously women! Take a damn hint! I was in the middle of getting help for this class, which i'm failing by the way, and you interrupted with this bullshit, which he clearly isn't fond of talking about." You bark, making up a lie on the spot to cover for yourself.

She was visibly taken aback by your words and she scoffed. "I am a teacher, you can't-"

"It was unnecessary for you to come here, Miss Michaels. I apologize for my students behavior but shes right, we need to get back to preparing her for class." He said with fake calmness filtering his anger, tapping his thigh aggressively. 

She just nodded with sheepishness and turned for the door. "Have a good one." Kylo added emotionlessly with a wave of dismissal, and she left the room without another word, the sound of her heels stomping against the tile ringing in your ears. 

You sat there unmoving for a moment, staring blankly at the floor. You were exasperated, you didn't want to fight with him about the situation. You didn't even want to talk about it either. You were fine with just tucking it away in the depths of your mind. 

You sigh in exhaustion and hop off of the desk, clutching your bag tighter to your body. You looked up and saw him watching you attentively, his finger covering his lips as he rested his head on his hand. 

"I didn't-"

"I don't want to talk about it." You interrupt him with a sad smile, and he remains silent for a moment before beckoning you over to him with two fingers. You hesitate, considering just leaving and heading for your class, but of course your body betrayed you and you obliged. 

Once you got close enough he pulled you into the space between his legs before hoisting you up on his lap, making you straddle him. He brushes a stand piece of hair out of your face and holds your jaw in his large hand as he places a soft and gentle kiss against your lips. 

You stay in this position for longer than you had realized, just staring into each other's eyes when he snaps out of his own trance and lightly smacks your ass. It slightly burned but you ignored it, and he placed you back on the floor.

"You should get to class. I don't want you to be late." He says through a sigh, turning to his desk and propping his elbows up on it and looking down at a collection of papers. 

You had no will to speak, your mouth struggling to form words so you just nod and leave the room without saying anything else.

————

The day went by tortuously slowly, you spent each class staring blankly at the dull walls surrounding you, that teachers words ringing in your ears as you don't obtain a word throughout the whole day up until 6th period; photography.

You walked without an ounce of pep in your step, the words of the women were boulders on your shoulders, forcing you to slouch and drag your feet through the crowded hallways, when you reach the girls bathroom nearest to the photography room. 

You sighed obnoxiously to yourself, opening up the stall and locking it securely behind you while rummaging through your bag until you found the vibrator. You were desperate for any kind of distraction from your spiraling notion, and this was your best option. 

You did as instructed and slid it inside you carefully with a muffled whimper, biting your lip, a section of it pressed firmly against your clit. You adjust your clothes to the best of your ability, making it as least suspicious as possible. 

Your walk was more of a waddle, the occupancy in your pants made you walk with a wide stance, and with every step you took the vibrator pressed into your clit and you shudder. 

When you reached the room, you made direct eye contact with Kylo and he looked down at your crotch and you nodded when he looked back up, answering his silent question. You waddled your way to your seat in the front, placing your bag down with a sigh and plopping into the seat. 

As soon as the bell rung you let out a long, deep breath, preparing yourself for what was to come. When you glanced back at him again he was already staring at you, that seductive gleam in his eyes as he smirks and you rolled your eyes.

Bad idea.

The vibrator begins buzzing at a moderate speed inside you and you squeak, propping your elbow on the desk and covering your mouth with your fingers and biting your lip as the pleasure very slowly starts building, the feeling already too much to bare. 

"Today, we will be starting a new assignment. Similar to the last one, you will photograph..."   
His words began to go one ear and out the other as he increased the frequency of the vibrator, the remote held tightly behind his back as he paced back and forth in front of the classroom. 

You stifled a moan by sinking your teeth into your bottom lip enough to drawl blood, the desire becoming unbearable as it sends shockwaves of pleasure through your body, fresh goosebumps forming on the surface of your skin. The vibrator began working in the best ways possible and you allow an extremely soft whimper to escape your parting lips, using your free hand to clasp the desk in front of you, your knuckles were white from your tight grasp.

Once the sound escaped your mouth, he pressed another button and the vibrator couldn't possibly increase its speed anymore as it splattered your wetness around in your pants, your eyelids squeezing shut as your clit throbs and buzzes. You clasped your hand completely over your mouth now, opening your eyes briefly to scan the classroom; thankfully nobody noticed over the whirring of the air conditioning and their attention set strictly upon Kylo. 

Your skin began to tingle and grow red all up your neck and body, heating up immensely as the pleasure becomes too much, your legs starting to shake as you whimper and clutch the desk harder. You watched Kylo with hooded eyes as his eyes scanned everyone's in the room, until they fell upon you. He sucked in a breath and averted his gaze to the class again, when you noticed the obvious bulge growing in his pants. 

This furthers your arrousel and when he caught your eyes on his hardening cock, he set the vibrator at its highest frequency and you jolted forward, a breathless moan escaping your lips as you leaned forward and your knuckles grew sore form your grip on the desk. You heard quiet murmurs traveling around the room, and the sound of dark and slow footsteps heading towards you as you tried to contain your need to cum. 

When you unsealed your eyes Kylo was directly in front of you, that smug look plastered on his face. He placed both hands on your desk and leaned down and forward, his hot breath directly in your ear as his breath hitches. Your face was twitching with pleasure as your climax neared it's edge, your legs shaking rapidly now and your wetness surely seeping on the seat. 

"Go to the bathroom and cum for me." He whispers wickedly in your ear, quickly removing himself from you and keeping his arms behind his back as he paces around the classroom, the other students now working on something. 

Your knees buckle multiple times as you whine and whimper, sprinting to the bathroom as the vibrator continues buzzing inside of you. You bolted into a stall and slammed the door shut, plopping down on the toilet and spreading your legs widely. You dipped your fingers into you pants and aided the vibrator by rubbing circles into your clit and it sent you into overdrive only after a couple of seconds and you moaned contently as your climax crashed into you, clenching around the buzzing sillicon and cumming all over it as breathless and needy moans escaped your lips.

It took you a moment to catch your breath, pawing at the sides of the stalls. After your breathing was stable enough, you slipped your cum covered vibrator out of you with a whimper and you cleaned it with toilet paper, placing it back in your bag and flushing the tissue down the toilet.

You were waiting for your legs to stop shaking when the bell rung to dismiss 6th period. You hadn't meant to be gone for so long, and you groan obnoxiously as you stand up wobbly and rebalanced yourself, exiting the bathroom. You headed straight for your last class of the day, allowing yourself to regain your composure on the walk there.


	16. Needed you to be Mine

You kept your head bowed low throughout 7th period, using every ounce of self control to keep yourself from reliving the event that had just occurred the period before, and when the dismissal bell rung you let out a deep breath of relief, prepared to go home as soon as possible. 

You packed up all of your things urgently and sped out the door, your steps slightly wobbly as you debated on whether or not you wanted to stop in the photography room. 

You made the decision of going straight home, assuming Kylo would be there anyways, and with your assumption you were correct. You had been home for only about fifteen minutes when he walked through the front door, you were laying on the couch. 

"Can we talk about this morning?" He asked seriously as he carefully closed the door behind him, and you could hear his slow steps against the hardwood floor. You tensed at the mention of everything, you were hoping you could just forget about it. 

You sat up from the position you had been laying in and stared at him idly before standing up with a sigh, taking lousy steps over to him and cupping his cheeks, pulling his face down to yours and kissing him with endearment, his hand placed on the small of your back and pulling you closer into him.

All you knew was that you wanted him. Regardless of his flaws and imperfections, you wanted him. The situation that you undoubtedly overheard this morning wasn't a huge deal to you, or so you tried to convince yourself it wasn't. 

You pulled away slowly and he blinked rapidly as if to recontain himself, and he leaned down and kissed you again briefly before plopping his school bag on the floor with a faint grunt. "What is there to talk about?" You asked with a shrug and a half smile, and his plump lips formed into a frown.

"Don't... do that." He shook his head rapidly and pursed his lips, waving a finger at you. You just gave him a bewildered look, unsure of what he's asking and he sighs. 

"I can tell it's bothering you." He began, rubbing the back of his neck nervously and clearing his throat. 

"You wanna know what's bothering me?" You sounded more snarky than you meant to, and he just nods slowly.

"I just don't understand. It doesn't make sense to me." You started with exasperation, "Were you just that desperate to cheat on your wife that you kissed a random women and then fucked me? Do I even mean anything to you at all? Or am I just your fuck toy?" 

You felt tears welling up in your eyes as you poured out the words spinning in your mind, and he took a step closer to you and placed one hand on your waist firmly and the other brushes the tear that slid down your cheek away with his knuckle, sincerity in his expression.

At first there was no response as he leaned down and pressed a delicate kiss to your forehead and he stroked your hair, resting his chin on top of your scalp. "You mean everything to me." He whispered, and you closed your eyes and smiled sadly against his chest, wrapping your arms around his torso.

"I knew," He cleared his throat, "The moment that you walked into the door that first day of school... That I needed you to be mine. I didn't care about the rules or the law. I was so... fucking distraught about the way just seeing you made me feel and I was overwhelmed."

He took in a sharp breath as you processed his words carefully, one of his hands slowly trailed down to your ass. "I knew I wanted every square inch of you to belong to me. You are mine." He growled into your hair, massaging your ass and gathering a bundle of your hair back and yanking your face away from his chest as you squeak. 

He held you by your hair away from him as he eyed you eagerly, using his free hand to palm his growing bulge. You whimpered and swallowed thickly as your eyes remained locked on the hand on his dick, warmth growing in between your legs.

"You want my cock don't you?" He smirked wickedly, his voice dangerously low, a grunt escaping his lips as he palmed himself even harder. You bit your lip and met his possessive gaze, nodding frantically. 

"Strip." He cocked his head towards you and kept a tight hold on your hair and you shuddered, fresh goosebumps forming on your flesh. You began by kicking off your shoes to the side, and then unbuttoning your pants.

Your eyes never left his as you slowly tugged them down, past your thighs, his eyes lingering on the soft skin as you plop them down to your ankles, kicking them off and finding the hem of your shirt. You taunted him by batting your eyelashes and giving him an innocent smile, tugging it off slowly and throwing it to the ground with a smirk. 

He was still palming his clothed length, his gaze flickering from yours and your body. You thumbed the hem of your underwear and rolled them down leisurely as he raked in the sight before him, his eyes glistening and his face glowing as if he hit the jackpot.

You giggled as your cheeks grew warm, and you began to reach behind your back slowly to unclasp your bra when he huffs impatiently and does it himself one handed, throwing it carelessly to the ground. His hand went straight to your breast, massaging and flicking your nipple as his eyes never left yours and you jolted forward. 

"Get on your knees." He commanded as he licked his lips, his jaw clenching as he slowly pushed you down to your knees in front of him. "Good... Good girl." He praised, petting you on the head as if you were an animal and you nod with a content whimper.

He began by removing his belt with a grunt as he continued petting and tangling your hair in his large hand, and he unzipped his pants and released his throbbing length. He stroked it gently with a barely noticeable groan, precum dripping off of his tip and onto his leather shoe. 

You watched eagerly as it fell in sticky clumps, nearly drooling at the sight. "Clean that up." He commanded with a dark chuckle, placing his shoe in front of you. You looked up at him with doe eyes, before nodding. You reached out your hand and he clicked his tongue at you. "Use your pretty little mouth." 

You sucked in a deep, lustful breath, leaning down and making sure to arch your back and keep your ass high as your tongue collided with his shoe, the salty taste of his precum and the leather overtaking your taste buds. You moaned as you lapped it up on your tongue with slow, seductive licks and you heard his breath falter in his chest. 

You pulled away when finished and you gave him another innocent smile, and he smirked at you back as his dark and determined eyes roamed your naked body and rosy face. "Open." He directed and you stuck your tongue out, revealing the cum that was gathered there. "Swallow." He leaned down a tad and pinched your jaw shut, and you swallowed the salty mixture. 

"My good little girl." He cooed and pet your head again rewardingly, and your whole body was buzzing with lust as he praised you. His eyes lingered on every inch of you for awhile, before he let go of your hair roughly and you stumbled a bit. 

"Do you think you deserve this?" His voice was low and seductive as he fisted his length impossibly slowly, his eye twitching as he watched your breath hitch in your throat. 

"Yes, daddy." 

"Mm. I think so too." He began as a mischievous smirk broke out on his lips. "But you'll pleasure me first." He decided, and he grasped your hair again and yanked you straight onto his cock.

You latched onto it immediately as he began thrusting impatiently down your throat, and you ran you tongue along the underside and he cursed under his breath, gripping your hair harder and pounding into you. 

Your face grew hot as you sealed your lips around his shaft, using your hands to palm his balls and he moaned deeply, leaning over you and his other hand grasping onto the edge of the countertop behind you, his knuckles white as he clenched his teeth.

You bobbed your head into him eagerly, dropping your jaw and opening your throat as best as you could to accommodate his thrusting shaft, precum trickling down your throat. He groaned and thrusted into you further, and you looked up to see his eyes squeezed shut as he continued yanking and massaging your scalp and clawing at the counter. 

His tip began hitting the back of your throat and you gagged around him, one hand still massaging his balls and your other was now fisting the base of his massive length that couldn't fit in your mouth, and he grunted as his cock throbbed every time it passed your swollen lips, warm tears from the gagging running down your cheek and smearing your makeup. 

"Aghh, fuck- your mouth was made to please me." He groans breathlessly after awhile of you working eagerly on his length, pounding even harder into your throat as your jaw grows sore and your cheeks heat up. He panted and his cock twitched in your mouth, and he bowed his head down low as his sweat dropped off of his face and into your hair. "Fuck! Sh-" He grunted and released his hot load into your mouth, sending it down your throat and you gagged as you swallowed his cum. 

He removed himself from your mouth slowly and you took in deep breaths of air, inhaling it with your eyes closed. He tightens his grip on your hair and tilts your head back roughly and you open your eyes to meet his, which were hooded and he was panting. "Open."

You obliged and opened your mouth and he spat down at you, his saliva entering your mouth and you closed your mouth and swallowed without instruction and he hummed appreciatively.

"You look perfect like this. On your knees for me... messy with my cum." His voice was low and taunting as he circled your submissive body that was buzzing and tingly. He leaned down when he was behind you and he nudged you forward and you stumbled, catching yourself with your hands and he slapped your ass extremely hard, a cracked whimper escaping your lips as you jolted forward. 

"Don't move."

You nodded weakly and remained in that position as he tucked himself away and trudged up the stairs. You could hear the creaks of the floorboards as you impatiently waited in your spot, your wetness seeping down your thighs and onto the floor from how much you were craving him. 

He took slow steps down the stairs, one veiny hand gliding down the railing as he held a black velvet box in the other, a bow tie tying it together. He walked over to you leisurely and carefully placed the box in front of your face. He gathered his belt from the floor and bent down, gathering your wrists in his hands. He placed a kiss on each of your knuckles gently, before he tightly sealed his belt around your wrists, keeping them bundled together in front of you.

You were propping yourself up on your forearms now, squirming and wiggling, keeping your ass high as he scooted the box closer to your face using his foot, hands placed on his hips as he watched over you expectantly. "Open it." He directed darkly, and you knew what he was asking so you nodded.

Using your teeth, you gathered the ribbon keeping the box together and swirled your tongue around until you got a good grip with your teeth and untied it with no hands, spitting the ribbon on the floor. He petted you again and smirked. 

You used your teeth to slide off the top of the box now, carefully placing it down on the floor as you lift your head back up to uncover what was in the box, and a new line of goosebumps took over at the beautiful sight.

A collar. A velvet black collar with dainty black lace, a black diamond pendent in the middle which read 'KR' in delicate cursive writing. His initials. 

It was breathtakingly beautiful and fancy, certainly real diamond and reflecting the light off of the kitchen chandelier. You gawked at it in pure awe, in fascination of the product that laid before you. This was for you.

"Wow..." 

"I had that made for you. Do you like it?" He asked genuinely and you nodded excitedly, smiling up at him as you sat back up on your knees. He crouched down and carefully scooped up the collar, and he stroked your jaw with his finger gently, then your throat, grasping it lightly before he huffed contently.

You watched him with glassy eyes as he focused solely on your throat, his gaze consuming the depths of the flawless collar before he delicately placed it around your neck, latching it carefully in the back and settling it there, both of his hands cupping your neck. He gave you a sincere tight lipped smile and kissed you pliantly on the forehead, using his thumb to brush your jaw as he continued clasping your neck. 

"You're beautiful." He swallowed thickly as his eyes flicker between yours, removing one hand from your neck to stroke your sweat matted hair out of your face. There was no way you looked beautiful in this moment, you were covered in sweat, cum and your lipgloss and mascara was smeared all over your face.

He ran his thumb along your bottom lip and slightly tightened his grip around your throat, simply admiring the way your breaths were unsteady as you watched him with hooded eyes. 

He cleared his throat and blinked slowly, standing up and patting down his pants. His lip twitched as he stared down at you, and you both just stared at each other for a moment.

Your clit was throbbing from his intense stare and you shivered, your eyes fluttering and your breath hitching in your throat; you needed him now, and he noticed. He removed the belt from your wrists swiftly and threw it to the ground.

He chuckled and stroked his jaw roughly, bringing his hand down to massage your scalp again and you leaned back into his touch. "You look perfect like this." 

Before you could respond he bent down and hoisted you up and over his shoulder and you squeaked, he marched up the stairs with you naked and quaking against his shoulder until you approached your room. He placed you on the bed with a grunt, pressing you stomach first into the sheets. 

"Keep your ass up. Hands behind your back. Don't move." He demanded seriously, and he left the room without a word. You did as instructed, arching your back and keeping your hands behind you, cold air hitting your spread opened pussy. You shuddered and pressed your thighs together for some sort of friction.

"Kylo," You breathe loudly, and you heard heavy steps coming from the halls and you felt his presence when he entered the room, heavy and lustful air filling your lungs. He took slow steps towards you and you felt his warm hands caress your ass, before he traced his finger down until he found your wet entrance. He barely touched the area, lightly moving his finger up and down and you whimpered.

He slapped your ass with the back of his hand and you yelped, clawing at your own hand behind your back. "Shh. Be patient for me." He cooed, his voice soft and as light as a feather. You nodded and he continued massaging your ass until that familiar cold, metallic feeling was pressed into your back.

He slid handcuffs on your wrists and adjusted them roughly to the point they squeezed, but not too tightly. You squirmed and he interlocked his fingers with one of yours briefly and squeeze reassuringly before letting go and moving to do something else.

One hand still tracing the curve of your ass, you turned your head slightly so you could look behind you to look at him. He was focused on a leather leash, fiddling with it in his hands and your turned away again, anticipating the next moment.

He climbed on the bed on his knees, aligned with your ass. He pressed his clothed length into you and placed one hand firmly on your hip, the other brushed your hair away from your neck and you felt him latch the leash onto your collar.

You heard him take in a sharp breath and heard the sound of his zipper unzipping. He suddenly yanked you by the leash and you croaked as he pulled you up on your knees, your back flush with his chest as he breathed heavily in your ear.

He turned you around to face him in one sharp movement and you squeaked, his eyes instantly searching yours and his free hand that wasn't gripping the leash was reaching behind you and kneeding your bottom. 

You leaned in and kissed him passionately on the lips, needing to taste him in any way possible. He sucked on your bottom lip and pulled away briefly, "Please." You breathe against his lips as you push your tongue past his teeth and he groans.

He pulled away swiftly, his lips sparkling with spit as he hurriedly, impatiently unbuttoned his shirt. He tugged it off with a grunt and threw it on the floor, revealing his glistening pecks, biceps and toned stomach. Your lips parted in awe, and he smirked knowingly while he ruffled a hand through his dark hair.

He stepped off the bed briefly and he pulled down his pants and boxers, revealing his swollen length and his muscular thighs as he threw those to the floor as well, getting on his knees and making the bed dip again. 

He spun you around into your original position on your knees and stomach, your ass in the air, and he tugged back on the leash, making your head tilt upwards towards the ceiling and you accidentally moaned, and he snickered.

"Such a good little whore for me." He praised, tugging your head back by the leash even harder and aligning himself with your entrance, the tip of his cock teasing you by using your wetness and tracing your swollen sex and you whimpered, pressing back into him for more pressure. 

"Mm. My little girl is always so eager for me." He cooed, groping your ass cheek with one hand roughly, nails digging into the soft flesh as he held the leash tightly. You groaned and he snickered, rubbing your clit with his tip and you bit your lip to conceal your moan. 

"Beg for my cock." He commanded with his low and husky voice, and he yanks your neck back further and leans forward to attack your ass with his mouth, biting into the sensitive skin on one of your cheeks and you squeaked. 

"P-please, daddy. May I please have your c-cock?" You croaked slightly from the restraint on your throat, and he hummed appreciatively before he slowly eased the tip of his cock inside your entrance, before he split you open with no mercy and began pounding into you.

You moaned breathlessly as the sound of your bottom slapping against his hips echoed throughout the room, wiggling your wrists in their restraints and your neck aching from craning it so high. His cock slid in and out of you rapidly with ease, his dick striking your cervix and your knees threatening to give out beneath you. 

"Yes, yes!" You rasped breathlessly from the overloading pleasure building inside of you.

"Oh fuck, your pussy is mine. Only I get to feel how tight you are." He growled through his teeth with a harsh breath, pulling your neck back as your starry gaze is locked on the ceiling. Sweat was forming at your hair line and neck, and suddenly one of his hands collide with your ass cheek and you scream.

"Say it. Tell me your mine." He barked almost angrily, striking your ass again and causing the skin to tingle, causing you to clench around his dick and moan, the bed creaking beneath you.

"I'm y-yours!" 

He leaned over your body to where his chest was pressed into your back as he thrusted relentlessly into you from behind, his free arm wrapped around your breasts and palmed one in his hand, pinching your nipple and you buck your hips back into him as you feel your peak approaching from the sounds of his grunts and warm breathy moans in your ear, and the way his cock stroked inside of you perfectly.

His hand clutching the leash kept a tight grip on it even as he found your clit, causing your neck to crane back and to the side, and he attacked your neck with his lips just as his fingers found your clit, rubbing delicious circles into you and making you cry out, your legs shaking beneath you. 

"Yeah, that's right. Moan for daddy." He whispered in your ear and it sent shivers down your spine as your climax nearly reached its edge. Your moans were cracked and breathless, your restrained hands struggling but clawing at his bare chest anyways. 

"M-" You gasped as he pounded into you even harder and you were so close to your release. "May I cum, please, daddy? Please!" You screamed frantically, drooling all over the sheets in front of you as you rocked with his hips, the pleasure building immensely inside.

"Cum on daddy's cock." He grunted and you trembled as you came around him, sending you into shockwaves of pleasure as your body convulsed and clenched around him and tears stroll down your cheeks, your neck cracking as he yanks harder on the leash and squeezes your breast as he found his release after, pumping his seed deep in your guts with guttural groans.

He panted in your ear, letting go of the leash altogether and stroking your sweaty hair with his hand gently. He nuzzled his face in your shoulder, pressing a kiss against the skin before his length softened inside of you and he slipped out. He removed your handcuffs and leash and threw them to the ground, and you collided with the sheets, all of your limbs were sore. 

He crawled to his side of the bed, pulling you into him. You were both sticky with sweat and sex, your chest pressed to his as you nuzzled your face into his neck and breathed him in. Both of you were fully naked except for the collar you were still wearing. He wrapped his arm around your waist and you lifted one leg to wrap around his torso, and he chuckled breathlessly as he continued stroking your hair. 

It was only around 5pm, but you were physically exhausted from the treatment you'd just endured, and you fell asleep to the sound of his rapid heartbeat in his chest, one of his hands massaging your scalp and the other running up and down your thigh.

Your nap didn't last long before you awoke to Kylo pressing a firm yet sloppy kiss to your cheek and you mumbled nonsense, squirming in his grip and he chuckled.

"We need a shower." He whispered close to your ear, kissing your lips this time. You deepen the kiss and moan slightly and he pulls away with a smack, sitting you up with him and you slouched against his body, his arm still wrapped around your waist.

"I'm tired." You grumbled, nuzzling your face into his shoulder and he sighs, pulling you into his lap to where you were straddling him. He kissed you again, searching your mouth with his, before he stood up abruptly and you squeaked, his hands finding the backs of your thighs. 

He placed you on the floor and you stumbled a bit, and you followed him to the bathroom. You stood there awkwardly as he started the water, and he took slow steps towards you. He cupped your cheek with one hand, the other settling on your hip. He kissed you again, and you were wondering what had gotten into him but you kept your lips on his anyways.

He pulled away and his hand went down to your throat, and he fumbled with the diamond pendent of your choker, a smirk on his lips as his thumb brushed over his initials. He gripped the back of your neck and his eyes flickered to yours, soft and hazel. 

He unclamped the choker in the back and slowly removed it from your neck, carefully placing it on the counter. You caught your reflection in the mirror and gasped- a bruise of the collar was running along your whole neck. 

Kylo pinched your jaw and turned you back to face him, and his other hand was gently tracing over the bruise that had formed. He almost looked guilty for causing it, but you didn't mind the bruise as it wasn't painful. 

You got into the shower first and you hummed in appreciation when the hot water trickled down your body, soothing your exhausted limbs. Kylo stepped in behind you, both of his hands gripping your forearms as he steadied himself. 

"Kylo?" You mumble as you reach for the shampoo and he stepped out of the way so you could wet your hair. 

"Mm?" 

You began massaging the soap into your scalp, watching him do the same with your eyes squinted. "How are... how are you doing? You know, like," You rambled, you haven't had the opportunity to check up on him for awhile. "In there." You giggle nervously while gesturing towards his head and he smirked, aggressively scrubbing his skin.

He chuckled, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you into his soapy body, pressing another kiss to your forehead. You turned your head away and he narrowed his eyes at you, bringing his other hand to force you to look at him. 

"I'm fine." He grumbled blankly, letting you go altogether and making you stumble a bit. His face turned cold and he turned away from you, scrubbing even harder at his skin with a huff. 

"Gee, someone's grumpy." You mumbled to yourself, turning the opposite direction and planning on minding your own business, when his large hand squeezes the back of your neck and forced you to face him. 

"Repeat that." He growls, sending spit in your face and you shrugged. You had no idea what the sudden mood change was all about, and your body wouldn't be able to handle anymore of his punishing if that's how he chose to deal with you. 

"Nothing, nothing! Jesus, Kylo. Why are you being such an asshole? All I did was ask you how you were doing." You barked, rinsing off your body as quickly as possible and stepping out of the shower before he could do much. 

"What are you doing? Get back in here." He peaked out at you with a strong grip on the shower curtain, the muscles in his hand flexing as he furrows his eyebrows and watches you dry off. 

You didn't respond, wrapping the towel tightly around you and he sighed, using his dripping wet hand to rub his face roughly with an exasperated grunt. "Come back, i'm sorry. Come back in here." He rasps sincerely and beckons you, and you consider him but shake your head no. 

You heard a loud knock at the door downstairs and you tensed. "Someone's at the door." You mutter and leave the bathroom without another word. You heard the water shutting off behind you and you scurried out of the room and down the stairs with the towel clasped around your body. 

Once you reached the door there was a knock again, and you didn't bother checking who was there before opening it.

Poe stood there with a pack of white claws in his hands and his usual toothy grin. "Hey! Oh shit, catch you at a bad time?" 

You felt your whole face heat up, your heart threatening to beat out of your chest. If Kylo came down the stairs it would be over for the both of you. You blinked at him for awhile unsure of what to say.

"What the hell is on your neck?!"

"Uh... Well, I don't..." You sighed defeatedly, unable to form the words to explain what happened. "Come on in." You flashed him a tight lipped smile and opened the door for him and he stepped inside, heading straight for your couch. 

"Let me just... Put some, uh, clothes on first." You chuckled nervously and he nodded, and you sprinted up the stairs and straight to your bedroom.

Kylo was standing by your dresser with a towel clutching his waist, his incredible chest nearly blinding you from the shimmer of wetness. "Who was it?" He asked curiously, shaking his head to get the water out of his hair and running his fingers through it.

"He's uh, he's still here. I don't know how to get him to leave, I feel rude." You exaggerated your words and gestured with your hands, he shook his head again, looking away from you and fumbling with something in your dresser. 

"What do you mean he?" He spoke slowly, pulling a pair of underwear out of you drawer and tossing it in your direction, on the bed without looking back to you. "You answered the door with no clothes on?"

"My friend. He wants to know about my neck, too." You sighed obnoxiously, ignoring his last sentence and taking dramatic steps to the bed, picking up the underwear as he threw a t-shirt over his shoulder and on the bed as well. 

"Tell him." 

You snapped your head up to look at him as you tugged on the underwear, and he was dead serious. You laughed nervously and pulled the shirt on as well, throwing the towel to the floor. 

"What do you mean, tell him?" You attempted to mock his deep voice at the end as you tilted your head from side to side, making your way over to him with your hands on your hips. He pulled a pair of silk shorts out from your drawer and stretched the waistband with his fingers as he examined them and hummed. "Put these on." He completely ignored your teasing and commanded seriously, tossing them carelessly in your face.

You were about to protest but you put them on nevertheless, and you opened your mouth to speak when Poe screamed up the stairs, "You okay up there?" 

You froze in your spot and your eyes frantically flickered from Kylo and to the bedroom door. "She's fine." Kylo called back, and you impulsively slapped him in the arm and scoffed. "What are-" 

His hand flew out and clasped your mouth, his palm flesh with your lips and you squirmed as he pulled you into him.

"Whose up there?" 

"Kylo, stop!" Your words were muffled against his hand and he snickered, letting go of you and you shove him again and flash him a revolted look before brushing your shoulder against his roughly and stepping around him, marching out of the room. 

Now you had to convince Poe you had a random hookup, then maybe he would leave. You just hoped Kylo wouldn't pull another foolish act as he just did and get you both caught. 

You ran down the stairs and came face to face with Poe, his hand on the railing and one foot on the stairs as his face was full of bewilderment. "Who the fuck-"

"It's... It's a hookup. Just a one time thing, You kinda..." You whispered and he gasped before you could finish, his hands flying to his mouth as a humourous smile tugged on his lips. 

"Well damn, I see you. Getting over your little crush on that teacher." He chuckled and your cheeks turned a new shade of bright red, and his laughter died when he caught your face and he gasped again, taking a step back. 

"It's him isn't it?" He asked in disbelief, and your whole body tensed. You shook your head no stiffly and cleared you throat. 

"Um, no. Of course not. Please, you have to go. I'll call you I promise." You sounded unconvincing yet you begged, clasping your hands in front of you and bouncing with your knees bent. He sighed and seemed cautious, gathering his white claws off of the couch and heading for the door. 

"Have fun, but not too much fun. Don't forget to call me." He breathed with disappointment and you nodded and waved him goodbye, and he exited the front door without mustering another word. 

As soon as the door shut you growled, marching back up the stairs and into your bedroom, slamming the door shut behind you. Kylo was in nothing but a pair of black boxers, relaxing in your bed with the TV remote in his hand.

"Why would you do that?" 

He pushed himself off of the bed and trudged over to you with a humourous smirk and you crossed you arms in front of your chest. He cupped your elbows gently and forced you to uncross them, pulling you into him and leaning down, his face inches from yours.

"You're so cute when you're angry." He spoke quietly, his breath warm against your face and you fought off a smile, failing miserably. You lean in closer to him, his lips parting as yours barely brushed against his. "I don't want to be cute when i'm angry... I want to be scary." You whisper against his mouth, and he couldn't bear the proximity, he pushed his lips to yours and kissed you passionately.

You began to deepen the kiss, your hands running down his bare chest when he pulls away. "Then in that case, you are so scary." He teased with a wicked smile, reconnecting his lips with yours again.

"Mhm." You hum against his lips, pulling away suddenly and moving around him. You were hoping he would take things more seriously. That simple two words he spoke while Poe was here could've jeopardized your whole relationship, and you chose to say something about it. 

You stopped in your tracks towards the bed abruptly and stomped your foot, sharply turning to face him with a huff. "You can't do stuff like that! I saved our asses down there." You sounded exasperated as you slapped your thighs with your palms.

"What did you tell him?" He asked, crossing his arms over this chest and taking slow steps towards you, his eyebrow raised. You scoffed and shook your head, rolling your eyes.

"I told him you were just a random hookup and this was never happening again." You gestured between the two of you as you emphasized your words and he narrowed his eyes at you. "He already fucking knows. Well, he suspects." You barked, plopping down on the edge of the bed dramatically. 

"What do you mean, he suspects?" He mocked you with as high pitched of a tone his deep voice could muster, just as you did to him earlier, as he plopped himself down right next to you and watched attentively.

The insides of your stomach were fluttering nervously, and you swallowed thickly and let out a shaky breath. "First of all, when I first met you he knew I... liked you or whatever, because I wouldn't stop... blushing." You blinked rapidly and looked away from him, and he pinched your jaw and forced you to look at him and held it there. His eyes darted all around your face and he nodded with a faint smirk, nudging you on. 

"Then the whole Olive Garden thing happened, which was sketchy as hell by the way," You begin accusingly, raising your eyebrows at him and he huffs. "I'll take her." You mocked what he said that night in a deep voice again, and he wasn't amused in the slightest. 

"You're going to blame this on me, hm? You were the one getting drunk in the first place." 

You gasped and pushed yourself off of the bed, stepping in between his large legs and pointing at him accusingly. "You're a dick you know that? I don't fucking know why I love you." 

You stormed out of the bedroom and down the stairs, your heart stammering in your chest. You just admitted to loving him. You ran straight to the wine cabinet as you heard the heavy steps upstairs, and you popped open a bottle of tequila and chugged relentlessly. 

You were afraid how he would react. You had the sudden urge to puke, and that urge only furthered when Kylo came down the stairs. 

He looked utterly distraught, his face formed in permanent bewilderment and anger as he took quick steps towards you to the kitchen. The second he was arms length away from you, he yanked the tequila bottle out of your mouth and slammed it to the floor and you shrieked, glass shards flying across the room. 

His hand gripped your upper arm tightly and you winced, fighting off his grip on you. You gasped when you saw tears pooling in his eyes, his face bright red. "You love me?" He barked through gritted teeth, sending spit flying in your face as he pushed you back against the counter. 

You remained silent, stepping backwards and away from him. He sucked in a shaky breath, a tear gliding down his cheek and his whole face twitching. 

"You love me." His voice dropped a few octaves, suddenly softer and stated as a statement. Your fight or flea instinct took over, wanting nothing more than to vanish in midair and pretend the past twenty minutes hadn't happened- until his next action changed everything. 

"I love you, too."


	17. Just Lust

Things didn't go as smoothly as they appeared they would. You hoped the night would end romantically, or at least within reach of him. You should've known he would run away after he admitted his true feelings for you. That he would cower and leave you to fend for yourself. 

After he professed his love to you, he was clearly having an internal conflict, and it was frightening to visibly watch the cogs spin aggressively in his mind. He stood there and stared at you, and you swore he regretted the words that left his mouth, and his next action was a confirmation. 

Wordlessly, he spun on his heel, the shattered glass crunching beneath his bare feet. If it inflicted any pain on him he showed no sign of distress, marching up your stairs as you stood and watched dumbfounded. 

You could hear the floor boards creak intensely over your head, each step he took was thunderously apparent to you— you listened to his stomps, your heart seizing in your chest, your hand slowly crawling up your torso until you cradled your chest. 

You were frozen, your entire body felt immobile as you blinked at the emptiness before you, where he stood just seconds ago, proclaiming his love to you. 

You were a mixture of happy and afraid. The words nearly sounded forced out of his lips, as if it pained him to say them, and now he just left you to stand clueless in the center of your kitchen, a smashed bottle of alcohol surrounding you on the tile floors. 

You swore you could hear your heart thudding in your ears, a persistent thump, thump, thump, while you crouched down on your knees and carefully collected each shard of glass individually, placing them gently in your palm. 

After throughly checking the floor a couple of times, you gathered all of the pieces of glass and chucked them into to the trash can, feeling content with your work. 

Left pondering on what your next action should be, you took slow, cautious steps towards the staircase, resting your hand on the railing and peaking up. 

You were instantly met with your bedroom door slamming shut at the top of the stairs, with the sound of muffled, irritated groans. You hesitantly took a few steps, you had a terrible feeling wrenching in your gut.

One step, and you felt as if you were provoking a demon, trailing closer and closer to the fuming monster. 

Another step, your heart was thudding in the pads of your feet, the tips of your fingers, his raging sounds growing louder.

Just as you lifted your foot to take another step, your limbs felt heavy, as if you forcefully had to pick your leg up to continue your descent. 

Your bedroom door flew open and you squeaked in surprise, stumbling backwards as Kylo stormed out of your bedroom, his leather bag clutched tightly in his hand, spit spurting out of his clenched teeth with every breath he took.

"Kylo, what are you doing?" You asked slowly, worriedly, taking cautious steps away from the staircase as he came marching down, the stairs squealing beneath his weight. 

"I have to go. I can't do this." He sounded exasperated, distressed, but all you could see was the spark fading, dimming out. All you could hear was 'I give up.'

"W-what do you mean you can't do this?" You shouted, your hands coming down and slapping your thighs as you scoffed. "What is that supposed to mean?" Your cheeks felt as if they were bursting into flames, red and irritated as you balled your hands into fists at your sides. 

He averted his gaze to his feet, struggling to meet your furious gaze. "I don't know." He mumbled defeatedly, a shaky breath passing through his lips, his free hand feathering out his damp hair. 

"You don't know? What is this?" You spat, gesturing towards his bag with your eyebrows furrowed in disbelief. 

The foundation you spent building brick by brick with him felt as if it were cracking, crumbling into ruins around you. All of that time together, all of the obstacles you rounded for him. 

"I said. I don't. Know." He repeated through gritted teeth, his fist tightening around the handle of his bag. 

You scoffed, your demeanor was angry and outraged, but deep down you were terrified what this meant for the two of you, or whether or not any of this meant anything at all. Only hours ago, he had claimed you. The collar, the reassurance of him choosing you, the I love you.

Was it all meaningless? 

You felt tears brimming in the corner of your eyes and you were quick to blink them away, your entire body was buzzing as if it were vibrating, words crawling up your throat and dying once they reached your tongue. 

"You're a coward." You whispered, nearly unintelligibly. "You are such. A coward." You growled louder than the first time, snarling at him and crossing your arms in front of your chest.

He opened his mouth to speak, his face contorted in disbelief and guilt, but he closed it just as fast, his eyes were glossed over and red.

"You hurt me. And you're hurting me now..." You breathed, a single tear gliding down your cheek. You sniffled, wiping it away with your forearm instantly. 

He shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot, his eyes trailing down to the floor once again. He scratched his jaw aggressively, deep in thought, your words drilling holes straight into his heart.

"I'm sorry." He said sincerely, taking a single step closer. You took a step back, grimacing. "I never meant to hurt you. This was all a mistake, I was so caught up in the lust. I was infatuated." 

You just stood there, staring. All sound went faint in your ears, your vision blurry with tears, the sadness easily overthrowing the anger, a sorrow burdening in the crevices of your heart, your face twitching in despair.

"Get out." You leisurely brought up your shaky hand, pointing towards the door. 

"What?" 

"Get out of my house! Please! Leave. I never want to see you again. Go and be infatuated by another fucking student instead then if that's all this was." You screamed, he flinched at your words and sucked in a shaky breath, staring deep into your soul as if he could find the truth behind them, searching for if that was what you really wanted.

You gave nothing away, he nodded curtly in defeat and pursed his lips, his head bowed low in shame as he stepped over to your door. Your entire body was trembling, heated, buzzing as he glanced at you once more before opening the door. 

He hesitated, standing there, allowing the crisp warm air of early september to blow through your home. Your breath hitched in your throat as a thick, salty tear slid down his cheek while he met your gaze. 

"This is really what you want?" He asked in distraught, his massive frame hunched over, his face dulled out.

"What do you want me to say? You were planning on running away in the first place." You breathed in exasperation, aggressively raking a hand through your hair and plopping down on the edge of the couch. 

"I was going to come back. I just needed-"

You scowled, forcefully standing up again. "You can't just pick and choose when you get to be with me Kylo! You're delusional." You shook your head vigorously. "Please, listen to yourself, and how about then you can come back to me. When you understand how wrong you are." You pointed at him, jabbing your finger excessively. 

He was silent. His eyes flickered from yours and back to the floor repeatedly, as you stood there expectantly. 

"I'll try to understand." His voice dropped a few octaves, cracked and defeated as he stepped out of your house, avoiding eye contact as he clicked the door shut. 

The second he left your presence, when you heard the engine to his car fire up and speed away, you released a guttural scream, smacking a vase of flowers off of its stand as it shattered into hundreds of pieces. You then ripped books from the nearest shelf, chucking them across the room until they came crashing into picture frames.

Your vision was red, built upon fury, every action you took was a conceded blur while you destroyed and took out your rage on innocent room decor. 

After the angry outburst, your screams turned into sobs. You dropped to your knees, cradling yourself as endless tears poured down your cheeks, leaving a permanent indent in your being, your life felt incomplete all over again.

~

"You have to eat something." Poe pleaded, smoothing your hair out of your forehead. 

You didn't move, or speak. You've been lying in the exact same spot in your bed for three days, staring blankly at the wall, in hopes of waking from this overbearing nightmare. 

"What if I get you chicken nuggetttsss." He bribed with a toothy smile, leaning closer to you from the chair he had sat near your bed.

You didn't budge. You weren't entirely sure if you even heard his words. Everything around you felt out of place, and you simply felt... numb. Broken, lost, numb.

Poe sighed, patting you on the cheek and leaning backwards in his seat. "You have to get up. This isn't helping you at all. Don't you want to show him that you're better off without him?"

That was the only thing that caught your attention in the past few days, your gaze broke free from the wall and you met his, your eyebrows furrowed, your intake of breath increasing wildly. 

You completely forgot you told him everything that night. 

"No." Your response was blank. It was the truth. You wanted Kylo to feel the way he broke you, destroyed you. You wanted him to know, and you assumed he did, considering the fact you haven't shown up to school once since your fight.

You haven't checked your phone, it rung and buzzed over thirty times a day, and you just left it sitting untouched on your nightstand. You spent all of your time sleeping, crying, or staring at the wall.

Your heart was constantly wrenching in your chest, the flesh surrounding it crushing and squeezing it. Your chest felt tight, you took deep breaths through your mouth to relieve the soreness but it was useless every time. 

"Okay... We're getting somewhere." He breathed, stroking the stubble on his chin with a faint chuckle. 

Your phone began to ring. You've grown accustomed to ignoring the rings, you hardly even heard it, but Poe lifted it from your nightstand and examined it, his eyes widening and face falling.

"Who is it?" Your voice was a cracked whisper when you caught his reaction. He disregarded you completely, standing up abruptly and holding your phone to his ear, marching towards the door. You sat up forcefully, your back aching from the sudden movement as you seized his wrist, holding him there and staring up at him with pleading eyes.

"You have a lot of nerve calling." He growled, and you instantly knew who was on the other end.

You swallowed thickly, yanking the phone from his hand and putting it on speaker so you could listen, planning on remaining silent.

"Who is this?" Kylo asked sternly, his deep voice was flooded with sleepiness. 

"That's none of your concern. What do you want?" 

He sighed, the sound a distorted huff. "I would like to speak with Y/N." He breathed. "Please."

You and Poe exchanged a look, you nodded reassuringly and held the phone up to your ear, a shaky breath passing through your lips, your heart stammering in your chest. 

"W-what is it?" You asked meekly, your voice was croaky from lack of use.

"Baby, are you okay?" He rasped, concern lacing his deep voice when he heard the way you spoke. 

You sat there silently for a second, your free hand was trembling in your lap as you sat cross-legged, avoiding making eye contact with Poe. How were you meant to respond?

"You haven't been at school, you need to come, okay?" He ordered gently, blankly. "I'm worried about you." He added. 

You sighed, rubbing your face vigorously. "I'm sure you are." Your voice was soft and broken, you had no energy to argue with him. You just wanted things to go back to how they used to be. Before you could stop them, a tear slid down your cheek and you sniffled.

"I..." He trailed off, finishing off with a sigh. "I want to make this up to you."

You glanced at Poe, he shook his head no violently, flashing you a warning look. You opened your mouth to speak, closed it, repeating this a few times before you cleared your throat.

"I gotta go." 

You hung up without another word, your entire body was tense and rigid, your neck stiff as you sat there in a trance, staring down at your phone, the missing call log pulled up. 

There were dozens of missed calls from Kylo, and a few from your mother. Your eyebrows furrowed as you closed the tab, checking your messages. 

Kylo:  
Monday, 10:53pm.  
Y/N, i'm sorry. Please call me back.

Monday, 11:47pm.  
Please. I didn't mean it. 

Tuesday, 1:13am.  
I love you. 

You slammed your phone face down on the sheets, clutching your face in distraught, pursing your lips and blinking rapidly to hold back the tears, fighting them off with every ounce of self faculty you could muster in your weakest moment. 

Your demeanor changed completely then. You will clean yourself up, brace yourself for the moments to come, because tomorrow you were going back to school...

And you are going to fix this, whether that be ending it for good or assuring your future together.


	18. Can’t Control Me

You let out an exaggerated huff of air, your cheeks puffed out, your hands clammy and trembling against the leather curve of your steering wheel. You glanced at yourself in the rear view mirror, grimacing at the reflection you were greeted with. Your under eyes were a gnarly shade of purple and puffy, your cheeks were stained a blotchy red, and your neck was still managing to hold onto the faint outline of your collar. 

You shuddered, chewing your cracked bottom lip as you averted your gaze back to the road, the yellow stripes flying by in colorful blurs, the sun was cascading down and leaving a golden trail against the cement in its wake, everything surrounding you was good. Too good, considering your situation. 

You debated on abruptly slamming the breaks and making a sharp U-turn, to drive home as hurriedly as possible and act as if you were never prepared to return to school and face him. Not necessarily confront him, just approaching him would be difficult itself. 

You inhaled deeply, a soothing source of comfort shimmying it's way into your chest— that feeling instantly flooded out your body when you exhaled, the relief evaporating into nothingness, that painful throb left lingering in your chest. 

It took a lot of effort to make yourself remotely presentable for this moment, you took multiple showers the night before, ate a massive dinner with Poe, downed water by the bottle endlessly, and even picked up your skincare routine once again. 

You should feel refreshed, fortified— recollecting yourself only made things feel infeasibly worse than they had been before, and things were already horrendous. 

You sighed, idly peering down at the outfit you had chosen. Gray sweatpants, a slightly wrinkled t-shirt, and crocs. How classy of you. You rightfully didn't have enough energy to dress accordingly, or even descent, it was already difficult enough to wake up this early once again after sleeping in until the afternoon for the past few days.

To add on top of all of the overwhelming stress you were already persistently feeling ever since the fight, your parents would be returning from there business trip this Sunday, and you certainly wouldn't be capable of maintaining a steel facade around them, especially when they already made you want to rip your hair out of your scalp just by simply being around, constantly pestering or judging you.

"For gods sake!" You shouted, slamming your palms into the wheel before gripping it so tightly your knuckles were a blinding white, your chest heaving in exasperation. 

Your mind would not stop spinning, constantly leaving you dizzy and drowsy, a never ending game of ring-around-the-rosy. Typically, the only places you felt safe in were either your mind or Kylo's arms, and neither of them were liable options for you anymore. 

Approaching your school, you glanced at the clock in your car. You were early. You had no destination to retreat to as you waited for the morning bell to ring anymore, you were left to ponder and decide on how you shall spend your free time. 

Your parked your car with an aggravated huff, shoving the door open, slamming it shut, and clutching your backpack tightly around your shoulder while you strutted towards the main entrance. You took a few deep breaths with tranquility, calming down before you could psych yourself out and sprint back to your car.

You darted through the glass doors, peering around the empty, eerily silent halls, the only apparent sound was the squeak of your shoes against the tile and the shaky breath passing through your lips.

In hopes of avoiding the principal and Kylo, you steer clear of your default path, which was sadly the lengthier route towards your first period, your strides merciful as you waltzed through the english department. 

You heard a vividly familiar sound, your feet betrayed your mind and you halted in front of a random classroom. You couldn't identify one of the two silhouettes being portrayed through the foggy glass window, but you could identify one of them as no other than Kylo Ren. 

You hesitated, before you tiptoed towards the door, pressing your palms against the tile walls directly next to it and tilting your head, exposing your ear to get a thorough listen. 

"Mr. Ren... you seem to be under a lot of stress." You heard a women's voice, your face twisting in malice, disgust, as you caught the seductive tone wavering in her sickeningly thick voice. 

He cleared his throat, you could hear shuffling about the room. You clasped your hand tightly over your mouth to prevent yourself from making a single peep, sweat instantly forming around your lips. 

"I would suggest not touching me." He said sternly, and a sense of pride washed over you, but it shriveled and dried up nearly seconds later.

"I've touched you before, what's different?" And then it snapped inside of you. You recognized that voice, that teacher. Your clammy hand clenched at your side, the skin screaming for air as your entire hand turned wicked shades of red, purples and whites, threatening to explode into thousands of pieces.

Your other wavering hand slowly released your mouth, dropping to your side. You were drowning in disbelief, every intake of breath burned and sent a lack of oxygen straight to your brain.

"I said don't-" And then you heard his muffled, surprised grunt, your eyes bulged out of your head in rage, and before you could stop yourself you gripped the door handle and yanked it open, fuming, steam emitting from your nostrils. 

The women released her lips from his with a stunned squeak, stumbling away from him and smoothing out her dress, clearing her throat as if to restructure her stature. You scowled at her, your gaze darting from hers, and then to Kylo. 

He appeared defeated, darkness consuming his under eyes, an adjacent match to yours. His hair was unruly, his clothing was crinkled and unfitting, worry lines permanently creasing in his forehead— well, you couldn't tell if they were worry lines, or if it was because his eyebrows were knitted together. 

"Baby." He mouthed incoherently, shaking his head softly as you stood there and gaped at the two of them in absolute horror. You were fully aware he hadn't initiated the kiss, but with the lacking pump of your weakening heart, you felt your body contorting into sadness. 

Him calling you baby only began recently, and you loved the way his voice went entirely soft and tender, it managed to barely warm your numbing heart. 

A sad smile tugged at your lips, you glanced between them both a few times before you released the door handle, your knuckles relieved of the pain of your overly tight grip, and your eyes lingered on him for a few seconds longer than hers.

Your face portrayed plain disappointment on his half, resentment on hers. You took a few steps back, your mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water, he reached out to halt you just as you turned away and sprinted down the hallway. 

The early bell blared overhead, students filed in through the glass doors, spilling in and out of numerous classrooms. You were already gone, out of sight before he could stop you any further.

~

Sweat gathered in the crevices of your palm, transferring to the steel handle of the photography room. People were gathering around, exchanging bewildered looks with one another as you blocked there form of entry, sucking in shaky breaths. 

"Are you gonna...go?" Brock, the douchebag of the school taunted, chuckling at himself.

You glared at him from over your shoulder, the laughter died in his throat and he attempted to cover it up with a cough. You gritted your teeth, turning the door handle and shoving it open, stomping inside. 

You kept your gaze on the bypassing tile floors as you speed walked to your seat, plopping down with a gentle thud, dropping your bag to your side. To avoid making eye contact with Kylo, you traced the smooth, oak surface of your desk, fixating on the lines and pencil markings overtaking it. 

Chatter erupted loudly throughout the classroom, mixing with the screeches of chairs scooting in and the booming sound of the air conditioning kicking on. 

The bell chimed, conversations dying and turning into muffled whispers as everybody took there seats. 

You nervously glanced up at the front of the classroom, thankfully, Kylo had his attention set on the whiteboard, scribbling words down in his delicate handwriting, you could see the concentration in his tense face. 

He slowly placed the marker down in a metal tray with a tiny thunk, the class sat in an uncomfortable silence as he turned around and cleared his throat, clasping his hands in front of his abdomen. He licked his lips, his eyes darting to yours for a split second before you dropped them back to your desk, tapping your foot anxiously against the floor.

"Good evening, everybody. Today is a more independent day, it will be your last in class day to work on your assignment. Don't forget to turn it in by the beginning of class on Monday morning. You may begin." He finished with a curt nod, pursing his lips, clearing his throat a few times between words. 

His eyes met yours in brief desperation, a ring of guilt surrounding them, before he trudged over to his seat with his back hunched, his chair creaking as he sat down. He averted his focus to a few papers in front of him, tugging on his glasses with a sniffle. 

You tapped the desk in anticipation, studying the way all of the other students began pulling folders and there laptops out of there backpacks, having idle conversations with there friends. You sat there cluelessly, unsure of the assignment, debating on whether or not it was worth asking for instructions on.

You hesitated before you softly tapped the kids shoulder who sits next to you. He turned his head to face you with an acknowledging hum, his eyebrows raised. You swallowed thickly, a queasy smile tugging at your lips. 

"Um, h-hi, sorry. I haven't been to school for the past few days... do you mind filling me in on what I missed?" You asked meekly, slightly cowering backwards. 

He flashed you a welcoming smile with a small nod, placing his palms on his green folder. "Yeah, sure. I'm Finn by the way." He offered a hand, you shook it firmly with a smile back, telling him your own name in response.

He must've been a new student, you haven't seen him around before, and you considered him extremely friendly already. 

"Okay, so, you just missed the editing section. Mr. Ren taught us how to use special programs on our computers and edit them." 

You nodded, secretly you already knew how to do all of those things, considering the amount of times you've taken this class, but you chose to keep your mouth shut and flash him a friendly smile. 

"Ohh, okay. Thanks, Finn." You said appreciatively and he smiled a toothy grin, scratching the back of his ear and returning to examining the contents in his folder. 

You pondered, deciding on doing the assignment later, it was rather simple and if it came down to it you could just reuse an old photo from your previous years of taking this class. 

The period was going by torturously slowly, you caught yourself glancing at the clock every two minutes and groaning internally when the hand had barely moved a centimeter. You avoided any form of contact with Kylo, keeping your gaze down low, and he seemed to respect your space by keeping to himself. 

That is, until the end of the period. 

"Hey, would you ever want to hang out after school? I haven't really made many friends yet, and you seem awesome." Finn asked abruptly with a breathy chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

You nodded frantically, forcing an overjoyed smile on your lips. You sincerely wanted to befriend him, smiling had just been rather difficult recently.

"Yes, of course! That would be so fun. I actually know just the guy who would love to be your friend as well." You said with a cheery wink, he laughed to himself just as the bell began to ring. 

You both began to tug on your backpacks, he gathered his belongings and stuffed them inside, flashing you one last smile before he turned for the exit. You followed closely behind, nearly reaching the door-

Kylo spoke your name lowly, the sound a deep hum from the depths of his chest. You swallowed harshly, fresh, tingly goosebumps slithering up your legs as you leisurely turned your neck to face him. 

His leather shoes creased with each slow step he took in your direction, you were internally screaming at yourself to sprint out the door without turning back, but your feet were planted to the floor, as if prickly vines had rooted from the tile and seized your limbs, pinning you down helplessly. 

"I see you made a new friend." He mumbled lowly, dragging his pen along the passing desk as he stalked closer and closer to you. Your brain was scattered, your heart beating in your throat as you wearily watched him. 

"Yeah. I see you rekindled one of your friendships." You snapped, referring to the other teacher, your voice filled with spite while he grew only a few feet away, towering over you with an excruciating, dark gaze. 

"I don't think I like him." He explained seriously, ignoring your accusation, pursing his lips tightly and shaking his head no firmly, his hands on his hips. 

You let out an unamused laugh. "Okay?" You snorted, staring at him incredulously. "I guess it's a good thing he isn't your friend then." 

He sighed, stepping impossibly closer, you went to take a step back only to collide with the oak door behind you. You internally cursed yourself, barring your teeth together nervously as he leaned forward and pressed his arm into the door beside your head. 

"I mean... I don't think I like him around you." He corrected himself, raising his eyebrows as he spoke lowly, his free hand coming up and giving you a soft tap on the nose with his fingertip. 

You flinched, narrowing your eyes at him. You genuinely couldn't believe he thought he had the right to tell you who your friends were, or even state his opinion on the matter.

"It shouldn't matter to you, Kylo, you can't control me. Not anymore." You shook your head no frantically, your voice was exasperated, sorrowful, not an ounce of bitterness in your tone regardless of how frustrated you truly were. 

"I thought I told you," He grunted, rubbing his forefinger and thumb together next to your head, wetting his bottom lip and trapping you with his gaze. "That you will always be mine."


	19. Tell me what you Want

You opened your mouth to speak, only to become illiterate entirely, incapable of forming any sort of response to his statement, squirming beneath his massive frame barricading you against the door.

His hand flattened against your lower region and you shuddered as he snaked his hand up your stomach, skimming past your breast with a rough squeeze, gliding his fingers against your collarbone, until his hand rested against your throat. He traced the faint bruise lingering on your delicate skin, clenching his jaw.

"Where is your collar?" He breathed disappointedly, the heat of his voice wafting into your face as he leaned in, face inches from yours, his eyes darting between your lips and eyes. 

You shook your head, half of you wishing you could vanish, the other half yearning to melt into his touch. Your entire body felt like a blazing flame, your fingertips buzzing with a form of adrenaline and pure need, regardless of your mind pleading for you to break free.

"Poor little girl," He snickered, his fingers squeezing your throat as he gritted his teeth, leaning in until his lips brushed against yours and sent electricity through your being, "You truly think I was going to let you stay away from me that easily?" 

His lips latched onto yours before you could form a reaction, your eyelids fluttering shut as you moaned in surprise against his mouth, his hand clutching your throat forcefully and his other hand still trapping you against the door. He deepened the kiss, grinding his clothed length into you with a muffled grunt. 

You broke free from the captivation his lips held on you, your face twisting in disgust as he pulled away in sheer shock. "You thought I would let you use me again?" You chuckled breathlessly, a sinister smile taking shelter on your lips as you pressed both hands onto his chest, leisurely shoving him backwards.

His breath hitched in his throat as he stumbled over his own foot, you laughed menacingly, shoving him backwards until you reached his desk; you pushed him down forcefully into his chair, squeaking at the sudden burden of his weight, his face contorting into bewilderment, eyebrows knitting together.

"I think it's time you get taught a lesson, daddy." You smiled wickedly, climbing into his lap and straddling his bulky thighs. He blinked in surprise, a gleam of desire trickling in his eyes as you began slowly, tauntingly grinding into his length, eliciting a barely coherent, deep whimper from his throat as his hands found your hips. 

"You're funny," He chuckled, "Little girl thinks she can take control of me, hm?" A humored smirk tugged at his lips as you snarled at him, flashing him a deadly look and removing yourself from his lap alltogether. He whined, a small huff escaping his throat. 

You smirked, "Are you sure about that?" You mused as you looped the band of your sweats and slowly began to tug them down, past your thighs, his eyes widened and he sniffled in frustration. You pulled them past your knees, all the way until they dropped carelessly to your ankles, you bit your lip seductively.

You kicked them off, studying his reaction idly. He tapped his long fingers against the armrests of his chair, his face lit up in anticipation and amusement; but then you saw it. His cock twitching in his pants while you ripped off your shirt, palming your own breasts with a soft moan, licking your lips and meeting his possessive gaze. 

You straddled him again, he grunted as you applied pressure onto his swollen length with your cunt, softly grinding into him again, barely brushing his cock. He groaned, clearing his throat in an attempt to cover up the sound, his hands moving back to your hips. 

You slightly scooted back, palming his bulge with yours hands as he squeezed your hip bones, accidentally bucking his hips into your hand. "Stop teasing," He growled through gritted teeth, you snickered, tauntingly unbuckling his belt and throwing it to the floor with a loud clank. 

"But i'm just having a little fun, daddy." You whined with a pouty lip, unzipping his jeans and dipping a finger inside, tracing his cock through his pants with your own moan, his cock flexing beneath your fingertip. 

You forcefully yanked it out of his pants and he seethed, his teeth barred together and his face growing red with impatience. You slowly thumbed the head of his cock, spreading his precum as a distinct, erotic moan crackled past his lips, bucking his hips again. 

"You're so needy." You giggled, scooting forward again and adjusting yourself, aligning yourself with his entrance as he clasped onto your hips for dear life. You shoved your panties to the side. "Do you want my cunt?"

He glared at you, hesitating for awhile, and just as you began to remove yourself from him again, he tugged you closer and nodded frantically with a deep, pleading whimper, the sound sending bliss throughout your body. 

"Come on... what do you say?" You teased, taking his hand in yours and sealing your lips around two of his fingers as he shuddered, your tongue twirling around the crevices of his fingers. 

"Fucking slut," He spat, his face twitching in frustration, sexual frustration, his cock throbbing beneath you. "I'm not going to beg for this cunt, it's already mine." 

You had the sudden urge to slap him, your hand twitching at your side, but you held back the anger to the best of your abilities, instead, your rubbed your clit against the tip of his cock with a quiet moan, his face contorting in pleasure as he held his breath. 

"Daddy," You whined, rubbing against him a second time. "Tell me what you want." 

He groaned, glaring at you through hooded eyes, his mouth sputtering as he struggled to respond. "I want you to ride me, baby." He breathed shamefully, clenching his jaw in annoyance as you let out a satisfied hum, smiling. 

You brushed yourself against him again, still not letting up, not completely satisfied with his response. "Beg." You demanded, his cheeks turned a faint shade of red as he swallowed harshly. 

"Please." Hs grumbled unenthusiastically, you sighed, sinking down about halfway as a pleasured groan rattled through him, his head tilting backward and his mouth plopped open. You whimpered, before you slid off of him again and he writhed beneath you, staring at you with pleading eyes. 

"Please, please baby." He whined, his voice deep and hoarse, cracking with denial as you finally felt satisfied with his response, fully sinking down onto him slowly as a wanton moan escaped each of your throats at once. 

"Goddd." He groaned, thrusting his hips up into you slightly. You placed both of your hands on his large shoulders as you began to glide up and down his cock, using your legs for power, your chin craning towards the ceiling as you whimper, his length stretching out your walls as you slowly moved along his shaft. 

You rolled your hips into him, his cock splitting you open as you rode at your own pace, opening your eyes to see his eyes sealed shut, head tilted towards the ceiling as well, breathless gasps escaping his lips.

"You're so wet." He praised, his eyebrows crinkled in pleasure and his lip twitching as you picked up your pace, your tits bouncing as you moaned, your neglected clit swollen. 

"Touch me." You moaned, without hesitating one of his hands left your hip, using his mouth to wet his fingers and he began massaging your clit, pinching and rubbing as you fucked yourself with his cock, clenching around him as you met the base, eliciting a cracked groan from him. 

He thrusted up into you forcefully, impatiently, his entire face twitching while animalistic sounds erupted deeply from his chest, his black hair was scruffy and falling into his face while his mouth hung open in erotic pleasure, your limbs were aching from the effort of bouncing on his cock. 

As you quickened your pace, loud smacking sounds and your moans echoing through the room, you felt his cock twitch inside of you and you tsked breathlessly, he let out a choked cry as you began slowing your pace to prevent him from cumming. 

"W-what are you doing?" He asked, his eyes flickering between yours with his eyebrows furrowed, his under eyes twitching as you rode him. 

You failed to respond, chewing on your bottom lip as the feeling of his tip stroking your cervix slowly created a warm knot in your stomach, your climax approaching rapidly as he continued to rub your clit, your legs shaking.

"Oh, yes, fuck!" He screamed, "Cum on my cock, yes!" He began pounding up into you to meet your lazy thrusts, you let out a wanton moan as you felt your release approaching, clutching onto his shoulder tighter as you eyes sealed shut, mouth opened in pure ecstasy, the feeling of his cock inside of you after these last few days was refreshing and intoxicating. 

One last strike of his cock and you twitched, moaning breathlessly as you began picking up your pace against his cock again as you clenched and came, your body trembling as you use your hands to help you down on him, his breath hitching in his throat as you came, cock throbbing and twitching inside of you.

You clenched again, refusing to remove yourself from his cock even as you came, your cum making a slick sound with each thrust he made up into you, a guttural moan escaped his lips as you reached a hand down and massaged his balls; he was about to cum. 

"Do you wanna cum?" You breathed, he nodded frantically and whimpered, his cheeks puffing out as he struggled to hang onto his sanity. 

You raised your eyebrows at him and he huffed, he knew what you were asking. You want him to beg. He hesitated, before you squeeze his balls roughly and he yelped.

"Fuck!" He spat, his face was crimson as his eyes, dark and ravenous, met yours. "Please, make daddy cum, please." He rasped, "Baby."

So vulnerable. You could get used to this sight.

"Whose cock is this?" You asked breathlessly, regaining your energy, pounding down on him while he moaned and squirmed beneath you, panting breathlessly, growling. 

"Yours, it's yours," He rasped, twitching inside of you again and bruising your hipbone with his thumb. "Fuck! You're gonna make me cum!" He bellowed, his voice was croaky with desperation.

You fucked him impossibly further and he howled, "Cum in me." You moaned, his tip striking you again as you swallowed harshly to wash away your second climax approaching. He hissed curses under his breath, pounding up into you like an animal, your body bouncing with his movements.

He released hot jets of cum inside of you with a thunderous groan, his hips thrusting up into you ravenously. "God, fuck!" He slowed his pace in you with faint grunts, recovering from his climax as you collapsed into his chest, sweat drenching your thighs, cum leaking from the sides of his cock as it rested inside of you.

His breath was sharp and hitched in your ear as he shakily brought up a hand and massaged your scalp, fingers threading through your hair gently, your cheek resting on his shoulder as you struggled to catch your breath. 

You sat there in a comfortable silence for awhile, you could feel his heartbeat drumming against your chest and you sealed your eyes shut while you panted, feeling his length soften inside of you.

Things were going shockingly well, you relaxed against his heaving frame as he continuously stroked your hair softly, pressing a kiss to your earlobe, before resting his chin on your shoulder and wrapping you in his arms.

"I'm sorry," He breathed, swallowing thickly with a grunt, pressing another kiss but on your bare shoulder. You nodded hesitantly in response, sliding off of his cock with a pained whimper, he gripped onto your hips and eased you off of him. 

As you began to pull away from his lap he tugged you closer, leaving a soft kiss on your lips, sending bliss and adoration through your veins. You let out a faltering smile, still panting, as you kissed him back once more before you stepped off of him.

You readjusted your underwear, feeling the cum drip down your thighs. He must've noticed, because he placed two hands on your ass and pulled you into the space in between his legs, collecting a tissue from his desk and making cautious eye contact with you as he wiped it all off. You winced, your inner thighs were sensitive, he softened the pressure and swallowed harshly, guilt and shame were splayed across his features. 

It was infeasible to disregard the endearment, the love you felt for him, even though your original plan was to fuck him and leave immediately after... you simply couldn't. His every movement was mesmerizing, sucking you into his thick spider web, his trap, captivating you.

His eyes darted back to yours, a smile slowly tugged at his lips when he caught you staring at him in fascination. He discarded the tissue into the trash can, fumbling with his watch on his wrist, adjusting the strap.

"I want you to do something for me," He said seriously, focusing on his watch, you opened your mouth to protest but he held out a hand to stop you, "Before you say no, just please, listen." He waved his hand at you, clenching his jaw and staring up at you.

You nodded hesitantly, and he let out a breath of relief. "I want you to come stay the night with me at my hotel. I'll make all of this up to you." He spoke with pleading eyes, his voice was exhausted and drained. 

You considered saying no, for your own sake, to save yourself before it was too late, but your body betrayed you yet again and you nodded with a wavering smile. 

"Great," He exclaimed with a toothy grin, standing up and gripping your elbows. He leaned forward and pressed a swift, soft kiss to your lips. "I'll send you the information. 7pm. Don't be late." 

"Okay." You chuckled, he brushed past you and gathered his coat and car keys, opening the door and holding it open for you, towering over you with a smile as you walked past him. He clicked the door shut behind you both, giving you a curt nod and heading the opposite way.

You stood there in bewilderment, your eyebrows crinkled. You were struggling to recollect what had just happened; how you dominated him, watched him plead for you, and then he apologized?

What in the hell is going on?


	20. And I need You

You dropped your backpack to the floor in exhaustion, sealing the door shut tightly behind you, trudging to the kitchen. Your legs felt like jello; muscles screaming at you for rest, your inner thighs aching. You intentionally disregarded the pain, filling yourself up a glass of cool water and chugging it relentlessly, hoping to wash away the stickiness lingering in your throat. 

What you did today was... out of line, bizarre, intoxicating, but even though you enjoyed the temporary dominance, you were afraid to ever try that foolish act again. You were shocked he even allowed you the pleasure of overpowering him even once, because you knew how much he craved faculty. 

You shook the thoughts out of your head vigorously, filling your glass a second time, occasionally sipping on it as you stood stiffly behind the counter, tapping the smooth granite with your nails. Technically, you were waiting for Poe to arrive, he had been sleeping on your couch for the past few nights, but you were also busy formulating a lie to tell him. You wouldn't dare let him know you were planning on staying at a hotel with Kylo tonight, he would be rightfully infuriated with you, considering the fact he's cared for you attentively through your mild depression.

You sighed, hoping to relieve the guilt stimulating within your chest. You felt impeccably ungrateful, he catered to your every need and cradled you, and you were repaying his kindness by lying to him about the man he was comforting you over. You groaned bitterly, slamming your glass down with a thud, before you dragged your feet over to the refrigerator.

You idly examined an apple, it was slightly bruised, you shrugged and bit into it, taking a few obnoxious bites and closing the fridge doors, just as there was a brief knock on the door and it swung open. 

"Hey," Poe smiled with a lazy wave, setting his car keys on the nearest coffee table to the entrance and walking towards you, "How was your first day back? I didn't see you in 7th." He crossed his arms in front of his chest defensively, cocking a brow and leaning against the wall, examining the way you tensed and took another hesitant bite of your apple with wide eyes.

You slowly raised your forearm to your lips, chewing slowly as you wiped the juices off of your lips, easing your eyes back to there normal size. You swallowed harshly, "I-It was okay." You cursed yourself internally when you heard the way your voice shook, he nodded cautiously and narrowed his eyes. 

"How was photography?" He asked curiously, knowingly, even. You cleared your throat and plastered on a false grin, taking another bite of your apple and shrugging yet again.

"Better than I thought," you mused through a full mouth, tilting your head from side to side, "He didn't bother talking to me," You breathed, "Thankfully." You added quickly just for good measure, and by the way his face relaxed you let out a breath of relief. 

"Well, i'm glad." He laughed, "And i'm proud of you. For finally letting him go." 

That familiar guilt crawled it's way back into your chest, and judging by the concerned look on his face, you either turned as pale as a ghost, or as red as a tomato, either or, you appeared suspicious. 

He cursed your name, throwing his hands out in exasperation, staring at you in disappointment. Just as he opened his mouth hurriedly to bark at you, you held out a hand and shook your head no rapidly.

"No," You breathed, still holding out your hands. "It isn't what you think. It's just hard to let go..." You said pointedly, biting your lip nervously and furrowing your eyebrows, tossing your apple into the garbage can carelessly as he sighed, rubbing his forehead.

"I loved him, you know. Really loved him." You exclaimed, gesturing with your hands as your bottom lip slightly quivered. "Still love him." You corrected, blinking away the tears that were building in your eyes and taking a step back. 

"I know," He sighed dramatically, running a hand through his curly hair, "Thats what worries me. Look. All i'm saying is, don't do anything stupid." He raised his eyebrows, waving a finger at you. 

You nodded, building up the courage to form and excuse of why you needed to leave for the night. You pondered on your options, flipping back and forth between a few scenarios. 

"By the way, tonight I have plans." You said, forcing a giddy smile on your lips to appear excited to finally get out of the house.

He nodded, an impressed look on his face as he idly clapped his hands sarcastically, "Hell yeah! What's your plans?" He took a step closer and patted your shoulder with a ginormous grin. 

You suddenly began to panic, realizing you didn't think of the details before blurting something out. "Umm, well, my friend from out of town invited me over to... catch up." You nodded curtly, feeling confident with your response.

He appeared convinced, his smile deepening. He glanced over your shoulder at the clock, giving your shoulder another pat. "I'll leave you to it, go have fun. You deserve it." He said, dropping his hand to his side and turning towards the door. "Remember, i'm always a phone call away. Let me know if you need anything." 

"Thanks, Poe. Love ya." You waved and blew a kiss, chuckling as he blew one back and collected his jacket from off of your couch from the day before and his keys off of the table, turning the door handle and allowing the humid air inside of your house, mixing with the overbearing coldness of the air conditioning.

"Love you too, bye." He waved back, smiling and sealing the door shut behind him as he exited.

You lingered by the fridge for a moment, waiting a few seconds before you let out a deep breath you hadn't meant to hold in, clutching your chest in relief. Although you still felt horrible for lying to him, you felt lucky to have a supportive best friend; which reminded you. Finn. You had completely forgotten to mention him to Poe, but you waved it off and noted to bring him up later. 

For now, you needed to mentally and most likely physically prepare for tonight. 

You started off by taking a much needed shower, cleansing yourself of the cum that had dried up on your thighs, taking an exceptionally long time washing your hair and kneeding your sensitive skin, freshly shaving your entire body, all of that. 

Bantering at yourself in the foggy, dew stained mirror, you examined your face with a frown. You could use a makeover. Clutching your towel tightly to your damp body, you brushed your hair idly through the wet tangles, water droplets dripping all over the tile flooring. 

After blow drying your hair, you stared at yourself yet again, completely unhappy with the reflection you were meant with, your insecurities bolded. A sly smile began tugging at your lips; you needed to have a glow-up, make yourself stunning, for your mental health and for the sake of taunting Kylo. 

You ran to your closet frantically, chuckling wickedly to yourself, scanning through your dresses until you gasped audibly, pulling out the perfect dress for this occasion. 

A deep, burgundy dress, silk and reflecting the lights overhead. It had a low cut neckline, revealing more breasts than necessary, the hem ending a little above mid thigh. It was gorgeous, after slipping it on you checked yourself out in the mirror, already feeling slightly impressed with your appearance. 

You glanced at the time on your phone, it read 5:23pm. You sighed, hurrying back to the bathroom. You spent around an hour curling your hair in looser but bouncy curls, jamming out to 2000's hits and singing with no restraint, when your eyes darted to your collar; sitting pliantly, innocently on the edge of your bathroom counter where Kylo had left it. 

You sucked in a harsh breath, suddenly over aware of how luxurious and delicate it truly was. You sat your curling iron down, unplugging it and tucking it away into your cabinet lazily, picking up the collar lightly. You gently rubbed your fingers into the velvet material, a faint smile tugging at your lips as you ran your thumb across the pendent, admiring his initials. 

Without hesitation, you wrapped the dainty material around your neck, adjusting it, slightly struggling to clip it. It took a few grunts and curses before it finally latched and you sighed contently, staring at the dazzling diamonds catching the bright lighting of your lights. 

You moved on to make up then, your heart fluttering in your chest as the time to head towards his hotel grew nearer. You were nervous, your stomach was grumbling with anticipation. 

You applied concealer to your under eyes, concealing the purple, setting it with an overly expensive powder and a few sprays. You then applied a light amount of blush to refurbish the rosiness that's typically there, a thick coat of mascara to lengthen your eyelashes, and a devious shade of peachy nude lipstick; avoiding red to contrast with your dress. 

As you began applying another round off setting spray to your makeup glazed face, your phone vibrated against your vanity. You finished off the spray, adding your signature perfume; a light, flowery scent, topped with a bit of scandalousness, before you picked up your phone to have received a text from Kylo.

Kylo:  
Thursday, 6:31pm.

Marionette Springs, Room 341, 3rd floor. See you at 7.

You blinked a few times before nodding to yourself in the mirror, giving yourself a silent pep talk with your eyes, typing up a message back with steady thumbs.

You:  
Thursday, 6:33pm.

Ok. See ya soon.

You reread your reply a few times nervously before sending it, sighing and making sure everything was in place. Your dress, makeup, hair. It was all perfect. All you needed to top it all off was jewelry and shoes, and you decided upon heading to your mothers closet to borrow something, she had tons of both items. 

Sneaking your way past the massive king sized bed, you tiptoed to her walk-in closet, fingers running along the vast amount of clothing she owned. She never let you borrow any of her belongings, or even allowed you in her closet at all, now that you thought about it. 

Your eyes skimmed over her shoes, you dove straight for a black pair of stilettos, fishing them off of there rack and slipping them on your feet. "Woah," You rasped out loud, stumbling a bit and uselessly gripping onto her clothes for support before you caught your balance. 

You strutted over to her jewelry holder, it took a few minutes for you to get used to the clanking of your heels. You eventually blocked it out entirely, choosing a pair of black diamond studs to slip into your ears, smiling at yourself in the mirror. 

Glancing at your phone again, you yelped when you read the time; it was a quarter 'til 7pm. You sprinted to your room, throwing extra undergarments, a nightgown, your toothbrush, and charger inside, calling it enough and jogging down the stairs as fast as your heeled feet could carry you. 

You frantically picked up your car keys and ran outside, locking the door behind you and skipping across the driveway. You hopped into your car, revving the engine and zooming away, your tires squealing. 

You punched in the address of his hotel into your GPS, it was only about ten minutes down the road. You tapped the steering wheel nervously, bobbing your head slightly to the music playing on the radio, avoiding biting your lip in fear of smudging your lipstick. 

As the hotel came into view; you instantly noticed how upscale it was. The exterior was grand, flooded with gold trimming and stone pillars, amber lights leading a path to the entrance where a chauffeur awaited with his arms crossed behind his back, nodding curtly at you. 

You slowed down, pulling up next to him and rolling down your window, bowing your head to meet his gaze. 

"Good evening, ma'am. If you may step out of your car and allow me to park it for you?" His voice carried a thick, proper accent. 

You nodded hesitantly, opening your mouth to speak a few times before you simply left the car running and grabbed your belongings. As you reached for the door handle, the man had already rounded the car and opened it for you, bowing with a stern smile and adjusting his bow tie. 

Classy, you liked it. 

"Thanks," You muttered awkwardly, throwing your bag over your shoulder and throwing your phone inside. He gave you one last curt nod before hopping into your car, slowly pulling away and towards the expansive parking lot. 

You glanced at your vehicle from over your shoulder a few times, not entirely trusting of the man with your car, before another well dressed man held the door to the main entrance open for you, gesturing for you to step inside with a soft smile.

"Thank you." You thanked appreciatively again, your tone was wavering between confidence and nervousness as you clutched your bag tighter, suddenly your heart was threatening to pound out of your chest, and you were feeling uneasy, nauseous. 

Your feet clacked softly with each step against the bronze tile, your eyes scanning the perimeter with your mouth slightly agape. The ceilings were exceedingly high, fancy golden chandeliers dangling from overhead, along with a massive window with a skylight view of the pinkish, orange sky, the sun had been setting.

There was a luxurious bar to your right, a fancy seating area to the left, and a grand marble desk in the center of it all, numerous employees in formal wear typing away at there computers and checking in customers. 

"Excuse me, ma'am?" A women cleared her throat next to you and you squeaked, jolting, clearing your throat to recollect yourself as a tall, gray haired women stood in a pantsuit, a bitter smile on her lips. 

"Y-yes? Sorry." You replied nervously, smoothing out your dress.

"You have to check in at the desk." She pointed, her mouth twisting downward in distaste. 

As you opened your mouth to speak she looked you up and down with a faint scowl, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "You must have a reservation to enter. I have a feeling you don't." She spat distrustfully, earning her a glare from you.

"Actually, i'm here to visit somebody." You snapped, mocking her stance and cocking a brow. 

She sighed, pulling out a clipboard from the counter behind her, eyes darting between the contents on the paper and your face, "Name?" 

You wanted to sucker punch her for completely misjudging you and assuming you didn't belong here, but instead you sighed and cleared your throat again, "Ren. Kylo Ren." You tapped your foot impatiently and her eyes widened slightly, she nodded curtly and pursed her lips.

"I see," She breathed, looking you up and down again and turning on her heel, "I will lead you to his room then." She explained pitifully, tilting her chin up in defiance as you held back a snicker, pride washing over you as you followed behind her.

She wordlessly lead you into an elevator, the doors chiming and sliding shut. Elegant music played nearly incoherently from the speakers as you both stood in an uncomfortable silence, staring ahead and fidgeting with your fingers.

The elevator came to a concluded stop, the doors whirred open with a ding. She gestured for you to follow, marching down a wide hallway and making a sharp turn. The pads of your feet were already growing sore from the unfamiliarity of these heels, and a faltering smile was plastered on your face as she abruptly stopped in front of room 341.

"Have a fantastic rest of your evening, miss." She gritted her teeth in annoyance, forcing a smile and nodding, storming off before you could respond. 

You lingered outside of the door for a few seconds, before you inhaled deeply and pushed the door open. You latched the door shut behind you quietly, before your gaze fell upon the suite. 

There was a singular king sized bed propped up on a tiled platform, a ginormous window behind it, allowing a wonderful video of the sunset dispersing behind the city lights, the rest of the room was elegant and golden like the rest of the hotel. 

"God..." You heard that deep husky voice mumble in awe, and your eyes snapped straight to Kylo. His parted lips were covered by his pointer finger, eyes wide and filled with desire, fascination. He took a few methodical steps closer, his eyes trailing up and down your figure as you felt frozen in his piercing gaze. 

He stopped a few feet away from you, rubbing his upper lip with his finger and blinking to recollect himself. "You... are so fucking beautiful." He breathed, his eyes leisurely raking your body until he met your gaze. 

You felt your natural blush take shelter on your cheeks, heating the tips of your ears with a scorching flame. He was dressed in an all black suit, a black button up and tie tucked beneath his blazer, those all to familiar black leather shoes snuggly consuming his feet. 

"This place is..." You changed the subject with a nervous chuckle, "Lovely." You wiggled your eyebrows slightly, standing near the door awkwardly as he stared at you silently. 

"Indeed." He cleared his throat and broke his gaze from yours briefly, offering you a hand which you took without hesitation, eyeing the way his hand dwarfed yours entirely. Veiny, masculine, bare. Sexy. 

His gaze flickered down to your feet and he smirked, "You're feet must be killing you." He grumbled as if he had read your mind, gently guiding you towards the bed. He just knew you, it wasn't difficult for him to uncover that you were uncomfortable.

He placed both hands on your hips and steadily seated you on the edge of the bed, you watched with tingling cheeks and softening eyes as he lowered himself, crouching down in front of you, his fingers dancing along your skin and dragging down your thighs, calves, and to your ankles, his eyes never freeing yours of there captivation. 

His calloused fingertips traced your ankle, before he gently unclasped the strap surrounding your ankle, his other hand was holding your foot entirely. Goosebumps bubbled at your skin as he softly eased the heel off. He repeated this with the other foot, before he took one in both of his hands.

His thumbs massaged the pads of your aching foot and a moan slipped out, his finger working against the forefront of your foot and he smiled, bringing your foot to his mouth and pressing a pliant kiss on top. 

"You're so gorgeous, baby." He breathed against your foot, pressing another soft kiss and deepening his fingers into your skin, "I just can't get enough of you." He pursed his lips and stared at you with an intense seriousness, your eyes fluttering shut from the content his massage was bringing you. 

"I'm glad you came here tonight. I needed you," He exclaimed, continuously rubbing your foot with one hand as he scooted into the space between your legs. He still managed to be nearly eye level with you, his eyes darted between yours with a distinct adoration, before he cupped your cheek with his free hand and kissed you. A passionate, desirable, gentle kiss that overthrew your senses entirely, leaving you to drown in his bombarding love. 

"I need you." His correction to his previous statement was a whisper against your lips. You brought up a hand and feathered it through his hair, blinking away tears for the second time today, his eyes struggling to settle on one of yours as his own grew faintly glossy. 

He pulled away from your face, dropping his hand to your thigh and caressing you gently. You wanted to blurt out those three words again, those words you knew he felt too, but you were afraid it would cause him to run away again.

"And I need you." You whispered back, bringing up a hand and tracing the bridge of his roman nose with your finger, his eyes fluttered shut and his hand left your thigh to circle your wrist, bringing your finger to his mouth as he pressed a kiss to your knuckle. 

He seemed to have snapped back into reality after a few minutes of massaging your feet in a comfortable silence, as he stood up abruptly after he kissed your thigh, taking both of your hands in his and helping you hop off of the bed, dropping to his knees yet again.

You stared down at him in bewilderment as he tapped your ankle and you lifted your foot, "Good girl." He praised, warmth pooling in your lower stomach as he chuckled darkly, slipping your heels back on individually and methodically, you clutched onto his shoulders for support, the crisp fabric of his suit was pressed beneath your palms.

"I have a few things for us to do tonight." He smiled with a breathy huff of amusement, expanding to his full height and towering over you. His thumb brushed your bottom lip, he leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. 

"I promise you'll have a wonderful time."


	21. Without You

Eyeing around the darkness consuming the nature beyond the neatly shined window, you felt a warm, calloused palm stroke your revealed thigh. You hummed in response, sealing your eyes shut and focusing on the rattle of the Porsche, your fingers softly tapping the windowsill in anticipation. 

He caressed your thigh with the rough pad of his thumb, sending thick waves of electricity through your veins. You averted your gaze to face him with a sharp inhale, your nostrils flaring as you exhaled out of your nose, admiring his softened features.

His hair was neatly combed, setting upon his shoulders with such elegancy, you forced a deep breath to recollect yourself. His beauty marks and moles scattered his face, constantly being cascaded by the yellow tinted headlights of bypassing cars. His fingers curled against the wheel and he glanced at you, smirking and releasing a hot huff of amusement, shifting in his seat. 

Wordlessly, you placed your hand on top of his, softly caressing his rigid knuckles as he continuously massaged your thigh tenderly. Your gaze fixated upon the windshield, eyes scanning the signs flying by in quick spurts. You noticed something. You were heading out of town. Towards the city.

"Where are we going?" You chirped curiously, flashing him a giddy smile.

"Out of town," He exclaimed pointedly, nodding towards another sign, "We can't risk being seen in public together." 

You nodded in understanding, brushing his knuckles with your fingers gingerly. He glanced at you, flipping his hand over and lacing his fingers with yours, palms flush, knuckles now pressed into your thigh.

You drove for about forty minutes through the darkness. There was an excessive amount of ominous, lush pine trees engulfing the entirety of land surrounding the interstate. It continued like this for awhile until he merged through three lanes of traffic carelessly, earning him a honk and muffled shout as he swiftly took the nearest exit. 

The tree line quickly vanished, reincarnating into a lively, downtown plaza, surrounding the outskirts of the city. The towering buildings were a distance away, swarmed with a foggy haze of pollution. 

The streets were crowded full of pedestrians, hopping from bar to bar, stumbling along the sidewalks. The roads weren't any denser— it was packed to the brim with cars. You have been sitting in the same spot for minutes. 

"It's a Thursday night," Kylo sighed, aggressively rubbing his forehead and throwing his hand out, "Why are there so many people?"

It was obvious he was trying to keep himself in order, barricading his vexation from bursting through. He flashed you a forced pursed lip smile, one of his feet tapping the floor and slightly shaking the car. 

It took nearly twenty minutes to get through the traffic, the second you were free of the restraint the other cars had caused he floored it, speeding only a mile down the street until you approached an extremely upscale, boujee restaurant. You could hardly make out the name, it was written in thin cursive, amber lights illuminating the premicise. 

He hopped out of his side, rounding the car, pulling the door open for you. One hand held the door open, the other offered you a hand. You smiled, slipping your hand in his as you shimmied out of the seat, nearly tripping over your own heels as you stood up.

He slammed the car door shut, his hand escaped your grasp and slithered around your waist, pulling you protectively into his side, his hand resting on your lower stomach. 

Another chauffeur held the doors to the restaurant open for you. Kylo nodded to him as you entered the dimly lit building, dishes clanking and chatter erupting from each corner. A women awaited at a podium near the door, flashing you both a grin. 

"Reservation for Ren." He grumbled as you approached the stand, she nodded, clicking her tongue to herself as she scanned her tablet. Her face lifted up and she nodded, gathering two menus, "Right this way, please." 

His arm tightened around your waist for reasons unbeknownst to you as you followed her, she lead you to a private dining area on a balcony, allowing you a breathtaking view of the city ahead, the glimmer of lights radiating a warmth on you. 

He slid your chair out for you, pushing you in securely to the table with ease as the women sat down your menus. He sat in the seat directly across from you, your knees brushing together. 

"Your server will be with you shortly," She exclaimed, turning on her heel and leaving the two of you in privacy, the moonlight mixing with the distant flicker of city ruckus. You hummed contently, turning towards Kylo. He had been watching you the whole time, his face unmoving except for the tiny pull at the corner of his lips when you caught him staring. 

The evening breeze wisped his hair into his face, his black eyelashes fluttering as he kept his hazel speckled gaze strictly upon you. A comfortable silence fell between you, simply enjoying each other's presence, because regardless of the problems you've been through together— this felt right. Like destiny. 

You averted your gaze back to the city, tucking a strand piece of hair behind you ear. In your peripherals, you caught a glimpse of him shaking his head, letting out an apparent exhale. As you glanced back at him, his breath caught in his throat, almost as if he was startled.

"How did I get so lucky?" His voice was nearly a whisper, his eyebrows furrowed in disbelief. You blinked at him in bewilderment. He reached his hands across the table and took yours in his, eyes darting between yours. 

"Look at you. The most beautiful woman i've ever seen, is mine." He shook his head again, scoffing at his own words, like he was genuinely surprised. 

You felt your cheeks heat up, a blazing forefront of red lingering on your skin as you chuckled nervously, squeezing his hands reassuringly.

"Even after everything i've done..." He breathed in disappointment with himself, averting his gaze to the city as his jaw clenched, still slightly shaking his head.

"I forgive you. Because I..." You swallowed thickly, "Because I don't know how to be without you." It felt as if a boulder had been lifted from your chest, halting its burdening crushing against your soul as you breathed the words, forcing yourself not to cry. 

He nodded curtly, his face was a silent agreement. He understood, he accepted you. He was accepting your feelings, processing them. Consuming them as if they were his own, because deep down, even if he firstly refused to believe it, those were his own feelings. 

"I learned that as well," He sucked in a shaky breath and squeezed your hands tighter, "After those days without you I understood. Just like I promised I would try to." He smiled sadly, shaking your hands in his. 

That night when he left came back in a ferocious cloud of memories, his last words as he walked out of your home with such despair were palpable. 

I will try to understand.

And he did. 

Your heart was melting into a puddle of endearment in your chest, battering and sputtering through your ribcage until it reformed again. Your skin crawled with adoration, you physically felt as if you would combust, burst into unstoppable flames. 

"I love you." You both spoke in unison, his face twitching into shock. Just like that, he tugged you forward by your hands and your lips came crashing. Plump, warm, delicious lips working along yours with desire, his thick tongue dragging along your bottom lip and suckling it as you whimpered, leaning forward and pressing further into his mouth.

A tear of joy had fallen from your sealed eyes, dripping between your mouths and creating a salty taste as he deepened the kiss for only a second more, before the sound of the glass patio doors pushing open caught both of your attention and you pulled away from each other.

You breathlessly leaned back in your seat, adjusting yourself and feathering a hand through your hair. You licked any residue of surely smudged lipstick from around your lips. 

The server approached with light steps, a tablet in his hand. He had short, slicked back blonde hair and silver glasses that framed his pale face, shoving them up the bridge of his nose as he smiled at you, and then to Kylo. His smiled died when he received the look he was flashing him back.

He was giving him the deadliest glare you have ever seen. You stifled a laugh, chewing your bottom lip as you lightly kicked him with the point of your heel and he winced, jolting and exchanging a glance with you before clearing his throat. He adjusted his tie and shifted in his seat, wiping the scowl off of his face. 

"Good evening, Madame, Monsier." He carried a thick, fluent french accent and your eyes widened in surprise as he nodded to both of you individually. 

"May I interest you in our red wine?" He asked.

You glanced at Kylo, he narrowed his eyes at you and shook his head no firmly, warning you before he averted his gaze to the server.

"No thank you," He said. "We need a little more time to look at the menu." 

The server nodded curtly, bowing, and spun on his heel, entering the building and quietly sealing the door shut behind him.

He sighed, raising his eyebrows at you as you pouted. Jutting out your bottom lip and making the puppy dog eyes. 

"You're too young for wine," He taunted, fumbling with his menu and picking it up, examining it with concentration. You admired him as he pursed his lips and scanned it. He glanced up at you and caught you staring, smirking and nodding towards your menu.

"Stop looking at me and pick something to eat." He teased.

You chuckled with a false sigh, scooping up the menu. "Stop looking so sexy and maybe I will." You mused, giggling as his cheeks turned a light shade of pink and he avoided looking back up at you, failing to bite back a smile. 

After studying the menu, you chose spaghetti, because you had the appetite of a child. Chicken nuggets, spaghetti or cheeseburgers were your go to's at restaurants. 

The server came back, stopping a few feet away. "Are you ready to order?" 

Kylo exchanged a glance with you and you nodded, "Yes." He said, stating his overly fancy order to the server who nodded and typed it in his tablet, averting his gaze to you.

You swallowed nervously, "Umm, just spaghetti for me, please." You breathed, you were horrible at ordering, it always made you anxious. You awkwardly handed him your menu and he collected each of yours with a small smile.

"I'll have that out for you soon." He exclaimed, pushing the patio door open and leaving you alone again. 

You heard that deep, throaty chuckle and you cocked a brow, watching as Kylo rested his elbow on the clothed table and clutched his mouth, struggling to contain his laughing. The sight was warming to your already blazing heart. 

"What's so funny?" You giggled, taking a sip of ice water the server had brought.

He laughed even harder, the sound rattling from the depths of his chest, clawing at his lips, "I could've ordered for you if I would've known you were going to have a panic attack." He snorted, his laughter died in his throat when you glared at him playfully.

"Next time you can." You said with a chuckle.

You ate your dinner in peace once it arrived, occasionally conversing with each other as you stuffed your face with your overpriced pasta, when things got nearly silent between you. 

That is until his hand leisurely left the tablecloth and creeped under the table.

You felt a hand clasp your thigh and you squeaked, glancing at Kylo and swallowing your bite of food harshly when you caught him staring at you.

He snaked his hand up and up slowly, massaging the skin with his large hands and your leg twitched when you felt his hand slither past the hem of your dress. You hesitantly brought another bite of food to your mouth, his face was menacingly eyeing yours as his other hand fed himself as if nothing was happening.

"What are y-"

You cut yourself off with a surprised squeak as his finger brushed your clothed cunt, nearly choking on your food. You coughed, shuddering as you swallowed your food forcefully and felt his fingertip tease you beneath the table. You slowly felt yourself growing wet.

"So wet for me already." He teased, a sinister smirk tugging at his lips as he began rubbing your clit. You instinctively pressed your thighs together with a whimper, trapping his hand between yours legs as a nearly incoherent whimper fled your lips. Your eyebrows knitted together in pleasure as he growled under his breath and massaged harder, your legs trembling from the pleasure building.

You heard the patio door squeak open and you snapped your eyes in that direction in relief, hoping he would remove his hand but he didn't. Instead, the closer the server approached, the faster and more thoroughly he pinched and rubbed your clit. 

You bit your lip, a soft moan slightly passing through. The server paid no mind to your contorted face or the way Kylo's arm was angled peculiarly beneath the table as he sat down the check.

You felt your wetness seeping through your panties and coating his finger and he stifled a growl, nodding to the server who flashed you a bewildered, concerned look. 

"Are you alright, ma'am? You're a little pale." He asked with worry lacing his voice, eyebrows furrowing. You nodded frantically, your under eye twitching as Kylo pushed your panties to the side. He massaged your clit again, the skin on skin contact made your cunt clench around the air and you moaned. 

"I-I'm fine, thank you." You stuttered, chewing your bottom lip. The servers face contorted into sheer horror as he slowly backed away with a cautious nod, speed walking off of the balcony when realization hit him. 

"Kylo," Your warning turned into a moan once the door clicked shut, he hummed appreciatively as his thumb switched places with his fingers and he rubbed impatient circles into you, his fingers trailing down to your soaking entrance.

"Do you wanna cum around my fingers?" He watched you attentively, his lip twitching as you nodded frantically, pressing your cunt into him eagerly.

"Use your words, baby." He cooed slowly, prodding your entrance with his fingers, slipping his fingertip in and out and you groaned impatiently, pushing down further on him.

"Please, please daddy, let me cum around your fingers." You whined breathlessly, and at that, he slowly eased two fingers into you and you cried out, instantly clenching around him as his calloused thumb massaged your clit in neat circles, your legs shaking. 

"There's my good little girl." He praised under his breath, lips parting in awe as your eyelids fluttered shut and you gripped the edge of the table tightly, your knuckles turning white. 

"You don't care if people see you like this do you?" He stated, you whimpered and shook your head no, he chuckled and thrusted his fingers into you faster and you squeaked, "My little slut will cum for me anywhere won't she?"

"Yes, daddy." You moaned breathlessly as you lifted your ass from the seat slightly and began rolling your hips into his fingers. He growled, scissoring his fingers inside of you and plucking your sweet spot. The table cloth crinkled beneath your grip, small whines and whimpers fleeing your lips with every thrust of his fingers and roll of your hips. 

Stars consumed your black vision as you squeezed your eyes together tighter, your nose scrunching up and eyebrows knitted, lips parted and head tilted back as you grind into his hand faster. He curled his fingers inside of your then and thumbed your clit harder and you moaned lewdly, nearly yanking the table cloth off of the table while you felt your climax approaching. 

"Look at me," He rasped, the sticky sound of his fingers pounding into your pussy was loud, your eyes flew open and you were met with his animalistic gaze, his teeth barred together as your body jolted with each rough thrust of his fingers. Your toes curled, you released a wanton moan as you were trapped in his gaze. 

"Good girl," He curled his fingers continuously and you were teetering at the edge.

"Daddy, may I p-please cum?" You squeaked. "Fuck!" You screamed with bliss as his fingers hit your cervix. 

He nodded slowly, his raven locks falling in his face as he thrusted his fingers into you with determination, "Yes, cum baby, cum." He growled and you clenched around him, your entire body spasming and legs shaking violently as you came, your head falling back and your movements becoming lazy against his fingers as he rode you through your climax. 

He slowed his thrusts and you struggled to catch your breath, your body continuously trembling as he removed his fingers from your cunt with a wet plop. He smiled innocently at you, batting his eyelashes as the door opened yet again and he brought his fingers to his mouth, sucking them clean as the server hesitantly stepped outside. 

Kylo's smug face fell. Revealing a stoic and blank expression as he removed his credit card from his wallet, placing it down on top of the bill. The server silently collected it and headed back out. You were still recovering from your climax, the cool breeze of the night wind was relaxing to your buzzing skin, your chest heaving with every breath. 

"I could've," You sucked in a harsh breath, "Paid for that." You exhaled, your legs were still shaking from the overwhelming amount of ecstasy, still trapped in a euphoric haze. 

He shook his head no and scoffed, "It's my job to take care of you baby. You know this." He explained pointedly and you nodded sheepishly as he smoothed out his suit and pushed out of his chair. 

Your skin was crawling with satisfaction, redness blistering at your skin as he offered you a hand and helped you out of your seat. He chuckled as you stumbled, your legs felt like jello beneath you, trembling. Your heels hardly helped the situation at hand. 

He suddenly crouched down, eyes level with your lower stomach and one hand gripping your hip. Your cheeks tingled and grew red with embarrassment as you watched your cum leak down your exposed thighs. He smiled up at you, bringing his face into contact with your thighs and licking them clean, your skin tingling from the warmth of his tongue. 

"All clean." He mumbled into your skin, pressing a kiss and standing back up to his full height, towering over you. Your breath hitched in your throat, his hazel eyes softened and darted around your face, taking in the bliss lingering on your skin.

He cupped your cheek with the hand that wasn't on your hip, the pad of his thumb stroking your cheekbone as you nuzzled into his palm with a shy smile. He bent down and kissed you, his plump lips creating comfort within you, working along yours with endearment. He nibbled on your bottom lip before pulling away, snagging your lip with him as he chuckled.

"You're so beautiful."

After that fiasco, you walked hand in hand towards the door to enter the building. Your steps were wobbly, your legs still felt like cooked noodles and you groaned, pouting at the uncomfortableness of it. Your legs shook with each stomp you took. 

The server met you by the door, returning his card back to him and bidding his 'good evenings' to the both of you. Kylo had to place a hand on your hip a few times to steady your walk, chuckling under his breath every time. 

He opened the car door for you and you hopped inside. He slammed the door shut and circled the car, getting in on his own side as you kicked off your heels with a content sigh and propped them up on the dash, the air conditioning kicking on as he started the car and cooled your feet. You wiggled your toes and he watched as you leaned back.

"Don't get too comfortable," He explained, zooming out of the parking lot, "We aren't done yet."


	22. Our Star

"Kylooo." You whined, batting your eyelashes against the silk material of his tie. He insisted on blindfolding you as he drove you to your next location. 

"Hm?" You could hear the scuffle of his crisp suit as he turned to face you. Although your vision was sleek and black, you could vividly picture a wry smirk plastered on his face. 

"Are we there yet?" You groaned dramatically.

He chuckled softly, you held back a surprised squeak as his hand slid up your thigh, your waist, up your shoulders and until he found the back of your neck. He massaged the stiffness you hadn't realized was there with tenderness, a soft sigh escaping your lips as he eased the tension. 

"Almost, baby." His voice was dripping in solace, content, like your nagging wasn't in the least bit irritating him. You could get used to this side of him. The soft, tranquil version, calm and collected. 

The nearer you grew to your appending destination, you began to feel nervous. The butterflies fluttered around in circles in your stomach, you assumed it was just the notion of being incapable of interpreting where you were being taken. 

"You're nervous," He pointed out, massaging your neck harder, "Don't be. It's alright. I wouldn't take you anywhere dangerous."

You nodded, fiddling with your fingers in your lap, sucking in deep breaths. That was one of the benefits of having anxiety. Regardless of whom you trust, you catch yourself freaking out or growing paranoid over every possible incident that could occur. 

The car eventually began to slow, the tires whooshing against the pavement was noticeable considering your lack of eye usage. The car came to an abrupt, sharp halt, the sound of the engine shutting down flooded your ears. Then a car door opening, shutting. 

Then your car door opened, revealing the harsh, humid air of an inconclusive summer, blowing your hair around your face and tickling your nose. You giggled, just as you felt two large hands clasp yours tightly and cautiously guide you out of your seat. You heard the door slam shut behind you, and then felt one of his hands leave your hand and wrap around your waist.

The first obtainable thing about where you were was the peaceful silence. All you could hear was the wisp of the breeze and the faint sounds of city buzz. 

You stumbled a few times in your heels, and after your fifth time nearly wiping out, Kylo sighed and scooped you up in his arms. One hand on the back of your knees, the other wrapped around your back. He clutched you tightly to his chest and you chuckled, wrapping your hands around his neck as you bounced with every step he took. 

You felt the ground go unleveled beneath him, his steps were rigid. "Where are-" 

Before you could finish your sentence, a stick flung right into your face and you winced, removing a hand from his neck to clutch your cheek. He stopped forcefully in his tracks, nearly toppling over. 

"You okay?" He breathed. 

You nodded and he bent forward and pressed a kiss to your slightly scratched cheek, continuing his descent down a hill of some sort. You were definitely in nature. You wished you could appreciate the vegetation, the lush plants that were surely surrounding you.

He carried you like this for at least five minutes, until a new sound took place in your ears. Water. A gentle flow, colliding with rocks and flinging water droplets in your direction. 

He placed you down carefully on the ground, your bare thighs coming into sudden contact with tousled grass, tickling your legs. You subconsciously held your breath in anticipation as he threaded a hand through your hair and found the knot he tied behind your head with his tie. He leisurely removed it from your face.

You blinked a few times to regain your eye sight. Once the blurriness vanished, you were first greeted with Kylo, hovering above you and studying your reaction attentively. And then your eyes wandered, and your mouth fell agape in awe.

You were on a ledge; flooded with nature and vibrant colored flowers surrounding you, and directly ahead lied a perfect view of the cities entirety, the lights were gleaming down on you and you could feel the warmth of them on your skin. 

"It's..." You were at a loss for words, eyes darting between him and the ravishing scene before you, "Beautiful." You breathed, reaching for his hand and giving it an appreciative squeeze. 

His shoulders relaxed and he released a tense breath of relief, plopping down directly beside you, wrapping an arm around your waist and tugging you into his side as you sat in a comfortable silence, studying the city side by side. 

You ended up falling on your backs, being greeted with the vast darkness of the sky and the twinkling stars. His arm that was wrapped around your waist pulled you into his chest. You rested your head on his heart, the tranquil thudding drummed against your ear as you nuzzled into him and wrapped your arm around his torso, scooting closer into him. 

It felt as if your entangled bodies were submerging, melting into the ground beneath you. Even after the amount of time you've spent with him, you've never felt this connected, this trusting and vulnerable with him. Loving him was so much easier in moments like these. 

A star gleamed in the sky and Kylo removed his hand from your waist and pointed at it while his chin rested on the crown of your head. "That one reminds me of you." He mumbled into your hair, pressing a pliant kiss there. The star dulled back out, blending in with the rest of its sisters and brothers, settling into a faint flicker.

"It reminds me of us." You mumbled back with a soft chuckle. His hand fell back to your waist and pulled you closer as his other hand clasped your cheek. You lifted your head and rested your chin on his peck while he ran his thumb over your bottom lip, staring down at you in contentment, a permanent smile on his face. 

"It's our star then." He whispered as he pinched your chin and brought your face into his, pressing his lips into yours softly. He pushed his face into yours harder, deepening the kiss as you moaned in his mouth and instantly straddled his hips. Your hand slid up his chest and found the hair behind the nape of his neck, running your fingers through his locks as your tongue slipped past his teeth. 

Things escalated quickly, both of his hands trailed down your hips until they went behind you and palmed your ass, rolling the flesh between his hands as he nagged your bottom lip and pulled it away with a wet smack, his lips forcefully reconnecting with yours. Your nose swiped across his cheek, the taste of his warm tongue inside your mouth brought bliss through your veins.

You began to grind your hips into him and he groaned, you shuddered as you felt his growing bulge poke your inner thigh. He slapped your ass and growled into your lips as you jolted forward and grind into him harder. Your hand slithered down his chest until you found the hem of his button up shirt. You slipped your hand inside, twirling the happy trail of dark hair running down his abdomen in between your fingers as he kissed you with urgency, slapping your ass again.

"Suck my cock." He growled into your lips and you nodded, moaning as you scooted back and straddled his thighs, disconnecting your lips from his. You licked your lips and made eye contact with him as he guided your hands and you unclasped his belt, throwing it carelessly in the grass. You made dove eyes at him and batted your eyelashes while he sighed.

"Don't do that, little girl. You know what that pretty little face does to me." He warned, as he circled your wrist and placed your hand on top of his hardening cock, poking through his dress pants. 

"Sorry, daddy." You unzipped his pants, idly tugging down the top of his pants and boxers, gripping onto his shaft and yanking it out of his   
pants. You examined the way his under eye twitched while you thumbed the head of his cock, pinching slightly and revealing a drop of precum. He snatched your hand from his length and spat in your palm, forcing your hand back on his cock.

You fisted it slowly, tauntingly, he released a shaky breath while he propped himself up on his forearms. You increased your pace leisurely, admiring the way his face would twitch in pleasure and a barely coherent groan would escape his lips. 

You brought your free hand to his balls, massaging them in your palm and he hissed in pleasure, his head slightly falling back as his lips pursed shut. "That's right," He praised lowly, lightly bucking his hips into your hand, "Be a good girl and make me cum." 

You nodded and moaned yourself as you felt his massive cock throb in your hand, leaning forward and swirling your tongue around his tip, taking in the taste of his salty precum. He held back a moan, swallowing the sound and nearly choking on it. 

You hallowed out your cheeks and sucked on the head, the satisfied groan that escaped his parted lips was exhilarating and you took half of his cock in your mouth then with a muffled moan as you fisted the base, still groping his balls. He thrusted up into your mouth, meeting the bobs of your head halfway. One of his hands flew out and yanked your hair, fisting it into a ponytail as he began doing most of the work and pounding into your throat. Your hand fled from the base and held onto the ground for support.

Your jaw began to grow sore, you whimpered and pressed your thighs together for friction as he grunted and thrusted forcefully into your mouth, his balls making a clapping sound as your jaw went slack and you took all of him in your throat with determination, running your tongue along the underside.

"When we get to the hotel, i'm not going to stop fucking your tight little cunt until you forget your name." He gritted his teeth, his face was flushed as he occasionally held his breath. "Get off." He demanded breathlessly and you obliged. 

He sat up on his knees and pumped his own cock, directing you by your hair towards his pulsing dick. "Ffuck, suck my tip." He grunted, "NOW." He barked and you instantly latched your lips onto the head of his cock and swirled your tongues around as he seethed and pumped his cock faster. You felt his dick throb and he released a shaky breath as he came into your mouth, groaning while hot jets of his cum hit the back of your throat. 

He pinched your jaw harshly with his free hand as he slowly decreased his pace around his cock. He pulled the head of his dick out of your mouth, "Open." He demanded, and you stuck your tongue out, revealing the sticky cum gathered there. He spat into your mouth and you flinched, he pinched your jaw back shut. "Swallow." And you did. You consumed the salty and wet mixture of his spit and cum contently. 

He tucked himself away as you breathlessly wiped any remnants of his seed off of your face with your forearm, when there was a crackle coming from the trees you had entered through. You snapped your head up and squinted your eyes, unable to make out anything through the darkness. 

He paid no mind to it until he saw your worried face and he stood up forcefully, adjusting his blazer and scanning the area briefly, just when a person stepped into the light and Kylo stumbled backwards, throwing his hand out in front of your chest protectively as you still sat on your knees. Before you could make out the person he stepped in front of you entirely, barricading you from them.

"I knew you would-" The female voice cut off, you could hear the shuffle of grass and your eyes bulged out of your head when you recognized that voice. His wife. 

"What the hell is going on here?" She barked, and before he could block you any further she came winding around him, her face contorted into disbelief and horror as she stared down at you with her hands on her hips.

Unsure of how to react considering your heart was threatening to burst out of your chest, you smiled nervously with an awkward wave and she scoffed. 

"You slutty bitch!" She spat, moving to take a step closer but Kylo was one step ahead. He placed his hands on her arms and lightly shoved her away from you.

"Hey! Watch the way you speak to her." He growled, taking a step closer and causing her to stumble backwards. "We aren't doing this right now. Go home." He pointed at her aggressively, drawing out his words dramatically.

"We are still married!" Her voice cracked and her eyes were bloodshot as she forcefully shoved him backwards and he nearly stumbled over you; who was just sitting there uncomfortably, eyes darting between the two of them. 

"This is your student! Isn't it?" She shook her head in disbelief. He didn't respond. "Isn't it?" She demanded this time, peeking at you from over his bulky shoulder as he gripped her arms again. 

"I said. We aren't. Doing. This. Now." He spoke through gritted teeth, his fist clenching around the sleeve of her sweater. You cautiously stood up, wobbling a bit in your heels. Guilt and anxiety was clashing together and numbing your entire body, your hands trembling. 

"I'm your wife-"

"You are nothing to me!" He screamed abruptly, his voice was poisonous, filled with malice as he snarled at her in distaste. That struck a nerve with her. A tear slid down her cheek and you hesitated before you tenderly clasped onto his shoulder and he tilted his head to make eye contact with you.

"I think that's enough. Let's go." You whispered meekly, he nodded curtly and pursed his lips, letting go of her arms and taking a step backwards. 

"The divorce papers will be finalized by the end of the week. I'll see you then." His voice was dripping in vexation, and half of you wondered how this was the same man from only moments ago. His actions and attitude towards her were vile and spiteful. You felt horrible for her. His words weren't directed towards you in any way and they still managed to take a heavy blow to your heart. 

He took your hand in his, interlocking your fingers and leading you away from her. Leaving her in the middle of the once lovely scenery to sob and reminisce on whatever moments she had shared with him before, and according to her words when she first found you, the memories they shared here. 

You flashed her an apologetic look from over your shoulder, blinking away the tears that were beginning to pool within your own eyes as he guided you back towards his car. 

He was radiating infuriation, his exasperation was palpable, but he remained silent even as you approached his vehicle. He wordlessly held your door open for you, avoiding eye contact and clenching his jaw aggressively as he slammed the door shut and rounded it to his side.

You knew better than to comment on what had just occurred, so you awkwardly stared out the window as he started the engine and backed out carelessly, speeding away with fury vivid in his form of driving. You tapped your foot nervously against the floor, playing with your hands in your lap. For nearly half of the car ride there was just an air constricting amount of silence. Anytime you opened your mouth to speak you felt as if you were suffocating. 

Your hands were clammy and you were toying with the hem of your dress when his hand snaked across the console and held onto your hand gingerly. You tensed at first and wearily met his gaze as he stared at you with a stoic impression before he softened his features and brought your hand to his lips, placing a tender kiss there and releasing your hand and averting his gaze back to the road. That small action felt like a form of reassurance, and you greedily took any that you could fathom. 

He sped his way to the hotel, the tension he was feeling was still overwhelmingly tangible. He parked the car abruptly and slammed his door shut, circling it until he got to your side and held the door for you. He closed your door and before you could move he pinned you to his vehicle with his entire body, his finger trailing down your jaw.

"I need to ease the tension i'm feeling." He rasped desperately, pressing a wet kiss to your lips. He pulled away and his lips met yours again constantly, latching and detaching with sticky plopping sounds as you groaned into his mouth and dangled your forearms over his shoulders, just as his hands massaged your ass. 

He hoisted you up in his arms and you squeaked against his lips, your legs wrapping around his torso and your lips never leaving each other's as his hands explored your backside and he walked towards the entrance of the hotel. 

You paid zero attention to the judgmental glances you received from the hotels employees, one of yours hands running through his hair as you moaned breathlessly against his mouth, tongues entwining just as you reached the elevator.

He stepped inside and removed one hand from your body to punch the buttons multiple times aggressively without opening his eyes or unlatching his lips from yours. The elevator chimed and dinged as the doors slid shut and he slammed you back first into the wall, detaching his lips from yours and finding your neck.

"I'm going to destroy you tonight," He growled into your collarbone, biting down and you whimpered. He licked and kissed the spot sweetly and repeated this process with the entire expanse of your neck as you bucked your hips into him once. "God, little girl, you're so perfect." He was in a trance, praising you lowly against your neck as he suckled with determination. 

The door dinged open and his lips smashed into yours again, his grip on your ass tightening as he massaged the skin and removed you from the wall, marching out of the elevator and rushing towards your hotel room. You bit his bottom lip and he groaned, deepening the kiss as he shoved the door open and kicked it shut behind him. 

You whimpered into his lips, your panties were growing wet by the second as he rushed over to the bed and slammed you into the mattress, kissing your neck with urgency as he tugged at the hem of your dress. You arched your back off of the bed and he hummed in approval, reaching behind you and unzipping your dress, sucking on your collarbone as he pulled the dress down to your ankles and chucked it carelessly across the room. 

He ran his lips down your entire body, palming one of your breasts as he licked in between the valley, his other hand reached behind you and unclasped your bra, throwing it to the side. He brought one of your nipples into his mouth and you moaned, he groaned in satisfaction and teased your nipple with his tongue. 

His lips left your breast and he pressed fervent kisses down your belly, until his lips found your underwear. He kissed your mound through your panties, his finger hooking into them and tugging them down as his lips moved down with them. He buried his face into your cunt and you bucked your hips into his face as he kissed your soaked entrance. 

You moaned as he thrusted his tongue inside of you, he grunted, sending vibrations through your pussy while he aggressively brought up his hand and shoved your panties into your mouth. He shushed into your inner thighs, pressing sloppy and hot kisses before he averted his mouth back to your pussy and you clenched while he made eye contact. 

"This pussy is mine," He breathed, licking a fat line up your sex and you whimpered as his aqualine nose brushed your clit. "And it's the only cunt i'll ever fucking want." He growled and suckled your clit between his lips and your lewd moan was muffled against your panties as his hands gripped your hips and pinned you to the bed. 

Pleasure was instantly overtaking your senses as he licked and sucked your clit, your legs shaking and you whimpered as he detached his lips from your cunt and licked his lips clean, tugging you up forcefully. His hand engulfed your entire throat, "Taste your needy cunt," He demanded and shoved his lips into your again. 

He was a mixture of urgent and precise with every touch he laid upon you. His lips abandoned yours with a wet plop and thumped the pendant of your choker. He stood up from the bed abruptly and tugged you up with him, taking a few steps back and examining you with a hand on his hip.

"Twirl for me." He grumbled, spinning his finger and you giggled as you slowly spin for him. You were entirely naked, disregarding your heels and choker clasping around your neck.

"Fuck." He groaned, "You are the sexiest woman I have ever seen. And you are mine." He growled possessively and pounced on you just as quickly as he had walked away. His hand cupped your neck as he ran his thumb along his initials on your choker, tugging off his belt and spinning you around. 

He grabbed your wrists and forced them together, you seethed, you could feel him brushing your skin with the pads of his fingers as he bundled your wrists and clasped together with his belt, the leather squeezing tightly. 

"Are they tight enough?" He asked, you could hear him unzipping himself.

"Yes, daddy." You whimpered, your voice muffled through your panties as he tightened them anyways, your wrists pinned together and already scorching from the pain. 

He gripped you by your hair, his other hand on your hip as he pushed you forward, all the way until your front smashed into the window. You squirmed in his hold, you couldn't deny the excitement the possibility of being seen brought you, but you were afraid.

"Kylo-" He spanked you with his flat palm and you moaned while he massaged the skin. "Daddy," You corrected and he grunted in appreciation. "There are people out-" His finger had found your sex from behind, barely brushing your pussy lips as you clenched around the air and whimpered.

"Mmm. Good. They can all see the way you submit to me." He growled into your ear from the side, his breath was warm and sent goosebumps crawling up your spine. His hardened, red cock poked your sex and you moaned, pushing down on him. "Because you're daddy's little girl aren't you baby?" 

You nodded frantically, pushing down onto his throbbing cock and shuddering as he gripped your hip and began prodding your entrance with the tip of his cock, slow and tauntingly. "I'm your little girl, always." You rasped into the lace fabric of your panties and he chuckled softly. 

"Always." He repeated sternly, before he yanked your hair back painfully and you yelped, your chin pointed towards the ceiling as your wrists shimmied in their restraints. "Now beg for this cock." 

You felt your wetness dripping down your thighs, coating his dick and you whimpered, the glass of the window was chilling to your buzzing body. "Please, daddy, please fuck me." You whined, and he groaned as he teased himself by leisurely easing himself into you, feeling your walls expand for him and clench. 

You released an animalistic sound as he instantly began pounding into you, vandalizing your entire existence with the force of his thrusts as one hand massaged your hipbone and the other released your hair and squeezed your throat, your pulse thudding against the pad of his calloused palm as he pinched the side of your neck with his fingers. 

You clenched around him, hyperfixated on the sound of your slickness coating his cock, creating a sticky slapping sound that echoed through the hotel room. Your lips parted and your body rocked with his movements, your breath immediately fogged up the window as your breath hitched with every inhale and exhale. 

"You're so tight." He breathed, you could hear him holding his breath and grunting as he pounded into you recklessly, sweat aligning your skin as he fucked you into an oblivion, his cock making forceful contact with your cervix and causing your climax to build. 

He must've felt the way you clenched around him with every thrust because his hand left your hip and instantly found your clit, rubbing delicious circles that caused you to release a wanton moan and your legs to shake, threatening to give out beneath you as your head fell back in pure ecstasy and your eyebrows crinkled in pleasure. 

"Oo- Shit." He moaned under his breath, "Cum on my cock. Cum." He demanded, rubbing you harder until that sweet sensation washed over you and you convulsed on his cock. You hiccuped, he pounded into you even faster and you moaned lewdly with every thrust as you milked his dick, tits bouncing against the window with his thrusts. 

His fingers left your clit, snaking up your body as he fucked you continuously with his pulsing cock, twitching inside of you. He shoved his fingers into your mouth and you sucked them with determination, licking his calloused fingertips as your pussy grew sensitive. 

He growled through clenched teeth and let out a heavy gust of air, "Fffuck, I love you. And I love this little fucking cunt," He bellowed through a deep, throaty moan, pumping his hot seed inside of you as he bit down on your shoulder to muffle his pleasured sounds, kissing the spot he inflicted the pain on as he slowed his thrusts inside of you, both of you breathless. 

Before you could recollect yourself or recover from your climax fully, he pulled out of you and hoisted you in his arms yet again. You squeaked as he slammed you back first on top of your bundled hands and into the mattress, rapidly dropping to his knees and gripping your thighs, hoisting them over his shoulders. 

His hot breath sent waves of need to your overstimulated clit, your cum leaked down your inner thighs. He licked it all up slowly, massaging your outer thighs tenderly as he sealed his eyes shut and enjoyed himself, going to town on your sore pussy.

He teased your pussy lips with his wet tongue, gathering all of your cum around your entrance and thrusting his tongue inside and you moaned, biting your lip hard enough to draw blood as you squeezed his head with your thighs. He worked at you for awhile, taking his sweet old time and drowning himself in your slickness in silence except for his own groans in between your legs.

"You taste so good, baby." He praised, groaning in satisfaction as he pressed slow, wet kisses to your pussy and you tremble, your clit screaming for attention. 

"P-please," You whined, writhing and your toes curling as he endorsed on your inexplicit plea and sealed his lips around your clit with determination, satisfaction at the feeling of your clit in his mouth as he rolled it around with his tongue and licked aggressively. You felt your second climax approaching. 

He dragged his tongue back down to your entrance and gathered your slickness, lapping it up on his tongue and bringing it back to your clit, sucking as if his life depended on it and you let out an untamed cry.

"May I cum, please?" Your voice shook as you spoke, he nodded and hummed in approval into your pussy. He was too raveled in his own world to release his mouth from your clit to speak, bringing up his thumb and prodding your entrance and you shivered, cumming all over his face and thumb as you squeaked and whimpered with incoherent, erotic sounds.

The next few hours were spent fucking the absolute shit out of each other. You came more than you could count, your vision had been overtaken by stars as you laid there breathlessly, your entire body was trembling and your core was on fire. 

"Bath or shower?" Kylo breathed, sitting up slowly and scratching the back of his sweat matted hair. He had been stripped of his clothes entirely as well, and you kicked off your heels earlier and were left in just your collar. You traced your finger up and down his glistening back, the muscles flexing beneath your touch. 

He hummed at you when you failed to respond. You were trapped in a flurry of euphoria, you couldn't focus or obtain a word he had said. "Neither, please." Your words were mumbled and incoherent as you writhed, your limbs felt heavy and exhausted. "Sleepy. Now." Your tone was unintelligible and hushed. 

He sighed defeatedly, leaning to the side and pressing a kiss on your stomach, "Whatever you want, baby." He cooed into your skin and pressed one final kiss before he stretched and plopped down on his back, tugging you into his chest. Your bodies stuck together from sweat, your hearts drumming roughly against one another's as you straddled time and rested your body on top of him, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck.

His arm engulfed your waist as the other tugged the sheets over you both. He pressed a swift kiss to your temple and leaned over to turn of the lamp before the room was consumed by darkness and he buried his face into your scalp, stroking your hair with his free hand. 

"Goodnight," You whispered, pecking his chest and pushing yourself further into him. The thought of removing yourself from this position felt infeasible. You have never been more comfortable, anywhere, ever, other than his bulky arms.

He slowly began to sway you from side to side, "Goodnight, baby." He whispered back and pressed another kiss to your scalp this time, and you allowed the slowing rhythm of his heartbeat and his gentle cradles to lull you to sleep. Everything felt complete again.


	23. A deadly Warning

Rising out of a deep, solace slumber, you writhe and groaned beneath the sheets as your body trembled. You felt weak and limp, every movement brought a twinge of pain somewhere in your now frail frame. 

Nuzzling your face further into the warm pillow, you're greeted with the musky and pine scent of Kylo. Your eyes flew open, you rolled over on your back and patted the opposite side of the bed, only for your hand to come into contact with the cold surface of wrinkled sheets. 

Your eyebrows furrowed in bewilderment as you stared at the blankness consuming the bed for a moment, before you sat up with a satisfying yawn and stretch. You glanced around the ravishing room, taking in the interior as you struggled to wake yourself up.

You averted your gaze to the bedside table and gasped when you caught the digital clocks time. It was 11:54am, and today was a Friday. You're missing school. You groaned obnoxiously and tumbled back in the sheets, rolling onto your stomach and propping yourself up on your forearms as you noticed a piece of paper on the nightstand. 

You picked it up, eyeing the words with a tired smile on your lips.

You looked so peaceful while you slept, I couldn't bring myself to wake you. I took care of everything, you're called off of school for today. 

Use the telephone and call the lobby, I had them make you breakfast and they will bring it up to you. 

I will be back at 4. Get some rest.

-Kylo. 

You held the crisp piece of paper to your heart, smiling as it tickled your bare chest before you placed it back down on the nightstand and wrapped yourself up in the silky sheets. You held onto the edge of the bed for support as you wobbly stood, your leg twitched as it struggled to maintain supporting your body weight. 

You stumbled over to a leather couch that faced the floor to ceiling windows, offering you a wonderful view of the city, the sky was a brilliant blue and the clouds rolled by swiftly, keeping up with the chaotic buzz of midday life. 

You glanced at the coffee table in front of you, propping up your feet and tugging the sheet closer to your naked frame as you lifted up the telephone and dialed the lobby. The number was provided on a pad of paper. It rung a few times before a woman answered.

"Good morning, ma'am. Your breakfast is on it's way." 

You tilted your head back in surprise, impressed. "Okay, thank you!" 

You hung up without another word and placed the phone back where it belonged. You assumed they could track which room number the call was coming from. This was an extremely upscale, extravagant place after all. 

Only a few minutes later, your peaceful moment of eyeing the cities expanse was interrupted by a knock at the door. Before you could stand up, the door was pushed open, a man in an all-white, neatly pressed suit wheeled in a cart full of concealed trays, banishing you from knowing what you were being served. 

"Enjoy your meal." He nodded curtly and left the cart in the center of the room, turning on his heel and lightly sealing the door shut behind him without waiting for your response. 

You stared at the blankness for a moment before using the couches arm for support and standing up. You had a noticeable limp, you grunted a few times as you wobbled over to the cart and wheeled it back over to the couch. 

You sat back down, the cart directly in front of you, and lifted one of the trays. You were greeted with the savory scent of an avocado omelet and turkey bacon. You lifted the second tray and audibly gasped. Fancy dark chocolate covered strawberries and banana bread. 

You nibbled on a few strawberries and hummed in appreciation of the sweet flavor, before you moved on to the omelet. You ate about half of it, a slice of bacon and a few bites of the banana bread until you were completely stuffed. 

You rubbed your full stomach and relaxed against the couch, your skin soaking in the heat of the sun rays beaming through the windows. You were already quite bored just sitting around, but you knew that you needed this time to recover after last night. 

After a bit, the same properly dressed man strolled back into the room and wheeled the cart away, bidding you a brief and insincere farewell before he left, and you were left to decipher on how you would spend the remainder of your day. You only had a few hours until Kylo would be finished with school. 

You pondered on the couch, cradling your knees to your chest and peering out the window when you decided upon taking a hot shower. You carried yourself to the bathroom, which took extreme effort, and you dropped the sheet to the tile flooring as your body was introduced to the cool air. 

The shower had charcoal tiles lining the walls, a modern feel to the architecture of the bathroom in general, and the faucet was square and hung in the center of the large stand up shower. You turned the handle to start the water and the pipes silently hissed, thick rain droplets of water pouring out of the head and splatter around your bare feet. 

It took no time for the water to heat up, you slipped under the water and your lips parted in satisfaction when the hot water eased the tension in your shoulders, slipping down your back and burying itself into your skin. You ran your fingers through your hair, allowing the water to drench it before you used the hotel soaps in your scalp thoroughly.

You whimpered as you set your attention to your body, massaging the soap onto your thighs with an idle sting. You wished Kylo could be here to help, but you knew better than to be greedy or expectant of him. He has done a lot of things for you in the past twenty-four hours and you certainly weren't ungrateful. 

You cleaned in between your legs thoroughly since you passed out last night before even considering bathing, rinsed yourself and turned the water off. You fumbled for a towel, using a fluffy white one and wrapping it around your body. You rung out your hair with your hands, water droplets splattering onto the ground as you did so.

You combed your fingers through your hair, drying off your body and peeling out of the bathroom, steam emitting from the door when you pushed it open and entered the bedroom. You searched frantically for your dress, incapable of finding it anywhere. 

You sighed, a mischievous smile tugging at your lips as you eyed his suitcase laying on the floor. You trudged over to it, your wet feet leaving watery prints across the tile floors as you crouched down and rummaged through his bag, untucking a plain black t-shirt.

You dropped your towel to the floor, disregarding the windows completely as you tugged his shirt over your damp frame. It was massive on you, the hem dangled to your mid thigh and the short sleeves were drooping to your elbows. The neckline was dangling off of your shoulder, revealing your collarbone. 

You managed to find the overnight bag you brought in the mess of clothing and other things that were thrown around carelessly last night, tugging on a pair of panties you had packed. You idly cleaned up the room, folding up all of your belongings and slipping them into your bag, placing the sheet back on the bed and putting your towel away. You glanced at the clock, it was around 1:30pm now. 

You laid back in bed now, laying on your stomach with one of your knees brought up near your arm. You rested your chin on the pillow and went on your phone, noticing you received a few texts from multiple people.

You firstly clicked on Poe's name. 

Poe D.   
Thursday, 10:01pm

Hey, how are you feeling?

Friday, 11:32am

Are you okay? You aren't here today?

You felt incredibly guilty reading the texts, frowning and punching in a reply urgently.

You:   
Friday, 1:33pm

I'm fine, thanks for checking in. I just felt a little sick, me and my friend ate way too much junk food last night haha.

You reread your lie a few times to assure yourself it was believable, and you eventually hit send, cursing silently at yourself. You hated being dishonest with him, he was the best friend you could ever ask for, and you repaid his endless amounts of sincerity by continuously lying to him. You will eventually tell him the truth, you just weren't ready for that yet. You needed to be sure things were stable first.

You then realized you had texts from Kylo.

Kylo:  
Friday, 12:13pm

Hey baby. I'm going to pick up a few things before I head back to the hotel tonight. Let me know if there is anything you need.

And then another text five minutes after.

Kylo:  
Friday, 12:18pm

Are you still asleep?

You giggled and typed a response, just as you heard a knock at the door. "Just a second!" You called out as you replied to his text;

You:  
Friday, 1:36pm

I'm awake!! There's nothing I need, thank you though. 

You sent the message quickly and jogged to the door as swiftly as your sore legs could allow you, peeking out of the peep hole. Your heart paused midbeat in your chest and you had the sudden urge to puke, the hairs on the back of your neck rising in a silent warning.

His wife was standing outside of the door, fiddling with her fingers nervously in front of her body. You swallow harshly, your skin tingled with unease and you could feel your heart lodged in your throat. She knocked again and you jolted, without thinking you locked the door and sprinted towards your phone and called Kylo. It rung for awhile and went straight to voicemail. You tried again, he failed to answer, and there was another frantic knock.

"Listen, i'm not angry. I just want to talk." She called behind the door exhaustedly, weakly, and you cautiously tiptoed towards the door, absentmindly peeling the door open slowly. 

You were greeted by her sunken in eyes, puffy and rimmed with sleepiness. You waved awkwardly for her to come in, completely unsure of how you were meant to handle this situation. You were clueless to what she had wanted, but it appeared she was here for you. You had no idea how she even found you here.

"Uh- I'm- I... I'm so sorry." Was all you managed to croak out, your cheeks were flushed with sheepishness and shame as she stepped inside the hotel, eyeing the way you stood in her husbands hotel room, with his shirt on. 

She waved a hand of dismissal and smiled sadly, inviting herself onto the couch. She plopped down with a dramatic sigh and you hesitantly lowered yourself a distance away from her, watching her every movement with widened eyes. She appeared calm. She was rightfully sorrowful, but she didn't appear to be in the least bit angry, just tired.

"Look," she breathed, patting her hands on her legs and rubbing them up and down nervously, her body was tense and shriveled up. "What you did... are doing... is completely wrong. But I know you know that. You don't need me to tell you." There was a barely intelligible hint of malice in her tone, besides that, her voice was quiet and solace. 

"I cant blame it all on you though. And I can't..." She sighed, shifting uncomfortably and blinking rapidly to blink away her tears forming. "And I cant blame him either." 

You stared at her in bewilderment, not taking any of her words to the heart because you knew it was all the truth and you deserved her sharp edged words. 

"What do you mean?" You asked slowly, your eyebrows furrowing as you played with the hem of his t-shirt between your pointer finger and thumb anxiously. You were thankful she bowed her head down low and kept her eyes off of you, because if not, she would see the way your body slightly jolted with each beat of your heart. 

"I pushed him away. I... was cheating on him first." She breathed in exasperation, disappointment with herself, "but not with an oblivious little girl. I found a man who made me feel something." She explained, and surprisingly enough, you got defensive.

You scoffed bitterly, "And Kylo found a girl who made him feel something." She looked taken aback by your vile words, and you swallowed the lump forming in your throat and forced yourself to keep your composure. "What i'm saying is... neither of us are right here." You corrected, attempting to soften your tone.

She blinked a few times before clearing her throat and adjusting her sweater, "I suppose that's... fair." She said, "I didn't come here to fight with you."

You nodded, and your entire body went rigid when she placed a consoling hand on your shoulder, "I came here to warn you." She exclaimed seriously, her demeanor was mysterious.

"About?" You held your trembling hand still, taking deep breaths through your nose as she frowned and shrugged, letting go of you and leaning back on the couch.

"He is a very distant man. Rough." Her eyes darted up and down your body and she huffed in amusement, "But I think you already know that part." 

Your cheeks turned crimson, and your neck buzzed with embarrassment. You nodded curtly and swallowed forcefully, your throat aching from the force of it. 

"I will give you some advice." She offered, leaning forward again, "Don't let his anger burden you. When we were happily together, if you could even call it that, he genuinely hated me. I wonder why we even wedded. Anyways, I can see that you are different to him." She took a deep breath after her rambling, "And even though it pains me to say this... I... I think you two are meant to be together. Even though this age difference thing is disgusting." She snarled, nose scrunching in distaste.

You opened your mouth to speak but she continued, "Theres one thing... that even I don't know about him. And i'm scared to figure it out." Her tone became shaky and frightened, fearful chills ran up your spine. "His family," she nearly whispered, glancing around the room as if she was assuring herself nobody was listening, "He never speaks about them, and if you bring it up, he turns deadly. I think they have something to do with his distancing from people." 

It was all overwhelming, her words were being crammed into your ear and forced into your brain, scrambled together and spinning in circles. 

"I have a feeling you may be able to bring it out of him. Obviously he was never going to tell me anything. I don't think he ever trusted me," She scoffed, and you felt pity for her. Even though she put on a forgiving façade and appeared unfazed by his sinister behavior towards her, you knew deep down that it had to be painful. 

"Just be careful when you try, okay?" She let out a soft laugh, and you chuckled sadly with her. You watched the way her smile faded into nothingness, being overcome by an obvious frown. "That's all, I guess."

She turned sheepish, standing up abruptly and tugging her purse tighter to her shoulder and nodding awkwardly at you. You stared silently for a moment as she walked towards the door, "Wait." You blurted, she stopped and glanced at you from over her shoulder. 

"Thank you." Your voice was meek, shaky, she nodded curtly with a tight lipped smile and headed out the door, closing it tightly behind her.

~

You heard the latch of the door squeak open. You leisurely turned your head and glanced over your shoulder, watching as Kylo strode in with a plastic bag in hand, his leather bag draped over his other shoulder.

For the past few hours, ever since his wife left, you took her words into consideration and pondered on a non-threatening way to mention family, or possibly suggest the topic and see if he took it somewhere on his own. One thing you were positive of; was you weren't going to force the discussion or any answers out of him. You debated on even mentioning it all. 

You decided upon keeping the encounter with his wife today to yourself, shifting uncomfortably on the couch as you pulled the throw blanket closer to your body. He glanced at you with a small smirk as he placed his belongings down, and your smile in return came out queasy. You cursed yourself internally when his eyebrows crinkled together in confusion.

"What's wrong?" He asked cautiously, his leather shoes shuffling slowly against the floor as he tucked his hands in his pockets and tilted his chin up. 

You swallowed nervously, feeling anxious under his hypnotizing stare, you clenched your hand into a fist before releasing it. "Nothing." You sighed heavily, and he hummed in disapproval, taking those taunting steps closer until he was standing directly in front of you.

You kept your head bowed low, your gaze on the blanket as you picked at the cotton wearing off of it. You felt his finger stroke your jaw tenderly, running down to the bottom of your chin. He tilted your head up and forced you to meet his penetrating gaze, he was towering highly above you and his neatly combed black locks were falling in front of his face as he tilted his head down. 

"You're a horrible liar," His finger stayed pressing into your chin as his thumb came up and grazed your bottom lip, "Tell me. What's wrong?" He tilted his head in curiosity and your throat bobbed as you swallowed. 

Should you tell him? You had no idea how he would react. You knew better than to mention the family situation she briefly discussed with you, but you wondered if he would be angry that she came at all.

"I'm waiting." He tapped his foot impatiently, his eyes darting around your face attentively.

You shrugged and turned to move but he seized your jaw entirely, cupping your chin as his knees came into contact with the edge of the couch cushion. His other hand slithered across the blanket and tugged it off of you. His finger gently began to caress your revealed collarbone.

"A shrug is not an answer." He pointed out, raising his eyebrows at you and you shrugged again unintentionally. He sighed, leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before he plopped down directly next to you, your revealed thigh brushing against his crisp dress pants. His hand instinctively grasped your thigh and he growled as he massaged the skin roughly, watching his own hand before averting his gaze back to you.

He lifted his free hand and tucked a strand piece of hair behind your ear, thumb brushing your cheek softly as he smiled contently, a small and barely noticeable grin. "Okay. Enough games. What's going on?"

You couldn't lie to him. It was infeasible, even though lying to Poe had been difficult, this was just entirely impossible in many ways more than one. Not only did you have an internal conflict bickering at you in your mind whenever you tried to tuck things away from him, but he could read you like an opened book. The slightest shift in your movement was enough for him to know whether something was bothering you or not. 

You sighed defeatedly, adjusting yourself to be fully facing him. "You're wife came here today." You breathed urgently, hoping that if the words came out quickly enough he would have less of a reaction. 

His eyebrows knitted together and his hand paused it's caressing on your thigh, his head tilting to the side in annoyance as he scoffed. "What did she want?" He asked, the irritation was plain in his tone. Not with you, but with the entire situation in general.

You looked away, his gaze darkened and was intensifying. "...She wanted to talk to me." You muttered sheepishly, chewing your bottom lip.

He paused, silent for a moment, supposedly consuming your words before he grunted. "And?" He cocked his head at you, your eyes were nervously darting around the sunset displayed beyond the city. You unintentionally ignored him and he clasped your jaw gently and turned your face towards him, watching you expectantly.

You snapped out of your trance, shaking your head lightly and leaning closer to him, encompassing the silk material of his tie in your hands. You fiddled with it, keeping your gaze on it as you cleared your throat.

"She isn't angry. With either of us." You explained softly, eyes flickering to his for a moment before darting back to his tie. He frowned at your response and he placed both of his hands on your waist, hoisting you up and placing you on his lap. His arms circled your body, your back flush with his chest as he rested his chin on your shoulder, subconsciously swaying you in his hold.

"Then what are you so upset about, baby?" He mumbled against your shoulder, pressing a kiss to the bare skin that was exposed considering the lack of coverage his t-shirt offered you. 

You sucked in a shaky breath, pursing your lips together tightly, melting into his consoling touch. It was all perfect, you couldn't bring yourself to ruin this warm moment— but you knew he would be persistent and constantly pester you over it until you told him. 

"I don't think we should talk about this," Your voice quivered, you shook your head vigorously and glanced at him with a nervous chuckle, "It will only upset you." You pushed away from him, standing up abruptly and pacing across the room, biting your lip and crossing your arms in front of your chest. 

"What did she say?" He demanded, his voice was sinister and dark as he stood up forcefully, furrowing his eyebrows at you and studying your pathetically anxious movements. 

You turned and walked away from him. 

"Don't walk away from me." He growled, and you turned to face him, your gut wrenching and twisting around in your stomach, "Come back over here." He pointed to the floor in front of him. 

You stayed in your current spot, your back only inches away from the window and your arms crossed in front of your chest defiantly. He clenched his jaw and began marching towards you. "She mentioned shit about your family!" You blurted, cracking under the pressure of his now menacing presence that was charging for you, which was only standing eerily still now.

His upper lip twitched in fury, his hands clenching into red fists at his sides, his chest and shoulders heaving with every breath he took. His nostrils flared and he took a step forward.

He maintained his breathing to the best of his ability, closing his eyes before they flew open again. He shook his head in disbelief. "She knows nothing of my family." He scoffed, rubbing his jaw aggressively and mumbling curses to himself as he trudged straight past you and stared out the window with his hands on his hips, poking his inner cheek with his tongue. 

"She said that, too." You muttered cautiously, taking hesitant steps towards him, eyes following his gaze out the window. "She thinks I can help you, whatever that means." His head snapped to face you then and your eyes widened. "But I think you're the one whose helped me." You added quickly with a breathy chuckle. 

He brought his fingers up and pinched the bridge of his nose as he sighed with his eyes shut, one hand still on his hip, his massive frame was tense. "No," He said blankly, and for a moment you were afraid until he shook his head vigorously and his eyes flew open, abruptly turning to face you entirely. "No, shes right. You've... changed me, in a sense. It's puzzling." He hummed, staring down at you as if he was trying to solve a criminal investigation that's taken years to crack. 

You frowned at his response, and he gripped your elbows gently and pulled your arms apart, interlocking his hands with yours. "In a good way." He reassured, leaning forward and pressing a heated kiss to the tip of your nose. You nodded with a faltering smile, standing on your tiptoes and pressing a quick kiss to his lips. 

He was fantastic at changing the subject. You almost entirely forgot about the strange hatred he shedded for speaking of his family. Not fully, the thoughts lingered in the back of your mind and you allowed them to run free, unwilling to submit to the curiosity of his past. For now.

You admired his chiseled frame peaking through his button up shirt with a saddened smile. He was incredibly tense, the only warm and calmed part of his body were his hands in yours. You wished you could help him, and you giggled to yourself as you realized there was one thing you could do to help. 

You glanced at the couch, dropping one of his hands and tugging him with you as you began to walk. You plopped yourself down, legs crossed as you faced the opposite arm of the couch. You patted your lap, he stared at you in bewilderment and you did grabby hands for him as you spoke, "Let me massage you." 

He chuckled under his breath and nodded, laying on the couch and propping up his long legs on the arm of it as his head rested in your lap, kicking off his shoes and revealing his socked feet. You beamed down at him with a genuine smile, caressing his cheek with your thumb before one of your hands slipped through his hair, running your fingers through his thick locks, your other hand snaked down to his shoulder. 

You massaged the back of his shoulder bone with your thumb, using the pads of your fingers to massage the tension and he sighed contently, his eyes fluttering shut. You enjoyed the deep, nearly incoherent sounds that left his mouth as you worked against his shoulder, feeling it slowly ease back to normal. 

You threaded your fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp tenderly and humming softly. His breathing level decreased, the angry pants turned into calm, spread apart breaths past his lips. "I'm going to fall asleep, baby." He whispered, his voice was raspy and tired. You shushed him and continued playing with his hair. It only took another minute before he was passed out entirely, snoring nearly silently. 

You continued humming and bent forward, pressing a kiss to his forehead and stroking his hair. You carefully uncrossed your legs, spreading them widely so they could stretch along his own, trapping him, his head rested on your lower stomach as you leaned back and used the throw pillow for comfort behind your head.

You two both needed the rest. Even if it was only 5:30pm. It never hurt to get a head start on sleep.


	24. Owned by my Demons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Physical abuse pre-warning**

You awoke a couple of hours after you passed out with an emotionally distraught Kylo snoozing peacefully in your lap. Strangely enough, he was gone. You recognized the emptiness instantly, the lack of his weight on you, before you even allowed your eyelids to flutter open. 

You wearily blinked as you were greeted by a dense darkness, the moonlight drifting through the windows cooled your face with tranquility, as it was your only source of light. You pushed yourself up from the awkward position you had been sleeping in, sitting up with the pads of your feet coming into contact with the chilly, smooth surface of the tile flooring. 

You glanced around the room, expecting to see Kylo— but he wasn't there. The bed was empty and properly made, the bathroom door was ajar and the lights were off, and all of the seating in the room was empty. Your eyebrows subconsciously furrowed as you rose up from the couch, peeking around the room, "Kylo?" You called out softly, crossing your arms over your chest. The only intelligible sound in the room was the pattering of your feet. 

You cracked the main door open and poked your tousled head out, squinting to adjust to the intense brightness of the lighting illuminating the halls. You glanced in both directions, "Kylo?" You whisper shouted, being careful not to wake anybody. There was no trace of him.

You sighed and sealed the door shut, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the stillness in the room. It was eerie, the dim moonlight cascading down and casting menacing shadows along the charcoal walls, the silence flooding your ears was sinister and unwelcoming. 

You heard a phone buzz and you scurried across the room, searching frantically for it, only to find his phone before yours. It laid face down on the coffee table, vibrating and lightly shaking the entire table as it rung silently. You frowned at the sight, curiosity sprouted within you. Where could he have gone? Without his phone?

You were antsy, tapping your foot anxiously and sucking in deep breaths as you stood near the door and waited around fifteen minutes to see if he would show, but he never did, and that was when you chose to take things into your own hands. You peered down at your clothing; which consisted of his t-shirt, pantless. You waltzed into the bathroom, your steps still wobbly, and you chuckled when your eyes glazed over a massive silk robe with 'Ren' in red cursive writing on the right peck.

You slipped it on over his t-shirt, the sleeves hung past your hands and you pushed them up your forearm, tying the knot extremely tight around the waist. The hem went far past your knees, reaching your calves. 

You crossed your arms in front of your chest to prevent your cleavage from falling out at any moment as you scrammed from the restroom and bolted towards the door, disregarding shoes completely. You tiptoed out of the room, quietly closing the door behind you as you took cautious steps down the hall, peeking around the sharp corner and assuring yourself nobody was around, before you floated towards the empty elevator. 

Your skin crawled, shivers running up your spine as you stepped inside of the elevator. It was an ice box in there, goosebumps forming on the exposed skin of your calves and feet as you hugged the robe tighter to your body, rolling your shoulders. 

It chimed loudly and the doors whirred shut, you hummed to yourself and bounced on your heels until you came to a sudden stop. A beat. And then the doors whirred back open, you hesitantly stepped out, your feet tingling from the coldness of tiles. You grimaced at the sheer thought of the bacteria that was surely collecting on the pads of your feet. 

The lobby was shockingly filled with people, and you noted that the majority of them were either heading in or out of the bar, stumbling and their hysterical laughs echoing around the grand, high ceilings. You exchanged glances with an employee who appeared displeased about your appearance, you snickered and swayed your hips as you approached the glass doors that entered the bar, deciding upon checking in there first. 

A random drunk mans eyes darted up and down your body multiple times, opening the door for you. You smiled a nervous thanks, slipping inside and halting in the center of the lively room. Men and women in luxury clothing sat at every corner, gouging in on alcohol and lost in deep conversations. 

You scanned the room with your eyes narrowed, until they fell upon his, already meeting yours through the crowd. His jaw clenched and he took a lazy sip of his whiskey, averting his gaze from you, his eyebrows set in a hard line as if he was disappointed to see you. 

You frowned and your face contorted into concern as you tiptoed over to him. He sat alone at the bar table, elbows propped up against the counter as his glass dangled loosely from his fingers, eyeing the bronze liquid as he lightly twirled his glass. 

"There you are," you breathed in relief, softly placing your hand on his bicep, and to your utter surprise, he nudged you away, keeping his gaze down low and adjusting uncomfortably in his seat. "Is everything okay?" You asked cautiously, hopping up on the stoll next to him. 

He remained silent, taking a sip of his drink and swallowing forcefully, clearing his throat as he placed his drink down. His eyes flickered to yours, they were glossy and glazed over. He was drunk. You wondered how long he had been here, how many drinks he had.

"Everything is fine." He spoke through gritted teeth despised his solace tone. You studied his mechanisms in silence, noting that he was in the clothes he fell asleep in, recognizing the hardly coherent differences between his usual body gestures. 

He caught you staring and he scowled, huffing and chugging on his whiskey until his glass was drained of a single drop, slamming it down and pursing his lips. 

"I can leave if-"

"No." He spoke urgently, holding out a hand to stop you from moving. You nodded with a faltering smile, propping up an elbow and resting your chin in your palm as you admired him in all of his pissed off glory. He was beautiful, whether he be angry or calm. No matter the occasion, he never failed to leave you head over heels in love with him.

Even though he ordered you to stay, you felt intrusive and unwanted. He failed to offer any form of communication with you, avoiding eye contact and nodding his head towards the bar tender who silently poured him another glass. You felt uncomfortable, he was acting distant and foreign. 

You sighed obnoxiously on purpose, tapping your fingers against the counter. You caught his attention idly, his eyes flickered over to you, and then up and down your body. "I see you found my robe." He spoke blankly, staring at his glass and you nodded. 

"I wasn't going to walk out here with no pants on." You muttered and shrugged, he huffed in amusement, tapping his long finger against the glass and humming in response, raising his eyebrows.

The bar tender returned, this time his attention was set on you. "Need a drink?" He asked and cocked an eyebrow at you. You forced yourself not to look at Kylo and nodded, "just a beer please." He nodded in response and turned on his heel, you sniffled and itched the tip of your nose and glanced at him, he was staring at you in aggravation.

"Don't look at me like that." You chuckled nervously, eyebrows furrowed, "I think I deserve a drink. I'm stressed too, you know."

He scoffed, "I'm not stressed." He spat, just as the bar tender sat a cold, glass bottle of beer directly in front of you. The damp mildew transferred to your hand as you popped off the cap and chugged relentlessly with a content sigh, placing it back down. He was staring at you with his lips pursed, frozen solid in place. 

"I think it's best if you go back up to bed." You caught the snark in his tone, the demand. You didn't respond, drinking some more beer, ignoring the death glare he flashed you. 

"Does this have something to do with your family?" You snapped, spiraling out of control after you had enough of his wicked glares and aggravated sounds. 

He froze entirely, his chest stopped heaving with each breath as his jaw clenched tightly to the point you thought it would explode under the pressure. His entire existence in that moment darkened, the atmosphere around him becoming sickeningly unsettling. He leisurely tilted his head to face you.

"What the fuck, did you just say?" His tone was frighteningly blank, his nostrils flaring in rage, his ears wigging from the force of his teeth gritting together. 

You sucked in a shaky breath and moved to hop off of the chair but he stood up forcefully and his hand flew out and circled your wrist, squeezing to the point you felt bruises forming along your skin as he pierced you with his watery dagger gaze. 

"You're hurting me," You whined, squirming in the restraint his hand had caused and grunting as he squeezed harder, your hand began to tingle and go limp in his hand. Tears prickled in your eyes as you met his furious, predatory gaze, his staggering breaths wafted in your face while he towered above you. 

"Kylo, you're hurting me." You attempted to keep your voice hushed, but it was infeasible to choke down the fear that had slithered its way up your throat. His eyes were hazy, as if his vision was a blur and he wasn't in control of his actions. His other hand gripped your throat and you croaked, the music and chatter was too loud for anybody to make out your coughs and wheezes as he squeezed with determination, as if he wanted to kill you. 

You sobbed then, clawing at his hand on your throat as tears slid down your cheeks in droplets on his hand, your breath laboring and your vision going starry. 

Just as you excepted your pitiful fate, being choked to death in front of useless people, both of his hands released you swiftly. You were incapable of seeing, everything was a gray haze, but you felt yourself stumble and you collapsed forward, smashing into that familiar warm chest, his bulky arms instantly engulfing you. 

"No, no. I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean it," He rasped, his voice cracking as if he was on the verge of tears as you blinked into his button up shirt to restore your vision, your head was spinning and you were incredibly dizzy. "Fuck," He growled to himself, "Come on, let me fix this." 

Even if you had the energy to protest, you failed to before he scooped you up in his arms wedding style and pressed a shaky kiss to your sweaty forehead. Your vision was slowly returning, you could make out his face but it was a jumbled blur. Your head was dangling limply over his forearm, your breath hitching occasionally. 

KYLO'S POV:

"I'm so sorry, I love you, I would never hurt you." His voice was desperate, he was fearful you would never forgive him for this, for his unforgivable mistakes he constantly found himself making. The last thing he ever wanted was to lose you, and if he wouldn't have snapped out of his flurry of rage quick enough, he could've lost you in many ways more than one. 

He shuddered at the thought, cradling you tightly to his chest as he jogged towards the elevator with frightened determination in each stomp. His brain was on fire, his mind felt as if it would combust and he would burst into endless flames, a worn out cassette tape emitting clouds of smoke and steam. 

His heart thumped and rattled his entire being, his body was radiating rage, making its descent down its ladder, taking its time to fade into solace as he watched her eyelids flutter with raspy breaths. 

He was already in pain. This only inflicted an anguishing, excruciating flaming dagger to his heart. He couldn't process the idea that he was the reasoning to your pain. He was dangerous, deadly for you. You were unsafe with him. 

But he was selfish, the most self conceded man he knew of. This didn't mean he would let you go, he never would. He would do anything and everything to keep you by his side. 

It was the demons, the blood thirsty, spawns from hell that lingered beyond the depths of his mind, shouting curses and demands at him, forcing him to do these things to the point he can't control it. They seize his limbs and steal his senses, using them for their own benefit, making him perform actions he despised.

His demons owned him. He grew accustomed to them and gave up on searching for the antidote to this supposedly incurable illness. And when he met you, it was a hard pill to swallow, a pill that settled within him and blossomed into a cure to his sickness. It had been in affect since he had met you, and it wasn't finished with it's healing.

That was one of the thousand reasons why he needed you. You made him feel, you made him push away his demons and his numbness. Those demons were just infeasible to contain when his family was mentioned, and that was one thing that he was incapable of interpreting then downfall of. That was the only thing that could feed their untamable appetite. They craved the fury that was drawn from him when his trauma was relatively brought up. 

You sputtered nonsense, snapping him out of his trance and he shushed you softly and stroked your hair, mumbling his apologies as he exited the elevator and marched to the room. He slammed the door shut behind him as he stormed inside, whirling around the couch and gently placing you down, placing a pillow under your head and draping the throw blanket over you, tucking you in. 

He dropped to his knees by your side, one hand caressing your lower stomach and the other stroking your hair. He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to your cheek. "I will never hurt you again, baby, I promise." He whispered against the soft skin of your cheek as he placed a second kiss and leaned his forehead against your temple. 

You nodded against him, your eyes sealed shut as your breathing relaxed and he smiled. He knew you would forgive him. You were naive, he loved you regardless of your adorable flaws, your perfect imperfections. 

You fell asleep not shortly after he had placed you down, he continued caressing you softly nevertheless, comfortable against your settled frame as he pondered and studied your softening features, your beautiful face and the pretty sounds that escaped your lips as you slept surprisingly blissfully.

He couldn't undo what he had done, and that was enough to place a burrowing shame deep within his chest. He was heartbroken all over again, he needed you to heal it, but he needed to help you understand first. He had to fight the demons to regain his independence back. 

They won this time. And they're never going to win again.


	25. Out by Morning

"Honey, can you come down here?" Your mother called from the foot of the stairs, her voice was laced with insincere sweetness. 

You wordlessly obliged with a sigh, rolling your eyes and throwing yourself out of your bed. You idly studied yourself in the mirror, eyeing the faint bruising that lingered on your neck. You tugged on a hoodie and adjusted it to conceal them to the best of your abilities. 

You hopped down the stairs, skipping every other step as your hand slid down the railing. Your socks patted against the hardwood, both of your parents stood in the center of the living room with their arms crossed in front of their chests. The looks on their faces caused your gut to wrench, feeling uneasy. 

"Is something wrong?" You asked cautiously, slowing your steps until your reached the tile flooring. All of the possible wrongs you've committed in the past month accumulated in your brain, building tension as the room remained sickeningly silent. 

Your father took a step forward and you winced. He eyed you disappointedly, an eyebrow cocked. "We need to discuss a few things with you. Take a seat in the dinning room. We will meet you there in a moment." He addressed you with formality and it made your stomach churn. He always dealt with you as if you were a business associate, never his child. 

You nodded hesitantly, noting the look your mother plastered on her face. She looked nervous, skittish, her eyes were soft and saddened as she watched you tiptoe to the dinning room. 

You plopped yourself down in one of the seats, twiddling with your thumbs and feeling anxious. You had no clue what sort of trouble you were in... but you knew nothing good could come out of this conversation that was to be held. 

Your mom and dad never made an effort to interact with you, unless it had to do with economics, politics, or if you were caught doing something they found intolerable. Other than that, they left you to entertain yourself. Occasionally, you had dinner together as a family, which always consisted of one of their business partners joining in, and they were always certain you all appeared as a perfect, proper family. 

Your mother scurried in first, keeping her head bowed low and avoiding eye contact with you as she sat in one of the seat across from you. She fumbled with her low, slick bun before she clasped her hands in front of her, propping them up on the table. You made a few sounds with your throat and tongue in an attempt to catch her attention but she remained reluctant in acknowledging you.

Your father made an entrance shortly after. He adjusted his plaid button up, running a hand through his gray tinted blonde hair. He purses his lips and flashed you a false tight lipped smile. You swallowed thickly, your throat bobbing from the effort it took to consume the negativity spiraling through the heated air. 

He sat down next to your mom, sighing and holding one of her hands. They both appeared to be composing themselves, and you watched with wide, concerned eyes.

"What's happening?" You breathed, eyes darting between their clasped hands and stern faces.

Your father sighed once again, "we need to talk about school." He paused. "College." He corrected, his words failing to cure your bewilderment.

You blinked at him in confusion, "I'm already enrolled for college. At Julliard. You knew this." You scoffed in disbelief, he couldn't even remember that you were enlisted into one of the countries most luxurious university's. 

The hurt you felt by his lack of care for you was overthrown by fear when he shook his head, "of course I know that." He sounded offended, cocking his head backwards and narrowing his eyes. "Your mother and I have been talking this over on our trip," He cut himself off and glanced at her, she flashed him a reassuring nod and he continued.

"We believe it would be best for you to move out. Find an apartment nearby, learn how to evolve on your own." He explained, and your heartbeat increased rapidly, unsure if it was anxiety or excitement, or a mixture of both. 

"You mean... now?" You asked, and they both nodded. Your mom chimes in and takes both of your hands in hers.

"Yes, now. We need you to blend in with the real world when the time comes. We will pay your rent." She assured, but all you could feel was bitterness towards both of them all of a sudden.

You would gladly move out, that wasn't the issue here...

"I've been on my own for 19 fucking years," you spat, watching as their faces contorted into shock, you yanked your hands from your mothers grip. "I think I have plenty of experience." 

Your father scowled and huffed, your mother's eyes grew watery and blood shot as she sniffles. He cooed and consoled her for a moment as you sat and watched unsympathetically, arms crossed and chin tilted up defiantly. He snapped his gaze back to yours with annoyance.

"Don't speak to us that way," he barked, sending spit through his clenched teeth and you hardly twitched at his words, eyeing him with an uninterested expression. "If you think you are so capable of being on your own, if you think you have experience, then start packing your bags right this second. I want you out by the morning." 

You stared at him for a few moments, your heart cracked and crumbled in your chest. This was just an unsatisfying conformation that he never truly cared for you. It made sense now, why he never told you he loved you, even as you were growing up. It was unsettling and painful to consume his words, each word sent sorrow through your veins, pumping into your fragile heart. Especially when you put all of your trust in this man, the man who didn't deserve the right to call you his daughter.

Your mom shouted at him, but her words were incoherent through the staticky white noise flooding your ears, the blur of your vision. Your aching heart took control of your limbs and you flew up from the table, both of them called out for you but it was useless. You marched up the stairs with gritted teeth, trying to muffle the sobs that were beginning to escape your throat as tears slithered down your cheeks.

You shoved your bedroom door open, slamming it shut behind you and locking it. Through the distortion your uncontrollable tears caused, you could hear banging eliciting from the opposite side of the door and you disregarded it completely as you tore empty boxes out of your box and aggressively through them onto the bed. 

You yanked every article of clothing you desired forcefully from their hangers, out of the drawers, stuffing them into all of the suitcases you owned with furious grunts as you crammed it all together. You packed all of your toiletries, your throat was sore and burning from the cries you released. 

You threw your blankets, pillows, personal belongings and room decor into different boxes. You only had a few boxes right now, and in the midst of your breakdown you weren't prepared to confront your parents ever again, truthfully. 

So you waited. Waited. And waited. Until the screams from the other side of the door faded away and the sun had set, the gorgeous blue that you had awoken to that morning was now a crispy midnight navy, a cool breeze slithering it's way through your cracked window.

Your tears had minimized, your cheeks were still stained and damp, eyes bloodshot, but you had downgraded your sobs into occasional hitches of your throat as you sat with your back pressed to the door, head tilted towards the ceiling and hugging your knees to your chest.

It had been nearly 5 hours, you managed to pack a load of random belongings you owned and cry for all of that time. You had a plan. An unthorough, but reliable plan. 

Step 1: call Kylo. Even though a lot of physically and mentally draining occurrences have taken place with him in the past week and a half, all of the hassling and frightening moments were constantly drowned out by all of the endearing ones. You trusted and relied on him, you knew regardless of what mood he was in, he would do anything in his power to care for you in a time like this. 

Dialing his number and pressing your phone to your ear, you chewed your lip in anticipation as it rung persistently. You glanced at the digital clock in your bedroom and it read 1:07am. You began to worry he wouldn't pick up, just as you heard static and his deep, scruffy voice, "Hello?" He sounded exhausted, and you were afraid you had woken him. 

"Hey, um... I'm sorry If I-"

"No, no." He spoke urgently, you heard shuffling on the other end as he yawned. "I'm glad you called." He said, you could hear his tiny smile through the phone. "Is everything okay?" 

You fumbled with the hem of your sweatshirt and shrugged even though he couldn't see you, "I don't know." You breathed in exasperation, feeling the tears well up all over again.

"You don't know? What's wrong?" He asked, concern lacing his voice as you heard more shuffling, and then the sound of his feet pattering against the floor slowly. 

"My parents are kicking me out of the house," You sighed, your heart twinging at the words, "I've already packed but," You croaked, having to stop momentarily as your throat burned and you sniffled, "I have nowhere to go. I have to leave right now. I can't look at them." You heard silence on the opposite end for awhile, and then you heard something shatter.

You staggered to sit up straighter, your eyebrows furrowed as your eyes wandered to the side. "Kylo? Are you okay?" 

He sighed, "do you need me to come get you?" He ignored your meandering and asked seriously, his voice was hoarse and thick with concern. "Stay with me at my hotel. I will help you figure all of this out."

You shook your head, "No, it's okay, i'll drive." You said, standing up forcefully and holding the phone to your ear with your shoulder as you hurriedly tugged on a pair of leggings. "Will you... facetime me while I drive to you? I don't want to be alone right now." You felt sheepish and childish, but it was the truth.

"That could be dangerous, you need to focus on the road." He paused momentarily, "Fine. I already know you were pouting just now." 

You giggled lightly, "I'll call you when I get in the car." You breathed, you said goodbye to one another and you tucked your phone into the pocket of your hoodie. To be safe, you put on your collar and tucked it under your sweatshirt so nobody else could see it, and then you grabbed as much as you could carry at once and brought it downstairs.

Darkness flooded the living room, you appreciated the tranquil silence as you gently pulled open the door and it creaked. You flinched at the sound, tip toeing out the door. You cursed yourself quietly when you unlocked your car and it honked. You frantically scurried to the car and chucked your suitcases inside, preparing to make a second trip into the house.

You creeped back into the house, sneaking up the stairs and pushing your bedroom door back open when the hallway light flickered on and you froze, hand outstretched and reaching for the knob. You leisurely turned your head to see your mother standing at the end of the lengthy hall, hands on her hips and her bottom lip quivering.

"W-what are you doing?" Her voice was shaky and meek.

You blinked rapidly to recollect yourself and shoved your door back open, "Leaving." Your unthoughtful response hung over her head and she speed walked towards you with a scoff, trailing behind you as you grabbed the rest of your bags without looking at her. 

"Honey..." She said, grasping your arm and you nudged her away, "your father didn't mean any of that. He was just-"

"Please, save it mom." Your voice broke as you stomped and whined, holding a hand out to halt her. "He said everything I needed to know." You roughly slung your backpack over your shoulder and stacked a few boxes, hoisting them in your arms. It should've been the last of it for tonight. 

You brushed past your mother, who followed closely behind you and basically breathed on your neck as you rushed down the stairs. 

"What are you going to do? Where will you stay?" She asked frantically, walking hurriedly by your side and staring at you.

"Don't worry about it. I have somewhere safe to stay." You threw your belongings into the car and turned to face her. "Bye." You mumbled, your eyes stinging with tears for the third time. You waltzed away from her and yanked your car door open.

A tear slid down her cheek and she brushed it away urgently, "Be careful. Love you. Call me if you can..." She pleaded, and you nodded in response. You felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. Even though she could be cruel, and this whole situation she had agreed to spring upon you wasn't ideal, you still loved her. 

You waved idly, starting the car and buckling your seatbelt. You angled your phone to where she couldn't see it as she stood and watched in the driveway as you dialed Kylo. You pulled away from the house swiftly, your tires squealing against the road as you zoomed away and propped up your phone on its mount, which was attached to the windshield.

He picked up after a few rings, your eyes darted between him and the road as he held the phone away from his face, outstretched and propped up against the arm of the couch. He smiled at you, taking a sip of whisky from his glass. 

"I just left my mom, she was crying..." You breathed, one hand steering the wheel and the other propping up your face as you rested your elbow on the door and anxiously raked a hand through your hair. "I feel like a shitty person." 

He sighed boldly, you glanced at your phone and saw him pursing his lips and leaning forward, placing his glass down on a coffee table with a dull thud and leaning back, his eyes trained on the facetime call. 

"Don't feel bad, sweetheart." He consoled, rubbing his under eye with his knuckle, the call lagged a bit before it went back to normal. You glanced at him again and he flashed you a scolding look, humming in disapproval. "Pay attention to the road." He ordered softly, you nodded. 

You spent the majority of the facetime call in silence, occasionally saying a few things to one another. You simply enjoyed his presence, even if he was being quiet. He wasn't a talker anyways, and he was half asleep. 

You noticed the lighting had changed around him, amber lights illuminating his softened, sleepy features, his loose wavy locks bouncing with his steps. You had no clue where he was headed but you paid no mind to it as you pulled into the hotel parking lot. You zoomed under the large entryway near the entrance, leaving your car to run and only grabbing your bag of necessities as you allowed the chauffeur to hop into your car.

You held your phone tightly in hand, seeing Kylo smirking at you. "What?" You chuckled, jaw dropping in surprise when he hung up on you without another word. 

Another chauffeur— a familiar one from the week before, held the door open for you with a proper nod and you flashed him a toothy smile as you stepped inside the grand hotel— instantly being greeted with Kylo. He had his robe on, the one you had stolen from him last week, but this time he adorned a welcoming smile and a smaller robe that matched his clutched in his massive hands.

You gawked at him, disregarding the robe momentarily as you rushed over to him and stood on your tiptoes to press a soft kiss to his lips, smiling and taking the robe out of his hands as he offered it to you.

The material was black and silky, just like his, and embroidered in red cursive thread was your name, right above where your right breast would be. "Thank you," You gratefully mumbled, he nodded and pressed a kiss to your forehead before he grabbed your bag in one hand, taking your robe and slinging it over his shoulder. 

He used his free hand to interlock his fingers with yours, pulling you with him towards the elevator. You noticed his methodical movements were rather hurried, impatient even, as he tapped his foot in the elevator and caused it to slightly shake.

It chimes and the doors slid open, he led you to the hotel room he had been practically living in since he filed for divorce with Julia. You waltzed inside first, he closed and locked the door behind him and carefully sat your bag on the floor. 

You eyed around the room, turning around to face him and he smiled wickedly, his eyes sinister. "Strip for me, baby." He ordered, you hesitated, his words left you breathless and struggling for air. "Go on." He cooed, nodding his head towards you. 

As you began to tug off your sweatshirt, he removed your robe from his shoulder and fiddled with it, flailing it to decrease any wrinkles as he watched you attentively, eyeing your bra concealed breasts as you threw your hoodie to the floor carelessly. 

You thumbed the hem of your leggings, biting your lip seductively as you leisurely began to pull them down, he clicked his tongue and paused you. "Turn around." He twirled his finger and you giggled nervously, bending over and arching your back, offering him an incredible view as you continued pulling down your pants until they dropped to your feet. You kicked them off, turning back around.

You smiled and batted your eyelashes innocently, reaching behind you and unclasping your bra. He released a low hum from the depths of his throat as you threw it to the floor and your breasts sprung free. You tauntingly pulled down your underwear and he swallowed, his adam's apple bobbing aggressively as his eyes trailed down your bare thighs. 

He held the sleeves of your robe and held it out to you, you swayed your hips as you strutted over to him and slipped in one arm at a time. He assisted you and wrapped it around your body, tying a knot securely around your waist. He bent down, hands on your hips as he pressed a pliant kiss to the revealed valley of your breasts, exposed at the top of your robe. 

You ran your hands through his hair as he averted his lips to your collarbone, pressing soft kisses that lingered and imprinted bliss within you. He kissed up your throat, thumbs digging into your hipbones as he hummed into your skin, sending vibrations into your neck. He placed one last kiss, directly on the pendant of your collar and he pulled away. Towering over and scuffling with your hair playfully, placing a final kiss to your lips. 

"On the bed, lay back." He directed, pointing towards the bed and you nodded with an eager smile, your heart drumming against your chest with anticipation and lust. 

You laid back first against the bed, the silk of your robe and the sheets merging together and leaving you melting in comfort. You pressed your thighs together, rubbing your legs together and running your arms up and down the bed as the softness of it all captures you and leaves you vulnerable. 

Kylo's gaze was hungry; starving, parched, yearning to liquify you and drink every drop of you up. His steps were slow, teasing, shivers crawled up your spine and lodged desire deep in your throat as he creeped closer and closer to you, until he made predatory eye contact with you and dropped to his knees slowly. 

His hands ran up your calves, idly massaging the skin on the way up, caressing your knees until they stopped on your thighs. His large fingers dig into your soft skin, prying your legs open. He held them open as he licked his lips, his eyes darting between your dripping pussy and your needy gaze. 

"Tell me what you want, baby." He licked the drool threatening to spill from his lips, "And it's yours." He smirked mischievously, hooking his arms around your thighs and propping them up on his shoulders, massaging the skin with care. His face was only inches from your soaking core, his warm breath stimulating you as you shuddered.

"Please. I want you to taste me, please." You begged, your cunt was eager and screaming for his touch. He pressed soft, passionate kisses along the expanse of your inner thighs, humming contently and sending waves of desire straight to your pussy. 

"Good girl," he growled into your skin, nagging on it and you yelped. He licked the spot with his warm tongue, before he licked all the way up to your tingling pussy lips. He made intense, animalistic eye contact with you before he devoured you completely.

You moaned lewdly, arching your back off of the bed and pushing your hips into his face as his tongue swirled around your entrance, lapping up your liquid arrousel and dragging it to your clit. He growled into it, flicking it with his tongue and pinning your hips down to the bed with his hands, making wet, sticky sounds with his mouth as he licked and sucked, your entire body trembling with want.

"You taste so fucking good." He pushed his face into you further, his nose constantly brushing your sensitive clit as he thrusted his tongue inside of your entrance and you screamed, your skin was flushed red and you squeezed the sides of his head with your thighs, your eyes sealed shut as you released wanton sounds. 

"I've been thinking about this all day," He growled into you, sending vibrations to your clit and tremors through your body as he passionately made out with your pussy, "feeling your cunt on my tongue..." He cut himself off with a groan into you, sealing his lips around you clit and sucking with determination.

You jolted, your legs trembling as you felt your climax building, your mouth propped open in a perfect little 'o' while he placed a light slap to your thigh once your hips began to work against his mouth again. 

He moaned into your pussy as you clenched around his tongue, he slurped you up with pure desire as if this was enough to make him cum himself. The pleasure that bubbled in your lower belly at the simple fact he craved the feeling of pleasing you was immense and growing by the second, you knew you wouldn't last much longer. 

"F-ffuckk," Your breath hitched, your entire body tensing and jerking as you struggle to hold onto your climax, "I need to cum, please, may I?" You could hardly form any words, the two of you hadn't had any sexual interactions ever since that night, and your body was trying to grapple onto your sanity as he sucked the life out of your pussy. 

"Go ahead, cum in my mouth little girl." He hummed into you, his eyes were closed tightly and he moaned into you again and you fisted his hair, pulling his face closer to your sex as he began to rub circles into your clit with his thumb and thrust his tongue into you.

That was enough to draw you over the edge, you screamed lewdly, your head fell backward as one hand yanked his hair and the other clasped onto the sheets for dear life as your orgasm took over your body. You came into his mouth, he consumed and licked it all up with ambition, pressing another kiss to your pussy before he pulled away breathlessly. 

He used his fingers to clean your cum off of his face. You smiled and blushed sheepishly when you noticed it was gleaming on his cheeks and the tip of his nose. He brought his cum soaked fingers to his mouth, sucking them clean and making provocative eye contact with you as he did so with a satisfied hum. 

You sat up, legs still spread widely as he remained on his knees, hands running up and down your thighs. You smirked sinisterly and reached down to palm his bulge but he stopped you, shaking his head no. 

"No." He clicked his tongue, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to your concealed, hardened nipple. "Tonight isn't about pleasuring me." He smiled, a sincere and content smile. 

You undoubtedly loved this man. Whole heartedly, unmistakably, loved him. It was absurd that it was even possible to feel this way about somebody. 

You placed your fingertip on the bottom of his chin, scratching the stubble that had been growing there and pressing a kiss to his lips, your cheeks turning crimson when you tasted yourself. 

"You're delicious aren't you?" He mumbled into your lips as he wrapped his arms around your waist and tugged you closer, kissing you again. The kiss grew extremely passionate, you deepened it, tongues interlocking and mingling as one. He stood up with you in his arms, holding you up so your feet hovered above the ground. He swirled you around, your lips connected and refusing to disperse as you giggled into his mouth. 

He pulled away then with a satisfying plop, falling backwards into the bed with you in his arms. He kicked off his shoes carelessly, fervently kissing your jaw as he did. Once he was finished, he turned off the lamp, pulling the sheet over you both and holding you close to his large frame.

Your rested your cheek on his peck, staring up at his handsome face in awe. One of his arms secured you tightly and the other rested on his chest as he used the back of his finger to caress your cheek softly. 

"The divorce is finalized. I'm officially an unmarried man." He blurted, chuckling lowly to himself as you jumped up in excitement, propping yourself up on your forearm and watching him with an affectionate smile, his hand trailing up your back and massaging your scalp. 

"Really?" You asked eagerly, he nodded. "Well, I'm sorry I ruined your big day with my family drama." Your beaming smile turned into a dull frown, his hand abandoned your cheek and he brushed your bottom lip with his thumb, tilting your chin up and forcing you to continue meeting his gaze. 

"You make everything better," His eyebrows were crinkled together as if he had been offended by your statement, he brought your face closer and pressed a kiss to your forehead. "I actually fell asleep waiting on you to call..." 

You then remembered that the two of you have been calling each other every night for the past week and falling asleep on the phone together. You were too caught up in your mental breakdown to even consider falling asleep anyways. You felt terrible. You loved waking up to him on facetime, getting ready together each morning and babbling to him. He had originally thought of this idea, intending to use this while your parents were home instead of spending everyday together. Seeing each other early in the morning at school and falling asleep on the phone were your only options then. 

Now, you were free. Free to be with him, your parents technically disowned you, and you felt like a heavy boulder had been released from your shoulders and you could finally make your own decisions for once. They claimed you to be old enough, and considering the fact you were in a committed relationship with a man seven years older than you; you realized you were more prepared for this world that you had originally thought.

"I'm sorry, I was just s-"

He shushed you and brought his finger to your lips. You chuckled, laying your head back down on his chest and draping your thigh across his torso, clutching onto him. 

"Tomorrow is Saturday, which means i'm going to take you out to do something. Whatever you choose." He muttered into your hair, caressing your back. 

"Hmm. I don't know." You mumbled into his chest sleepily, your voice soft and gentle as your eyes fluttered shut.

"Let's sleep on it," He grumbled, his voice hoarse and tired. "Goodnight, baby." He kissed your head, nuzzling his face into your hair even further and inhaling the scent of you.

"Goodnight, daddy." You whispered with a nearly incoherent giggle.

You allowed his warm and welcoming embrace to lull you to sleep. Through the stress and overwhelming thoughts swarming your brain, and the fact you were practically homeless, you had no idea how you fell asleep so quickly.


	26. Another Second

"This is bullshit," you mumbled breathlessly, slamming another box down on the bare hardwood floor of your brand new apartment. 

Kylo glanced at you from over his shoulder, unloading groceries into your fridge with a blank expression. You kicked the box forcefully, only to wince at the pain and cradle your toes. 

"I don't understand why they hate me so much," you complained, he had grown accustomed to your constant bickering over the subject. He eventually stopped responding, occasionally humming in response, drowning you out completely. 

You groaned irrationally, eliciting a nearly incoherent huff of amusement from him as he concentrated on putting all of the food you had bought today away. You had no clue how he managed— but he was able to find an apartment that was up for release for you today. The argument had hardly even been twenty-four hours ago. However, you failed to question his capabilities and just learned to go along with it and be grateful. 

The window nearest to the door was cracked open, allowing fresh air to burrow its way inside of your apartment, overbearing the faint musty scent that lingered after being left vacant for a long period of time. You decided that a break was well over deserved after unpacking all day, dragging your feet lazily over to the window and staring out with a dull expression on your face. 

Palms pressed into the windowsill, you gazed at the wonderful view you had been greeted with. You were incredibly lucky and thankful for Kylo; without him, this modern style, recently renovated apartment would be infeasible. You appreciated his kindliness, as he had offered to pay your rent until you settled in. Half of you wondered where he had gotten all of this money from. It certainly was not a cheap apartment, it was luxurious and simple. 

He had expected to take you out to do something fun today, but after one of his friends called him and offered him an apartment, he gracefully accepted it for you. Which led to the discussion of him possibly moving in with you. 

You realized how fast you were moving, how rapidly your brain was spinning, so you tried to keep your mouth shut. You were originally terrified of scaring him away by asking him to move in, but then you remember his words and promises to you on that faintly traumatic night, and you knew the true reason you were pushing the thoughts aside were because you didn't want to overwhelm him.

He was fresh out of a bombarding, emotionally draining marriage. In the moment you felt selfish for even depending on him in the first place. Instead of running errands with you today, he should've been out drinking and celebrating. He was offended that you even believed he preferred to be out drinking rather than spending time with you. It was hard to judge which he would rather be doing when he constantly wore a steel façade of emotionlessness or anger. 

"Hey, Kylo?" You called quietly from over your shoulder, forearms pressed into the windowsill.

Holding the fridge door open, he attentively looked at you from over his shoulder, "yes?" He asked, averting his gaze back to the fridge.

"I'm going to go for a walk. I need some air." You exclaimed as you pushed yourself away from the window, he closed the fridge and crossed his arms in front of his chest, eyeing you suspiciously.

He pondered for a moment before he sighed. "Be careful." He muttered, bending down and gathering the rest of the food out of the grocery bags. 

"You don't have to do that for me," you chuckled as you slipped your shoes back on and opened the front door, a waft of freshly grilled food from a nearby restaurant and the crisp breeze flooding your nostrils. 

"It's fine. You go calm yourself down," he focused on the cabinets as he spoke, slipping stuff inside and filling the empty shelves, "I don't need my baby all fussy tonight." He cocked a brow at you pointedly and you waved a playful hand of dismissal at him.

"Fine, fine. I'll be back." You rambled and rolled your eyes as you closed the door shut tightly behind you. You scurried through the halls, stepping inside of the elevator as it dinged and carried you down three flights. 

You and the two other people occupying the elevator spilled out and went separate ways. You smiled and waved idly to the receptionist at the front desk, she nodded and waved silently back as she held a phone up to her ear.

You shoved the glass doors open, a bell dining, and inhaled the blissful scent of hibiscus bushes and the livelihood of the outskirts of Queens. The air was mellow and solace, you exhaled contently and meandered along the sidewalk with no decipherable destination. 

Your phone buzzed in your pocket, your eyes lingered on a bypassing sign for just a moment longer before you untucked it from your pocket, noticing a message from Kylo.

Kylo:  
Saturday, 9:57pm.

Stay close by. 

You sighed and responded with a simple "okay," putting your phone back in your pocket. You knew he was worried about the dangers of the city, especially when you were a woman and you were all alone. Not to mention you had drifted towards the sketchier parts of town. 

The air shifted around you, the streets grew empty and it was suddenly mildly chilly, a harsh breeze nearly blowing you over and sending goosebumps up the flesh of your revealed legs, your floral skirt billowing from the wind. You held it down and snarled when you caught a scruffy looking pedestrian eyeing you with a look that made you uncomfortable.

"Hey little mamas," He shouted, pulling up his pants and limping towards you. You avoided any form of contact with him, keeping your head bowed low and trained on your feet. Just as you turned to head back to the apartment he shouted again, this time his voice was harsh.

"Don't ignore me, little slut!" He called out, you could hear him hurdling towards you and your speed walk turned into a frantic jog, your heart threatening to beat out of your chest. "Your ass looks so sexy in that skirt." 

Tears rimmed your eyelids, your clammy and trembling hands untucking your phone from your pocket. You could hardly concentrate on what you were doing, your breaths shaky as you dialed Kylo. He answered by the second ring. 

"Are-"

"There's some g-guy fucking chasing me r-right now," you blubbered, tears streaming down your cheek as you glanced over your shoulder and gasped as you noticed he was trailing right behind you. You picked up your pace and sprinted, nearly tripping over your own feet as everything snapped by in a blur. 

"I'm c-"

Your phone was ripped from your ear, slamming into the ground with a distinct shatter as a hand gripped your hip forcefully and slammed you into a brick wall. "You couldn't run forever," He rasped, leaning in to kiss you on the lips but you gathered a thick wad of spit and sent it straight into his face.

He winced and pulled away from you, clutching his cheek where you had spat and stumbling backwards. You sprinted past him, pumping your arms lazily at your sides as you zipped past empty stores and shops to escape him. He never let up, he made a greater effort to follow, and he tackled you to the ground with a pained grunt.

A piercing staticky sound flooded your hearing, your mind spinning and derailing as your head pounded into the concrete. You felt liquid seeping from your head, you couldn't see anything but a blob of light and colors, your body being pressed into the cement as you writhed and groaned. 

"Shit," He whisper shouted, his hand trailing between your thighs nevertheless. You attempted to kick him, knee him in the groin, anything, but you were completely helpless beneath him. Bruised and bloody, losing consciousness.

You lost all hope, swinging effortlessly at him only to miss every single shot. "Get t-the fffuck off of m-me," you slurred, your jaw was slack and it burned to open your mouth. You were losing blood by the second, through the distortion of your hazy gaze you titled your head to the side and watched the concrete be painted crimson. 

The man grunted and pinned your arm into your sticky fluids, the scent of iron flooding your nostrils as you recoiled and smeared your blood on your face with your hand. 

You heard the low hum of that familiar vehicle, you smiled, your teeth bloody and clenched as you allowed your head to fall back into your own liquid form of trauma. You seethed and whimpered, moaning in pain as your raw, thrashed scalp met the concrete again.

You heard a car door slam, your ears and vision both distorting unfeasibly more, tears streaming down your cheeks. You began to hear your dulling heartbeat in your ears, your eyes fluttering shut and your vision was fuzzy and dark.

"Get the fuck off-" You heard grunting, skin pounding into skin, fists slamming into jaws. Blood sputtered across the blurry scene unfolding and stained your face, you attempted to sit up only to be greeted by an overbearing ringing in your ears, your head falling limp. 

"I'm going to kill you," you heard Kylo roar, the spiteful threat was sincere and rumbled from the depths of his chest, his throat tearing and voice cracking in fury. You heard another slam, objects colliding into the ground around you. "I'm going to kill you, you fucking bastard." 

Your heard a metallic clank, and then a torn scream of anguish and defeat. You could hear Kylo grunting and heaving, metal bashing into flesh and choked cries of a lost bottle. 

"I- please, I," another slam of metal and a thunderous cry, "I didn't know she had a boyfriend! P-" You heard the sickening sound of bones crunching and another pathetic plea.

"You should respect all women, you pig." He snarled, and then you could make out the sound of gargling and sputtering, restricted breaths and coughs. "But you so fucking happened to choose mine. My girl. And you aren't going to live to see another second because of it."

His voice was foreign in that moment. You've heard him angry, you've heard him ultimately fed up; but this was entirely new. His demons had been unleashed, spreading chaos and destruction like a wildfire, chewing and devouring every ounce of life in his way and spitting it back out with untamable vexation. 

The sounds grew faint and tranquil, the sputtering narrowing down to occasional wheezes and chokes. The thumping in your head refused to minimize, even as the world slowed around you and allowed you a chance to recover.

A lifeless body tumbled to the ground, you caught it through your weary gaze as you fell limp into Kylo's arms. He cradled you gingerly, hushing and spewing comforting whispers that were nearly incoherent as consciousness began to flea and abandon you. 

"Ooo, oh, no, no. Fuck, baby you're bleeding everywhere," his voice cracked, hoarse and shaky with fear as his vulnerability carelessly bled through the cracks of his façade, "God, shit. No." He rambled continuously, placing you tenderly in the passenger seat and buckling you up. 

The next few minutes were unintelligible. He entered the car and sped down the road, foot slammed into the pedal and gassing the car up. His bloodied hand crawled over to yours, cradling it and rubbing your knuckles soothingly. 

His next action took you by surprise, even through your struggle to maintain liveliness. 

He broke down into a chain of sobs, sputtering nonsense as he held your hand affectionately and as if you would evaporate into nothingness if he let you go.

"I-I- are... baby?" He cut his stutters off by calling for you softly and you grumbled, humming as your hair matted around your face with drying blood. 

"Try to keep your eyes open for me." He squeezed your hand tightly and you nodded weakly, your eyes fluttering open. The intense lighting flashing by caused you to wince, sending an excruciating pain straight to your temple as your vision inked black and foggy, an unfamiliar darkness consuming you and tucking you under its wing.


	27. Calm before the Storm

A persistent electronic beep echoed through the depths of your mind. Your body fought off the urge to escape sleep, your senses slowly returning as the sound grew vibrant and louder. You heard muffled chatter eliciting from your left side, your body was freezing. Despite the chilliness, you were buzzing with a tingly warmth. Adrenaline.

Your eyes fluttered open, instantly snapping back shut when you were greeted with a blinding light hovering directly above your face. You squirmed beneath cotton sheets, noticing you were tucked in stiffly and your hands were placed tenderly in your lap. Refusing to unseal your eyes, trying to soothe the pounding in your head, you called out.

"K-Kylo?" Your voice was a cracked whisper, broken and meek, your throat burned, feeling as if a match had been lit to catch the walls of your throat aflame. 

You heard shuffling and the conversation had died abruptly, an eerie silence flooding the area as a machine whirred. You flinched as a cold hand circled your wrist, carefully holding it. You opened your eyes slowly, whimpering as the light caused your brain to scatter. You blinked a few times to adjust to the lighting, squinting, your eyes falling upon a nurse. 

"Where is Kylo?" You breathed nearly unintelligibly, your chest was tight and your heartbeat began to quicken as you reminisced on the occurrences from before you blacked out. 

Being attacked. Blood. Endless amounts of blood. Hearing Kylo fight and scream. 

The rest was too much for you to fathom, you refused to even believe it.

You shivered, a broken cry escaping your dry, cracked lips and a tear cascading down your cheek. Your eyes effortlessly darted around the room, searching for him in a panic, only for him to be nowhere. You couldn't remember a single event after you heard the man go lifeless. 

"Ma'am, please, take a deep breath." The nurse consoled, checking your pulse on your wrist and dropping your hand before she examined a clipboard. You sucked in a deep, shaky breath, exhaling. Your hands were clammy in your lap, your eyes were hooded as a sharp pain ricocheted through your head. You assumed you had a concussion. 

"Where is Kylo?" You repeated, slightly regaining strength in your voice. 

She sighed, tampering with a few items on a metal tray idly before she adjusted the sleeves of her scrubs and turned to face you. "He's down the hall getting some food. He had been sitting here all night and the doctor suggested he eat," she chuckled lightly, "he didn't want to leave you here alone. You can see him w-"

Before she could finish her words, you sat up forcefully, your vision grew stary and your head spinned as you massaged your temple with a grimace. The nurse gasped and gripped onto your shoulder, beginning to nudge you back down but you fought her off.

"Please lay back down," she begged, you thrashed and threw yourself off of the bed. You squeaked as your knees buckled and you fell face first into the floor. Luckily, you caught yourself with your hands this time. The nurse rounded the bed hurriedly and moved to gather you, holding onto both of your arms tightly and hoisting you up. 

She made a move to sit you back down on the bed and you swatted her away, "I'm fine." You insisted, raising your eyebrows at her. 

"You need to lay back down. You are suffering from a concussion." She demanded softly, trailing behind you as you wobbly stepped towards the door. 

You noticed you were stripped of your regular clothing and had been transmitted into a hospital gown, and you were in your bare feet. 

"I'm going to see him," you unintentionally spat aggressively and pushed the door open. 

Your gaze was stitched together, there was double of everything and it was all a jumble of nonsense. That was the effects of overdoing it when you are suffering from a concussion, but you couldn't bring yourself to care, you just wanted him.

You had to press yourself against the wall, holding it tightly and your legs trembling with every determined pat of your foot. You were breathless, your head felt ten times heavier and it fell limply. You rounded a corner, your steps slowed as you ran out of energy, and you nearly collapsed again when you saw Kylo.

He noticed you instantly, his face contorted in an unbelievable amount of fear and concern as he jogged to you, his hair bouncing with his marches as he secured the white bandages concealing his knuckles. 

"Hey, hey." He breathlessly reached out for you and cradled you to his chest, "baby, what are you doing? You're supposed to be in bed." He held the back of your neck gingerly to help you tilt your head and look at him, his voice was laced with surprise. 

You blinked slowly as a solemn smile pulled at your lips and you pressed your forehead into his chest, head bowed lowly. "Come on," he nudged you away gently, "let's get you back to bed." He gripped the backs of your thighs and carefully hoisted you up in his arms. You wrapped your legs around his torso and rested your cheek on his shoulder, arms dangled loosely behind his neck. 

He pressed a kiss to your shoulder and maneuvered through the halls, nodding to all of the hospital staff until he approached your room. He quietly clicked the door shut behind him, trudging past the nurse who stood there with her hands on her hips and eyes narrowed, and laid you tenderly in the bed. 

He hushed you softly as you whimpered from the aching on your scalp, covering you up with the sheets and pressing a pliant kiss to the tip of your nose, causing you to melt in his genuine affection. 

"May we be alone?" He asked the nurse, she hesitated before nodding and scrambling out wordlessly. 

He sat down in the nearest chair leisurely, his attentive gaze set on your current state as he scooted closer to you and interlocked his fingers with yours, his other hand rested on your thigh and stroked gently. 

Your eyebrows furrowed as you stared down at his hands, covered in bandages and cotton pads. You caressed his knuckles with your thumb and he barely twitched, his hand slightly recoiling. 

"What happened to your hands?" You frowned, shakily lifting one and pressing a kiss to his coveted knuckle. 

"We don't need to talk about it," he breathed urgently as the words left your mouth, his face twisted in regret before he softened his features and affectionately squeezed your hand harder, "I'm just glad that you're safe." 

He looked away shamefully, clenching his jaw and frowning visibly with himself as he hung his head down low and stared at the floor. You shifted in your current position, laying on your side to fully face him and keeping his hand near your mouth as you held it tightly.

"Kylo..." You trailed off once you noticed him blinking away tears, wiping his expression clean and meeting your gaze.

"Hm?" He hummed, leaning forward and resting his chin on the extra pillow next to your head, thumb learning the crevices of your hand as he fiddled with it. 

"What did you do?" You whispered, your voice was fragile and concerned.

He sucked in a noticeably harsh breath, his eyes never trailing away from yours, he squeezed your hand once again before he let it go and stood up from his seat. You watched in bewilderment before he pushed you to the side slightly, crawling into bed with you. He laid on his side and faced you, his hand resting on the curve of your hip and caressing tenderly as he met your worried gaze. 

"I just-" He swallowed harshly, blinking rapidly, "I saw you laying there. And I saw so much blood." He shuddered, scooting closer to you and nuzzling his face into the valley of your breasts, wrapping his arm around your waist and tugging you closer. "I didn't mean to." He croaked, and without an explanation you understood. 

You felt wetness at your collarbone and realized he had let a silent tear fall. You ran your fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp and whispering comforting, encouraging words to him as he pressed his face further into your chest and held onto you dearly. 

"Thank you." You whispered into his hair, inhaling the scent of his musky shampoo. 

"Don't thank me." He mumbled into your skin, placing soft kisses along the expanse of your chest, trailing up your jaw until he reached your lips. He gently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, cupping your cheek and caressing your cheekbone. 

His warm breaths crashed into your face as he flexed his jaw, his eyes darting around your face. You leaned in and pecked him on the lips. You sat there in silence for half an hour before you fell asleep in his arms.

~ 3 days later... ~

"Baby?" Kylo called from the kitchen, you heard shuffling around the opposite side of your bedroom door. 

You groaned and thrashed your legs beneath the sheets with a satisfying stretch, nuzzling further into the sheets and ignoring him. You heard his thunderous sigh and the creaking of the floorboards as he carefully pushed the door open and peaked his head inside. 

"Baby?" He whisper shouted, "are you awake?" His tone was hushed and soft as he tiptoed over to you in his black leather shoes, adjusting his matte black tie. You pretended to be fast asleep as a tiny grin tugged at your lips. 

His calloused thumb brushed your bottom lip, you opened your mouth and eyes all at once, sucking and bobbing your head into his thumb. He shuddered as you moaned around his thumb, staring up at him seductively.

You were sex deprived. Even though it had only been a few days... you needed him constantly. 

He released his thumb from your mouth with a wet plop, you circled his wrist before he could pull his hand away. "Please, stay home with me today." You yanked him closer and he slightly stumbled. "Get back in bed." You whined and held his hand to your cheek as he cupped it and sighed. 

"I wish I could stay in bed with you all day," He exclaimed as he bent over and pressed a kiss to your forehead, breaking free of your grasp and adjusting his cuffs. "But you know I have a class to teach." He cocked a brow at you and looked at you pointedly. 

You pouted, jutting out your bottom lip and clutching the blankets tighter to your frame and frantically turning away from him. He slapped your ass, the sheets hardly barricaded the stinging and you jolted forward. He snickered, the bed shifted behind your back as he pressed his palms into the mattress and loomed over you. 

His dark, raven waves fell and framed his face as he hovered above you, his head tilted with an innocent smile. He admired you for eternity; his eyes trailing along each feature of your exhausted face, gaze dancing along your lips. His smile deepened when you reached out your arm and feathered a hand through his hair, massaging his scalp.

He leaned into your touch, closing his eyes and licking his lips before he recollected himself and cleared his throat. "Get some rest for me." He urgently pecked your lips and shuffled away from the bed, gathering his leather bag off of the floor.

He lingered by the doorway for a moment, before he swung it open. "Call me if you need anything." He pointed at you and raised his brows. You nodded and he left the room wordlessly, quietly closing the door behind him. 

You rolled around the bed until you fell back into another deep slumber. You didn't have the mental capacity to determine how long you slept for, but you woke up to your phones ringer blaring and you sat up abruptly with a gasp. It took you a moment to process where the sound was coming from before you picked up the phone. It was an unknown caller, you answered anyways. 

"Hello?" 

Silence. Static for a moment, and then a deep breath.

A woman's voice spoke your name, "how are you doing?"

Recognition laid a harsh slap onto your face. It was his wife. Ex wife. You pursed your lips together to fight off a prude smirk.

"I'm recovering... why are you calling?"

She sighed. "I just heard about the accident and wanted to check on you." She paused suspiciously, letting out an obnoxious exhale, "and... Kylo hasn't been answering my calls."

"Oh. That's understandable, you are divorced." You dragged out your words to get the point across.

Silence. A silence that brought unease deep within your gut.

"Divorced?" She sounded genuinely bewildered. "It hasn't been finalized..." She trailed off, her tone laced with uncertainty. 

Your heart paused midbeat in your chest, you held your breath and stared blankly at the wall in front of you. "What?" You asked, before shaking your head rapidly, "you know what? Never mind. Have a nice day. Thanks for checking on me." You hung up without another word, aggressively slamming your phone into the bed. 

You were pissed, you shouldn't be, he had just saved your life and rented you this new apartment... but apart of you couldn't help but feel betrayed that he had lied to you. He had allowed you to feel giddy and excited over the fact he was an unmarried man. You gave him numerous opportunities to embrace his lies. 

You pondered in silence for awhile, before you finally chose to get up. Throwing yourself off of the bed, you wrapped your robe around your nude body and crossed your arms in front of your chest to warm yourself as you maneuvered around the unpacked boxes sitting on the floor. 

Making yourself a mug of hot chamomile tea, you glanced at the clock as you hummed to yourself and swayed from foot to foot. It read 3:32pm. You felt satisfied and refreshed after your nap, less content after the bright light flashing within your mind reminded you that Kylo would be back soon, and you had to confront his lies eventually. Deep down you wanted to pretend you had no idea, but you couldn't keep living a lie. 

You sighed, leaning against the counter as you occasionally sipped on your tea and stared out into space, daydreaming, until you decided upon taking a shower. Your baths and showers have been limited since the accident, unless Kylo was there to help you because your scalp was still raw and damaged, and you were determined to show him you could take care of yourself. 

You slipped off your robe, letting it tumble carelessly to the ground, as the water kicked on and allowed steam to emit around the tiles, swirling around the thick, heated air of the bathroom. You slid inside of the shower, sealing the foggy glass doors shut as the warm, tingling water burrowed into your skin and dripped down the expanse of your nude body.

You began with your body, leaving the painful part of washing your hair for last. You massaged your body wash into your skin roughly, hoping to scrub the lingering irritation you felt after revealing he had lied to you, only for it to be pointless. 

You heard that deep, husky voice shouting for you from the kitchen, even over the endless tapping of water colliding with the floor. Before you could respond the door squeaked open and he clicked his tongue. You could make out his tall, muscular silhouette through the sliding glass doors moving closer to you. 

"What are you doing?" He asked. You heard scuffling fabric and popped your head out of the glass door to spot him stripping. His shoes had already been removed, his shirt unbuttoned and revealing his toned torso, glistening with sweat as he shrugged it off and to the floor. He caught you staring and your cheeks were painted crimson as you popped your head back into the shower.

"Showering." You answered blankly, wetting your hair and flinching as the hot water singed your scalp. 

He slipped inside the shower, reaching his arm above your head and dipping his hand in the water to test the temperature. His eyebrows furrowed and he dropped his hand to your scalp, tenderly massaging the wound and pulling your head to his chest, your forehead pressed into his peck. 

"The water is way too hot. You're going to reopen the wound." He breathed disappointedly, gingerly tracing the stitches in the back of your head. You always took scorching hot showers, it was just a routine.

"Mhmm." You hummed and pulled away from his chest, he eyed you suspiciously, gaze darting up your frame before it rested on your face with concern.

"Is something wrong?" He asked cautiously, continuously caressing your head.

You shrugged, swatting his hand away and tilting your head back into the water, whimpering as the heat of it stung your wound. Before you could even process his next movement, he clutched your throat, his fingertips applying pressure and his palm laying gently against your neck as he spun you and pinned you back first into the wall, his movement was swift but tender, careful not to harm your head. 

He pressed into you, his length grazing your thigh as his entire body pinned you into the wall. You tilted your chin up to meet his gaze, his eyes were consuming every intent of tiny gasps fleeing your lips, inhaling the scent of your simple submission. 

"Tell me," he brought his other hand up to your face and softly booped your nose with his finger, leaning in close to your face, his breaths wafting against you, "what's bothering you, little one?" 

You shuddered, your entire body was tingling with lust and desire except for your brain, which was screaming at you to confront the constant lies he was feeding you. Your heart won the inner conflict and you stood on your tiptoes as your lips crashed into his. 

His hand abandoned your throat, allowing you the comfort of sharp inhales through your nose as your lips fervently met, both of his bulky biceps pressed into the side of your head as he grinds into you, his hard length pressing into your clit and you moaned into his mouth as his tongue swiped along your bottom lip, begging for access inside of your mouth. 

Your lips parted and his tongue slipped inside, exchanging spit, tongues clashing and battling for ascendancy, lips smacking and colliding constantly. He groaned into your mouth, your jaw was slack and sore from the force of the kiss. 

Wordlessly, his hands gripped the back of your thighs and hoisted you up, you instinctively wrapped your legs around his torso. Without warning he slipped inside of you and you released a cracked, wanton moan, feeling him push through your core and expand your walls, needy breaths escaping your lips.

He instantly pounded you into oblivion; giving you less than a second to adjust to his rabid, animalistic thrusts. Wet skin smacking into wet skin. His pulsing cock impaling you and ravaging you until you were limp. His plump lips placing sloppy and passionate kisses along your jaw. His hands cupping and massaging your breasts as they bounced up and down with each powerful thrust he made into your gut and stroke your cervix. 

"Daddy, faster, please." You moaned breathlessly, wet slapping skin nearly drowning out your needy voice. 

"Anything for you, baby." He groaned through gritted teeth, his skin glistening with sweat as steam blurred your vision, his cheeks flushed red from the immense heat radiating between your burning bodies. 

He pounded into you even harder, your insides were anguished as you felt him poke your belly and you tilted your head back, mouth propped open in pleasure as soft gasps and moans passed through your parted lips. One of his hands abandoned your breasts, slithering down your slick body and finding your clit. 

"Moan louder for me." He roared and rubbed furious, desirable circles into your clit, your entire body tensed and you bucked your hips into him, toes curling behind his back as you felt a lustful sweat break along your skin. You arched your back and pressed further into him, body rocking and tits bouncing with each of his movements as you moaned erotically. 

"I thought I told you to moan louder." He yanked your hair to the side and your neck cracked as you cried out, releasing a blissful scream. "Yes, yes," he ravished deep into your core, "Scream for me." He demanded, and you did just that, your eyes struggled to remain on his heaving, pink frame as he bent forward and suckled your nipple in his mouth.

Ecstasy flowed through you, coursed through your veins and sent a euphoric bliss into your chest as you felt yourself coming undone, teetering towards the edge as his fingers pinched and rubbed your clit with determination. 

"Oh my- fuck, daddy I need to cum." You screamed lewdly, your pathetic and desperate voice echoing through the bathroom. He growled into your breast, nagging your nipple with his teeth and then passionately suckling on your throat. 

"Cum." He growled lowly into your skin, his lips sealing around your skin and sending shivers down your spine as you convulsed and cried out in ecstasy, your entire body went tense as you clenched around his cock and came so hard, you lost yourself completely, nails digging into his back, your own wanton moans being distorted by the euphoric daze you had been captured by.

Your head fell forward limply and your forehead stuck to his shoulder as he continued demolishing your insides with his cock, grunting and sputtering as he twitched inside of you and moaned deeply as he came inside of you, his lips parted and his forehead pressed into the wall next to you, his breathless sounds of pleasure entering your ear as he sealed his lips around your earlobe and suckled as each of you came back down from your climaxes. 

You spewed nonsense, he snickered as you slurred and mumbled a jumble of praises about how good the sex was, considering the fact you hadn't fucked since before the incident because he was afraid of hurting you. 

You had no idea what you were even angry about beforehand, all you could focus on was the subtle feeling of his cock softening and slipping out of you and your warm, mingled cum dripping down your thighs, being washed away and decayed into nothingness by the water which had significantly cooled down. 

"What were you upset about again?" He asked curiously, cupping both sides of your head and tilting your head under the water, silently washing your hair for you. 

"...I don't know." You responded sheepishly, blushing. It was embarrassing that he could simply leave you mindless after one round.

"Hm." He lathered the soap in your hair, working his magic with his hands; how he washed your hair tenderly and managed to not cause an ounce of pain? You had no clue. 

You slowly came to, suddenly reminiscing on the phone call you had shared with his wife, your entire body tensed and you sucked in a harsh breath as he raked his fingers through your hair to rinse out all of the soap. 

He stooped down to kiss you on the lips but you dodged him, his lips kissing the side of your mouth instead and he frowned, gripping both of your forearms gently.

"What is it?" He asked. 

You sighed, avoiding his gaze and staring down at your toes. "Your wife called me today..." You trailed off, humming, "asked me how I was doing." You dragged on. He stared at you blankly, completely clueless, silently waiting for you to continue.

"Oh, yeah. I failed to mention that she told me about your little secret. You aren't fucking divorced!" You spat suggestively, aggressively jabbing his chest with your pointer finger, "why would you lie to me about that?" 

He looked taken aback by your words, blinking in bewilderment. You continued to babble on when he hushed you forcefully and slammed his finger into your lips, you snapped your mouth shut instantly and stared up at him with wide eyes. 

"What the hell are you talking about?" He scoffed in disbelief, eyebrows furrowed and cocking his head backwards, "Yes, we are." 

You blinked at him for a moment with wide, shocked eyes, he steadied his breathing and leisurely removed his finger from your lips.

"Were you really going to fucking believe her over me?" He took an offended step back, his face contorted in defense as he pulled you closer to him, cupping your cheek and eyeing you with a pleading expression. "She's a manipulator. That's what she does, baby. That's what she'll always do." He rasped, "I can't have this. Do not talk to her again. We can't trust her." 

You were speechless, a small sense of guilt overtaking your senses. You let her words get to you before you even considered his side of the story. It was unlike you, but as he explained, it's because she was manipulative.

You nodded, "I'm sorry..." You reached out and gripped onto his chin, scratching his stubble that he has been growing out. "I was just overwhelmed. I didn't really t-"

He pecked your lips to shut you up, reaching behind you and shutting off the water. He helped you dry off, doing the same for himself. He scooped you up and tossed you over his shoulder and you squeaked, giggling and lightly kicking your legs as he held you with one arm and marched out of the bathroom, straight into your room. 

He placed you down on the floor carefully, steadying you before he let go. "Get dressed. Let's go get something to eat."


	28. Innocently Guilty

A thunderous knock. Vicious and unsettling, accumulating from the front door. It was enough to startle you awake, you jolted and gasped as you clasped onto the sheets tightly and sprung up from your comfortable position, eyeing around the room.

Kylo slept soundly directly next to you, his raven locks framing his face as he stirred and sucked in a deep breath. You brushed his hair out of his forehead gingerly just as you heard another knock, nearly powerful enough to bust your door down.

His eyes snapped open, squinting to adjust to the morning sun glistening through the thin sheers draped across your window. "I'll get it," you whispered softly, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek and he grumbled incoherent words as he nuzzled back into the pillow.

You scooped up your robe from off of the floor, hurriedly hugging it to your body and tying it securely as you slipped on your slippers and scurried out of the bedroom, sprinting for the door. Not bothering to check the peephole, you swung the door open and froze, eyes widened.

Two police officers huddled near your door, hands in there pockets and there demeanor the opposite of friendly. Your eyebrows furrowed in bewilderment as you crossed your arms in front of your chest protectively.

"Good morning, ma'am." One officer nodded with an insincere smile, tilting his cap. 

"Morning..." You eye each of them suspiciously, "can I help you with something?" You scratched the back of your tousled hair, yawning. Unease pooled deeply in your stomach, your gut wrenching and the sudden urge to vomit washing over you as they exchanged glances with one another.

"Kylo Ren. We know you two are... close." The officer took a step closer, rubbing his jaw vigorously, "does he happen to be here?"

Suddenly, you were aware the nausea you were feeling wasn't just from the uncertainty and anxiety; you were actually going to be sick. You gagged and clutched your stomach as you twirled around and sprinted to the kitchen sink. You wretched, dry heaving, holding your own hair behind your head as you released the bile from your stomach.

You heard the bedroom door squeak open, the floorboards creaking and shuffling of socks. "Baby, are you-" You peered up at him as you rinsed your mouth with water, he stopped abruptly in the center of the hall, his face showed no sign of fear as he stared at the officers with concern. 

"Oh... good morning, officers." He greeted them with a curt nod, his eyebrows pressed in a hardline as he crossed his arms in front of his chest defensively and rolled his shoulders, slowly stepping closer to them. 

He glanced between you— hovering above the sink, clasping the counter for support as your face twitched in disgust with yourself— and the officers, studying every movement either of you made thoroughly. 

One of the officers stepped inside of your apartment uninvited and approached Kylo, attempting to widen his stance and appear intimidating, but he was shorter and scrawnier than him. He got into his face, too close for comfort and he recoiled his head backwards, staring at the officer with distaste and confusion.

"Kylo Ren." The officer retorted his name smugly, circling him with his hands in his pockets, eyes darting up and down his frame; which was concealed by a thick pair of black sweatpants, shirtless. "I'd hate to break up this little get together of yours, but you'll need to come with me."

You gasped audibly, using your forearm to wipe your mouth clean as the other officer stepped inside. You wobbly rounded the corner, trudging towards Kylo with your eyebrows knitted together in disbelief, only for the other officer to stand in front of you and barricade you from approaching him while the other officer released his handcuffs.

"What are you doing to him? What's going on?" You called frantically, standing on your tiptoes to peak over the cops shoulder as he held out his hands to keep you still. 

Kylo wordlessly clasped his hands together behind his back, his chest heaving with each breath and the muscles twitching and flexing in his back. 

"What the fuck are you doing to him?" You cried desperately, tears stinging your eyes. The cop shoved you backwards as you moved closer and you instinctively shoved him back, resulting in him pinning your arms behind your back forcefully and you shrieked as he roughly yanked you.

Kylo snapped his neck to face you and his face flashed with fury, rage bubbling at the surface of his tense features, "Get your hands off of her!" He barked, spit flying past his lips as the officer gripped his wrists and he thrashed arduously against him, effortlessly fighting to reach you.

"Do not resist restraint! Anything you say or do can and will be used against you." The cop binding him together bellowed, kicking him forward and pressing a boot into his lower back, pinning him down on the coffee table.

"Get off of him! Stop!" You screamed, tears spilling down your cheeks as you kicked and thrashed in the officers grip, attempting to elbow him only for it to be useless. You wiggled and fought, causing the officer to tighten his grip and twist your arm in inhumane ways and you hissed in pain.

Kylo went ballistic then; his neck craned and shoved against the coffee table, his gaze locked on yours, predatory and feral as he breathed through gritted teeth, "Don't you dare fucking hurt her!" He roared, his voice dripping with malice and venom, he continued resisting the officers hold with pained grunts. 

The cop pinning him down huffed impatiently, visibly struggling to maintain his stability as he failed each attempt to lock him in cuffs. After another moment of his restless writhing, the cop grunted and kicked him with all of his might, eliciting a cracked groan from Kylo and you snapped.

You mercilessly chomped down on the officers arm, latching on until he screamed in pain and let go of you, dropping you carelessly to the floor as the taste of iron flooded your taste buds. You scrambled to your feet breathlessly, scurrying towards him with open arms, tears burrowing into your cheeks.

"Please, stop, your hurting him." You frantically pleaded with the officer and he glimpsed you, then nudged you away powerfully with his elbow and you squeaked, colliding into the floor. Your head slammed into the ground again, the wound noticeably reopening and everything around you becoming blurry and unobtainable.

You felt yourself being pinned down, stomach flush with the hardwoods floors, wrists being held down by the sides of your head as everything moved in slow motion, your ears ringing with an intensifying buzz. You heard muffled shouting, Kylo's voice, laced with pure panic and fright as the cop finally managed to cuff him and began dragging him towards the door.

"She's bleeding! Please, let go of her! Help her!" His scream was muffled, his deep, raspy morning voice croaking as he dropped his body weight and the cop failed to lift him any further. He called for back up, chanting into the walkie talkie attached to his shoulder pad. 

He inched towards you, using his legs for power as he shimmied closer to you, sliding across the floor. The cop caught him and reeled him backwards before he got close enough. Your vision was gray and hazy, as it was the night you received the wound to begin with. You heard a sucker punch being thrown, and you heard Kylo groan irrationally, choking. 

"Please don't hurt him," you sobbed, tears stained your cheeks and stuck your face to the flooring, matting your hair all around as you bawled and wailed. 

"Just take me, just take me and leave her out of this." He demanded breathlessly, you heard him being dragged across the floor, his staggering breaths were close enough for you to hear. "Baby, it's gonna be okay." His voice softened to the best of his capabilities, "It's alright." He cooed reassuringly as the officer dispersed himself from you and instead aided the other cop in dragging Kylo nearer to the exit. 

"Don't take time away, he didn't do anything, please." You begged hopelessly, hiccuping and your breath hitching in your throat as you pushed yourself up with your hands, dizzily you clutched your bleeding scalp and followed them outside as they carried him towards the elevator.

"Miss, please just get back in your apartment before we arrest you too for assault against an officer." The one you attacked breathed in exasperation, you shook your head no frantically, preparing to speak when Kylo seethed in pain, blood trickling down his nose form the force of the previous punch.

"I'll be okay, I promise." He blubbered, his head limply dangling. He lazily nodded towards your apartment, "please just go inside." 

You hesitated, incapable of seeing through the haze of tears blurring your vision, snot dripping down your nose as you sniffled and sputtered nonsense while they carried him away, rounding a corner and leaving you alone.

~

Nearly toppling over the rug placed lazily in front of the threshold, you shoved the glass doors to the police station open with determination in your steps. Although you still adorned your robe and slippers, your demeanor was furious and hopefully intimidating. 

You meandered past the waiting room, at maximum occupancy, people crying or restlessly crammed into seats and awaiting any form of excellent news that their loved ones would be disposed of jail and be able to return home.

You speed walked towards the receptionist desk, slamming the bell impatiently, tapping your foot in anticipation. A man appeared from the dimly lit supply closet from behind the desk, combing his mustache out with his fingers and raising his eyebrows at you.

"I'm here to see somebody. Kylo Ren." You rambled swiftly, clasping your hands in front of your torso and bouncing on your heels with inclination as he stared at you judgmentally. You tugged your phone out from your purse, swiping through your camera roll until you found a photo of him snuggling with you on the couch, fast asleep in your arms. You showed the man, expecting him to say anything, only for him to shrug. 

"He isn't allow to have visitors right now." He grumbled as he typed into the computer. 

"Bullshit," you huffed, shifting all of your weight to one foot and placing your hands on your hips expectantly. "Take me to him. Please." 

He stared at you bluntly, reluctant to your demand. You pouted and sighed, "Please, I need to see him." You begged, your bottom lip quivering as you clasped your hands together in front of your chest and made the biggest puppy dog eyes.

"That shit doesn't work on me, kid." He planted himself in his spinning chair, taking a noisy bite of an apple and holding it lazily in his grip. "But if you were to just so happen and sneak past me, take a right down the hall until you reached temporary cell number 13, I would keep my mouth shut." He suggestively drawled out his words and you smiled, mouthing your grateful appreciativeness as you scurried down the hall.

The durasteel walls were molded, decaying, rustic and chipping. Chunks of chipped paint crunches beneath your feet as you shuffled through the hall, the concrete beneath you was sending a thick cloud of dust into the air every time you dragged your feet. 

Cell 11 came into view and you hurried your pace, practically skipping until you reached 13. Through the dimly lit hallway and the mere amount of light cascading through the prison barred windows, you could despiser the hunched silhouette of Kylo; elbows pressed into his thighs, cradling his head in his hands.

"Kylo?" You whisper shouted, he jolted and snapped his gaze to meet yours, narrowing his eyes to adjust his sight. 

He abruptly stood up forcefully and hustled through his temporary cell, reaching the bars barricading him away from you. You reached your hands inside, interlocking his fingers with yours. He squeezed tightly, wordlessly grateful for your appearance. You leaned your head against the bars and he pressed his forehead to yours.

One of his hands abandoned yours and cupped your cheek, caressing the skin gingerly and tucking a strand piece of hair behind your ear, he smiled sadly and leaned in closely to your ear, gripping your head and tugging it closer to his mouth.

"They know what I did," he whispered, his voice broken with defeat as he pulled away from your face and grazed your cheekbone with his thumb. "What I did to that man..." 

You started hyperventilating, shakily squeezing his hand tighter with your clammy one, tears welling up in your eyes again, "b-but it was self defense. They can't do this to you," you blubbered as he brushed your tears away with a dull sigh. 

"They will," he dragged out the words pointedly, "because that's how this works. The system is so corrupt." He hung his head down low, his throat bobbing with the effort of his swallow. 

You glanced around the empty, eerily silent halls before leaning in closely. "Kylo... you can't go to prison for this. For murder," you kept your tone hushed and glanced around again, "I'm not letting you. Please, no." You frantically shook your head, a choked sob eliciting from your throat as tears streamed down your cheeks. He continued pressing his forehead to yours and wrapped his arms around the bars, encompassing your body and rubbing your back. 

"I'm sorry." You sputtered, sliding your hands up his chest, looping around his neck and feathering a hand through his hair, he sighed contently and his eyes fluttered shut. 

"There's still a chance that I will get out. They haven't spoken with me yet," He released his arms from your body and began pacing around the cell, biting his knuckle and pondering visibly, "It will be fine. We will be fine." He paused mid-movement and turned to face you, coming back to you and grabbing your hands again. 

You leaned in and squished your face through the bars and pressed a pliant kiss to his lips. You heard muffled chatter and laughs coming from down the hall and Kylo sucked in a harsh breath, bringing one of your hands to his lips and kissing each of your knuckles softly.

"You should get out of here." He instructed with a deepened frown, eyes darting behind you. You shook your head no, your lips quivering and your eyebrows furrowed as you continued crying. "Please, baby. I'll be fine. I don't want you seeing all of this, you've already seen enough." 

You took a few steps back, still holding his hand tightly before you dropped it limply, he tried to smile reassuringly and rested his forearm on the bar, leaning forward and watching as you stood there contemplating.

"I love you," you whispered, using the back of your hand to wipe your tears away. 

He nodded curtly, "I love you. Now go." He cocked his head towards the exit, you shuddered, using every ounce of strength you could muster to turn away from him and march down the hallway.

As you rounded a corner, you heard shouting coming from behind you and crashing objects, you clasped your mouth and sobbed, refraining yourself from turning around and sprinting away from the cells.


	29. A Cold Bed

3 months later...

You've spent the past torturously long three months in solitude, in a heavy lonesome. Each ticking moment that typically passed by in a blink of an eye tended to take years to pass. Each day felt longer and burdening, last week felt lightyears away from the next. Cooped up in isolation, only leaving your now grimy and unclean apartment to attend class. 

This entire situation was unfathomable, and even though you had over ninety days to grow accustomed to the emptiness, the crisp coldness of his side of the bed; you caught yourself reminiscing on his warm, comforting touch, easily capable of sending you into a solace and tranquil oblivion. Missing him was an understatement for this unbearable predicament. 

Not proven innocent nor guilty, he was left rotting in the local jail, anticipating the moment he would either be freed or imprisoned permanently. He plastered on this nearly convincing façade of strength every time you were permitted to visit him, and the longer he was held strictly behind bars, the more stern and restrictive they became about your visiting hours.

It started off with daily visits; morning and night, occasionally lunch on the weekends, you would visit him and sneak him in a pastry from a nearby coffee shop. For the past few months, he's grown to adore listening to you babble, ramble endlessly about your day. It was a sensible distraction from the anxiety he surely felt constantly. He audibly insisted that your presence eased him, soothed him, a gentle reminder that he had something to return to once this treachery ended. 

You strayed away from visiting him regularly. Not intentionally, by force and the overwhelming stress of midterms arising. The inhospitality the station had offered you was ruthless; they minimized your visits to weekly, you were only allowed a one hour visit per week. Which although it wasn't conventional, and you despised the notion he sat there alone, in a cool and damp cell formulating his future bead by bead on a thin strand of thread, this separation from him opened your eyes to the inevitable truth. 

You were helpless without him. The truth was a keen blade, sharp and mesmerizing, slicing your dignity into a sliver of hopeless desire. An untamable desire just to have him back, holding your hand or cradling you gingerly through the night. You cherished all of your foregoing moments dearly, sulking in the regret of taking all of those endearing times together for granted, not knowing that you would lay restless at night, fretting the unavoidable and fearsome of what he was doing in that exact moment. 

Would he be curled in a ball sleeping in a rusty, intolerably stiff cot, snoozing his apprehension away? Would he be pacing the cement floors, stroking his beard in deep concentration with a headache inducing lack of rest? Those mere and insufferable possibilities kept you up at night, tossing and turning, crying silently into his pillow and inhaling the scent of him that faintly lingered, fading away by the passing days of his appending case. You were still clueless, the department made sure to keep you in the dark on the subject.

Focusing on your exams was nearly infeasible with the whirlpool of endless gut wrenching stress. Not to mention you have pushed all of your friends away and shut them out of your life completely, leaving them perplexed and concerned; even Poe. He occasionally messaged, called, and made idle conversation with you at school, but other than that he succeeded in maintaining a distance from you and offering you breathable space. 

Sprawled out on your living room floor, legs spread widely with papers crammed in between, shoulders hunched forward lazily, you groaned obnoxiously and rubbed your face vigorously as you slammed your biology textbook shut. 

You glimpsed the digital clock hovering abound your flatscreen, sighing deeply when the time read 4:13am. It was a school night and you had less than three hours before your alarm would set off anyways. You decided upon resuming your studying after a coffee break.

You were a disaster, anybody could notice that by the sheer sight of you. Taking care of yourself through the grief you felt took way more effort now than it should've. You ate irregularly, barricaded and quarantined yourself from the outside world entirely, and you hardly slept a wink each and every night. 

The purple, puffy bags under your eyes withhold your unhappiness plainly. Your constantly tousled and untamed locks showcased the act of laziness, each knot representing your self negligence. There was something on your body to depict all of the emotions you were feeling, whether it be a bruise from stumbling to the floor in a chain of sobs or just the dullness flooding your cheeks. 

After working through your notes and rereading paragraphs to yourself internally to assure yourself you adapted enough information to be satisfied, you stretched and your back cracked as you stood up. You wobbled a bit, your legs were numb and tingly, exhausted from being twisted in the same position for the past five hours. 

You trudged over to your backpack which had been leaning against the leg of the dining room table, carelessly shoving all of your materials inside and zipping it up securely. Glancing at the clock for the second time— it read 5:58am, you used your knuckles to rub the sleepiness out of your eyes with a yawn— planning to just start your morning routine early, even though recently you've just been rolling out of bed and pulling on a pair of sweats. 

A refreshing shower, steam fogging up the glass as the tingling hot water softly collided with your skin and soothed the cold, aching twinging in your stiff muscles, was much needed and helped you to relax merely. Clutching a towel tightly around your frame, you pattered out of the bathroom, trailing behind wet footprints as you slipped inside of your bedroom. 

A t-shirt and sweats sufficed for today, as it had for every other day nowadays, and as you pulled your shirt over your head you caught glimpse of the picture frame resting upon your nightstand; plastering a photo you had taken of the two of you together, displaying the affection vibrantly. Even through the sheer glass, the love radiating off of the photo was palpable. You smiled sadly and maneuvered through the piles of dirty clothes on your floor, clutching the frame and cradling it to your chest.

You swayed from side to side, hugging the photo to your heart and sighing, removing it from your body, eyes darting around the picture as you subconsciously grazed his face with your thumb. He adorned a deep smile, his dimples making an appearance, while you pecked the side of his cheek. 

You vividly relived the memory, reminiscing on the way he chuckled sincerely and his cheeks were painted a light pink while you serenaded him with your horrendous singing voice. He loved it regardless, encouraging you and watching you so attentively, his auburn-speckled eyes consuming your goofiness with pure admiration. You longed for his genuine throaty laugh, not the forced one he mustered to dispose of his dejection whenever you visited his cell.

A tear mingled with the water droplets dripping from your soaked air, you sniffled and used your damp forearm to wipe it away. You gently placed the frame back on your nightstand, readying yourself further until it was time for you to drive to school.

The clock became your safe haven, through the tedious lectures and repetitive speeches in all of your classes, preparing you last minute for the upcoming exams, you zoned out entirely, eyes dancing around the hands of the clock until they stroke at a certain time and triggered the bell to ring. 

You kept your head hung low, gaze settled on your feet to avoid interaction with any of your peers. You didn't have the mental capacity to talk with anybody right now, each conversation you found yourself having left you drained in the end. 

Depression felt like an inescapable chamber of death, a flaming pit of suffering.

Beginning towards your car, a masculine voice shouted your name from a distance and your first instinct was to ignore it, slipping into the car and throwing your bag into the passenger seat. The voice shouted again and with squinted eyes you peer up through the windshield, Finn jogged in your directly breathlessly.

You sighed through your nose, lips pursed and face contorted in irritation as you rolled down the window. You feathered a hand through your messy ponytail, propping up your elbow and holding your face in exasperation. You just wanted to go home. You were on the verge of passing out from the substantial amount of sleep you were lacking, your head was pounding and your stomach was growling and twisting from the lack of food you've consumed. 

"Yes, Finn?" You breathed impatiently when you heard him approach the window, palm pressed into your eyes. The sun was blinding anyways, furthering your headache. 

"Hey... Look, I know you aren't feeling well right now," he began, you removed your hand from your eyes and stared up at him with your eyebrows knitted together, "anyways, I just wanted to say thank you for introducing me to Poe," you blinked at him a few times as he spoke with genuine gratefulness, trying to recollect what he was referring to.

You pondered and failed to remember ever setting them up, but you shrugged it off carelessly and smiled falsely. Your lips twitched and quivered at the sudden movement, you haven't smiled recently unless it was on one of your visitation days. 

"No problem." You answered dryly, waving at him with a slight nod and rolling up the window. You were aware of how inconsiderate you were being, how you acted childish and whined and allowed yourself to sulk. You just couldn't bring yourself to feel guilty for anything other than Kylo. It was as if your sincerity for everybody else had dimmed out. 

You waved at him lightly, hoping to slightly mend the broken conversation he had just attempted to hold with you as you backed out of your parking spot and flew down the street. Your eyes fluttered shut a few times behind the wheel, you would swerve a tad and jolt awake at the sound of a car horn. 

Speeding into your apartment complex, you locked your car and dashed towards the main entrance. Even though it caused your head to thud harder, you did anything you could to reach your bed swifter. You fumbled with your keys, clasping onto your apartment key as you stumbled around the hallway and approached your door. 

You pressed a palm into the wall beside the threshold to keep yourself steady as you turned the key and shoved the door open. You froze and eyed your apartment utterly baffled. You wearily stepped inside and glanced around the now spotless, clean surroundings. You had left it filled to the brim with trash, dirty clothes, dishes, the works, and now it was all replaced by glistening surfaces and a fresh linen scent. 

"Hello?" You called out, your voice was soft and meek, slightly croaky from the rawness in your throat. You cautiously sealed the door shut behind you, craning your neck to peer down the hallway and gripping the wall to stabilize yourself as you slipped off your shoes.

You abruptly heard the floor boards creak, eliciting from the end of the hall, your bedroom. You recoiled and gasped, stumbling backwards into the door, expecting an unfriendly intruder ransacking your belongings.

The door squeaked open and you braced yourself for an attack, heart pounding uncontrollably in your chest, only for the sight you were greeted with to sprout happiness within your chest.

Kylo. 

He had already peeled out of his soiled clothing from the jail, he adorned his black sweats and a tight fitting t-shirt. His hair was scruffy and untamed, exactly as you preferred it, his stubble had grown into a manly beard and mustache. 

Without an ounce of hesitation you sprinted down the hall, jumping into his arms. He grunted and stumbled in surprise with a raspy chuckle, arms encircling your waist tightly as your legs wrapped around his torso and you nuzzled your face into his neck and he mimicked your action. You inhaled the musky, pine scent of him and stifled tears of joy. 

He swayed you from side to side, humming contently into your neck and pressing a pliant kiss to the skin, "I missed you so much." He mumbled into you, his breath warm and labored and you pulled your face away from his neck, cupping his cheeks firmly and peppering his face in kisses. His forehead, cheeks, nose, chin, the entire expanse of his beautiful face that you've missed with a burdening ache. 

"You're out," you breathed in disbelief, relief, he tucked a wild piece of hair behind your ear as you leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his plump lips. Your mouth tingled, warm and satisfied from the sensation and you hummed into his lips and he smiled. "Does this mean everything is okay?" You asked, eyebrows furrowed while you traced his jaw and scratched his beard. 

Standing there in the center of the hallway, cradling you tightly in his arms, he sighed contently and pressed his forehead into yours. His gaze was soft and consoled, darting between both of your eyes from mere inches away as he nodded against you, one of his hands abandoning your waist and cupping your cheek, caressing your cheekbone like how you always loved. You had been deprived of his touch for way too long, his calloused palm sent shivers through you and you nuzzled your cheek into his hand.

"Everything is fine now," he assured, swallowing thickly and clutching you tighter to his chest, your hearts pressed together and pounding in-sync. "It's fine now that i'm here with you." 

You chuckled softly, hands wrapped around his neck and you glanced over your shoulder at the cleanliness laying before you. "You cleaned for me?" You chirped, smiling teasingly and he nodded with a taunting smirk, "somebody had to." You both laughed together, the sound was a melody to your ears.

After a few moments of comfortable silence he pivoted around towards your bedroom door, nudging it open with his knee as he held you firmly. He sank down into your bed, placing you down on your back before he crawled directly beside you. He caressed your cheek with his knuckles tenderly, breathing through parted lips as he watched your eyes flutter shut and back open.

You wished to remain awake to enjoy the moment of your long awaited reunion, his ginger touch and the unavoidable throbbing in your head making it nearly infeasible to keep your eyes opened. 

"I wish you would've taken better care of yourself without me here," he mumbled, lifting his chin and resting it on your head, tugging you towards him as his arm wrapped around your waist. Concern laced his voice and strengthened his hold on you, the embrace was warm and afraid; terrified to let you go in fear of losing you. 

You pressed your face into his chest, huddling into the comfort and refuge his bulky arms offered you. You shrugged off your pants without opening your eyes, sputtering nonsense and he chuckled nearly silently, his chest rattling against your face as he mimicked your action and kicked his own sweats off, leaving you both in your underwear.

Your legs intertwined as he stroked your hair gently with his fingers, you hummed softly and slipped your hand under his cotton shirt, using your fingertip to trace the crevices of his toned abdomen lightly, a ghostly brush of skin on skin and he exhaled into your hair, sending strands blowing in your face. 

"I haven't slept for so long." You said through a smile that he couldn't see, but he could surely feel. You continuously trailed your fingers along his stomach as he threaded his fingers through your hair and he hummed in agreement.

"Me neither." He breathed disappointedly, "Me neither." He whispered nearly incoherently, as your body heat mingled into one, both of you morphed together and tightly packed to the point you created one person. 

There was silence and you were teetering on the edge of consciousness just when he whispered, "why haven't you been sleeping, baby?" His voice was drained and exhausted, with a hint of raspiness. 

"Because I didn't have this," you snorted softly into his chest, "I didn't have you." You corrected and trailed your hand up his stomach, wrapping it around his torso instead. "I never want to sleep in a cold bed again." 

He inhaled sharply, his hand slithering down your head, the back of your neck, until his fingers skimmed past the collar of your shirt, brushing and dancing along your bare back softly and shivers crawled up your spine, goosebumps surfacing on your skin. 

"And I will never let you sleep in one again." 

Everything that needed to be said had been spoken, at least for the given movement, because whatever words that needed to be exchanged were less important than the sleep the two of you needed to catch up on together. 

You lulled each other to sleep with the harmless satisfaction of being fortunate enough to embrace each other, touch each other, hold one another again. The missing chunk of those three months you spent apart felt like they've been stitched and patched back together now that he was home. It almost felt like he was never even gone to begin with. 

And now that he was safely released from the departments custody, and you've both undergone the torture and torment of being separated from each other, you noted how your relationship had blossomed into true love, sprouting from teacher-student lust. 

Here you were wrapped in his veiny,  
muscular arms, with one thought spiraling through your dreams. You wanted him to move in to your apartment with you officially, even though he technically lived here already considering he was living in a hotel before all of this happened. 

For the first time in forever, the only thing you felt was happiness.


	30. Love lacks Sanity

"We're glad to have you back," Poe chuckled, side hugging Finn who plastered on a wide, toothy grin, taking a sip of his beer. 

Guilty that you were selfishly sulking and missing out on the sprouting of their fresh, romantic relationship, you unwillingly accepted there offer of drinking a few beers and hanging out at Poe's place; his parents had skipped town, leaving his ranch-style home vacant and prepped to be filled with some harmless fun. 

You were having minimal separation anxiety, after Kylo returned you spent every day side by side, showering, cooking, running errands together, he even began driving you to school regularly now. Careful not to get caught, he would always park discreetly behind the building and you would enter separate entrances and meet back with each other inside, where you would have rough morning sex in his classroom until the bell rung to indicate the start of a brand new day. 

The school offered him a lease type of deal, they would allow him to continue his teachings at the school until the year had concluded, and from there he would have to seek out a new career. They couldn't have a man with criminal charges as appalling as 'suspect of manslaughter' teaching a photography class. He was lucky enough they were keeping him around, even though they split his pay in half.

"You're being awfully quiet," Finn teased, slamming his beer down on the coffee table and wiping the damp residue of the glass bottle off on his pants. 

Poe sat up noticeably straighter, shifting in his spot and tugging Finn closer to his side, eyeing you with suspicion and cocking a brow. You forced an insincere baffled look, eyes darting between the two who exchanged an agreeing look and set their attention back to you. 

"He's right," Poe nodded, nearly stating his words as a concerned question, "You never did tell us what your depressive episode was all about." He gestured towards you pointedly, his tone was light and playful, but his face displayed vivid curiosity. 

You shifted uncomfortably in the leather ottoman, the chair squeaking nearly incoherently under your weight as you cleared your throat and felt the blood rush to your face. Chewing your bottom lip nervously, you shrugged carelessly and averted your gaze with quariness to avoid their wide, attentive stares.

"Just seasonal depression," you chirped with another shrug and a breathy chuckle, chugging down some beer, "You know how it is." 

Finn laughed softly and nodded his head frantically, eyebrows raised and a tight smirk tugging at his lips. Poe remained skeptical, narrowing his eyes at you and eventually removing his arm from Finn and crossing his arms in front of his chest. 

"What?" You hummed as he stared at you with his lips pursed and eyebrows furrowed, studying your anxious body language. Cracking your knuckles gently in your lap, bouncing one of your neatly crossed legs, taking deep and sprawled breaths. 

"I don't believe you." He shook his head in plain disbelief, humming in disapproval. "Tell us." He demanded softly, placing his hand on Finn's knee and rubbing it platonically as both of them worriedly watched you stutter. 

Your cheeks were crimson, tingly with sheepishness as your eyes darted to Finn. You would have to tell Poe about everything that happened eventually, because you owed him the wholehearted truth for how generous and consoling he had been. It would just be senseless to mention being in a committed relationship with your teacher in front of one of his students, let alone the student that sits directly next to you. 

"I can't, um, talk about it... right now." You mumbled suggestively towards Finn, whom had thankfully been occupied taking a sip of his beer to catch on to your hints.

Poe's pupils dilated with frustrated realization. He huffed and brushed Finn off of him, fuming disappointment and shaking his head frantically, the curls on his head bouncing as he rounded the coffee table and circled your wrist. 

"Are you okay?" Finn asked consolingly, standing up to follow as you were being dragged towards the utility closet. You have never seen him this angry or upset with you before. It was alarming, you stumbled as he yanked you with a firm grip.

"Yes. We just need to talk for a second. It's her personal business," he politely smiled to Finn and waved him off, he settled back on the couch with a convinced nod and Poe dragged you into the closet, slamming the door shut behind him and pointing an accusing finger at you.

"I knew it!" He exclaimed breathlessly, waving his finger in your face and bantering prudently, "It's him, Ren, isn't it?" He shouted and you harshly shushed him, glaring. "Right?" He hushed his tone and whispered. 

You hesitated for a second, rolling your shoulders uncomfortably. "Yes." You breathed shamefully, he bit his tongue in annoyance and placed both hands on his hips, bowing his head lowly and shaking it. 

"But he didn't hurt me again. We are happy." You quickly added, bouncing on your heels and pleadingly staring at him, waiting for his response. 

He kept his head bowed for a few seconds, puckering up his lips and glancing up at you with a quipped sigh. "Then what was wrong? If he didn't hurt you?" He drawled, voice exasperated with the situation. 

"There's so much... we shouldn't keep him out there all alone." You gestured towards the door, implying that Finn was on the opposite end of it. 

"I'm not worried about that right now. He will be fine alone for a few minute. I just need to know that you're okay." He braced your shoulders and shook you lightly, his widened eyes struggling to choose on of yours to meet.

You sighed in defeat, slumping your stature and leaning into his touch, "Long story short... he apologized to me for everything, I forgave him. And then shortly after that my parents kicked me out of the house, so now Kylo and I are living in an apartment his friend offered him." You inhaled sharply to regain strength in your breathy words that were bleeding together, "One day while I was stressed and needed some alone time I decided to go for a walk... in the sketchy parts of the city.

He hummed in acknowledgement, nodding along to your words and listening attentively. "I got attacked by a fucking hobo, I called Kylo when I noticed the man following me and he managed to catch me just before anything too dangerous could happen. It's just..." You trailed off, tears rimming your eyelids as you sucked in a harsh breath. 

Poe noticed and frowned pitifully, pulling you into his chest into a quick and reassuring hug, patting your back to comfort you. You laughed breathily and wiped your tears with your forearm, blinking to recollect yourself and clearing your throat to speak again.

"He got carried away when he found me injured with that man on top of me." You zoned out on the rack of cleaning supplies, your bottom lip quivering as you unwillingly reminisced on that night, that still occasionally haunted your dreams. 

"He uh..." You swallowed thickly, "He killed him. I don't know how, I was barely conscious. A big part of me was wrongly grateful. I spent a day in the hospital before we went back home and I had some time to recover from my mild injury." You rambled on and on, speaking with passion and confidence, because the subject took a lot of guts for you too speak so freely about. "Just a concussion." You added, and forth the first time since you've began talking you caught a glimpse of his face and stifled a laugh. 

Eyes nearly bulging out of his head, jaw dropped in pure shock and eyes brows knitted together to the point his forehead creased. 

"Please don't freak out. He's not a murderer, he was protecting me." You held out your hands and waved them frantically, trying to convince him with urgent words. 

It felt like eternity before he responded to your previous statement. Blinking slowly and regulating his breathing. "I have to admit," he breathed, scratching the back of his unruly curls, "Although there were many ways to avoid the act he committed, he gained my respect. He's clearly in love with you, because love makes you crazy, and no sane person would murder for anything but that." 

Taking his words into consideration, you realized just how endearing they were, and how relatable too. 

After that, you idly explained the occurrences with the police, him being jailed and forbidden from seeing you frequently, and explained that you were distant and grumpy for those months without him because you were stressed about the outcome of Kylo's future and under the pressure of midterms. 

"You should've told me." He smiled sadly and scuffled with your hair playfully, making it staticky and poking out everywhere. You chuckled softly and smoothed out your hair. He glanced at you from over his shoulder and wordlessly questioned if you were prepared to exit, you nodded reassuringly and he pushed the door open, allowing the chilled air of the living room to refresh the heat of your skin from the crammed closet. 

Although you avoided the moment you would have to explain all of this to Poe, you were relieved that you had eased it all off of your chest and released the tension. The cloud of distress looming over you as the memories had built had evaporated into a sheer mist. The heavy pressure on your chest was gone. 

The light, fun mood that had lingered in the air before you made your uncomfort apparent had dispersed and fled the room, Finn was awkwardly silent and exchanging expectant looks between the two of you, and after a moment you decided this was the sensible time to head out. You and Kylo needed to run a few errands anyways, and the clock was nearing three in the afternoon.

~

"We don't need that many cookies," Kylo pursed his lips, the corner of his lip slightly curling upwards, taking two boxes of cookies out of the stack folded in your arms and placing them back down on the shelf. 

You sighed, "Fine." You rolled your eyes playfully, carelessly dropping the two other boxes of Chips Ahoy into the grocery cart. You slipped under his bulky arm as he gripped the handle with two hands, repositioning yourself in your original spot; back flushed to his chest as you pushed the cart together. 

Strolling through the isle, you hummed a tune replaying in your head softly as you eyed around the shelves; licking your lips and gasping excitedly when you noticed the Oreos. Bringing up your hand to point at them, he placed his hand on top of yours firmly and pressed it into the handle, threading his fingers through yours. 

"Look in the cart," he chuckled lowly, his chest rumbling against your back and the breath from his laugh wafting into your scalp. "All we've gotten is cookies and donuts, baby. We have a list you know." He teased. "We need real food." 

You peered down into the cart and noticed the cookies and the package of cinnamon sugar donuts, sighing defeatedly and giggling. "Whatever." You shrugged, he huffed in amusement and leaned forward to press a kiss to the cotton fabric hugging your shoulder. 

The drive to the grocery store was nearly twenty-five minutes, you collectively decided upon leaving town whenever you were running errands so you could publicly show affection to one another without the possibility of being seen by a local or anybody who could recognize either of you. 

Taking your time in each isle, Kylo collected the food items that you needed as you read the list off to him. "Cilantro." You muttered, clutching the list between two fingers and waving it around as he bagged the fresh, damp herb and tossed it into the cart, feathering his fingers through his hair. 

After awhile of meandering through the store together, trailing behind him and pushing the cart as he did all of the 'grown up' work and picked out the necessities, you began to feel antsy and impatient. You sighed multiple times to portray your boredom, making your uninterest apparent. If he noticed your wordless whining he was ignoring you. After about numerous breathy sighs he clenched his jaw and tilted his head up to stare at you as he crouched down in front of a shelf. 

"What are you pouting about?" His attention was set upon a bag of uncooked fettuccine noodles, studying them idly before he put them back and glanced up at you, humming as you failed to respond. 

"I don't know." You mumbled honestly, he snorted at your seriousness and cocked a brow at you. 

"You don't know?" He narrowed his eyes at you and huffed as you nodded up and down lightly, dropping his forearms to rest on his thighs. 

"I'm just bored." You breathed dramatically, groaning and pouting as you stomped behind him and fell limp into his frame, wrapping your arms around his neck softly and hugging him from behind, nuzzling your cheek into the back of his raven locks. 

He grappled with a bag of noodles, picking it up before he reached his arms behind him and looped your thighs, scooping you up and hoisting you up on his back as he stood up. You breathlessly chuckled, forearms loosely hugging his neck and feeling his throat bob against your wrist as he trudged over to the cart and tossed the package into the cart. 

One of his large hands gripped your outer thigh to steady you, you wrapped your legs around his torso and rested your chin on his shoulder, your breath wafting into the side of his head and causing his black waves to tickle his cheek. 

He pushed the cart forward with one hand, he showed no sign of struggle as he took lengthy and steady steps through the isles, grabbing whatever he needed with one hand and tossing it in the cart, completely unbothered that he was hauling a whole person on his back. 

Whistling to himself, both of you disregarding the weary glances shot in your direction, you slipped off of his back as you checked out. You insisted on paying for all of the groceries, and unsurprisingly enough he refused to let you pay, holding up the entire line until you let him buy them. 

After begging Kylo pleadingly to roll all of the windows down in the porsche on the way home, he eventually caved in when you formed the biggest pouty lips and doe eyes you could muster. The thick, evening air was too rich to be ignored. 

You smiled contently and waved your hand out the window, the pressure of the wind blowing your hand backwards and your hair flailing around to cover your face, when his phone began to ring. 

"Hello?" He grumbled uninterestedly, holding his phone up to his ear and steering with the other, glimpsing the cars reflection in the rear view mirror and switching lanes swiftly. 

You tucked a tousled strand of air behind your ear only for the wind to fiddle with it again, averting your gaze to him with squinted eyes and your hands pinning your hair down.

"Is this important? I'm driving." He stated plainly, a hint of snark in his tone, his hand abandoned the wheel and you unintentionally held in your breath. Luckily enough for you the interstate was a straight shot and he wouldn't have to turn. He fumbled with the console of his car and pulled out a cigarette, lazily popping it in his mouth. 

He cocked his head towards you suggestively, you wordlessly follow his silent command and untucked his lighter from the bottom of the cup holder, cupping your hand over his face to shield the flame from the wind as it sparked and you lit his cigarette. He nodded a silent thanks and hummed occasionally to the person on the phone, implying that he was still listening. 

Everything was tranquil, peaceful, the intoxicating scent of smoke flooding your nostrils and the wind tickling your cheeks, as he gasped and slammed the brakes in the center of the interstate and you jolted forward, his hand flew out protectively in front of your chest as he shouted curses and regained his speed before anybody could crash into you. 

"What do you mean security footage?" He snapped, exchanging an indicating glance with you and you swore your heart stopped. There was a long silence. Allowing you a considerable amount of time to run all of the horrible possibilities and outcomes in your head. 

"When?" He expressed disappointment and rubbed his forehead in annoyance. A few seconds of silence as you bit your trembling lip nervously. "I will be there." Another quipped silence before he hung up and slammed his phone into the console, propping up his elbow on the frame of the door and holding his head in his hand in exasperation. 

Frowning dully at the sight, your hand slithered up his seat and behind his head, you softly feather your fingers through his hair consolingly and massage his scalp, a low hum rumbling from his chest.

"The administration office requested to meet with me tomorrow." He sighed furiously, rolling his eyes and flexing his grip on the wheel as his jaw tensed. "Regarding security footage of me...

“And a student."


	31. Three Strikes

The rest of the night was spent with her drowning herself in anxiety, her apparent fear for the outcome of his meeting tomorrow was palpable, contagious. He choked down his own distress knowing that he needed to support her the best that he could, even through his own distortion the unknown provided him.

He reassured her that things would be fine, carefully wording his persuasions so they sounded less like a promise and more like a hopeful guess. Apparently he wasn't convincing enough to dissolve her turmoil feelings. He resulted in doing the one thing he uncovered was typically successful in cheering her up and always her favorite; snuggling her on the couch and watching her favorite Disney movie to ease her spiraling notion. 

"Mm...I love this part." She mumbled softly, her voice trailing off and her eyelashes fluttering shut as she was curled up into his side, head resting on his shoulder as his hand tenderly traced her bicep. 

He smiled openly with the knowledge she couldn't see his face from the angle of her head, his cheek nuzzled into her scalp, "I know. You said that the last eight times you made me watch this." He quipped lowly. If he was being bluntly honest with himself he was growing fond of the movie overtime, he would just never admit that a children's film was fascinating to him. 

Then again, he wasn't offered the solitude of a carefree and diverting childhood as the majority of people had. That could be why a movie directed towards twelve year olds touched him directly to the soul, because he knew that he could've used this entertainment as a distraction from his torturously long years of youth. 

The only grateful moral he escaped the ravenous clutch of his past with was the capability of owning the knowledge of business. He developed impeccable work ethic, the strict walls barricading him inside of his manipulative families grasp provided him one lesson that would stick forever. 

That there would always be a part of him that loved the pain you caused them. A part of him that would hold onto the trauma and chaos he inflicted onto all of the people he called family that took advantage of his prosperities for the beneficial growth of their stocks and business. 

He was raised to become an entrepreneur for his uncles shady pharmaceutical implant, being fed contentious statistics and information from the mere age of five years old. He was barely grazing the exposition into adolescence when he made up his mind, establishing boundaries with himself and his family, knowing he would never follow in his uncles footsteps. 

Fun was strictly excluded from his childhood. His spare time that didn't consist of schooling on medicine was spent being invisible to them all. His mother and father who let his uncle treat him this way never made an effort to acknowledge the achievements and sacrifices he unwillingly made to please them. 

Things escalated with his uncles business and his position in the office; at the juvenile age of seventeen he was a CEO for the 'Skywalker Medical Firm' in Chicago. His life then was a never ending loop of defending an illegal company that he had no interest in and repeating over and over again until it grew to be unbearable.

His impulses kicked in and sent him into overdrive as he abandoned his family legacy and followed his own desires; being a teacher always appealed to him for reasons unbeknownst to him. His uncle Luke and the rest of his family disowned him for his 'self conceded' decision. 

He reconstructed his life and moved to Manhattan, attending the secluded college of Julliard, dispersing himself in his studies. He met his wife there, and as appalling as it was, he had married her after only a couple of months of knowing her just to prove to his family that he was descending the ladder of success without them. The worst part was he felt no remorse or guilt. He couldn't care less of the problems he has stirred in her life. 

Which was what made him an unredeemable asshole, he embraced his impertinent personality with open and welcoming arms. The only person whose opinion mattered to him was hers, and the mention of her in the cloud of blood-curdling thoughts was enough to evaporate the white fog into mist, snapping out of his trance. 

It's been years since he resurfaced his past in his mind. These thoughts were the ones he had spent years avoiding and manifesting the non-existence of, the reason his vexation would defend him instinctively at the mention of family, or even love, before he fell for her.

He forced himself to focus on the television, engaged by the movie, absentmindedly caressing her bare arm with light, delicate strokes and taking in the warmth of her skin radiating off of her, her breathing steadied and shallow. The bowl of popcorn she insisted on sharing with him was loosely hanging from her limp palm and resting wobbly on his thigh. 

He gingerly released it from her grasp and leaned forward to place it down on the coffee table, cautious as to waking her. She stirred for a second, purring in her sleep and nuzzling her face into his chest instead, squirming as one of her legs was interlocked with his. 

He tediously removed his cheek from her scalp, the skin flushed pink and his dark locks falling like sheers into his face and obscuring his vision. He juts out his bottom lip with a huff, blowing the hair out of his face. His heart physically twinged with endearment at the sight of her. 

Her stature was careless and consoled, her trust in him was tangible through the way she connected with his body, as if she was attempting to morph and mingle herself to be one with him. 

The only thing he has ever been certain of was right before him. And the only thing he would never be certain of was why she could make him feel these peculiar feelings. There are over seven billion people in this world and not a single one of them possessed the power she unknowingly had over him. 

He let her sleep like this for a moment longer than necessary, drinking in the comfort her solace offered him and his internal conflict as he reminisced on moments that ceased to exist in the book of his life. 

After the credits played and soft, childish music elicited from the television he fumbled at his free side for the remote, hand digging into the crack between the couch and armrest as he released the remote and powered it off. 

He tenderly scooped her up in his arms, supporting her neck with his forearm and looping his other arm under the back of her knees. He cradled her to his chest and meandered the halls until he entered the bedroom, making an effort to softly place her down into the sheets. He gingerly pulled off her fluffy socks and tossed them into balls on the floor, slipping her legs under the sheets and tucking her in.

She stirred and grumbled, humming softly to herself and squirming until she flipped over and laid on her stomach, bringing one of her knees up to her side and stretching her arms out. Leaving no room for his massive frame. He sighed and chuckled to himself, deciding upon allowing her to rest and sleeping on the couch instead. 

~

Before he even had an opportunity to close his eyes, the morning sun was already peaking through the cracked blinds of the window, a golden glow illuminating the room. He sat up from the uncomfortable, crammed position he had been bent into to fit on the couch, resting his elbows on his thighs and rubbing his face vigorously. 

Mentally preparing himself for the events that would unfold today, he couldn't. There was no way to mend the fragility of his mind with the reminder of past trauma mixing with the inevitable truth that he could lose his occupation that he worked restlessly for in the next hour. 

His face was stoic and cold in the reflection of the mirror as he adjusted his tie idly. He personally preferred when she did it for him, she had that magic woman touch that could cure or repair things effortlessly. 

He sighed through his nose, slicking his hair back with a thin coat of gel before he tiptoed in his leather shoes towards the bedroom. It was a Sunday and she deserved to sleep in, he would write her a handwritten note, she always loved them and secretly saved them. He allowed her the satisfaction of believing she was discreet about it.

He admired her sleeping state from the doorway for a few seconds, his hands in his pockets and a smirk tugging at his lips before he stepped past her dirty clothes he was constantly picking up. He slipped a hand out from his pocket, smoothing the hair out of her forehead and pressing a swift kiss to her temple. Gathering his leather bag that conveyed his grading materials, fumbling with a pen on her nightstand and flipping through the pad of paper before he found a blank one. 

Good morning, sunshine.

I will be back after my meeting with the administrators. Everything will be fine. We will grab brunch afterwards. 

Love, Kylo.

He glimpsed the clock and placed the note down next to her phone, his feet carrying him hurriedly towards the door. 

~ 

He bustled through the double-doors to the meeting room, shrugging with one shoulder to adjust his bag. Three neatly clad men and a woman sat expectantly in a straight row, hands clasped tightly and demeanor serious, disappointed, disgusted. 

He bit his tongue in annoyance to refrain from snarling while they eyed his every movement, every step. He lowered himself down in the seat directly across from them, his face must've been a clear apprehension of irritation for one of the attendants looked away from him. 

"What is this about?" He spoke firmly, voice laced with false curiosity. 

The balding man in the center of affiliates sighed and pushed his glasses up by the bridge, exchanging a look with the woman. "We are going to make this as fast and painless as possible." He mustered the words through a strained breath, pushing a thin stack of papers forward. 

His eyes darted to the papers and back to the man as he cocked a brow, his upper lip slightly curled in disgust. He remained silent as a wordless indicator to carry on. 

"You've had three strikes, Kylo Ren. You were lucky we even hired you in the first place after what you did to-"

"You have no right to speak of my personal life." He calmly retorted, his nostrils flaring with rage as the heat wafted into his face and stained his cheeks red with fury. That was a close call. 

"You're right, and I apologize for that," the man pursed his lips and nodded awkwardly, sucking in a deep breath. "With numerous criminal records, before and after your employment, we already lost faith in your ability to continue your teachings here." 

He blinked in response, his fists clenching into tight, blood restricting balls at his sides. After they anticipated a response or sign they could continue he nodded curtly. 

"But your recent events have drawn the line, Mr. Ren. Your recent actions are very illegal and involve this school and it's reputation if the truth ever slipped out." He accusingly huffed, "She will seek consequences and as will you. I'm sorry, sir, but you no longer work with us."

He swallowed the urge to scream, his bottom lip quivering as his lips pursed together tightly to the point his face twitched and turned red. "She did nothing wrong." He sputtered, spit flying through his clenched teeth. 

"This conversation is over with, Ren. Have your personal belongings removed from the photography classroom by the end of the day tomorrow." One woman spoke up with malice lacing her tone, eyebrows knitted together. 

He paused, remaining seated for a minute longer than acceptable, before he stood up and scooped up the papers he hadn't bothered to read and pushed in his chair. "I understand," he faked disappointed tranquility, "have a good rest of your day."

The second he made it back to his car without collapsing from sensory overload and anger, he slammed his hands into the steering wheel and screamed. A deep, guttural sound rumbling from his chest and scorching his throat on the way out as he thrashed and repeatedly slammed the wheel on repeat.

The papers crinkled in his grip and left dents into it as he fumbled with them aggressively and flipped them to read the words. It was an order directly from the court, a sentence, that if he returned to the property of any educational agency he would be sued. 

This was a sugar-coated version of saying his future was now make believe. With two criminal charges and the possibility of another if word gets to the police that he had been sleeping with a student, there was a list shorter than the number you could count to with two hands of jobs that would hire him after this mishap. 

He popped a cigarette into his mouth, cupping it with his hand as he used the lighter to light it, the windows all the way down and blowing his hair into his face. He inhaled the smoke and instantly felt the way it calmed his nerves as it slithered through his bones. Anything to prepare him for the unavoidable. 

He knew what he had to do. But was he ready to do it?


	32. Promise

The midday sun lurked behind the thin, sheer cotton of your drapes, tinting your bedroom a dull and gloomy gray as the golden glow yearned to bleed through the curtains and display it's welcoming warmth to your wintry skin. 

You grumbled under your breath and rolled onto your back, stretching raspingly with a breathy yawn. Crust had accumulated around your eyelashes, you used your knuckles to wipe the dryness away and sat up slowly. With squinted eyes you stared at the emptiness on the opposite side of the bed and smoothed out the already crisp sheets. 

Scratching the back of your tousled hair, you reached for your phone on the nightstand only to be greeted with a neatly folded piece of paper. You unfolded it gingerly, sighing unconvincingly when you studied the reassuring words Kylo wrote with his delicate handwriting. 

You attempted to manifest a favorable outcome of the meeting he was required to attend, only for your doubt to wash away any possibility of it working. You were only capable of mustering untamable apprehension, anxiety. The odds opposed your favor, and significantly his. 

After a few minutes of scrolling through your socials, you climbed out of bed. The floor boards creaked softly beneath your weight as you trudged throughout the room, bending at the waist to collect one of his t-shirts from off of the floor. 

It was black, crisp and ginormous on you, you dragged your feet dramatically to the kitchen, adorning just your panties and his oversized t-shirt, content with the manly scent you now basked in, his fresh musky scent lingering on the fabric.

There was a repulsive pile of dishes stacked up lazily in the sink from the night before, you and Kylo cooked handmade pizzas together and danced around the kitchen, your heart swelled tremendously as you reminisced on the moment and how he was willing to do just about anything to cheer you up, even if it humiliated him.

Ever since he was released from jail, his already crumbling façade of this sinister, stern beast had been completely demolished, remaining as a cluster of rubble and ash, being refurbished with a softness that you adored. 

The sweet, tender side of Kylo had always been there; concealed by the thick barrier of malice he maintained prudently, his graciousness slipping through the cracks and cascading an illuminating path winding towards his redemption. 

Your thoughts were hastily intervened by the front door slamming shut, you jolted and splashed murky, soapy water in the air, blinking harshly to recollect yourself as Kylo plowed through the living room and straight towards you with determination, urgency. 

You dropped your sponge in the cloudy water, idly wiping your soaked hands off on a nearby towel, tentatively observing his troubled mechanisms, bottom lip quivering slightly and his eyes were glossy, blood-shot and wide. 

"What's wrong?" Your voice was shaky and meek as it passed through your lips, deep down you had been expecting this ever since the phone call he received last night. 

He rubbed his jaw vigorously and sharply halted in his tracks, gripping his hip and shifting his weight to one foot as his face displayed pure defeat. 

"Kylo..." You tiptoed towards him cautiously, he avoided your gaze and stared down at his feet intensely, poking his inner cheek with his tongue and clenching his jaw as he shifted uncomfortably. 

You gingerly took his face in both of your hands, caressing his cheeks with your thumbs as you gently titled his head up, eyes darting between his for a source of vitality. He took a few deep breaths before he blinked firmly and lifted his gaze to yours, penetrating you with his palpable sadness. 

"I'm assuming..." You swallowed the thick lump of spit in your throat, he nodded before you got to finish. 

"What are we going to do?" You whispered sadly, eyebrows knitted together as sorrow etched itself into your chest like a branding, a marking, a terrible reminder that you were spiritually owned by his love and that you could never lose him. 

He shrugged, lips pursed and trembling as his hand cupped the back of your head gingerly, his other arm wrapping around your waist and pulling you securely to his chest. He swayed you from side to side, stroking your hair as you fidgeted with his tie and sniffled. 

"I don't know," he finally mumbled into your temple, pressing a pliant kiss and sighing. 

Another silence brimmed the atmosphere around you, he hummed softly into your ear and caressed the arch of your back with his finger, pressing his cheek into your head. His hand slithered down your spine, rounding the curve of your ass, he squeezed the flesh in his palm roughly and growled nearly incoherently.

You whimpered under your breath, he massaged harder, removing his face from your hair and tilting your head to the side forcefully, his lips latching onto your neck with deprivation, as if he had lacked the taste of your skin, passionately licking and sucking as you pressed your lower half into his groin. 

He began rubbing himself against you and you shuddered, chewing on your bottom lip as his needy movements sparked a faint flame of pleasure in your clit, stimulating it. You grasped onto his biceps for support as he walked you backwards until your back hit the wall, still peppering your neck and collarbone with hungry kisses. 

You bucked your hips to meet his and he chuckled into your skin, sending vibrations through your throat as it bobbed with the force of your lustful swallow. 

He abruptly removed himself from you and you whined, jutting our your bottom lip, "Please don't stop," you breathed pleadingly and latched onto his torso, connecting yourself with his hips again. 

He stumbled forward and his hands slammed into the wall beside your head as you guided his clothed length towards your cunt, the friction eliciting tiny gasps from your lips. 

"Mmm," he growled, his head slightly falling back, "does that feel good, baby?" He hummed, you nodded frantically and one of his hands firmly gripped your jaw, fingers piercing holes into your skin. 

"Yes, daddy." You corrected yourself, eyes sealed shut with hiccups of breath as your body tingles from the teasing, he disconnected his lower half from you briefly and you writhed, before he unzipped his pants hurriedly and untucked himself, revealing his throbbing cock.

Everything jumbled together in a pleasurable blur, his lips memorizing each curve and crevice of your body, trailing from your neck, chest, breasts, stomach, pussy, thighs, all the way down to your feet and back up again, muttering praises into your skin before he slipped inside of you, your wetness coating his cock as he stretched out your walls. 

Cock lodged inside of your core, he cradled you tightly to his chest and maneuvered around the room before he dropped you on the couch and pinned your wrists above your head, one knee propped up on the cushion and his other foot placed on the floor as he pounded into you.

"You feel so good," he gasped, barring his teeth together as your body rocked with his powerful thrusts, toes curling with ecstasy, mouth propped open with breathless moans as you grapple onto the sensation of his cock splitting you open and your cunt clenching around him.

His face was a glowing shade of red as sweat glistened off of his forehead, hair stickily matting around his face and neck, both of you meeting each other's enraptured gaze as he fucked you into an oblivion.

"You're always going to be my little girl," he grunted and pounded into you even deeper, stroking your cervix and you moaned lewdly, "No matter what," he sounded distressed, one of his hands left your wrists and snaked down to your clit, rubbing delicious circles into you.

"Right?" He breathed in exasperation, his hair flailing around his face and his under eye twitching as he attempted to reassure himself, "Right?" His voice cracked, and through the haze your euphoric vision was distorting to as your climax built you noticed the tears brimming around his eyes. 

"Y-yes, always." You hiccuped and trembled beneath him as you nearly reached the peek, his fingers relentlessly rubbing and pinching your wet clit, your body jerking and tensing as you teetered over the edge. 

"Go ahead and cum, baby. You can always cum for me. Always." He blubbered, a dribble of drool spilling from the corner of his lips as his shoulders tensed and his jaw went slack as he pounded harder, a single tear spilled from his eye and collided with your cheek, the warm drizzle slithering down your face. 

You wailed and sputtered nonsense as you came, "T-thank you, daddy," you clenched around him harder, your orgasm rapturing your entire body as you shivered and stars consumed your vision. 

"You're welcome, y-fuck." He held onto his peak for as long as possible, the veins pulsing in his neck about to snap as he strained his throat and locked up his pleasured sounds and the tears forming in his eyes.

He nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, slowing his thrusts and fucking you with precision, your overstimulated cunt was buzzing with electricity. His fingers interlocked with yours, pinning them above your head, squeezing them with endearment as he groaned and grunted into your neck.

A wetness pooling along your skin, he released a tiny, cracked sob, his breath hitching as he neared his peak and broke down in tears all at once, "You have to promise me you will be my little girl no matter what." He stuttered breathlessly, his breath tickling your neck and triggering a line of goosebumps up your spine. 

"Please." He whispered desperately before he moaned lewdly and his cock pulsed and twitched inside of you, he released a long gasp as his climax crashed into him and he came inside of you, "I need to hear you say it."

Without an ounce of hesitation you nodded frantically, "I'm yours no matter what. I promise."

His cock rode you through the waves of aftershock as he slowed his tempo and continued holding your hands and nuzzling into your body.

A moment passed by, both of you writhing and panting arduously as he slipped out of you. With sweat accumulated in the crevices of his palms, he gripped your waist and swiftly switched places with you, his frame underneath you as he encircled your body with his arms and held you dearly to his chest, face pressed into the space between your shoulder and cheek, kissing softly and sniffing your hair.

"You promise?" He whispered into your ear, his breath hot and rigid, he nibbles on your earlobe. 

"I promise, Kylo. Pinky promise." You grinned cheekily, your chin pressed into his chest as you brought up your pinky fingered and he stared at it plainly for a few seconds before removing a hand from your body and tangling his pinky with yours.

"Pinky promise." He mumbled with a huff of amusement, shaking your pinky and pecking the tip of your finger before dropping your hand lazily.


	33. The Universe

He was gone. 

All of it happened in a blink of an eye, a weary snap of a finger.

His grand entrance into the gouge of your frenetic life, and his somber, dreadful descent from it, his escape. 

The sensibleness soothed your quivering sorrow, the understanding settled in place and bombarded the unease. His melancholy choice, his undoable action, had justified reasonings that provoked sadness between you both. 

Both of you endured experiences that will be infeasible to overlook. And you both understood that his exploit was for the better. 

Chicago owned prosperities that he was equipped to pursue. Educated and knowledgeable on the business he would return to. The only thing holding him back from hounding his destiny was you. And you refused to be the barrier barricading him from the only option of stability he had left.

He sighed, glimpsing you from over his shoulder as he neared the door, all of his belongings stored away in his Porsche and the U-Haul. 

The heartbreak was palpable, a weighted rope entwining your hearts as one, straining the further he strayed towards the door. 

You pivoted away from him, clutching your stomach to appease from being sick, stifling the choked sobs still managing to crawl up your throat. 

"I can't watch you leave me..." You sniffled, shuddering and releasing a shaky breath that caused your entire body to tremble. "Not again." You titled your head to obscure your vision, sealing your eyes shut, forceful tears cascading down your cheeks. 

The floorboards creaked mutely, his tedious steps maneuvering towards you almost hesitantly, before his warm palm cupped your shoulder and you tensed as he spun you to face him with a look of dismay. 

"This isn't a goodbye." He mumbled flamboyantly, nodding curtly to confirm his words. His eyes were glossy and bloodshot from the mingled tears you shared only moments before. 

"It is." You rasped, drool pooling at the corner of your lips as you wailed, "You know it. We both do." 

He shook his head and clicked his tongue in disapproval, his lips tightly pursed as he clasped one of your hands gingerly and curled your fingers around one of his. He pliantly presses kisses to each individual knuckle as he made softened eye contact with you. 

"It isn't goodbye, no matter how far we are." His free hand caressed the side of your cheek with his knuckles, wiping away your tears and tilting his head. "My love for you cannot be tamed, regardless of the miles separating us." 

He chewed his inner cheek and blinked rapidly as he looked away, his eyes glossing over with tears before his swift blinks washed them away and he cleared his throat, pulling you into one last embrace. 

"I don't want you to go." You mumbled into his chest, smearing your tears as you shook your head vigorously and listened to the dramatic thudding of his heart, both of you squeezing each other tightly to the point breathing became a struggle. 

"I know." He cooed into your scalp, his hand rubbing comforting circles into your back as the other engulfed your waist. You felt wetness lapping up in your tousled hair and you whimpered when he sucked in a shaky breath and squeezed you tighter, hoisting you up in his arms. 

You instinctively wrapped your legs around his torso as he rested his chin on your shoulder, you nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck, his black locks tickling your forehead as he shifted on his feet and rocked you from side to side; both of you basking in the love for one another, relishing on the warmth of each other's bodies as he solemnly cradled you to his chest. 

"This is for the best." He whispered into your ear, nipping at your earlobe and pressing a delicate kiss to your temple before he tilted his head against yours with a heavy sigh through his nose. 

The only response you could muster was a shallow nod, swallowing the sticky lump bobbing in your throat and feverishly kissing his neck as you cradled the back of his head and feathered your fingers through his hair, before he unwillingly lowered you to the ground. 

You refused to part ways with his body, arduously hugging him to the point a blood vessel might pop, face contorting into a despaired grimace as you pressed your forehead into his tear stained shirt. 

Both of his hands abandoned your body and cupped your jaw tenderly, tilting your head up to meet his regretful gaze, "I love you." He reassured, caressing your tears soaked skin as your eyes sealed shut and you leaned into his consoling touch, he leaned in and pliantly kissed your lips.

"I love you," you whispered back, spit blubbering in your throat and you cradled his hands holding your face, brushing his knuckles with your thumbs. 

The rest was a jumbled, unintelligible blur through your pleading wails and spiraling notion. All you could despiser was the black somber abyss of his eyes as he cautiously closed the door behind him, the threshold barricading your view of him. 

~

His calloused fingertips ignited blazing stars along the tender expanse of your skin; adorning the markings of his endearment, his plush, soft lips trailing pliant kisses upon each crevice and curve of your body, marking it as his as his hands explored your flesh with familiarity, traversing with merciless intimacy. 

His delicate touches, the warmth of his habitual skin, the tenderness of his caresses. They were all ghosts that fogged your memory and pierced your skin, lingering, his inevitable disappearance a throbbing reminder blemishing your body. 

The thick, black, glossy curtains of hair that skimmed through your fingers like silk. The prominent arch of his nose that twitched when your fingertip gingerly grazed the satin skin. The gentle flutter of his dark eyelashes when you mumbled softly to awake him from a deep, cuddled up slumber, sluggishly revealing the rich brown of his piercing irises, speckling with a crisp honey-hazel. 

The beauty marks peppering his skin, minuscule or fair, a blissful heaven to your lips as you feverishly pecked his moles, naming them all with each pucker of your lips, each one monumental and replicating the luminous twinkles of stars dotting the sky. His face was your universe. 

The huskiness taming his voice, lacing his gravelly tone whenever his vision was blurred with infatuation, and his only objective was to spike your cravings for his touch, to pleasure you endlessly, to cloud your spiraling notion with ecstasy and unravel you in a divine state of euphoria. 

The rush of emotions wafted into your face, mingling with the intense iciness of the winter breeze tinting your nose a tingling rouge. All of those feelings were just memories longing to fade and be refurbished with a fresh batch of treasurable moments.

Only you refused to let it all go. 

Refused to let him go. All of the memories you molded together with the force of your connected palms. Of the empty promises and futile words exchanged. 

The frosty tip of your nose scrunched as you sniffled, the inhospitable wind whirling around you only fueled your solemness. The gloves hugging your cold skin failed to warm your hands, the pockets of your coat proving to be worthless. 

The view of New York City was phenomenal from the quarry of lush plants. The ledge offered a marveling view of the vibrant skyscrapers and the amber tinted haze of pollution. The water trickling softly through the slick rubble, burrowing through the rigid cracks replicated a tranquilizing hum in your ears. 

The mesmerizing sight before you chipped away your unbalanced dignity that you've been piecing together brick by brick, layer by layer, as you reminisced on the night he first brought you here. To apologize for his mistakes with an extraordinary, sacred spot, dedicated to your rekindled, mended relationship. 

Blinking away tears harshly, you collapsed into the crunchy grass beneath you, frosted with the crispness of winter mildew. The brightness of the cities luminous blinding lights obscured your vision faintly, the stars overhead nearly unintelligible. 

Through squinted eyes and a durasteel wall of determination, your eyes danced along the cloudy border of contamination and seared straight through. The stars glowed with thousands of shades of whites and yellow, but above them all, the pair of stars you distinguished as his and yours beamed brighter than the rest.

Your stars intertwined, sparkling and glistening together, the flickers flashing coetaneously. 

You smiled, straining the muscles in your dull cheeks as your mind raced with hopeful thoughts. That one day, whether it be in an entirely new lifetime or in the unforeseeable future that unknowingly lies ahead, you will cross paths with him and relearn the dashing mysteries of Kylo Ren. 

Imagining him in Chicago, laying restlessly at night in his luxurious apartment and slugging over to his balcony with the desire of you accompanying him as he observed the same constellation, with the same warm smile, reminiscing on all of his vivid memories of you. 

The thought nuzzled solace in the crevices of your blackened heart, and for a few relieving minutes everything felt normal and serene as you recalled on all of the sentimental moments of your unstable relationship, the good memories overlapping the horrendous ones. 

"I love you." You whispered softly to the chilly midnight air, the stars flashed vibrantly and you smiled sadly, captivated by the navy mass surrounding the stars; just as you had been with him. Lost in the alluring sequence before you. Whether it be the stars glistening overhead, or that handsome face you learned each detail of...

Captivation was the greatest factor in your life. Without it, you would've never learned what it meant to love somebody the way you loved him.

~

The moon and city lights projected a dim, blue tinged glow along the mosaic tiles of his apartment, the constant gyrating in his mind clashing with the soft brightness preventing him from drifting into a highly needed slumber, prohibiting him from having dreams of you. 

That was the only opportunity he ever had to touch you again. The highways, lakes and overpopulated cities separating him from you banished him from grazing your delicate skin, feeling your smooth flesh beneath his hands, and he drank in any silhouette of you in his broken dreams whenever he did manage to fall asleep. 

He grumbled curses to himself, his mildly stiff bed creaking loudly beneath his weight as he forcefully flipped to face the opposite direction, sealing his eyes shut to block out the moons gentle sheen only for it to bleed through the cracks of his eyelids. 

He sighed bitterly and flung up from the bed with a scowl, carelessly tossing his blanket off of him. He scratched his tousled head and his feet slowly brought him to the polished glass doors that led to his balcony.

He shoved them open, the chilly winter air greeting him with an intense breeze as his hair wisped over his shoulders and he trudged towards the ledge.

Eyes narrowed due to lack of sleep, his gaze first danced along the booming city of Chicago, yards and yards of traffic swerving and honking below him, blinding lights radiating off of the skyscrapers and illuminating the night sky, before his gaze drifted to the fog blurring the stars.

He huffed, forearms pressed into the ledge of his balcony as his tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip in concentration. It took only a few focused minutes before he could make out their stars. 

Thoughts of you flooded his brain, a gushing waterfall threatening to drown him in turmoil. The way your body fluttered and reacted to his touch. Your soft lips that curled and hummed against his with satisfaction. Your silky, tangled hair fanning out around your face and tickling his chin as you would snuggle up close to him at night. 

He observed the tranquil flickers of the stars, subconsciously smiling as the wind brushed his shirtless, toned chest, glistening with sweat from the heat of the loneliness. 

He was left to ponder on the fresh and the old memories, from the millisecond after he left you in your apartment with tears threatening to spill from his eyes, to the very moment he met you.

How could he have let a student, young and vibrant, beautiful and soft, flip his entire world upside down in all of the best ways imaginable. Allowed you to captivate him? 

That was a question that would never be answered. A question that would continuously float around searching for the antidote to his befuddlement and be left unquenched. 

The only thing left to do was relish on it all to cure the numbing pain that engrossed his body, and yours, for with little knowledge of your current actions, there was one thing he was positive of.

You were both analyzing the same astonishing constellation. In his eyes the universe tended to revolve around you and his inevitable love for you; the true star in his life. You may consider the radiant collection of gas twinkling in the sky a depiction of your relationship, but he would always see you as the monumental piece that molded him into the better man he was growing to be. 

His captivator.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End of Part 1: Captivated.

**Author's Note:**

> this was originally uploaded to my wattpad, @kyloewok, and it was also my first fanfic. i was young, and my writing skills were lacking... so don’t shit on this fic. I am sensitive, thanks, LMAO.


End file.
